Clearly the most annoying thumbnail of the trip to date and it’s not even close.
Hope he’s having a great time burning cash as no one continues to watch these…it’s now a regular thing for these Italian videos to not make 35k in the first 24 hours.
“Welcome everyone. Adam the Woo here as the recording of this TGIF. It is Friday, November 28th, the day after Thanksgiving here in Florence, Italy. I am departing Florence. I'm going to be heading to a place I've wanted to see my entire life. Bucket list if you will. And I'm staying in a hotel near the courtyard at the Leaning Tower of Pisa.”
TGIF...in Italy.
I can buy that he always wanted to see the European Vacation spots in Rome, and narcissism means he wanted to see the David statue in Florence. But the Leaning Tower of Pisa was on his bucket list?
And I’m sure Pisa is a lovely town, but it’s way down on my list of places to go in Italy. Como, Cinque Terra, Verona, and so many unsung places in the south would be ahead of Pisa and the tired, overblown leaning tower. I don’t need to go somewhere that has people in Subway sub outfits (yes, that’s coming up) handing out coupons and young male tourists posing so that the tower appears to be their
pen.
It seems Adam decided to not bring a hat on this trip and just go with the really classy “hoodie hood up” look. Also, this is the
third wearing of the Bath t-shirt since he left home…
Pretty much every coffee place sells treats of some sort as well, but Adam HAS to mention it and pat himself on the back that he’s “forgoing” the treats and just getting a coffee (full of cream/milk and sugar).
On the train to Pisa, Adam wants the audience to know that he’s suffering through having to hear children make noise, but he also doesn’t want to record whatever’s happening out the window, so he just focuses repeatedly on his stupid Italy pin on his stupid “cross body bag”
As he arrives in Pisa (
after complaining about the legroom on the train because he won’t store his bag anywhere and needs to keep it with him),
he actually notes that the train arrived with a 1 minute delay.
“
I never realized that the tower is right next to a cathedral, a little prayer dome”, says Adam.
Prayer dome? And then does his OCD tap tap tap on the postcard that informed him of such.
Then he gets excited to see a leaning tower change purse…I wish I was joking.
As long as Adam has a well known landmark to see or can point out a church, he feels safe. He sees as church along the Arno (
which he is still calling “the river”, and I’m 100% sure he doesn’t know it’s the same river he saw in Florence) and calls it “a chapel”
It’s hard to really know how much of it is incompetence/brain rot and how much is Adam doing it on purpose to piss people off, but he continues to call the baptistery at Pisa a “prayer dome”, and the same thing that is right next to the tower that he earlier called a cathedral (which is indeed a cathedral), he now calls “a chapel”. It’s bleeping maddening. Call things what they are or shut the duck up.
Adam's gimbal is all screwed up, so the "prayer dome" looks like it's leaning as well
Adam is quite excited by the fact that there is someone in a Subway sub sandwich outfit handing out coupons near the tower and in front of his hotel. Very classy of Adam and stay classy, Pisa!
I’m sorry, but when you know nothing about the history of the tower, you cannot film as many minutes as Adam does inside and atop the tower, just repeating “I’m at the top” and “you can really feel the tilt” over and over. Idiot has to turn the camera on himself, and I think he’s in love with the front of his hair doing this Bob’s Big Boy type of thing when the hood is on it.
With the camera on him he says:
“
Up in the bell tower. Soon to be going in the cathedral. But for now in the tower Pisa. It's leaning this direction.”
You sure that’s not your diaper shifting, Adam?
I’ll say it again:
Crocs=CLASSY
He seems to have 2 pairs of pants for this trip, one khaki and these that are more olive. 2 pairs of pants, one pair of shoes (Crocs!), and one crappy theme park hoodie…for a month!!!!
Adam moves on and finally figures it out:
“
I said it was a prayer dome, but in fact it is the baptistry.”
But more than even going up in and to the top of the leaning tower,
Adam is OBSESSED with the fact that his hotel room is a “tower view”. He’s annoyed that the room isn’t ready when he arrived, and he can’t wait to check in. He’s even scoping out the area to make sure that he’s in the hotel that is CLOSEST to the tower so he has the best view. I mean, listen to this:
“Right across from the tower. I mean, probably as close to the tower as you could get, accommodation-wise. Should get a…curious to see if I…how good the view is from the window. Can't be bad. I mean, it's just 30 yards.”
It seems like once he got a taste of this with the Eiffel Tower, he’s really into it. I wonder if he’ll have a view of something when he goes back to London on this trip.
In the room, Adam shows off his “
two toilets” and his “
Twinnings” tea (yeah, still with the Twinnings).
So Adam then:
- Shows the view from the window
- Shows the view from the other side of the bed
- Later that night he posts to Instagram the view from in bed
Now it’s time to walk around the town Adam knows nothing about and look at things he knows nothing about and have him say it’s all “really cool” even though he doesn’t know what any of it is. But he does get distracted by one of his favorite things, a robot.
Yeah, I really don’t need this lowest common denominator merch from China they are selling all over Pisa…
Adam says “
I need to get a magnet at some point” and yes, Adam, heaven forbid you didn’t do that. Frankly, I’m shocked you haven’t already.
Adam finds a museum “very very close to the tower” with a “bistro”, and decides he will eat there.
“
I’m going to try get some Italian food”
are words that actually come out of this idiot’s mouth.
You could hire a staff of writers in Hollywood and they couldn’t come up with the ridiculous tit this guy says. I’m going to try to get some Italian food, FFS...
And by now, we know the drill…soup first, and then some mainstream American Italian entree with a Coke, plus some olives.
Shockingly, I’m wrong - no soup!
Adam is doubling up on his entrees now instead of soup. He gets a plate of gnocchi AND a plate of tortellini. I was right on the Coke, though. BOTH dishes are in cream/cheese sauce!
Adam continues to say that “
Coke is very popular in this country”. Is there a country where Coke isn’t popular? I mean, I’m sure here are some but it’s Coca-Cola, the most popular soda in the world.
I refuse to believe that this man doesn’t know what an idiot he is, but he sees people putting their wine glasses up on the wall and taking a picture on the wine with the leaning tower in the background. So what does Adam do?
Yes, he puts HIS ENTIRE MEAL, BOTH PLATES AND HIS DRINK, up on the wall and starts videoing it. Even the bleeping empty Coke bottle. I hope people saw him and thought he was special needs, BECAUSE HE IS.
“All right. I had to. I saw a lot of people putting their wine glasses up on the ledge. I put my, my pasta and my beverage up on the ledge right there. So close in proximity.”
Of the food he says, “
This thing is steamingly tasty”.
Steamingly tasty? It’s just not funny anymore, it’s sad that you’re 51 and don’t know how to talk.
He’s been staring at the Goddamn tower all damn day, outside, from his hotel room and while he ate. But he needs to find a miniature replica in the museum of the tower and record it. Jesus, enough with the tower!!!
Here he says:
“I was also noticing when I was climbing that each level has its own door that you can't go out of. The only door after going in and going up you can go out of is that one. And there's another staircase that goes up to the bell tower. Also, there's really nothing inside. So, I'm just assuming the thing was just made as a bell tower for the church. And now it's one of the most popular towers in the world. And it wouldn't have been if it hadn't started leaning.”
So he’s devoted all day to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, a bucket list item. He’s been up inside it, he got a room with a view of it, and he ate in a museum staring at it with an entire section devoted to it.
And yet he is ASSUMING what it was made for. He doesn’t know who built it, when it was built, why it’s leaning, when it started leaning, what it represents, the relation to the other buildings, nothing. And he doesn’t want to know. He just wants the magnet and the picture for Instagram and Facebook.
Exit through the gift shop to get his magnet…
A homeless man gets in on the “funny” tower pictures.
Adam is now “craving” gelato. He can now say gelato, but he can’t say gelateria. Of course he needs to hold up the gelato in front of the
bleeping leaning tower
The last two minutes of his 48 minute slogfest are devoted to the view from his room (AGAIN).
After the whole day, Adam has figured out that everyone takes a photo pretending to hold up the tower…very perceptive, can’t get anything by this boy.
This is how you know he thinks it’s a cool look for him, he’s wearing the hood inside his room…good look, Adam, definitely keep the hood up the rest of the trip.
The vlog is over.
