ASD Toddlers

[LittleMy]

How old was your little one when the words came? My little one is 3 and a half and at the minute all he says is Dad, Birthday (random one ) and Peppa. He doesn’t shut up though his mouth is non stop but just not proper words yet

He was about 2 and a half/3 when he first said “daddy” “car” etc but it took him a while longer to say “mummy.” He could say “chocolate” before he could say mummy (priorities ). I found the words began to come more when he started nursery, it really helped bring him on to be around other children and adults. Before then he would just scream for things and we had to guess what was wrong with him/what he wanted.

Is your little one receiving speech and language therapy? x

 

[LittleMy]

My daughter (non SEN) was 14 months old when my son was born, she mostly ignored him until he was about six months old and then she started to take more interest. They’re now 5.5 and 4, they’re very close!

I’ve always felt my son was different, but nursery have now requested an “early support referral” as they feel he needs some help with his social and emotional development and maturity. I’ve never heard of this referral! Anyone know who or what they could be asking for? Or what I should expect? I’ve got so many questions when nursery reopens next week.

I think that’s just another term for early intervention. So it may be a team of professionals like paediatricians, health visitor, speech and language therapists/occupational therapists etc. My two sons had this - they’re both autistic.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

You’d need a referral to a paediatrician. Usually a GP or HV can get the ball rolling @strawberrysunshine_x

Do I do that myself?

 

[peachhes]

Has he had his ears tested recently?

Nope. There was a phase he went through about a year ago of picking at his ears, I did call the GP and they refused to see him but I stood my ground…. She checked his ears quickly in the car park () and said they were fine.
He can definitely hear because he mostly responds to his name but I’m not sure if there could be something else ear related maybe

 

[Meg78]

Things mine currently obsesses about:

-fruit and vegetables
-Disney Princess anything
-counting in other languages
-locks and keys
-trains

 

[hol20x]

Does anyone have any tips for taking away the dummy so it’s only for bedtime? My daughter is about to turn 4, she’s autistic and has special educational needs (learning difficulties and communication problems mainly). She absolutely loves her dummy, it’s like a comfort to her. I’ve been trying to take it off her in the daytime but once she starts getting upset about something she cries for it back. I feel bad even taking it off her but she talks a lot more when it’s out, so I’m doing it for her benefit. She manages without it at nursery (but she’s only there for an hour cos that’s all she can cope with) but at home she barely goes 5 minutes without it.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Yeah i can imagine the transition is worrying. my little one goes to a private nursery atm and when he’s 3 my boyfriend wants him to move to the school nursery across the road and the transition just for that is making me nervous cos my son is so comfortable around the private nursery staff!

have you tried speaking to your nursery about what you can do to help with the transition? They should be offering advice and help really. sometimes i feel like they should do more. and surely that email would have been more helpful as a face to face convo??? Honestly they are no help sometimes i feel and don’t give much reassurance to parents

Aw bless him. How come he wants to move him Is it more of a pre school??

the schools senco has been ok. She’s suggested we take him to the chosen school once a week from April! for him to settle in and get a taste of the surrounds and the people. He’s fine with any children he meets it’s adults. We take him to diddikicks football and when the adults come up to him he hides behind me.

 

[Rmd0609]

Has anyone had a new baby and their ASD toddler has taken no notice of them, like the baby doesn’t exist? I thought it might be because it’s all new to them but baby is 3 months old now and still no notice. I know it’s not the end of the world on the grand scheme of things but it makes me said I don’t have any pictures of them close together.

 

[Livelife01]

Hey!
Not all that much has changed really, still no proper words, still not much understanding etc, and it’s frustrating to me as I feel like it’s somehow my fault! I feel defeated as we do try to bring him on with his instructions/words etc but it doesn’t seem to work. I think he struggles with fine motor as well as he won’t hold a pen/thread laces/zippers etc.

He’s dropped hours at nursery to literally an hour a day as he is tending to seek out an adult for a bit of comfort which they can’t deal with (apparently)
We started the process for ASD /SALT quite early on after joining nursery so things are in progress now for school next year.
My son still doesn’t really follow instructions, but he’ll bring you what he wants and he understands when it’s shoes on/coat on and things like that.
Definitely chat with your HV and voice your concerns as if there are any ‘issues’ (hate that word!) it will really help to get any support at a younger age. Our nursery worked with the HV to put in the referrals to SALT which took 3 months for a telephone appt, and this week we got a letter saying our ASD test referral had been accepted and we’d been placed on the waiting list we were told to make sure everything referral wise (if req) is in before they’re 3/4 else they won’t get the help they need at school.

Also deffo ask for the hearing test like you’ve said as we had this and they said his hearing is absolutely fine, so it’s something to rule out and you can focus on the next steps.

I hope that helps a little bit x

Hi,
Thank you so much. That helps a lot. That is really poor of your sons nursery, my son goes 1.5 days a week and I’m going to ring them this week and ask to increase it to 2 days. They haven’t said much more than he’s distracted, but I know what they mean. I was just annoyed that his old nursery didn’t flag anything up.
I also feel guilty thinking it’s my fault if anything does come of it. My son does not listen or respond to me at all if I talk, but as soon as I sing a song he is all smiles and laughing. It just baffles me. Glad you got the referral and I hope it doesn’t take too long so it’s sorted before he starts school. Xx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Yes. Nursery obviously don’t want to commit to “diagnosing” (not that they can) but they don’t have the authority to make a medical referral either.

Thanks. When I rang my docs up for a development check they said they don’t do them. But if I ask for an Autism referral they should do it ?

 

[lookwhatthecatdraggedin1]

Has anyone had a new baby and their ASD toddler has taken no notice of them, like the baby doesn’t exist? I thought it might be because it’s all new to them but baby is 3 months old now and still no notice. I know it’s not the end of the world on the grand scheme of things but it makes me said I don’t have any pictures of them close together.

My little boy was 2 when his sister was born and he didn’t really warm to her for a good 5/6 months, definitely more when she got out of the newborn stage and he clearly found her abit more entertaining

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Ah yes, our nursery has been really helpful too. I would definately go to the GP and ask for a referral, or the HV. Glad he has improved, mine has too since the HV check, but he’s still far from what he should on the questionnaire so I will still push for a referral seeing as the waiting lists are so long x

My HV has been shocking. I know they are busy but she just palmed me off saying he needs more time. When I told her about the docs referral she said they can’t actually do it. So who does then?? Apps were Always over the phone. And she said they are taking a step back cos nursery have got things in place already

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Does anyone ever look at friends toddlers who are ‘developing typically’ and get sad/jealous at what life could have been like for themselves if their child didn’t have ASD?
I feel so bad when I do this but I can’t stop and want to stop, I know it doesn’t change anything and I know ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ but it doesn’t stop me getting sad.
We’re not long into the journey of getting a diagnosis so hoping I’m just going through the motions and these feelings will be temporary, would help if I had other friends who had ASD children.

What is it specifically if any ?
All kids are different and yours will be able to do things theirs can’t as well it works both ways! Don’t be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you want what’s best for your child.

 

[Livelife01]

Looks like I have all this to come. My boy loves the French speaking parts of his books we have that speak in both English and French. Heard him singing along to the French tune the other day

 

[lookwhatthecatdraggedin1]

He had his first settling in session this morning and although he whinged a bit (he was shattered as well) he was fine, the nursery were so lovely and said they have a few kids that don’t talk his age. He still puts toys in his mouth out of habit so they are going to get him his own toy to chew on if he wants whilst he’s there. Definitely put my mind at ease!!

Hi, Ive only just come across this thread but I was just as worried when my little boy started nursery. He’s 2 an a half doesn’t speak and has a lot of autistic traits, the nursery have been fantastic and he’s come on a lot in terms of babbling / eye contact / communicating in what his needs are without speaking and also interacting with children which he used to cower in a corner when kids would come near. He will do amazing and you’ll notice a real difference in him, hope everything goes okay xx

 

[Livelife01]

Hi everyone, has anyone got an EHCP for their little ones that are also non verbal/speech delay? Do they have SLT at school?
We’ve just had our draft EHCP so just wondered about SLT facilities at school. X

 

[Livelife01]

Your a amazing mum My little boy is 3, before he started nursery he didn’t respond to his name, he didn’t communicate atall and he had 0 understanding. He now, 98% of the time, responds to his name and he has found his own way to communicate as he doesn’t speak yet Nursery really does help them and hopefully you’ll see a big improvement over time. The health visitor will really help you too and will get the ball rolling if she has the concerns

thank you So glad your son has found his feet at nursery. This is a new nursery for my boy and he started in October; but he’s actually been in a nursery since 10 months old, albeit only a few sessions a week.
I’m hoping the few extra hours from next week will help Xx

 

[Livelife01]

Apologies for the mega long read !!
My son is just turned 3 and starting nursery in a few weeks. Most of his life so far has been lockdowns so has been pretty sheltered sadly. I’m just after some support and advice hopefully as Im worried there’s something wrong with him.

Doesn’t talk
Rarely understands instructions
Sometimes doesn’t respond to his name
Doesn’t clap or wave
Doesn’t really play with toys/games and prefers to do things alone
Flaps his arms a lot, likes to spin round
Occasionally lines up cars etc (not very often at all)
He hand leads when he wants something

But then I flip it in my head and think there’s loads of ‘signs’ that don’t apply to him, he’s super loving, fine around other people/kids, has no eye contact issues, if he wants a drink he’ll bring me his cup etc. I read online (silly I know) and my only concern is some articles say literally everything and anything is an autism ‘red flag’ (hate that phrase) sign.

Hi, I hope you don’t mind me asking but how are things with your son now? My son was two in august and his nursery has just said he is very distracted and it’s made me realise he doesn’t respond at all to me or respond to his name (at all!) or follow instructions. I feel like he has regressed a little from a few months ago, he has started a new nursery and I have had a new baby, his old nursery did not flag anything up.
He also has a lot of signs that doesn’t apply to him, his HV check isn’t until January so I’m sure she’ll say whether or not he needs a referral. I had speech delay when I was younger and I will ask for a hearing test to rule it out even though I am sure he can hear me.
Thank you x

 

[Livelife01]

Has anyone with an EHCP deferred their child a year for school? I’ve been told this morning that our LA have said 100% mainstream is suitable for my son. He’s non verbal, still in nappies, not independent etc etc you know the drill. He’s 4 in august.
We chose a mainstream school with a resourced provision attached, and the sendco from the school has said he would be more suited there than the mainstream. So it is going back to panel in the next few weeks.
If we defer, will the EHCP cover his nursery fees considering there isn’t a suitable setting for him?
I’ve emailed back today to say I would only be happy with full time mainstream if he was allocated a 1:1 100%. In his EHCP it states he needs 1:1 and small group intervention so I’m really shocked the LA has done this.
Thanks 🥹 xx