real life crime and murder : Most liked Posts

Hot_Dogs_Or_Toes said:

Why is it men's job and not your job too? Can't we all just work together on issues like this?

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Fucking hell, I've heard it all now.



Men. Are. The. Problem. The porn you view, the comments from your friends that you ignore, the friend you ignore in the pub who is a 'bit handsy', that time you spent *just* a bit too long staring at her in Starbucks so she awkwardly pretended to take a call or be engrossed in something on her phone screen. The 'ugh she's a slag', the 'well look how short her skirt is', the 'fucking bitch' because she cut you up on the motorway, the 'meh she put out so she's not worth a relationship'. The 'well, she was drunk, so how does she know she said no?', the cat-calling, the staring oh my fucking god the staring, again; do they think we don't have EYES? The 'calm down darling', the 'well if it wasn't so low cut I wouldn't look', the 'lololol beach volleyball, amirite?', the if she isn't your idea of an ideal perfect woman she's reduced to insults about smelly vaginas or wonky tits, the referring to adult women as 'girls'.

It is fucking RELENTLESS.

tdf said:

Am I evil? I'm a bloke.

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No idea if you’re evil or not but you’re certainly raising red flags with the need to turn a conversation about a girl who was abused and dumped on the roadside to die in to “poor me, a poster said some men are evil”

Mookle said:

This trans issue is fear mongering, and also not relevant to the current discussion.

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Please don't tell women who are genuinely concerned about safe spaces and safeguarding that the topic is not relevant to a discussion on crime and murder.

G_man said:

Not at all but can you blame people? people have had enough.

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'People' have had enough? I've just watched the videos of these riots and it's loads of coked up, middle aged men who are red faced angry at the world even though they look pretty much over fed, comfortable and feel safe enough in their power to attack the police FFS. I'm a mother of a daughter and if these men tried to capitalise on my daughter's death by acting the big I am and live out their fragile ego filled 'England til I die', mouth breather, neanderthal bullshit towards the people who apprehended a murderer the day before I'd feel so so pissed off. How dare they.

I feel like women can't win here. I remember when, just to pick one example, Grace Millane was murdered by a man she went on a Tinder date with. There were so many comments from men at the time along the lines of "Why did she go back to his place?" "Why did she put herself in that situation?" She was victim blamed for not treating a man she met on Tinder as a potential murderer. Yet the same men who made those comments are the same type of men who also become furious when women treat them as potential murderers. So what are we expected to do?

Bread said:

I'm embarrassed to admit that I think he's a bit fit.

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First thing that came to my mind when I read your comment

BaxterBillions said:

Jesus wept, a lot of misandry on hereYes men commit crimes against women but it's a small minority and men are more likely to be actual victims of violent crime. It's just that when a woman is killed, it is far more likely to receive media attention, particularly if the victim is photogenic. Get a sense of perspective, will ya!

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92% of women killed in 2020-21 were murdered by a man. There was also a 13% increase in sexual assaults, and those are just the ones that were reported. I know plenty of people who didn’t bother to report their assaults because they didn’t think the police would believe them/take them seriously.
60% of murdered women knew their killer (usually a partner/ex) compared to 44% of murdered men.

There has been a HUGE increase in gang related murders in recent years and they are mostly males.

So yes, men are more likely to be killed. But it’s very rare for a man to be murdered (and potentially raped) by a stranger while just walking home.

It’s very easy to throw out the “not all men” view and say that we’re all being paranoid, but whilst women are being murdered and raped by the police force that is supposed to be protecting society, then I think it’s fair play to be a little bit paranoid.

Maybe you should get a sense of perspective.

TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo said:

No.
Don't place hideous emphasis on comparatively very innocent categories.

Furrys - been around at least 25 years - bit weird, nothing dodgy.

Transwoman is fairly self explanatory and quite honestly it's disappointing to have this conversation over and over again. Can't we look to the many women who live amongst us having transitioned, rather than the few that are deviant. It's so skewed.

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TW used to be called transsexuals. They knew they were men. I was an SaLT and one of my colleagues worked intensively with that client group to help them feminise their speech patterns. and voice. No-one never had a problem with them. They were people who were desperately unhappy with their sexed bodies, for whatever reason, and wanted to present as being as feminine as possible.

Some had extensive surgery, others didn't. Some were beautiful, others looked like what they were - blokes in frocks. But ALL of the ones I met were very aware that they were male - they were MEN. That was what caused the problem for them.

They didn't insist on women's spaces, or try to take women's awards, or invade women's sports, or get angry and aggressive with people. They didn't try to influence the sexuality of children. They didn't try to force other people to buy into their fantasy of themselves as women. They didn't threaten or abuse anyone who unintentionally "misgendered" them. All they wanted was to be as feminine as they could, and live their lives in the same way the rest of the population does; living in as comfortable a way as possible with themselves and the people they loved. These TW are still out there in the population, and TBH if I were one of them, I'd be horrified at the actions of the TRAs.

The very real distress of a tiny minority of individuals has now apparently been hijacked by a very aggressive and IMO dangerous group of men who get a sexual kick out of dominating women, and/ or thinking of themselves as women. This is an entirely different group to those with genuine gender dysphoria, and these are the ones I mean when I describe them as dangerous. If you believe otherwise you are very naive.

And as for "furries". Yes - they have been around for years. I know little about them and if they keep their preferences to themselves and indulge them in private with other consenting adults of the same species, that's their business, but they seem nowadays to flaunt their preferences publicly and in front of children, if some recent Pride march footage is anything to go by, and this is wrong. Any openly sexualised behaviour in front of children is wrong - simple as that.

it's disappointing to have this conversation over and over again

I agree - it is. The protection of women and children seems to get sidelined every time.

I knew Hannah professionally but pretty well. I’m in total shock. She once said to me that one of her elderly nail clients had died and she found it such a shock as she saw her every two weeks. She was so sad about it. It’s unbelievable to me that a short year or so later and we are now in such shock over Hannah and her family. I just don’t have the words. Her poor father and surviving sister, how do you go on.

Melian said:

Sarah Everhards killer has now come out and said because of what's happened to Huntley, he's concerned about being next

I can't defend prisoners taking justice into their own hands but I'm struggling to find any sympathy

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He’s worried and feeling vulnerable because someone might want to do horrid things to him and potentially kill him. Huh. That’s how women feel because men like him exist.

Next time someone asks why a woman doesn’t leave her abusive partner tell them this is why. When you end it your risk increases and you can end up dead

Email from Kent police - no evidence that my mum was victim of that disgusting piece of shit Fuller. Such a relief, but so sorry for everyone else who might not get good news/has already had the bad news.

With the discussion about VAWG and also the mention of hate crimes.

Misogyny is not a recognised hate crime. Transphobia is.

That means men who say they are women have more protection from harm than actual women.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Would you bind your child’s feet?! Chest binding causes serious irreparable damage to the growing body, to tissue, to ribs to the back which could cause lifelong pain and difficulties. Will certainly cause deformity that will be incredibly difficult to accept when older I cannot imagine facilitating my child to self harm in that way. Heartbreaking. That will not be a neutral act. It’s a pathway to life long medicalisation and life limiting dangerous drug use. These poor poor girls. This is all done before they can remotely possibly have informed consent to the damage they are causing. It’s truly a tragedy and it feels like there has never ever been a worse time to be a girl.
On one hand you have totally horrendous social media beauty standards and body modifications and if you won’t match up to that you should identify out of womanhood altogether to live a lie and also modify and medicalise yourself. Insanity.
Thank god my extremely gender non conforming nephew has been told his whole life that he can wear, like, do and play with whatever he likes and it doesn’t matter one bit- he’s celebrated for being the wonderful boy he is and his 8 boy cousins all treat him exactly the same. They know boys and girls have billions of personality traits. The idea that any of them could be convinced they were “born wrong” is horrifying.
We are failing our girls monstrously and it will take generations to undo the harm we are currently causing and get back the rights we are giving away.
You can call women that care about this issue “nasty” and you can find the discussion uncomfortable but that will never make it right

Eureka said:

The statistics re violence against women are saturated with straight men but here we are arguing about trans women. It's like worrying about a leaking tap on a sinking ship.

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A lot of transwomen - probably the majority - are straight men. They are men who see an opportunity to get into women's spaces; an opportunity to identify as "lesbians" and bully young, vulnerable gay girls into having sex with them; an opportunity to force their cross-dressed bodies (and erections) into spaces where women are unable to complain about it, and are afraid even to leave the situation because they get "micro aggression" and "transphobic" and "bigot" thrown at them.

The straight men who saturate the violence statistics against women are also the ones who are skewing those very same statistics by having their crimes - sexual and violent crimes - recorded as female crimes.

This isn't a "leaking tap". It's a hole the size of an iceberg. It is what's sinking the ship.

THAT'S why we are here "arguing about transwomen".

Nobody is in the "wrong" body. You might not like your body - but it's the one you've got and it's the one destined for you since the moment of conception. And nobody - NOBODY - changes sex. It doesn't matter what you cut off, or stitch on, or how you dress up - you remain the same sex you were identified as at birth. All you do is mutilate yourself. But you are still the same sex.

wibble said:

We don't know it is a murder.

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I’m going to say it’s probably safe to assume that two separate, partial, dismembered bodies in suitcases didn’t die natural deaths.

If I hear one more person say Henry would have died from his injuries regardless I am going to scream. It may be so, but he would have at least died with some fucking care and kindness instead confused and terrified like a meaningless bit of a roadkill.

It's literally impossible to have a sensible conversation about this. Impossible. I grew up in inner city London as one of very few white (or white passing - I'm mixed race) children at my school - I think maybe four or five in the entire year. The vast majority of my friends, until I went to university, were Muslim or Sikh. I can remember when 9/11 happened - I was 11 at the time - two of my Muslim classmates having a conversation about it and saying they didn't agree with it but they could understand why the terrorists had done it. 11 year olds saying that clearly picked it up from somewhere.

There is a huge cultural - and it is specifically cultural - misogyny problem among Indian, Bangladeshi and Pakistani communities in the UK. I saw it when growing up and it's still a problem now. I am firmly left of centre politically and can't see that ever changing but I am so incredibly frustrated with the absolute lack of nuance and critical thinking on the left.

As the daughter of a refugee (of a different cultural background), I would not ever vote for Reform or their ilk but I can certainly see why people are turning in that direction and the left is making an enormous mistake in refusing to engage in the discussion, particularly when it comes to Islam. What gets me more than anything else is that Islam is at its essence an extremely right wing religion - its doctrine, taken literally, is inherently misogynist and it is homophobic. So it's bizarre to me that all the trans women are women extreme left types are so caught up in defending it because actually the don't share the same values as the majority of Muslim people in the UK.

It makes me sad because we are already stuck in this position where you either have to believe that all brown immigrants are dangerous people or that we should let everyone in willy nilly and if you express any kind of concern whatsoever, or even urge some discussion on the matter, you are a racist.

Tell.A.Tale said:

I have to ask, are you a Historian? You are so well read / versed on so many topics and I find yours post utterly fascinating.

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No! I don't have any degree, started full time work at 17. But in my late 20s I decided what I wanted to do most of all was learn about the world; my life up to that point had shown me a lot of human nature, both Good and also, sadly Evil, and I decided that I now wanted to read in order to understand what wiser minds than mine thought about it all. And since then I've been reading obsessively especially my favourite subjects which are history, feminism, religion and politics. And now that I'm a crusty old woman who's no longer got enough oestrogen in her body to give a fuck about pandering to men and fixing everyone else's problems, I've got the time to read as much as I like. And I do like it. Like, when I go into the library, I literally get a crackle down my spine standing in the foyer thinking about what section I'm going to go into first and what special interest I'm going to pursue this month. In fact I'm getting that tingling feeling right now just thinking about it.

Also, I don't like telly, because since about 2005 it's felt like patronising social propaganda to me. Our cultural elites are trying to mold our minds in a certain way from the things they are choosing to report on or write dramas about, and I don't like it. So I think, books will never let me down because even at some pretty fucking awful points in my life (drugs, DV, penury) they never have. Also, they tend not to lie to you. If you put something in a book, you have to back it up. So, that's good. Like a book is a portal to another world and a hug for my brain. So it's books, lots of out with my dogs, and sperging about stuff I like on chat forums

MrsPiggleWiggle said:

I think “men” are very well aware that there are a lot of unpleasant, dangerous and violent men around, actually.

What makes you think they can’t see it? Men are the most likely victims of violent crime committed by other men. Men also take precautions when encountering other men. Attacking women and children is obviously a much more cowardly thing to do, but many either don’t discriminate or keep their true selves hidden away behind closed doors.

I don’t know how you expect men to tackle this because in the real world, you can’t reason with people who do this sort of thing and ultimately, having a little word with someone you think is a potential murderer isn’t going to stop them from behaving appallingly!

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i have, frankly, lost track of the amount of predatory men i’ve encountered in my life where their male friends have then said to me that they know he’s like that but can’t do anything about it. the amount of nights out i’ve been on where a man has been inappropriate with me or one of my friends and then looked up and seen all of HIS friends braying and laughing about it.

the issue isn’t that men don’t SEE it, it’s that men do nothing about it. and i think you’ve jumped straight to men committing violent crimes without thinking about the build-up to that. the every day type of men who laugh when their friend heckles a woman in the street, who gives him a high five when he grabs a woman in a bar, who encourages him to follow that woman to the taxi queue (all of these things have happened to me). it’s not having a little word with someone who you think is a potential murderer, it’s calling other men out for how they treat women. they don’t. they won’t. the apples are rotten from the core.