pkd81
Active member
Thanks to everyone for the positive feedback on last week's recap, which also provided the winning thread title (with additional thanks to @littlemuv for the suggestion).
Let's do it again, shall we?
Previously, on The Real White Trash of Lake Nona:
The last week sees our dynamic duo of powergrifters doing what they do best: bumbling through life, stumbling as parents, mumbling with their mouths full, grumbling when given the chance—all while their views continue tumbling.
Dim kicked things off with a low-effort Universal voog, where he repeatedly fails to pronounce the exotic foreign word Cinnabon and pads out the video with his patented mixture of wild conjecture and woefully-incorrect Dimsplaining as he shuffles listlessly around the park. He only perks up to throw a tantrum about the humiliation of waiting 30 minutes to pick up his mobile order at Mel’s Drive-In, wherein he was forced to endure the indignity of watching his MELKshake melt in front of him whilst he stood in queue like a plebeian. Pissypants Dim is so offended that he instructs his loyal viewers to boycott Mel’s, but backtracks after admitting the fries had “a little bit interesting seasoning on there, not just regular ole.. salt”.
Next up, an especially unwashed and unkempt Jenn joins the rest of the clan at what has become a cherished annual event in the Tracker household: the Mount Dora Blueberry Festival. Predictably, Dimster and his waddling wife give copious shoutouts to their absolute dear friends at Black Bros Coffee for completely sincere and authentic reasons. The Trackholes succeed in making the day all about themselves despite having the offspring in tow, signing up for an estimate for a whole-house soft water filtration system and gorging themselves on a wide-array of foodBOOF grub of dubious quality. The pinnacle of the family outing occurs when dyspraxic Buddy spills his $13.00 two-pound box of blueberries on the ground, prompting Jenn to launch into quivering histrionics the likes of which have not been seen since she encountered her mother’s ghost on Guardians of the Galaxy nearly two years ago.
Homeslog #1 sees a pattern of constant failures: continuing to film in Publix without consent, the inability to follow the simple instructions on a cheap plastic ice-cream maker, ineffectiveness in curbing their hoarding habits in their garage, powerlessness in avoiding being grifted themselves by the slick-talking water filtration salesman, and ineptitude in addressing a long-standing and frankly embarrassing cosmetic issue in their bathroom.
Dimster manages to get “invited out” to a Disney media event: the 35th anniversary of Hollywood Studios. On-the-ball Tattlers predict this was a +1 from Nick, but time will tell if this is the beginning of the 1 Chainz redemption arc or simply a parasitical one-off. Either way, Dimster proudly shows off his coveted lanyard, which proves that he is a winner and thus better than you—the common viewer. The majority of the video is a boring corporate media presentation which was lazily filmed in toto, bookended by Dim autistically repeating the phrase “opening day” ad nauseam, and fingering “exclusive merch” which he can’t even pretend to be interested in. Nick takes a break from stuffing one orifice or another with a churro to join the Dimster for an overpriced lunch at the Brown Derby, where Dim dined on such delicacies as “wine cheese” and a Cobb salad which looked like it was covered in a layer of tri-coloured diarrhoea.
Homeslog #2 mainly centres on futureproofing the inevitable Tracker IRS audit by making sure the installation of the much-hyped whole-house soft water filtration system is the featured topic of the video. Jenn goes out of her way to tell us that the filter system 1) was very expensive and cuntcierge, which makes it not only a sound investment but automatically better than your filter system, and 2) the filter was blessed by the Pope himself, allowing her to bathe in Holy Water which will miraculously transform her hair and skin into that of a younger, slimmer woman who eats healthily, exercises regularly, and actually loves her children. Worth every grubby penny.
The couch talk of Homeslog #2 forms the highlight of the week, as Tim and Jenn decide to publicly address the growing criticism they have been receiving from their dwindling stanbase regarding their completely inept and harmful parenting—specifically not telling Jackson “no” in response to his rude and shrill demands, and being untruthful when he is wrong about a fact or loses a game in order to prevent him from having extremely messy public meltdowns. Rather than take on board the constructive comments from their viewers, Tim and Jenn double down and inform their audience that they know what’s best for their child, and that is to let him have his way in public, but to address the issue later at home. Of course, anyone even remotely familiar with the lazy-as-fuck Bojos know there is no later, and as they continue to take the easy way out, the irreparable harm done to their obviously special-needs son grows exponentially. What else to expect from these two exploitive scumbags?
Dim wraps up the week with a snoozefest of a Magic Kingdom video in which he continues to transparently feign interest in Tiana's Bayou Adventure in the shameless hope of somehow reinstating his Disney grifting credentials.
All in all, it was a predictable week of steady decline and arrested development. With that being said, we're off, we'll see you all tomorrow, and now it's time for society to pay the price.
Let's do it again, shall we?
Previously, on The Real White Trash of Lake Nona:
The last week sees our dynamic duo of powergrifters doing what they do best: bumbling through life, stumbling as parents, mumbling with their mouths full, grumbling when given the chance—all while their views continue tumbling.
Dim kicked things off with a low-effort Universal voog, where he repeatedly fails to pronounce the exotic foreign word Cinnabon and pads out the video with his patented mixture of wild conjecture and woefully-incorrect Dimsplaining as he shuffles listlessly around the park. He only perks up to throw a tantrum about the humiliation of waiting 30 minutes to pick up his mobile order at Mel’s Drive-In, wherein he was forced to endure the indignity of watching his MELKshake melt in front of him whilst he stood in queue like a plebeian. Pissypants Dim is so offended that he instructs his loyal viewers to boycott Mel’s, but backtracks after admitting the fries had “a little bit interesting seasoning on there, not just regular ole.. salt”.
Next up, an especially unwashed and unkempt Jenn joins the rest of the clan at what has become a cherished annual event in the Tracker household: the Mount Dora Blueberry Festival. Predictably, Dimster and his waddling wife give copious shoutouts to their absolute dear friends at Black Bros Coffee for completely sincere and authentic reasons. The Trackholes succeed in making the day all about themselves despite having the offspring in tow, signing up for an estimate for a whole-house soft water filtration system and gorging themselves on a wide-array of foodBOOF grub of dubious quality. The pinnacle of the family outing occurs when dyspraxic Buddy spills his $13.00 two-pound box of blueberries on the ground, prompting Jenn to launch into quivering histrionics the likes of which have not been seen since she encountered her mother’s ghost on Guardians of the Galaxy nearly two years ago.
Homeslog #1 sees a pattern of constant failures: continuing to film in Publix without consent, the inability to follow the simple instructions on a cheap plastic ice-cream maker, ineffectiveness in curbing their hoarding habits in their garage, powerlessness in avoiding being grifted themselves by the slick-talking water filtration salesman, and ineptitude in addressing a long-standing and frankly embarrassing cosmetic issue in their bathroom.
Dimster manages to get “invited out” to a Disney media event: the 35th anniversary of Hollywood Studios. On-the-ball Tattlers predict this was a +1 from Nick, but time will tell if this is the beginning of the 1 Chainz redemption arc or simply a parasitical one-off. Either way, Dimster proudly shows off his coveted lanyard, which proves that he is a winner and thus better than you—the common viewer. The majority of the video is a boring corporate media presentation which was lazily filmed in toto, bookended by Dim autistically repeating the phrase “opening day” ad nauseam, and fingering “exclusive merch” which he can’t even pretend to be interested in. Nick takes a break from stuffing one orifice or another with a churro to join the Dimster for an overpriced lunch at the Brown Derby, where Dim dined on such delicacies as “wine cheese” and a Cobb salad which looked like it was covered in a layer of tri-coloured diarrhoea.
Homeslog #2 mainly centres on futureproofing the inevitable Tracker IRS audit by making sure the installation of the much-hyped whole-house soft water filtration system is the featured topic of the video. Jenn goes out of her way to tell us that the filter system 1) was very expensive and cuntcierge, which makes it not only a sound investment but automatically better than your filter system, and 2) the filter was blessed by the Pope himself, allowing her to bathe in Holy Water which will miraculously transform her hair and skin into that of a younger, slimmer woman who eats healthily, exercises regularly, and actually loves her children. Worth every grubby penny.
The couch talk of Homeslog #2 forms the highlight of the week, as Tim and Jenn decide to publicly address the growing criticism they have been receiving from their dwindling stanbase regarding their completely inept and harmful parenting—specifically not telling Jackson “no” in response to his rude and shrill demands, and being untruthful when he is wrong about a fact or loses a game in order to prevent him from having extremely messy public meltdowns. Rather than take on board the constructive comments from their viewers, Tim and Jenn double down and inform their audience that they know what’s best for their child, and that is to let him have his way in public, but to address the issue later at home. Of course, anyone even remotely familiar with the lazy-as-fuck Bojos know there is no later, and as they continue to take the easy way out, the irreparable harm done to their obviously special-needs son grows exponentially. What else to expect from these two exploitive scumbags?
Dim wraps up the week with a snoozefest of a Magic Kingdom video in which he continues to transparently feign interest in Tiana's Bayou Adventure in the shameless hope of somehow reinstating his Disney grifting credentials.
All in all, it was a predictable week of steady decline and arrested development. With that being said, we're off, we'll see you all tomorrow, and now it's time for society to pay the price.
pkd81
Active member
Congrats to @Mrpibbandredvines for the new thread title, which references both Jenn's legendary tetanus pan and the crumbling viewership of this sustained trainwreck.
Previously, on The Real White Trash of Lake Nona:
The Trackers get this episode started on a languid low note with yet another Element home tore. Grifter #1 can barely keep a straight face as he assures the stans of “how much we love Element Vacation Homes™” whilst Grifter #2 forces a fake laugh that would put Jimmy Fallon to shame. In true Trackhole fashion, the mandatory minimum effort is expended to meet their contractual obligations. Clocking in at a mere 21 minutes, the tore is bereft of any advertising value whatsoever, and one can only wonder how many more of these half-assed slogs will be cranked out until the ill-advised sponsorship mercifully ends.
Next Tim decides to sully what could have been a fun father-son outing—a Hot Wheels monster truck event—into a monetised child-exploitation extravaganza. The video begins with a faked intro obviously filmed after the event wherein Tim speaks in the future tense about the show. Burgeoning child actor Jackson, right on Tim’s rehearsed cue, informs the viewer off camera that he’s “really excited” to attend. Upon their arrival, the mood is completely different: Jackson had been taken to the event as a surprise, but with Tim’s camera shoved in his face to capture the anticipated over-the-top joy (which would be used as bait to be “invited out” to the future Hot Wheels park opening), the unpaid employee instead reacted with cautious apprehension to the noise and crowd inside. Dim slavishly drops a small fortune on parking, entry, VIP passes, hutdugs, and “merch” such as toys, hoodies, shirts—including an assuredly too-small adult Hot Wheels tee for himself—all in the vain hope of catching the attention of Mattel. As the bridges with behemoths Disney and Universal are beyond well and truly burnt, the grift must go on.
The Trackholes next decide to monetise their feeding frenzy at the rather dated and uncuntcierge Garden Grill in Epcot. The staff amusingly stick the obnoxious Tracker clan in the peasant section next to a large drinks station away from the legitimate customers, giving the excuse that they couldn’t be seated in the prime seats due to their need for a highchair—an untruth which Tattlers easily dispelled. As this is the most movement her body had experienced in weeks, Jenn became obsessed with determining the exact speed that the seating area rotated at. Unfortunately, much like Jenn’s correct dress size, the exact number will remain a mystery for the ages. Jackson gave the characters artificially enthusiastic and lengthy hugs whilst constantly checking with his parents for their approval, prompting Tattlers to surmise he was following instructions from his handlers. Oliver was deathly afraid of the characters at first but to the little guy’s credit warmed to them and was enjoying the experience by the end of the voog. Yet another private family moment put on the internet for strangers to ogle in hopes of some quick cash.
The home slog all but confirms recent Tattler rumblings: that Rosie, who had been cashing in a suspicious number of sickdays, has met the eventual fate of all Tracker nannies and flown the coop at the first available opportunity. Jenn, who continues to conflate the terms “meal prep” and “cooking” as synonyms, demonstrates how to effortlessly turn a pound of ground turkey into vulcanised rubber as she dumps it into the long-suffering tetanus pan and violently scrapes it around with the all the grace of an agitated wild boar. The home slog mainly centres on Jenn, now forced to spend time with Da Baby, making basic observations regarding her son that would be embarrassingly self-evident for an actual mother. The Trackholes remind us for the fourth or fifth time that they are not only visiting Lighthouse Point in the near future, but have already found multiple ways to complain about it—namely that the feeding troughs are located a most inconvenient distance from the cuntcierge cabanas. Jenn holds out hope that Disney staff will be on standby with golf carts, ready to wheel their slovenly selves directly up to the buffet when given the signal.
After a prolonged absence of posting, the Trashers are back with the final instalment in this weeks’ adventure: a multi-day staycation at Disney’s Boardwalk Resort. Without the nanny in tow, the Trackers show their ineptitude straight out of the gate, leaving behind Da Baby’s diaper bag in the grotty depths of Ft. Pampers. The purse strings continue to tighten in Trackerland as our motley crew are forced to slum it in a ground-floor room meant for commoners. Jenn checks in at the main desk in obvious an attempt to finagle an upgrade to a Garden Cottage Suite, but to no avail. Both Tim and Jenn pick the room apart, finding ample opportunity to show their disdain for the meagre lodgings. Jackson is especially obnoxious in this voog, constantly interrupting Tim and Jenn’s barely coherent babble with his even less coherent babble. The genius minds behind Trackerland decide to plump for the quick serve dining plan despite Boardwalk being objectively the worst location on property to take advantage of it at. A pedestrian dinner at Primo Piatto ends in strife as Dim and Dimmer realise after leaving that Da Baby’s undersized meal was subtracted from Jackson’s dining plan, prompting Dim to launch into a convoluted complaint badly disguised as an obvious explanation whilst Jenn waddles along and visibly seethes.
All in all, it was a predictable week of steady decline and arrested development. With that being said, we're off, we'll see you all tomorrow, and now it's time for society to pay the price.
Previously, on The Real White Trash of Lake Nona:
The Trackers get this episode started on a languid low note with yet another Element home tore. Grifter #1 can barely keep a straight face as he assures the stans of “how much we love Element Vacation Homes™” whilst Grifter #2 forces a fake laugh that would put Jimmy Fallon to shame. In true Trackhole fashion, the mandatory minimum effort is expended to meet their contractual obligations. Clocking in at a mere 21 minutes, the tore is bereft of any advertising value whatsoever, and one can only wonder how many more of these half-assed slogs will be cranked out until the ill-advised sponsorship mercifully ends.
Next Tim decides to sully what could have been a fun father-son outing—a Hot Wheels monster truck event—into a monetised child-exploitation extravaganza. The video begins with a faked intro obviously filmed after the event wherein Tim speaks in the future tense about the show. Burgeoning child actor Jackson, right on Tim’s rehearsed cue, informs the viewer off camera that he’s “really excited” to attend. Upon their arrival, the mood is completely different: Jackson had been taken to the event as a surprise, but with Tim’s camera shoved in his face to capture the anticipated over-the-top joy (which would be used as bait to be “invited out” to the future Hot Wheels park opening), the unpaid employee instead reacted with cautious apprehension to the noise and crowd inside. Dim slavishly drops a small fortune on parking, entry, VIP passes, hutdugs, and “merch” such as toys, hoodies, shirts—including an assuredly too-small adult Hot Wheels tee for himself—all in the vain hope of catching the attention of Mattel. As the bridges with behemoths Disney and Universal are beyond well and truly burnt, the grift must go on.
The Trackholes next decide to monetise their feeding frenzy at the rather dated and uncuntcierge Garden Grill in Epcot. The staff amusingly stick the obnoxious Tracker clan in the peasant section next to a large drinks station away from the legitimate customers, giving the excuse that they couldn’t be seated in the prime seats due to their need for a highchair—an untruth which Tattlers easily dispelled. As this is the most movement her body had experienced in weeks, Jenn became obsessed with determining the exact speed that the seating area rotated at. Unfortunately, much like Jenn’s correct dress size, the exact number will remain a mystery for the ages. Jackson gave the characters artificially enthusiastic and lengthy hugs whilst constantly checking with his parents for their approval, prompting Tattlers to surmise he was following instructions from his handlers. Oliver was deathly afraid of the characters at first but to the little guy’s credit warmed to them and was enjoying the experience by the end of the voog. Yet another private family moment put on the internet for strangers to ogle in hopes of some quick cash.
The home slog all but confirms recent Tattler rumblings: that Rosie, who had been cashing in a suspicious number of sickdays, has met the eventual fate of all Tracker nannies and flown the coop at the first available opportunity. Jenn, who continues to conflate the terms “meal prep” and “cooking” as synonyms, demonstrates how to effortlessly turn a pound of ground turkey into vulcanised rubber as she dumps it into the long-suffering tetanus pan and violently scrapes it around with the all the grace of an agitated wild boar. The home slog mainly centres on Jenn, now forced to spend time with Da Baby, making basic observations regarding her son that would be embarrassingly self-evident for an actual mother. The Trackholes remind us for the fourth or fifth time that they are not only visiting Lighthouse Point in the near future, but have already found multiple ways to complain about it—namely that the feeding troughs are located a most inconvenient distance from the cuntcierge cabanas. Jenn holds out hope that Disney staff will be on standby with golf carts, ready to wheel their slovenly selves directly up to the buffet when given the signal.
After a prolonged absence of posting, the Trashers are back with the final instalment in this weeks’ adventure: a multi-day staycation at Disney’s Boardwalk Resort. Without the nanny in tow, the Trackers show their ineptitude straight out of the gate, leaving behind Da Baby’s diaper bag in the grotty depths of Ft. Pampers. The purse strings continue to tighten in Trackerland as our motley crew are forced to slum it in a ground-floor room meant for commoners. Jenn checks in at the main desk in obvious an attempt to finagle an upgrade to a Garden Cottage Suite, but to no avail. Both Tim and Jenn pick the room apart, finding ample opportunity to show their disdain for the meagre lodgings. Jackson is especially obnoxious in this voog, constantly interrupting Tim and Jenn’s barely coherent babble with his even less coherent babble. The genius minds behind Trackerland decide to plump for the quick serve dining plan despite Boardwalk being objectively the worst location on property to take advantage of it at. A pedestrian dinner at Primo Piatto ends in strife as Dim and Dimmer realise after leaving that Da Baby’s undersized meal was subtracted from Jackson’s dining plan, prompting Dim to launch into a convoluted complaint badly disguised as an obvious explanation whilst Jenn waddles along and visibly seethes.
All in all, it was a predictable week of steady decline and arrested development. With that being said, we're off, we'll see you all tomorrow, and now it's time for society to pay the price.
fiveleggedgoat
VIP Member
Oh, what the heck…
TTT #175: “A Screw Loose: The Jenn Tracker Story”
TTT #175: “A Screw Loose: The Jenn Tracker Story”
pkd81
Active member
Rebelle
VIP Member
TheDimSnacker
Active member
Hot new merch...size 4X and up (run large)
fiveleggedgoat
VIP Member
eatcherheartout
VIP Member
Another Disney staycation coming up. According to Jenn, this will include “a lot of outdoor time.”
The entire family went to the grocery store because they need groceries for their upcoming staycation. They don’t buy anything at the store other than baby food and more hot wheels for Jackson. Jenn says they ran out of time and have to go back tomorrow for the groceries because they have to get home and make dinner. How does that make sense? They can’t push dinner back 30 minutes to avoid another trip to the grocery store tomorrow? They are fucking morons.
The entire family went to the grocery store because they need groceries for their upcoming staycation. They don’t buy anything at the store other than baby food and more hot wheels for Jackson. Jenn says they ran out of time and have to go back tomorrow for the groceries because they have to get home and make dinner. How does that make sense? They can’t push dinner back 30 minutes to avoid another trip to the grocery store tomorrow? They are fucking morons.
Mrpibbandredvines
New member
TTT 174: Burning pans and losing fans
chitownzee
Well-known member
The 4 C’s, Cruises, concierge, Covid, and Jen
larrybluebird
Active member
What do you mean? He’s a modern Renaissance man. Among his many talents…
Building things out of cardboard and making costumes:
Decorating and organizing their home:
xmasbdaygirl
VIP Member
Here's the thing with the entire slide situation. YOU DO NOT VIDEO OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS IN BATHING SUITS. Period. Ever. No matter how cute your kid is. If you are putting it out for your 900k subscribers. YOU DO NOT FILM AT THE POOL AREA. Fucking asshole. There are a million creeps out there who get off on shit like this. I don't care that you cannot clearly see their faces. You can see them. Their parents did not give you permission and this is 1000% inappropriate.
And there was no fight, J$ stopped. I'm sure the kid thought he was chickening out and went past him. Tim making drama like that is going to super fun for J$ as he gets older. Asshole.
TheDimSnacker
Active member
Tim: Nick draw me like one of your old podcast guys...
JerzGurl
Well-known member
Hi everyone... thanks for all the great posts so I didn't have to watch the daily shit shows!
I just wanted to give an update on my father for those who are interested... Yesterday we were told the second round of chemo did the job! He is cancer free right now! I will have to fly down every couple months to drive him and my mother to Tampa for a scope to monitor closely. I'm sorry for going off topic but I'm just so elated and happy I can't stop telling everyone!!!
I just wanted to give an update on my father for those who are interested... Yesterday we were told the second round of chemo did the job! He is cancer free right now! I will have to fly down every couple months to drive him and my mother to Tampa for a scope to monitor closely. I'm sorry for going off topic but I'm just so elated and happy I can't stop telling everyone!!!
fiveleggedgoat
VIP Member
That almost $300 high tea was the chef’s kiss. Watching Jackson phased out so completely was concerning, but knowing Jenn wanted this so badly without considering Jackson’s interest and seeing how badly it went was fantastic. That kid ignored ALL of his mom’s questions and kept his eye on the sugar prize. She filmed instead of interacting with him. She ignored him. At one point when Tiana comes out, you can hear him say “just one bite” and she seems pissed he is interrupting her “vid” and she whispers “just one bite to start!”
Lol she didn’t do this to spend time with her son. She did it with him because he was her ticket in and no one would let her in without child.
What a loser.
Lol she didn’t do this to spend time with her son. She did it with him because he was her ticket in and no one would let her in without child.
What a loser.
