Thank you, Joanna. This is gold to me as half of a couple that has struggled with fertility. Bless you for bringing up this point.
@rose34 I am from a Mediterranean migrant culture and please understand how absolutely painful such misinformation about fertility is for people like myself and couples who struggle to conceive. Yes, we get up and down looks until somebody loses patience and blurts out, "Are you pregnant?" or "When are you having children?".
Ladies, please read and take note of the following: fertility at any age under 35 is no guarantee. It is considered normal for a couple to take UP TO ONE YEAR to conceive. Following that, medical diagnosis and observations commence. Some women think they ovulate, but they don't, even if they have normal periods. Some have PCOS. Some women simply cannot carry a baby without miscarriage. Some women have unpredictable periods so they can't tell when they are ovulating. Some men are infertile. They may have a low sperm count which makes it hard to conceive. Some (usually smokers) have low motility, which means that sperm are slow swimmers and die before reaching the egg. Some sperm can't swim at all. Some men have a morphology issue. That means they have abnormally formed sperm , which can't swim because their tails are too short. They may have a long tail and small head which means little essential fertilising data and ingredients. Th y may have two heads and one tail, which means they can form a feotus with two DNAs and that's abnormal. They may have one head and two tails which hinder its ability to swim. They may have a zinc deficiency which makes a coating around the sperm so they coagulate and can't swim. There are other reasons for male infertility.
Some people need fertility medication to conceive, some need IUI and some need IVF, and that is even before reaching 35 when a woman's fertility rapidly declines. Some couples take multiple rounds of IVF to conceive, and some never successful conceive or get to full term. Some could experience secondary infertility where they can not conceive naturally as they did the first time.
It is extremely stressful for a couple to even have battle to out amongst themselves in private as to who is the infertile one. Of course, the women gets the blame as the men do no wish to question their Verity and masculinity.
In the 1930s, it was expected a male's normal sperm count be 30m to 50m sperm for volume.nowadays, such a level is considered 'Super fertile".
Woman choose to have children later these days so that means egg freezing, sperm freezing. But a high miscarriage rate and down before of they again.
Our parents would tell us if we ever got pregnant before we were married they would disown us, but what they never said that how hard it was to get pregnant in the first place. They had total fertility ignorance/complacency and fertility entitlement. A lot of it came from the fact that they married at a younger age when their fertility was at its peak. Past generations also had healthier diets with less chemicals, preservatives and pesticides involved in food production. They were also thinner than the average person these days. The bottom lines is, can't all conceive. In fact, fertility rates for both males and females, particularly in the west are declining. Please don't assume every couple can have children. Likewise, please don't assume that all couples want children. The sooner people can have a more modern and informed view of fertility, the sooner than can stop crucifying people with insensitive comments. The fact is that even without lame comments from extended family and parents, it is hard enough for a marriage to survive the emotional and financial exhaustion of the infertility and assisted reproduction journey.
Just saying. Some things we can't control.
