Anxiety about childbirth tips

[ajm93]

I loved my hypnobirthing classes and the whole theory of it but when the contractions started I just forgot everything and just did what my body told me to do. Anytime I heard "listen to your body" before I was in labour i just thought...yeah that will not happen...but it did. Instincts just kick in. Stay calm and you CAN do it
I actually cannot wait to do it again. As someone already said, it's the most amazing experience, and my baby got stuck resulting in forceps and an episiotomy without any pain relief so it's not like my labour was a walk in the park. I still (as strange as it sounds) enjoyed every minute and when the doctor asked me the next day would I do it again I said yes of course, he said usually thr morning after a birth he gets told no!
But good luck and relax and enjoy. Its magical and the start of a fantastic new chapter.
Im broody now

Oh mine ended in a forceps delivery and episiotomy too but up until that point I strangely enjoyed my labour. I was induced which apparently makes it more painful (but it’s the only time I’ve had a baby so I have nothing else to compare it to) and straight after my baby was born I looked at my boyfriend and said “never again” but four weeks on I keep thinking how much I would love to do it all again .

It’s one of the most amazing experiences you’ll ever have @clt1992! You’ll surprise yourself with how well you will cope. I agree with what someone else said about finding something in the room to focus on through contractions. Plenty of deep, calm breaths and try and stay as relaxed as possible. Best of luck! X

 

[Flossy2019]

Its not even that bad you know. I was anxious my whole pregnancy but once you are actually in labour its not as bad as you think. Take the drugs they offer dont try and be brave if you are struggling take the epidural take the gas and air i was induced it was horrible i was fed up of midwives sticking their hands up me like someone said leave your dignity at the door. I had forceps delivery dont even remember having epidural i was that out of it dont worry and just fight through the pain. Half way through i was crying saying i couldnt do it and begged for a c section but they ignored me obviously. You will be fine. Recovery is worse best of luck xx

 

[imaginedragon83]

I remember my midwife telling me the point where you really feel you cant go on is "transition" and it's the worst bit and once you get through that you're nearing the end...I'm not sure I believed her but afterwards looking back i could pinpoint when transition started and ended. And it didnt last long, for me at least

 

[onmylunchbreak]

Hypnobirthing helped me massively, and I had water births. Follow your instincts, if you get in the pool and it doesn’t feel good, get out. If you want to move about, do so. During labour I go very quiet, and like to be left alone to get on with it. That’s why I had water births, I liked the space and privacy being in the pool gives you. I found getting through the contractions fine, just need to keep calm and stay on top of your breathing. The worst bit is the crowning, which funnily enough nobody talks about. I won’t lie that HURTS in my experience, although I didn’t even have gas with mine so that may help. The burning doesn’t last more than a few minutes. As soon as it’s over and you have your baby, it’s worth every second. I loved the process of birthing.

 

[BettyCrocker]

You will be fine. Honestly, just try to put it to the back of your mind for now, there’s no point worrying about it so just try to enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy.

I’d say to take it as it comes on the day, don’t try to plan it or have your heart set on particular things because it just adds unnecessary pressure.
Give in to what your body wants to do, yes there is pain involved but it’s not as bad as you expect and it’s unlike anything you will have ever felt before. If you need pain relief then just ask for it.
i would recommend a birthing pool if this is an option, works wonderfully!

all the best xx

 

[Sven]

Just remember you can do it!! You’re made for it. Hypnobirthing is great even if you end up needing intervention. Keep calm, remember the end goal

 

[Suzesnooze]

I found my first childs birth the easiest as you don't know what's coming or what to expect! I was more scared with subsequent births as I knew what to expect!

I went to relaxation classes with my first which taught how to breath through the contractions. That really helped me. I stayed very calm, I didn't make any noise or scream or whatever. I also walked about a lot and would go and sit on the toilet when I had a contraction (i don't know why!). I was induced with my first which apparently makes contractions more painful. I didn't have any pain relief, not even gas and air but I did have to have forceps and ventouse. The recovery from that was painful.

Good luck!

 

[Web30]

Once it happens your to busy being in the moment to be scared about it. At least I was, I was terrified of giving birth but it ended up being the easiest thing iv ever done, even fell asleep

 

[ewdavid]

Just want to say thank you for this thread! Have literally cried every day this last week because I’m so terrified of the what ifs. I’m 36 weeks And a first time mum reading more positive stories is SO helpful!

One thing I have learned throughout this pregnancy is that people bloody love to say things that make you feel like tit, show off about how traumatic and long their labour was and generally just come out with a lot of inappropriate advice/comments.

I can’t wait to meet our baby but the waiting game is hard! X

 

[BettyCrocker]

Just want to say thank you for this thread! Have literally cried every day this last week because I’m so terrified of the what ifs. I’m 36 weeks And a first time mum reading more positive stories is SO helpful!

One thing I have learned throughout this pregnancy is that people bloody love to say things that make you feel like tit, show off about how traumatic and long their labour was and generally just come out with a lot of inappropriate advice/comments.

I can’t wait to meet our baby but the waiting game is hard! X

Yeah, people love to tell you the worst stuff but honestly it’s not as bad as you expect. The surprise for me was the location of the pain, it was all up my bum!!! The only way I can describe it was like someone was trying to forcefully push a bowling ball up my bum!!! Weird. But it was totally manageable and I didn’t have any pain relief so

 

[Naataaliiee]

I was terrified as during my entire pregnancy, people had just told me their own childbirthing horror stories. I’d go as far as saying I had a mild phobia, the thought of it freaked me out and i’m a ‘fainter’ when it comes to blood and gore.
I did hyypnobirthing during my pregnancy and my birth plan was to be in water, kneeling, just using gas and air. My biggest piece of advice would be don’t be scared if things don’t go to your ‘plan’. In fact, only plan to deliver your baby safely. My nightmares came true and I ended up being induced at 41+4 and didn’t deliver until 41+6. I had a long 3 days of sweeps, gels, being stuck on the ward in labour with no pain relief as there was no room up in delivery.... When I did get to delivery I was bed bound, strapped up to monitors and drips and stuck lying on my left for 10 hours as the baby’s heart rate would drop when I moved any other way. They had to stop my contractions worsening as the baby wasn’t responding well so I pushed for 2 hours, most of the time when my body wasn’t even contracting. And do you know what? I genuinely loved it. Loved the whole experience. I felt like Wonder Woman. The female body is incredible. I can’t believe how well I did with the pain and I’d do it all again in a heart beat. It is the single most amazing thing i’ve ever done in my life, and ever will do. Your body just knows what to do; just let it do its thing and go along with it.
Don’t make any decisions about pain relief, birthing positions etc beforehand as when it’s your first baby you don’t know what to expect or what will work for you, and then if you don’t stick to it you’ll set yourself up to think negatively and beat yourself up.
The whole experience of feeling your baby being born and then holding them for the first time is the most amazing feeling in the entire world. Nothing will ever, ever beat it. I miss being pregnant, and miss the whole birthing experience. Just try to enjoy it, even when it hurts, remember it is your body doing something INCREDIBLE!
One thing I did which did help was counting and picturing the numbers on a line in my head, if that makes sense. When I was contracting or pushing, I’d push for say 5 seconds. I could ‘see’ by the time I got to 5 it’d be over for another however long. I couldn’t believe i’d been pushing for 2 hours and I swear it was because I was so focused on counting!

Ps the gas and air is all that people make it out to be and more Enjoy it!

 

[PepperAnn]

Hypnobirthing often works really well. But also have in the back of your mind that if that isn’t cutting it, you aren’t going to get a medal for doing it drug free so analgesia is an option. The more relaxed you are, the better your hormonal response will be, and therefor the smoother labour will be. Oxytocin (the hormone that causes contractions) is inhibited by adrenaline. So if that means that at the time you feel you need an epidural or gas and air, go with it. Don’t be bullied into thinking that the only way of giving birth properly is drug free.

I say this as a midwife whose heart breaks for the women I see postnatally who are giving themselves a really hard time because they ‘failed’. An epidural isn’t failing, a c section isn’t failing, a forceps delivery isn’t failing, pethidine isn’t failing.

 

[Suzesnooze]

Hypnobirthing often works really well. But also have in the back of your mind that if that isn’t cutting it, you aren’t going to get a medal for doing it drug free so analgesia is an option. The more relaxed you are, the better your hormonal response will be, and therefor the smoother labour will be. Oxytocin (the hormone that causes contractions) is inhibited by adrenaline. So if that means that at the time you feel you need an epidural or gas and air, go with it. Don’t be bullied into thinking that the only way of giving birth properly is drug free.

I say this as a midwife whose heart breaks for the women I see postnatally who are giving themselves a really hard time because they ‘failed’. An epidural isn’t failing, a c section isn’t failing, a forceps delivery isn’t failing, pethidine isn’t failing.

I deeply regretted a midwife talking me into pethidine with my second child. It made me feel out of it as if I was drunk. I wish I had stayed off drugs same way I did in my first birth. However, that’s not to say I think less of anyone who has pain relief it’s just it didn’t agree with me in fact I didn’t even like gas and air, hated the taste it left in my mouth !

 

[jencmorris]

I’ve just reached my third trimester and I’m so excited I only have a few weeks left to meet my baby.

However, it’s just hitting me the reality that I am going to have to get through labour first. Any tips on how to stay calm?

In all honesty you just get through it. I was absolutely terrified until i was induced but once i was in hospital i actually calmed down and got through it! Ended up with a foreceps delivery (one of my fears) but in the moment you deal with it!
I was petrified of needles to and now im not.
Try relax and let your body do it!

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

The second series of The Dream podcast is about wellness and I've just listened to a brilliant episode about childbirth saying about how choice has got a bit out of hand and confusing. I thought it was really interesting.

 

[Death2unicorns]

My labour was absolutely fine, had an epidural at 4cm as I was getting put on the induction drip and midwife warned me the pain would ramp up a few notches, didn’t feel a thing after that, including the pushing stage/crowning, I look back on the experience fondly, there is different pain relief options available if you are not coping and it works well for most people, you will be fine x

 

[Sln2404]

I’ve given birth twice and would do it again in a heartbeat, it’s the most incredible experience both occasions I only had gas & air as I wanted to be able to get up and shower quickly and be ‘with’ it. But you don’t get a medal for no drugs so do what you feel is right for you x

 

[Idontcare34]

Read give birth like a feminist! Will make you feel in control and informed xx

 

[PepperAnn]

The second series of The Dream podcast is about wellness and I've just listened to a brilliant episode about childbirth saying about how choice has got a bit out of hand and confusing. I thought it was really interesting.

Ooh this sounds interesting.

 

[clt1992]

So I’m actually having a planned c section tomorrow, does anyone have any experience of this? I keep feeling a mixture of excitement and absolute nervousness and keep crying. I think it’s the waiting that’s awful!