Age gap in a relationship?

[Raininvain]

When I was around 16,I used to spend a lot of time with my friends Aunt with my friend as well. The Aunt was in her 40s and had married a man 20 years plus older than her. Well, he ended up having strokes and loads of health problems, it threw them into financial difficulties. He was really abusive, vulgar and disgusting and thats putting it mildly.
She said to me people will say to you age doesnt matter in a relationship, when you hear that you think of me and yes it does.She eventually ran off with someone else and he went into a care home in the end. Its when they get older it matters, men generally dont live as long as women and do you want to be your partners full time carer if anything happens to them in your 40s?

 

[LavaFlake]

Totally agree @Beckyboo85 ! Especially with what the world is like now, who knows where we'll all be in 20 years. Better to enjoy the now!

 

[Suzesnooze]

My fiancé is 2 years older than me

I wouldn't consider that an age gap!

 

[Arwol1953]

Serious question; is this a "Ladies Only" thread?

 

[Pippa M]

My ex was 12 years older than me. I thought he was " the one " but he got cold feet and walked out .Long time ago.

 

[Umthalatha80]

18 years between my husband and I, we met when I was 24. He looked about 35 at the time, I never actually asked his age and found out after we got married and have been married for 16 years now. We both wanted the same things In life, a family. Because of his job, he is surrounded by people of different ages so has always had a very diverse friends group. I have always been an old soul but also have friends of varying ages... so socialising and having things in common with each other’s friends has never been an issue.

We do however have very different parenting styles and whilst we don’t always see eye to eye, he is quite happy to let me take the lead. If you are planning on a family then talk about parenting, I think if the both of us weren’t so accommodating of each other, it could have caused trouble!

 

[Readread]

Then why are all the other posts about large age gaps?

Because people with lesser age gaps haven’t posted?

 

[Hello Kitty]

The biggest age gap was 9 years but I've not really ever dated anyone younger than me. My current partner is 4 years older than me.

The 9 year age gap was fine for me but he already had children and although he said he would have kids again, I personally couldn't see it ever happening as he liked the partying lifestyle too much. We was friends before and after we was together. It was his lifestyle that put me off, not the fact he had kids or his age.

 

[coleywoley]

My husband is 8 years older than me. We met when I was 19 and he was 27, and got married when I was 22 and he was 30. We have two kids now (8 and 2), and it’s our 10th wedding anniversary in two weeks.

 

[Lindssdnil]

Update. We are still currently talking and getting to know each other I really don’t see the age as a problem as he seems to be everything I’m looking for! Is it too good to be true?!

 

[Lindssdnil]

Just wondering your thoughts on age gaps in relationships? What’s the oldest/youngest you would date? How old is too old?

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I have always gone for older men. The average age gap has been around 12 years older.

 

[rectangle]

When I was 24 my ex was 44. Loved being with an older man but it made me realise how different we were due to the age gap and how we were at different stages in our life. It really opened my eyes up. Not saying I wouldn’t do it again but I’d be more picky and would needed to suss out what they want and don’t want

 

[cakebytheocean]

Only over the past year have I dated much older than me. I'm mid 20s and my current boyfriend is late 30s but have dated guys in their 40s

 

[LavaFlake]

Update. We are still currently talking and getting to know each other I really don’t see the age as a problem as he seems to be everything I’m looking for! Is it too good to be true?!

I would personally say enjoy it and go for it - but cautiously so! Make sure you're on the same page with things you want to do over the next years if you can find that stuff out without sounding too creepy I love my older boyfriend and couldn't ever imagine dating a man my age now (late 20s). We've been together 4 years now and have a gap of 14 years.

There are a lot of benefits an older person can have (maturity, gone through their fuckboy years already, know what they want in life) but there is a risk of them being immature, having lots of baggage, things like that. Just trust your gut on the downsides and the vibes you get from that.

 

[Suzesnooze]

Update. We are still currently talking and getting to know each other I really don’t see the age as a problem as he seems to be everything I’m looking for! Is it too good to be true?!

I have a friend in his early 50's who has never married or had kids. He looks young for his age and is nice looking. He travelled a lot and I suppose he never met the right person but he says when he uses dating sites women don't believe he's single or that he's never married or had kids!

 

[Umthalatha80]

Completely agree about the sex!

 

[Caramel Latte]

Nice thread. I'm a single 25 yo and i personally haven't met a guy younger who was mature enough.
I feel like younger guys would probably change their mind/still growing up?
I think rn i'd prefer a 27-30 yo guy (so 2-5 years gap).

I also think the most important thing is that we get along, know what we want, be comfortable with the age gap.

 

[Readread]

Any difference in age is an age gap .

3 years between my husband and I

 

[LavaFlake]

With me it's because he was with a partner for over ten years who didn't want kids or marriage. So it could just be fortunate that they avoided that.

But yeah think that's why it's important to go forward cautiously firstly so if it does go wrong you can protect yourself. But honestly I feel like in life the stuff you regret the most in your 20s is the stuff you didn't do haha.