simon harris : Most liked Posts

Just seen this comment on the Facebook post. He's legit, he wrote The Great British Post Office Scandal. He's written for Private Eye about it.

Tattle Wiki quoted in the Mail

SendReceive said:

Tattle Wiki quoted in the Mail

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I wrote that! I'm famous! Now I can get my mug splashed all over the local press as "comedienne and funnywoman"

lilykestrel said:

If I were a bit of a scatterbrain when it came to accounting, I would simply not take it upon myself to have thousands and thousands of pounds flow into accounts in my name for me to distribute elsewhere.

Like if you want to do good with your skillset, volunteer your time and skills to good causes or work in partnership with good causes. Although I suppose that comes with less social media clout, and charities don't necessarily want to put their official stamp on "BUY TOBLERONE HOUSE PRISMS FOR THE HOMELESS" or whatever

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Scatterrbrain is how my friend described him, that he means well but no proper business head.

Essex County Council gave my charity £1300 during lockdown for food parcels. We made up 100 food parcels with that and worked with local schools to identify families who would benefit. Not a penny wasted on dodgy social media. They gave us a further amount which we converted into supermarket vouchers …again identifying families via local schools and other charities. Again not a penny wasted. Biggest nice feeling there was being able to help my neighbours who had been going to bed hungry as they had no money. It absolutely did me when I found that out, we were able to get her a voucher and a food bank referral for non-perishables. She said to me afterwards that “it
was so nice to go to bed with full tummies.“ absolutely broke my heart that they had been going to bed hungry before. Made her promise to tell me if it ever hhappened again.


That’s what the £500.000 should have gone on , little community projects actively supporting people in different ways, Essex Wellbeing support who were providing volunteers to do errands for people, community transport who assisted with getting items to people who needed them, all working with the local NHS.

A lot of that still continues on with movement into supporting elderly people just discharged from hospital, welfare phone calls to make sure they have all they need and getting support to them if not. All of that came out of work started during the pandemic. So much good was done but so much more would have been possible with the kind of cash paid to Simon,

I bet he's fummmmmin he can't reply

If he ends up in the paper in a big exposé where they spill all the juicy details, that would just be the sprinkles on top of the chocolate sauce on the cherry of the most delicious cake.

My fellow Southenders and I have had to put up with this moron forcing his gurning meathead in front of the lenses of our local news reporters for years. So for his final hurrah to be an article all about his sentencing would just be glorious.

I’ve mentioned this before but I know we have a few new faces so it’s worth telling it again. We nicknamed him the village idiot in the comments section of Echo News. He’s brought us some earth shattering journalistic gems down the years including: (These are all absolutely real news articles, I’m not exaggerating)

- Simon’s kids teacher gave him a Kit-Kat.
- A utility company dug up a road to replace gas pipes during the school holidays so there were roadworks.
- A construction company erected a fence in front of a bin.
- Someone without children parked in the parent and child spaces at Asda.
- A fibreglass model of an elephant in the garden of our local library fell over. (This involved a GFM appeal, naturally).
- Simon puts Emma’s artwork in a box instead of on the fridge. That was ingenious apparently.
- Simon is hairy and got his chest waxed (Again, a GFM involved here, of course).
- Simon saw a crab on a train.
- Simon swam near Brighton pier in Speedos

This doesn’t even include the predictable, “Charitable Dad is raising money for <insert this weeks topical issue>” shit.

lilykestrel said:

How do we reckon he'll play this? He's clearly cottoned on that the Internet has cottoned on.

Rebrand? Brazen it out? ... Be honest? Be "honest" (the receipts are with a journalist and my agent "honest", I mean)? Go to ground? Pop up with a nostalgic take on how you don't see white dog shit like you used to? Bin day joke?

I generally can't decide

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A Guardian article with Shattenstone explaining his side with a cover spread of him in a wheelie bin full of big macs.

To celebrate this glorious day.

I was, to quote Cleaning with Mario, pure affronted to see people on the hellsite saying that it's a conspiracy about the ECC payments.

I've just been through all 36 spreadsheets on the ECC spending page and pulled out every payment that has gone to "Simon Harris" to check my workings. I was a bit baffled by the 500k figure that's been floating round the hellsite, but I'm afraid to say, if these are all the same 'Simon Harris', then yeah it's about that

Here's the breakdown by Financial Year


Here's the breakdown by 'function' listed on the sheets (by Financial Year)


And for the sake of forensicity, here's all of the lines the data is drawn from

Something I didn't notice before is the budget area it's coming from changes from the start of FY 22-23 (ECC's financial years run April to May)

The 'sheet' column refers to which spreadsheet it's from, that can be found here

Looks like the pigeon won then doesn’t it, you clueless berk.



Thanks to @Jelly Bean for the SS of the oaf talking about Tattle, from thread #1.

BeautifulTrauma said:

Can you share the tweet?

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the Barbara he's retweeting is the lawyer lady who was mithering about the Lee Anderson money with our Jack

This is really blowing wide open now

I like to picture him waking up this morning and momentarily forgetting about the last couple of days as his brain wakes up. He remembers the kids go back to school tomorrow. Muscle memory takes over as he grabs his phone and races to open Twi…. “OH YEAH. BOLLOCKS!!!”

Someone asked a while back why it’s always left wing types who get hauled over the coals. I don’t think it is always - remember Jeffrey Archer and Christopher Davies (you may not remember his name but he was the Tory MP who was convicted of spending £90,000 of public money on his mansion, including a duck house). Therr have been plenty of right wing wrong uns.

BUT Harris and Monroe et al are more egregious to me because they regularly berate the Tories for their austerity policies while stealing from the public purse. Tax evasion/avoidance, failing to pay bounce back loans and whatever covid payment Jack Monroe got are stealing from the NHS and the poor.

It’s the ultimate hypocrisy.

Also I’m left wing and I expect better.

RandomFishOils said:

Even the Duke of Marlborough only charges £4.99 for a tea towel

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Thread title?

Much of my ire is directed at Essex County Council to be frank. Prior to them paying Simon all this money for the coronavirus info and support there were already amazing community hubs doing similar work at a fraction of the cost. They were picking up medication for people and delivering, maintaining contact with housebound folk, ensuring shopping was bought and delivered erc. In fact one of my 100+yr old patients had a volunteer who kindly continued doing his shopping well after the pandemic and up to his death.

All this was done willingly by volunteers along with support from community voluntary services across mid and south Essex, and their role also included social media. All it needed was someone who could advise on social media - this could have meant SImon but at much less cost. the same community hubs are still out there, still supporting people, still liaising with health and social care as needed to meet urgent needs and it costs the tax payer less than £25k a year. Imagine what they could do with the money Simon was paid.

Serious questions need asking about how such decisions were made.

What I’d like is a compilation of all the various photos they’ve used of him. From what I can see, no 2 papers have the same. It’s like the editors have got a bet going on to see who can publish the most gormless looking Simon Harris picture.

The Telegraph thought they had it won early with the demented wrecking ball.


Yahoo went for the bearded Sumo Wrestler


Not a bad effort from Essex Live with the classic, “Hello cattle prod, may I introduce you to anus.”


All the others let out a collective, “oh fuck, where did they find that?” When the evening standard dropped, “I woke up 5 minutes ago in a wheelie bin.”


The Daily Mail found this snap of him coming home with gawage snacks at 2.30 in the morning


The Mirror somehow caught the exact moment he first saw the LG thread on Twitter


Echo News couldn’t let old loyalties die easily and they tried to get a photo of him smiling. This is the best they could manage.


But I’ve appointed myself judge and I’m giving it to the Daily Express for this fine effort