Anxiety help

lozzapaloozza · Feb 14, 2021

GamerLlama87 said:
Hi all, I'm not a big poster here but I'm struggling tonight not even sure what I want to ask or if I want advice so I guess it is more of a vent.

So basically, I've suffered with anxiety for my whole life as long as I can remember. But due to it being belittled and brushed off from childhood by my father and my ex partner (I lived with my father til age 16 then my ex from 16-27), I honestly never really recognised my feelings as anxiety until around 5 years ago (I'm 32 now). My whole life, all I've been told is "just don't worry, you're fine, don't be silly, don't be daft, you're being ridiculous". About EVERYTHING. And my father always made me feel like everything I do has to be PERFECT and asking for help is a weakness. For example, as a kid, I couldn't ask him to help with spelling, he'd tell me that I know where the dictionary is. So I've always been scared to ask for help, or felt like I shouldn't ask for help because I should be able to do everything myself.

On top of all this, I also had a miscarriage last month which really shook me, plus a scan found other health issues in that area which will require surgery. My mind is going crazy every single day after this past month, as well as general Covid life affecting everything for the past year.

I've been off sick from work for 3 weeks and am due to go back tomorrow and I'm shitting myself. My work think very highly of me, not trying to toot my horn, but I know my manager likes me and thinks I'm a good worker (I'm an admin in a university clinical trials unit).

But I know that in the past couple of months, my performance has slipped a bit and I'm so scared I may have forgotten to do things or left a job too long by putting it off, and scared I'll get some sort of disciplinary tomorrow or something. I'm not sure anxiety is a reason to explain poor performance and slipping up.. it seems like a daft excuse and not good enough.

First of all, hello and welcome

Thank you so much for telling us your story. You’re not alone in your anxiety, so many people and many of us here also feel the same, and have also felt like you. Not to make it about me but I know how you feel in terms of family understanding. Not that mine ever made comments ect, but I just never felt like they would understand mental health, the old “you’ll be fine” bla bla. Imagine that, telling someone with anxiety they’ll be fine, we’re cured! What you’re doing now is kind of, I guess, asking for help and that’s amazing and something to be proud of! When you’ve grown up feeling a type of way for so long you don’t sometimes realise that you are suffering, you just see it as normal!

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and other health issues you are dealing with, it’s no wonder you are feeling this way, it’s completely normal, especially during a pandemic! Just shows you are stronger than you know! Have you considered counselling/therapy? You are greiving aswell, and must put yourself and your health first. You deserve to feel better and to be happy!

As for your job, you’re doing amazing there it seems! And you can toot your own horn! You know you’re good at it so be proud! You never know work might help bring back some form of routine, normality and help keep your mind distracted. Is there anyone there you can talk too? It’s normal to feel anxious and doubt yourself after being off for so long, everyone I know says they feel the same when being off, it’s like being off sick one day at school and the next day you feel left out and that you’ve missed everything. Right now there’s nothing you can do to change what will happen tomorrow. It’s hard to do but when you start to have these thoughts, ask yourself “Is there anything I can do right in this moment to change what will happen tomorrow?” If the answers no, save those worries for tommorow, you may even forget what those worries were!

Just know there is help out there if you need it. And this thread is always here if you need to vent. Good luck tomorrow, you’ll smash it!

GamerLlama87 · Feb 14, 2021

lozzapaloozza said:
First of all, hello and welcome

Thank you so much for telling us your story. You’re not alone in your anxiety, so many people and many of us here also feel the same, and have also felt like you. Not to make it about me but I know how you feel in terms of family understanding. Not that mine ever made comments ect, but I just never felt like they would understand mental health, the old “you’ll be fine” bla bla. Imagine that, telling someone with anxiety they’ll be fine, we’re cured! What you’re doing now is kind of, I guess, asking for help and that’s amazing and something to be proud of! When you’ve grown up feeling a type of way for so long you don’t sometimes realise that you are suffering, you just see it as normal!

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and other health issues you are dealing with, it’s no wonder you are feeling this way, it’s completely normal, especially during a pandemic! Just shows you are stronger than you know! Have you considered counselling/therapy? You are greiving aswell, and must put yourself and your health first. You deserve to feel better and to be happy!

As for your job, you’re doing amazing there it seems! And you can toot your own horn! You know you’re good at it so be proud! You never know work might help bring back some form of routine, normality and help keep your mind distracted. Is there anyone there you can talk too? It’s normal to feel anxious and doubt yourself after being off for so long, everyone I know says they feel the same when being off, it’s like being off sick one day at school and the next day you feel left out and that you’ve missed everything. Right now there’s nothing you can do to change what will happen tomorrow. It’s hard to do but when you start to have these thoughts, ask yourself “Is there anything I can do right in this moment to change what will happen tomorrow?” If the answers no, save those worries for tommorow, you may even forget what those worries were!

Just know there is help out there if you need it. And this thread is always here if you need to vent. Good luck tomorrow, you’ll smash it!

Aw this is such a lovely message, thank you

I have thought about counselling or something, I'm just not sure how to go about it. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors about it last week, spilled my heart out and cried and all sorts, and all the doctor did was chuck me some Propranolol and told me it's probably hormones

I'm just worried I'll tell my manager about the anxiety tomorrow (she knows I suffer with it, just not the extent) and feel like she'll tell me that's no excuse for not doing my job to the top standard she'd expect I can't sleep I'm so nervous about it tonight. Mehhhh

lozzapaloozza · Feb 14, 2021

GamerLlama87 said:
Aw this is such a lovely message, thank you

I have thought about counselling or something, I'm just not sure how to go about it. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors about it last week, spilled my heart out and cried and all sorts, and all the doctor did was chuck me some Propranolol and told me it's probably hormones

I'm just worried I'll tell my manager about the anxiety tomorrow (she knows I suffer with it, just not the extent) and feel like she'll tell me that's no excuse for not doing my job to the top standard she'd expect I can't sleep I'm so nervous about it tonight. Mehhhh

You’re so welcome

Ugh what a nob. I remember the first time I went the GP was horrible and useless (a man). I went a second time and the lady was so lovely it made me cry! She gave me the same to try first and then Sertraline, then counselling. I would make an appointment again to say you want counselling and don’t want to go down the medication route. I told my GP the same. You may have to be put on the waiting list but I’m sure I waited less than a month. Don’t be fobbed off!

I wouldn’t think about she thinks, you won’t know until that very moment so try not to worry about something that might not happen and might be/might not be said. She also has a duty of care to you, and given you’ve been great so far I don’t think she would be negative. Anxiety is much harder at night, there’s no distractions, it’s dark and the mind wanders. A few things I do to try stop it:

1. Write down all your worries in a notebook, sometimes the physical action of writing them down helps get the thoughts out of your head
2. It sounds silly, but it works for me! I always imagine this huge pinboard in my mind with all the worries ect I have pinned onto it. I then imagine taking each one off, one by one. And tell myself it’s time to sleep, not worry about xyz, until the board is clear!
3. Imagine your worries are on a train coming into the platform, you can chose to get on the train with them, or you can let the train go and watch it fade into the distance, taking your worries away with it
4. Just doing something as simple as, all girls names from A-Z. It gets so boring you fall asleep

Some of them sound daft but I’ve been using them for years. You have to practice them and stick with it but now for me the worries literally fly out of my mind! Hope this helps! Xxx

Cupcakeapple · Feb 16, 2021

Hi guys. Does any body know if you can get mediciation for social anxiety particularly?

andiooop · Feb 16, 2021

Hello fellow anxiety sufferers. I too have severe anxiety. Have been to therapy before and tried sertraline and venlafaxine and I did not like either, both made me feel so awful. I know you have to ride the wave with these things but tried both for weeks. I don’t usually take meds anymore but I always have some Diazepam in small quantities for emergencies and big panic attacks. I personally have found therapy and learning my own coping mechanisms most helpful. Due to lockdown and my dad passing away, I am going back to therapy as I feel I have new triggers and my doctor has suggested to try propranolol to manage the physical symptoms (I get extremely agitated and physically sick) since I’m not keen on the other types of meds so will see how therapy goes and take it from there.

Anxiety is different for everyone and so is the treatment but I hope you can all keep fighting through this and find something that will help. You are all strong beautiful capable people and it’s nice to read this thread and know I’m not alone.

georgiecait · Nov 26, 2021

Hi everyone I hope you're all doing well as we're going into the festive season.

I get quite physical bad stomach/IBS symptoms with my anxiety, can anyone recommend tips to calm it down? Herbal teas, hot water bottle, things like that.

Thanks!

DCICassieStuart · Nov 26, 2021

georgiecait said:
Hi everyone I hope you're all doing well as we're going into the festive season.

I get quite physical bad stomach/IBS symptoms with my anxiety, can anyone recommend tips to calm it down? Herbal teas, hot water bottle, things like that.

Thanks!

Mint tea is good to settle your stomach.

Prince fan 1999 · Nov 26, 2021

georgiecait said:
Hi everyone I hope you're all doing well as we're going into the festive season.

I get quite physical bad stomach/IBS symptoms with my anxiety, can anyone recommend tips to calm it down? Herbal teas, hot water bottle, things like that.

Thanks!

I get the dodgy tummy too. Anxiety really bad at the moment as daughter is getting bullied at school and the mum is unbelievable Also triggering for me as I was bullied at the same age

georgiecait · Nov 29, 2021

Prince fan 1999 said:
I get the dodgy tummy too. Anxiety really bad at the moment as daughter is getting bullied at school and the mum is unbelievable Also triggering for me as I was bullied at the same age

So sorry to hear that, seems like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree there. I hope you and your daughter are rid of them soon

Bobbleowl90 · Dec 2, 2021

Has anybody tried CBD gummies for anxiety?

TheBetterHalf · Dec 5, 2021

Bobbleowl90 said:
Has anybody tried CBD gummies for anxiety?

Have tried a few different varieties but none have worked for me. Frustrating as I’ve heard so many good things about them

Bananabadger · Dec 20, 2021

Hi all, just wondering if there's anyone else out there who might welcome a bit of an anxiety thread and mutual cheerleading over Christmas. I know mine is sky high right now!

Suzesnooze · Dec 20, 2021

Bananabadger said:
Hi all, just wondering if there's anyone else out there who might welcome a bit of an anxiety thread and mutual cheerleading over Christmas. I know mine is sky high right now!

I would say just use this thread which is titled 'anxiety'. No need to set up another one.

Bananabadger · Dec 20, 2021

Sorry, I put that badly! I didn't intend to start a new thread, just looking to give & receive a bit of support over Christmas on a quiet thread.

ChampagneBox · Dec 20, 2021

Good idea! I’m working all week from home and my boyfriend who’s away 90% of the year is back for Christmas and the change in routine is making me feel so physically ill and unsettled Does change make anyone else feel sick?

Suzesnooze · Dec 20, 2021

Bananabadger said:
Sorry, I put that badly! I didn't intend to start a new thread, just looking to give & receive a bit of support over Christmas on a quiet thread.

There's these threads if they're of any help?

Mental health safe space (for support and sharing)

I wanted to create a thread for people to share what they might be struggling with and for peer to peer support to help provide advice/ a listening ear and coping techniques. I recently suffered a mental health crisis, it can feel very lonely and sometimes a kind stranger offering reassurance...

tattle.life

Anxiety around christmas support thread - financial, family situations etc.

Is anyone else worried about Christmas this year? My money situation has changed so I can’t buy my children a lot and it’s making me really worry, I know it’s not about the gifts but I don’t want them to feel let down. I feel like a failure to be honest 😣

tattle.life

Bananabadger · Dec 20, 2021

Suzesnooze said:
There's these threads if they're of any help?

Mental health safe space (for support and sharing)

I wanted to create a thread for people to share what they might be struggling with and for peer to peer support to help provide advice/ a listening ear and coping techniques. I recently suffered a mental health crisis, it can feel very lonely and sometimes a kind stranger offering reassurance...

tattle.life

Anxiety around christmas support thread - financial, family situations etc.

Is anyone else worried about Christmas this year? My money situation has changed so I can’t buy my children a lot and it’s making me really worry, I know it’s not about the gifts but I don’t want them to feel let down. I feel like a failure to be honest 😣

tattle.life

Thanks, will check them out!

ChampagneBox said:
Good idea! I’m working all week from home and my boyfriend who’s away 90% of the year is back for Christmas and the change in routine is making me feel so physically ill and unsettled Does change make anyone else feel sick?

Ugh, yes! I feel like lots of people have a particular symptom which their body gravitates to under stress, and mine is definitely stomach/nausea type stuff. It's so unsettling, isn't it? I feel like the build-up goes on for so long that I'm exhausted before it starts. We are going to stay with relatives and that's very stressful.

ChampagneBox · Dec 20, 2021

Bananabadger said:
Thanks, will check them out!

Ugh, yes! I feel like lots of people have a particular symptom which their body gravitates to under stress, and mine is definitely stomach/nausea type stuff. It's so unsettling, isn't it? I feel like the build-up goes on for so long that I'm exhausted before it starts. We are going to stay with relatives and that's very stressful.

Without knowing your situation things often seem worse in our heads! I hope it’s okay for you!

Bananabadger · Dec 20, 2021

You’re right, they do! With me, it’s like I ruminate on (a) bad things which have happened in the past and (b) bad things which MIGHT happen, both so vividly it’s like I put myself through them. Not helpful. How are you doing at the moment?

ChampagneBox · Dec 21, 2021

Bananabadger said:
You’re right, they do! With me, it’s like I ruminate on (a) bad things which have happened in the past and (b) bad things which MIGHT happen, both so vividly it’s like I put myself through them. Not helpful. How are you doing at the moment?

I hear you! I do exactly the same, fixating on things (mainly health) that have happened in the past, eg I had a boyfriend who’s dad smoked like a chimney and I spent many evenings at his house for a year and a half breathing it all in
I have a few health things I’m worried about atm but I feel a bit better since being on citalopram, just trying to focus on getting Christmas done atm. Do you take medication or anything?

Anxiety help

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