My god that's beyond witchy in my opinion, but friendships come and go and there's nothing that you can do about it. What you can do is try not to take it personally, it's actually very very common.
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Hi, I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m going through a similar thing too with friends in a WhatsApp group and I really want to leave the group but it makes things so awkward.
It does sound like they’ve been side messaging to arrange the date in the first place which isn’t nice. If they were honest and upfront in the first place you wouldn’t have these doubts . I’m a massive overthinker too but also you do have to trust your gut instincts. It sounds like because of the rule of 6 you were the easy person to leave out which is very unfair.
It does sound like they’ve been side messaging to arrange the date in the first place which isn’t nice. If they were honest and upfront in the first place you wouldn’t have these doubts . I’m a massive overthinker too but also you do have to trust your gut instincts. It sounds like because of the rule of 6 you were the easy person to leave out which is very unfair.
You’re not overreacting. Is there one you’re closer to than the rest that you could talk to about it? It might be easier to have a chat with one rather than the whole group initially, even if it’s just to explain that you feel deliberately excluded and ask how or why it might have happened before speaking to all of them.
I’ve had the same happen. Not in lockdown but I’m the only one without kids and I’m never invited to anything because people assume I wouldn’t want to go, so effectively have been left without friends through no fault of my own. You have my sympathies as it is hurtful. Maybe a lot of them think that because you have a family life that you’ve not been lonely and if some of them are single, maybe they’ve been lonely and alone most of the time? It doesn’t excuse it. I’m sure it’s not about you personally. Maybe just send a group text and say that you feel a bit hurt and you would have liked to be invited and will always make stuff where possible and ask if anyone would like to meet up? I’m sure they just didn’t realise x
this was my exact thoughts too as it was so out of context , we hadn’t mentioned meeting up at all
I haven’t said anything to them yet but I have about 8 versions of a WhatsApp message in my phone notes .. I’ve calmed down some now and just think they should know that I was a bit hurt not to be included , if they are the lovely girls I think they are then I hope they’ll accommodate so that I can also be involved
If not , then they’re shady !
Yes , there is one who I lived with at uni and I’m much closer too . She messaged me yesterday asking if I was ok , so I think I’ll talk to her privately first before I air my concerns to the group
I’m quite a bit older than you (prob nearer your parents age!) and usually when someone who is around the age of my children starts a post with “Am I overreacting?” my answer tends to be yes.
But having read your post no, you are not overreacting at all.
What they have done is incredibly hurtful.
I agree that your friend accidentally posted to the wrong group, or perhaps she deliberately did it because she felt bad about you being left out so it was her way of letting you know without the others being mad at her. Was the friend who let it slip the one who you are closest to?
I think you should put forward the solution another poster suggested - 2 tables adjacent to each other - one with 3 people and one with 4. You‘ll be abiding by the rules but will still be able to socialise. Try suggesting that and see how they react.
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. I can still recall it happening to me 35 years ago when I went into town with my mum and saw my “friends” queueing for the cinema. They didn’t see me so when I asked them what they did at the weekend, they lied.
It’s strange how it’s like a video in my head that I can still visualise all these years later. I knew who the instigator was and eventually the others saw through her too but it still hurt that they did it.
Good luck and I hope they agree to your suggestion of splitting the tables.
But having read your post no, you are not overreacting at all.
What they have done is incredibly hurtful.
I agree that your friend accidentally posted to the wrong group, or perhaps she deliberately did it because she felt bad about you being left out so it was her way of letting you know without the others being mad at her. Was the friend who let it slip the one who you are closest to?
I think you should put forward the solution another poster suggested - 2 tables adjacent to each other - one with 3 people and one with 4. You‘ll be abiding by the rules but will still be able to socialise. Try suggesting that and see how they react.
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. I can still recall it happening to me 35 years ago when I went into town with my mum and saw my “friends” queueing for the cinema. They didn’t see me so when I asked them what they did at the weekend, they lied.
It’s strange how it’s like a video in my head that I can still visualise all these years later. I knew who the instigator was and eventually the others saw through her too but it still hurt that they did it.
Good luck and I hope they agree to your suggestion of splitting the tables.
I’d be annoyed too but I would let my silence speak for itself and distance myself for a bit.
They could have put the feelers out and asked if anyone minded skipping it before outright just not including one person.
They could have put the feelers out and asked if anyone minded skipping it before outright just not including one person.
I don’t think you are over reacting but to play devils advocate, have you previously cancelled or not been able to go because of child care? As other have said, I have a friend who constantly cancels and pulls out last minute so we no longer accommodate her and assume she won’t be there.
You say there are other reasons, what could they be? Before I had my two, I had two slightly older friends who kids at the same time. In the end our friendship fizzles because their whole world and conversations revolves around the kids which I just couldn’t relate to. I didn’t begrudge them but I just couldn’t join in. We’ve okay now but it’s not the same.
If you feel you can, call them out. Explain your hurt and that you respect the rule of 6 but why you.
You say there are other reasons, what could they be? Before I had my two, I had two slightly older friends who kids at the same time. In the end our friendship fizzles because their whole world and conversations revolves around the kids which I just couldn’t relate to. I didn’t begrudge them but I just couldn’t join in. We’ve okay now but it’s not the same.
If you feel you can, call them out. Explain your hurt and that you respect the rule of 6 but why you.
Hi, just wondered if you’ve spoken to your friends and what the outcome was? Sorry, I’m a nosey bint! 