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It sounds cliche but everyone says throw away your birthing plan as it doesn't happen that way and I think that's mainly true. Good luck xx
 
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Sugarhoney

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congratulations, I'm so envious I loved going through Labour, what an experience ! Try and walk between contractions, use a birthing ball, get some aromatherapy oils. aromatherapy really helped me, I swear it got my Labour going. Just enjoy it. You can't prepare for labour, in my opinion, any tips go out the window and your body takes over. let it and Just go with it. Hope it goes well.
 
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Flogger

Active member
Best experience ever. Makes you feel invincible. Women are awesome. Just give in and let your body do the work. It's super painful but worth it. Our bodies are designed to labour! Good luck x
 
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clt1992

Chatty Member
Hi everyone thanks for all the advice, the section was really successful and not half as bad as I thought it would be, in fact it was absolutely fine!
 
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CCS

Member
Somebody told me ' you will find strength you never knew you had' and it's so true. I also found it useful to find something in the room to focus on like a clock when you feel like it's hurts and dont forget there is always someone ready to give you a horror birth story but they got through it and so will you! Best of luck xxx
 
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clt1992

Chatty Member
I’ve just reached my third trimester and I’m so excited I only have a few weeks left to meet my baby.

However, it’s just hitting me the reality that I am going to have to get through labour first. Any tips on how to stay calm?
 
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BettyCrocker

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My due date is in Two weeks so it could happen any day now.
I’ve had some mild contractions now and everytime it happens I sort of panic. It’s a mixture of being scared of Labour but mostly it’s about what comes after and I do feel a bit guilty about not being totally excited about having a baby.
we tried for a baby and wanted it but during the whole pregnancy I haven’t felt fully excited about the prospect of becoming a mum... ugh, mum guilt already starting.

Anyway, about birth and anxiety, yes, I was anxious and I still am to some extent. However, I also know that I can not control what’s going to happen and how. I can only believe in my body and know, that even if the experience is bad, the time is limited you know? It’s not going to last forever, there will be an end. And hopefully I will then feel the joy of holding my baby in my arms.
With all the covid19 stuff going on I haven’t really felt like venturing into hypnobirthing but I guess I know the main mindset.
Try to believe in you and your body, you will know what to do and you will have a midwife there with you to guide you along.

we can do this!!!

Please don’t feel any guilt over not being exited about becoming a mum. What you are feeling is completely normal!!!! Honestly, once your baby is born, everything goes out of the window and you are starting from scratch - none of us have any idea what we are in for and you literally have to take it a day at a time and just do whatever works best for you as a family. Trust your body - but don’t dwell on it. Take medical intervention when needed or wanted. Rip up any rule book or pre-convinced ideas on how you imagine it’s all going to go and just embrace it for what it is. It’s all you can do. It’s all any of us are doing.

You will be fine Mama. Good luck xxx
 
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PepperAnn

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Hypnobirthing often works really well. But also have in the back of your mind that if that isn’t cutting it, you aren’t going to get a medal for doing it drug free so analgesia is an option. The more relaxed you are, the better your hormonal response will be, and therefor the smoother labour will be. Oxytocin (the hormone that causes contractions) is inhibited by adrenaline. So if that means that at the time you feel you need an epidural or gas and air, go with it. Don’t be bullied into thinking that the only way of giving birth properly is drug free.

I say this as a midwife whose heart breaks for the women I see postnatally who are giving themselves a really hard time because they ‘failed’. An epidural isn’t failing, a c section isn’t failing, a forceps delivery isn’t failing, pethidine isn’t failing.
 
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Caffeine Fiend

VIP Member
Hypnobirthing. I used Nataltherapy by Maggie Howell, both the tracks and the book. It helped me birth my baby at home peacefully and calmly. Can’t recommend it enough.
 
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Twinkle485

Well-known member
It’s not as painful as people say it’s honestly like when you get intense diarrhoea but stronger.
I found staying calm and just going through the motions makes it far less painful then screaming and squirming. Good luck though and if you can get in water I would highly recommend x
 
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Naataaliiee

Well-known member
I was terrified as during my entire pregnancy, people had just told me their own childbirthing horror stories. I’d go as far as saying I had a mild phobia, the thought of it freaked me out and i’m a ‘fainter’ when it comes to blood and gore.
I did hyypnobirthing during my pregnancy and my birth plan was to be in water, kneeling, just using gas and air. My biggest piece of advice would be don’t be scared if things don’t go to your ‘plan’. In fact, only plan to deliver your baby safely. My nightmares came true and I ended up being induced at 41+4 and didn’t deliver until 41+6. I had a long 3 days of sweeps, gels, being stuck on the ward in labour with no pain relief as there was no room up in delivery.... When I did get to delivery I was bed bound, strapped up to monitors and drips and stuck lying on my left for 10 hours as the baby’s heart rate would drop when I moved any other way. They had to stop my contractions worsening as the baby wasn’t responding well so I pushed for 2 hours, most of the time when my body wasn’t even contracting. And do you know what? I genuinely loved it. Loved the whole experience. I felt like Wonder Woman. The female body is incredible. I can’t believe how well I did with the pain and I’d do it all again in a heart beat. It is the single most amazing thing i’ve ever done in my life, and ever will do. Your body just knows what to do; just let it do its thing and go along with it.
Don’t make any decisions about pain relief, birthing positions etc beforehand as when it’s your first baby you don’t know what to expect or what will work for you, and then if you don’t stick to it you’ll set yourself up to think negatively and beat yourself up.
The whole experience of feeling your baby being born and then holding them for the first time is the most amazing feeling in the entire world. Nothing will ever, ever beat it. I miss being pregnant, and miss the whole birthing experience. Just try to enjoy it, even when it hurts, remember it is your body doing something INCREDIBLE!
One thing I did which did help was counting and picturing the numbers on a line in my head, if that makes sense. When I was contracting or pushing, I’d push for say 5 seconds. I could ‘see’ by the time I got to 5 it’d be over for another however long. I couldn’t believe i’d been pushing for 2 hours and I swear it was because I was so focused on counting!

Ps the gas and air is all that people make it out to be and more😂👌🏼 Enjoy it!
 
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ewdavid

Member
Just want to say thank you for this thread! Have literally cried every day this last week because I’m so terrified of the what ifs. I’m 36 weeks And a first time mum 😩😩 reading more positive stories is SO helpful!

One thing I have learned throughout this pregnancy is that people bloody love to say things that make you feel like shit, show off about how traumatic and long their labour was and generally just come out with a lot of inappropriate advice/comments.

I can’t wait to meet our baby but the waiting game is hard! X
 
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clt1992

Chatty Member
100% try not to worry about the unknown, esp when in labour the adrenaline can have the opposite effect and stop or delay your contractions. Chill! Your baby will come when he/she is ready, enjoy your time off before hand (if you have any leave). Watch that box set you haven’t got round to watching, stuff your face and take it steady. I watched every Marvel movie made and ate A LOT of cake. Two things I wish people had told me about - stock up on pain killers for the few weeks after birth (alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen) and lavender oil as it’s good for healing and Pack your bag with treats and drinks enough for during labour and on the ward!
Xx
God I wish I could stuff my face but I’m 28 weeks and get full as anything after a few mouthfuls of a meal it’s so annoying!
 
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Sugarhoney

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100% try not to worry about the unknown, esp when in labour the adrenaline can have the opposite effect and stop or delay your contractions. Chill! Your baby will come when he/she is ready, enjoy your time off before hand (if you have any leave). Watch that box set you haven’t got round to watching, stuff your face and take it steady. I watched every Marvel movie made and ate A LOT of cake. Two things I wish people had told me about - stock up on pain killers for the few weeks after birth (alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen) and lavender oil as it’s good for healing and Pack your bag with treats and drinks enough for during labour and on the ward!
Xx
 
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Web30

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Once it happens your to busy being in the moment to be scared about it. At least I was, I was terrified of giving birth but it ended up being the easiest thing iv ever done, even fell asleep 🤣
 
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jencmorris

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I’ve just reached my third trimester and I’m so excited I only have a few weeks left to meet my baby.

However, it’s just hitting me the reality that I am going to have to get through labour first. Any tips on how to stay calm?
In all honesty you just get through it. I was absolutely terrified until i was induced but once i was in hospital i actually calmed down and got through it! Ended up with a foreceps delivery (one of my fears) but in the moment you deal with it!
I was petrified of needles to and now im not.
Try relax and let your body do it!
 
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Bec3007

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I was so anxious about giving birth. It consumed my entire being for the last 6 or so weeks. First off leave your dignity at the door. I know it’s easy to say this now having given birth but trust me when I say your body takes over (or it did for me anyway). I was also active for most of my labour which apparently helps. Relax, try not to panic and breathe through contractions. It’s okay to cry, scream, accept pain relief etc, it doesn’t make you any less of a woman. You’re in control. I agree with what someone said, don’t get hung up on your birth plan because it does go out the window. In that moment all you will care about is getting your baby here safely.

Good luck! x
 
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BettyCrocker

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Just want to say thank you for this thread! Have literally cried every day this last week because I’m so terrified of the what ifs. I’m 36 weeks And a first time mum 😩😩 reading more positive stories is SO helpful!

One thing I have learned throughout this pregnancy is that people bloody love to say things that make you feel like shit, show off about how traumatic and long their labour was and generally just come out with a lot of inappropriate advice/comments.

I can’t wait to meet our baby but the waiting game is hard! X
Yeah, people love to tell you the worst stuff but honestly it’s not as bad as you expect. The surprise for me was the location of the pain, it was all up my bum!!! The only way I can describe it was like someone was trying to forcefully push a bowling ball up my bum!!! Weird. But it was totally manageable and I didn’t have any pain relief so 🤷🏼‍♀️
 
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ajm93

Member
I loved my hypnobirthing classes and the whole theory of it but when the contractions started I just forgot everything and just did what my body told me to do. Anytime I heard "listen to your body" before I was in labour i just thought...yeah that will not happen...but it did. Instincts just kick in. Stay calm and you CAN do it
I actually cannot wait to do it again. As someone already said, it's the most amazing experience, and my baby got stuck resulting in forceps and an episiotomy without any pain relief so it's not like my labour was a walk in the park. I still (as strange as it sounds) enjoyed every minute and when the doctor asked me the next day would I do it again I said yes of course, he said usually thr morning after a birth he gets told no!
But good luck and relax and enjoy. Its magical and the start of a fantastic new chapter.
Im broody now 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
Oh mine ended in a forceps delivery and episiotomy too but up until that point I strangely enjoyed my labour. I was induced which apparently makes it more painful (but it’s the only time I’ve had a baby so I have nothing else to compare it to) and straight after my baby was born I looked at my boyfriend and said “never again” but four weeks on I keep thinking how much I would love to do it all again 🤦🏻‍♀️😂.

It’s one of the most amazing experiences you’ll ever have @clt1992! You’ll surprise yourself with how well you will cope. I agree with what someone else said about finding something in the room to focus on through contractions. Plenty of deep, calm breaths and try and stay as relaxed as possible. Best of luck! X
 
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