Am i wrong for this?

[Definitelyme]

I think it’s weird to invite yourself along on anybody’s holiday, never mind if it’s a couple or not. I would never just invite myself along/ask could I go along on a friend’s holiday. If they wanted you there they’d have invited you, surely?

Peculiar business. I imagine your OH felt put on the spot, which is why he didn’t say no straight away.

 

[Raininvain]

Maybe he was mistaken and thought a few people were going, which then it would be o.k to ask.
Otherwise who would want to go on holiday with a couple if you are a single person?, no one in their right mind.
What a gooseberry.

 

[Deepsigh2018]

I would have said no too it would just be a weird awkward dynamic on the holiday. I'm confused why his friend would even want to be the third wheel on your holiday.

 

[uglybettybetty]

It would be weird the first time and any time after that! A day out, fine, but a whole holiday? Weird and awkward!

Very! Really glad I shared it here as I was feeling like a bitch for even saying no, but it would’ve been really awkward and not only that but I feel as though something special like that should only be between my partner and I..... I think perhaps it’s just ignorance on the friends part. He’s quite a dopey lad

 

[skintsocks]

It is a strange situation. He probably hasn't thought it through and realised it's your first couple break. Perhaps suggest something else the three of you can do at another time so that they aren't upset, and you still get your time together.

 

[HowlOwl]

I have actually been on holiday with a couple. I think the boyfriend felt sorry for me. I lived in a shared house where his girlfriend also lived. It was all pretty awkward to be honest, I wish I’d said no. His girlfriend definitely resented me being there.

Sorry, I don’t know if that’s of any help for your situation! - but that’s how it felt from the perception of a gooseberry.

 

[uglybettybetty]

It’s weird and inappropriate that this friend even asked.

it’s weird that your boyfriend didn’t tell him to jog on when he asked.

its weird that your boyfriend even brought it up with you.

It’s all just very weird.
I feel like I have deja vu....

I wouldn’t really say it’s weird that my partner brought it up with me. It’s quite healthy for a couple to talk about things like this. I feel happy that he did. It shows he’s comfortable with me. We frequently talk about things. I’m quite happy in the fact that we have a very comfortable relationship with great communication and we both talk about nearly everything. So it doesn’t seem weird to me because that’s my idea of perfect truthfully

Perhaps my partner thought his close friend (who is single and has never had a girlfriend before) might be feeling lonely/depressed. As he sometimes tends to sound it. Many people during this pandemic would probably relate to that. I myself don’t find it as weird in a sinister way. Also, I’m guessing you’ve experienced this before? The (Deja vu), Please do share your experience if you’re comfortable you’re obviously a very wise member of tattle and I’d greatly appreciate hearing your experience on this type of thing x

You could something as a group when lockdown has finished, not just the three of you. Invite some other friends etc as well. Also its for your boyfriend to be doing things with him really as its his friend. How old is he? Rather strange for a grown man wanting to be a tag along.

I believe the friend is 22. So still quite young I guess. I don’t really think he thought it through. I feel quite bad for him now as apparently he suffers with depression and has never had a girlfriend so I thought perhaps he felt quite lonely? But even so I know that it’s still not my problem and for my first holiday with my partner I definitely don’t want anyone else there. My partner is really kind and probably didn’t want to upset him he is so precious and I’m honestly glad he’s like that instead of just saying “fuck off you can’t come” I think I’d feel worse if he said that to him!

Thank you for all your comments. I’ve been with my partner for coming up to 7 months now, I know some people thought it was weird he didn’t say anything but honestly I really think he just didn’t want to hurt his mates feelings.

I think everyone has gone through some tough times lately, I know this isn’t even a big deal compared to all the crap that’s happened last year/this year. I appreciate your responses!

 

[uglybettybetty]

It’s very very weird. The fact that the friend asked is weird but it’s also a bit odd that your boyfriend didn’t just tell him no when he asked.... all very odd.

I do agree, it’s very weird! I think perhaps my partner just didn’t want to be awkward or upset him maybe? Idk! But I think maybe the friend is quite lonely and gets down about not having a girlfriend. I would’ve been way more annoyed if my partner agreed without telling me, so I’m relieved he asked me

 

[caterday28]

No. That's a normal reaction to that request! I could understand going on holiday with another couple, but for a single person to go away with a couple... that's just weird.

 

[uglybettybetty]

Hi all! So I’ve been with my partner for around 6 months. We are really close, and actually we’re planning to go away somewhere in the UK for a getaway once lockdown eases! Now, he has a close friend who I’ve met once so far, he’s an alright guy. Found him a bit quiet and a tad bit weird but apart from that he’s an alright guy. He asked my partner if he could come with us. I found it really weird as he hasn’t got a girlfriend, so it would just be him with us two? Also considering it would be our first “holiday” together I didn’t want him coming. My partner luckily told him hed ask me first, I said I don’t want his friend to come. Afterwards I felt bad like maybe I should’ve just let him come? But then at the same time I’m glad I said what I felt! Ah! Let me know, do you think I was rude for saying I didn’t want him coming? My partner agreed and said it was weird for his friend to come with us...

Edit: I’d be totally fine if it wasn’t the first time! But it’ll be the first time me and my partner go away so I felt like it would be quite strange... any other time I’d think yeah sure! maybe I’m just antisocial but I’d rather it be just my partner and I tbh

 

[Warpaint]

I don't think I've ever known anyone that would actively want to be a gooseberry. I've tagged along with couples but only on low key nights out.

Maybe he's a You, me and Dupree fan.

 

[Lauz666]

Deffo weird

 

[Raininvain]

You could something as a group when lockdown has finished, not just the three of you. Invite some other friends etc as well. Also its for your boyfriend to be doing things with him really as its his friend. How old is he? Rather strange for a grown man wanting to be a tag along.

 

[uglybettybetty]

I think it’s weird to invite yourself along on anybody’s holiday, never mind if it’s a couple or not. I would never just invite myself along/ask could I go along on a friend’s holiday. If they wanted you there they’d have invited you, surely?

Peculiar business. I imagine your OH felt put on the spot, which is why he didn’t say no straight away.

Definitely! It’s one of those things where you feel quite mean to say “no” like that on that spot! But would be so awkward especially as we were planning to stay in quite an intimate small place near the sea. It’s not even just because it’s the first time I think I’d feel weird about it even if it wasn’t