I put maybe based in my own experience of seeing my parents go through terminal illnesses.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Wow no posts on the thread since 2021, might be talking to myself here but here goes.
I think it's very telling that the people who've watched a loved one die are almost unanimously in favour of assisted dying. Same for all the nurses I've met.
Of course there's massive ethical questions and the law would have to be water tight with certain strict conditions to be met. Did anyone watch the brilliant bbc documentary Better Off Dead with Liz Carr? She's fabulous and I appreciated her arguments but they didn't persuade me.
I think most opposition goes back to deeply entrenched religious ideas of how only God gets to take you. This is a secular country but that concept is still a powerful force that makes a lot of people uneasy with debates around AD. But it's coming, it has to. My body my choice.
I think it's very telling that the people who've watched a loved one die are almost unanimously in favour of assisted dying. Same for all the nurses I've met.
Of course there's massive ethical questions and the law would have to be water tight with certain strict conditions to be met. Did anyone watch the brilliant bbc documentary Better Off Dead with Liz Carr? She's fabulous and I appreciated her arguments but they didn't persuade me.
I think most opposition goes back to deeply entrenched religious ideas of how only God gets to take you. This is a secular country but that concept is still a powerful force that makes a lot of people uneasy with debates around AD. But it's coming, it has to. My body my choice.
Coming at this from a medical point of view. I have seen people who have suffered horrible deaths. I, personally, have operated on people who shouldn't have to go through a surgery but it's the only option to give them some sort of relief.
I came home from work one day many years ago and my childhood dog was huddled in the corner, clearly in pain. I rushed her to the vet and she had internal bleeding plus some other issues going on. I was told I could have her taken to the animal hospital and put through test after test and potentially operations, but she was 22 years old and the outcome would almost 100% have been the same. Instead, she was allowed a peaceful and dignified death. Did it hurt? Of course. But it would have hurt either way. Our animals are not allowed to suffer and yet people are.
Do I think there should be many rules and regulations in place? Totally. It's can't be "I have this diagnosis and now this is my option." It needs to be discussed multiple times with different medical professionals but ultimately, it should be the patients choice.
I came home from work one day many years ago and my childhood dog was huddled in the corner, clearly in pain. I rushed her to the vet and she had internal bleeding plus some other issues going on. I was told I could have her taken to the animal hospital and put through test after test and potentially operations, but she was 22 years old and the outcome would almost 100% have been the same. Instead, she was allowed a peaceful and dignified death. Did it hurt? Of course. But it would have hurt either way. Our animals are not allowed to suffer and yet people are.
Do I think there should be many rules and regulations in place? Totally. It's can't be "I have this diagnosis and now this is my option." It needs to be discussed multiple times with different medical professionals but ultimately, it should be the patients choice.
Right now I am on Day 6 of sitting at my husbands bedside on Nil by Mouth waiting for him to die, what an ffing way to go, it is horrendous. The staff are wonderful doing everything they can to make him comfortable and out of pain and looking after me and now he doesn't move, speak or open his eyes and seems comatosed. He has Parkinsons, Lewy Body Dementia, Dysphagia, Pneumonia and Sepsis - how much more does he have to have for someone to put him out of his misery, it is grinding me down, I am not sleeping, depressed and upset but for goodness sake I am sure there should be a way out of this in a couple of days. I was told on day 1 he was going to die but it is dragging on which should not be able to happen.
Dear God I am so sorry. All love to you
They say if you come into the world knowing someone is there who loves you and go out with the same, everything in between is bearable. I'm sure he feels your presence and your love. Peace will come x
Much love and strength to you @rivermonster
I just lost my mum to head and neck cancer, and holding her while she cried that she wanted to die while her face rotted from the inside out was horrendous. It dragged on for weeks, she was in so much pain and misery, with her dignity draining away.
It is inhuman that we let people suffer like that. Of course there must be safeguards, but it shouldn't stop us from helping people end their lives when they're in this kind of state.
I just lost my mum to head and neck cancer, and holding her while she cried that she wanted to die while her face rotted from the inside out was horrendous. It dragged on for weeks, she was in so much pain and misery, with her dignity draining away.
It is inhuman that we let people suffer like that. Of course there must be safeguards, but it shouldn't stop us from helping people end their lives when they're in this kind of state.
If we gave people more autonomy over when they pass they would enjoy their good days before illness takes over so much more too. Right now people with terminal illnesses must worry about their decline, loss of dignity and the pain they may suffer. If you put the power in their hands and let them decide when enough is enough I think you would allow them to focus on getting joy out of the time they have left.
I put no as you absolutely cannot prevent coercion and persuasion as human beings can’t help it. See what’s happening in Canada where people are subtly and not so subtly nudged to make this choice because the state won’t care for people adequately. It’s not surprising this is coming up now when there’s a large aging population we can’t support. It’s also very telling that conversations about assisted dying chosen freely by the individual very quickly turns to conversation about euthanasia chosen on someone else’s behalf. This is a very dangerous path to go down. People will definitely make the ‘choice’ to die rather than go into care and have to sell their home in order for children to inherit. This will almost certainly be encouraged within some families
Last edited:
Thinking of you, @rivermonster
Definitely don't disagree with your important points. Any law would have to be created with robust input from disability rights groups too. I totally get what those groups mean when they say no assisted dying without assisted living. I understand why people find it objectionable that society is debating assisted dying when so many aren't given the resources they need to assist them to live. I just find it wrong on a deep instinctive level that we can leave people to suffer unspeakably. Adults with capacity are given the autonomy to consent to or refuse treatments. That should extend to not prolonging a painful death too.
I struggle to have an opinion on this - my concern is whether it'll be abused. You have people who can't consent to whether they want a DNR, etc. But at the same time, it's horrible watching people slowly die.
My mum used to care for a man with MND. He signed something to say he doesn't want to be resuscitated.
I have a friend who lives on America. She's slowly dying and has decided on a certain date when she wants to die. (I can't quite remember the ins and outs but it's something I've struggled to read)
My mum used to care for a man with MND. He signed something to say he doesn't want to be resuscitated.
I have a friend who lives on America. She's slowly dying and has decided on a certain date when she wants to die. (I can't quite remember the ins and outs but it's something I've struggled to read)
It's usually the family rather than the patient objecting to a DNR even though Ethel is 92, blind, on a drip, suffering with no hope of improvement and her baby bird ribs would be smashed to bits with resus. We seem to have collectively forgotten that people do die. They don't last forever.
I agree that the issue is more the trying to prolong life with interventions that’s an issue rather than actively putting people to sleep
My husband deals with a lot of DNRs (Cardiothoracic surgeon) for this exact reason. He has dealt with situations where the family doesn't know about the DNR, which is completely within the patients right, but had them yelling at him and threatening legal action if he doesn't resuscitate. I've luckily never been in the position of being the lead doctor on a case with a DNR but one has always stuck with me from med school regarding a child and a custody battle. Was absolutely heartbreaking.
We put everything in place (POA) when he had the first signs of Parkinson's and there are copies everywhere they are needed.
But anyway I wanted to say that my husband passed away today and it was quite peaceful and so glad I was there holding his hand and talking to him when it happened, quite suddenly. It was something I wanted as I think it is cruel keeping people in that state and sure he would have said the same as we have talked lots about it and he should not have been left for 7 days like this - not NHS fault as they have been faultless but something has to be done about this.
But anyway I wanted to say that my husband passed away today and it was quite peaceful and so glad I was there holding his hand and talking to him when it happened, quite suddenly. It was something I wanted as I think it is cruel keeping people in that state and sure he would have said the same as we have talked lots about it and he should not have been left for 7 days like this - not NHS fault as they have been faultless but something has to be done about this.
Last edited:
So sorry for your loss
All my love
I support assisted dying however I would like to see some guardrails so that it is not abused.
Much love to you
