Am I being unreasonable here? Sister's birthday

[User_name_100]

My sister and I have had a bit of a strained relationship lately.

It's her 40th and she had a massive party and didn't invite me at all, which was hurtful. We haven't fallen out over it but she knows I'm upset.

She is holding a big 40th birthday meal tonight and only invited me late last night. It's at a really expensive restaurant and I politely declined because of cost, instead offering to do something else with her tomorrow and explaining that I'm a bit strapped for money this month due to various reasons. For context a main is around £30 - £40 and of course adding drinks on top etc it'll be fairly expensive for my budget this month.

I explained I'm happy to do something else with her tomorrow and would like to see her because I have a gift and card.

She's now being very cold with me through texts and I just know she's being 'off' with me. I feel like I can't win at all.

I'm not sure how to play this? Am I being unreasonable here?

 

[Happy35]

No, not at all, you have explained it is too expensive so are not going and as you were invited last minute you couldn’t budget for it. I would just pretend you haven’t noticed she is being off with you and carry on as normal.

 

[Em_]

My sister and I have had a bit of a strained relationship lately.

It's her 40th and she had a massive party and didn't invite me at all, which was hurtful. We haven't fallen out over it but she knows I'm upset.

She is holding a big 40th birthday meal tonight and only invited me late last night. It's at a really expensive restaurant and I politely declined because of cost, instead offering to do something else with her tomorrow and explaining that I'm a bit strapped for money this month due to various reasons. For context a main is around £30 - £40 and of course adding drinks on top etc it'll be fairly expensive for my budget this month.

I explained I'm happy to do something else with her tomorrow and would like to see her because I have a gift and card.

She's now being very cold with me through texts and I just know she's being 'off' with me. I feel like I can't win at all.

I'm not sure how to play this? Am I being unreasonable here?

I honestly don't think you're being unreasonable, you've explained that you can't afford it at the moment and you've offered to do something else with her. I think your sister should be more reasonable.

You're a better person than I am, I wouldn't have offered to do a anything with her after the party and last minute invite. I wonder if she feels guilty over the way she's treated you.

 

[coconochanel]

If anyone's being unreasonable its her for not inviting you to her massive party. I wouldn't go to the meal you've explained you cant afford it and if she has the hump well thats her problem!

 

[HumphreyB]

She had a party and didn’t invite you. That pretty much sums up what her feelings are toward you. I have no idea why she asked you to dinner but it’s not because she wants you there and values her relationship with you. If she did she would have asked you to her actual party. I’m inclined to think duck her

 

[Kate1970]

Your definitely not being unreasonable! You've explained the situation etc
If you're Sister doesn't understand etc that's her problem not yours

 

[cowtastrophe]

You’re not the unreasonable one here. No-one with an ounce of reasonableness could expect you to go. It sounds like she set it up so she could be pissed off at you not going.