HomewithShan #6 Still ignores her kids & asks ‘why does George scream at me?’, would take a poke in eye for free

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She could do plenty to help herself though, shes just too tight. Put the kids in nursery, go back to work, and hire a cleaner. She could also tell her useless husband to man up and actually be a partner
 
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The housework stuff is exactly what I was saying a while back and someone replied that it HAS to be done 🤯 That hugely depends on the situation but in Shan's case if it's producing such levels of stress for her, she has to learn to let go a little bit or get Ash to help her. At least she has the option of shouting at Ash to do so.
It was me that said it has to be done. The kids need clean clothes. The food needs to be picked up off the floor so the kids can walk and crawl safely about. Saying it doesn't have to be done is silly. It does.
I also said that it doesn't need to be Mrs Hinch standards.
As someone who is very houseproud telling me to lay off the housework wouldn't be helpful at all. What she needs to do is tell her good for nothing husband to help her. Or use one of those pots for a cleaner.
 
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It was me that said it has to be done. The kids need clean clothes. The food needs to be picked up off the floor so the kids can walk and crawl safely about. Saying it doesn't have to be done is silly. It does.
I also said that it doesn't need to be Mrs Hinch standards.
As someone who is very houseproud telling me to lay off the housework wouldn't be helpful at all. What she needs to do is tell her good for nothing husband to help her. Or use one of those pots for a cleaner.
But the comment wasn't about you. Unless your state of mind is also seriously affected by messy toys as well as Shan's. Nor about dropping the essentials like cleaning clothes etc.

Shan is stressed about toys laying about and it's clearly affecting her mental health that she cannot tidy them up immediately. She will never get to tidy everything immediately with two small babies around.

Is your mental health affected by the stuff you cannot get to tidy on 'time' to the extend it ruins your whole week? Shan's seems to. She can ask Ash when he is around but if he is working 12 hour days then he simply isn't available. A cleaner isn't going to be picking up toys for 12 hours a day just for you, unless you have the dosh to pay her 2 salaries.

It's obvious she gets to do enough stuff in the evening and during naps. Just not enough for her liking.
 
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I haven't watched her recent vlog but with all the chat, I'm kinda excited 😅

I only have one but everyone tells me that the transition from 1 to 2 is the hardest (and this is from people thst have more than 3 kids too!) Shan definitely wasn't ready for a second and to me the only reasons she chose to have anther was because she wanted a particular age gap for her to make her "ideal family" situation.

The mess thing is definitely a her issue too. She should definitely either get ash to pull his finger out and do some chores otherwise get a cleaner. I am a sahm but I said if I went back to work, even though I'd come away with significantly less after childcare costs, if definitely get a cleaner so I could spend time with my child instead or cleaning. But we know Shan doesn't want to spent time with her children or spend money that isn't on herself burying cheap temu and halara crap.

She needs to get her head out of her phone, go make friends if she can't build relationships with family. Have all the venting about how hard motherhood is with them and not have them arse lick how she's still doing a great job. She's probably has been told by real life people she maybe isn't doing a great job (I'm going to guess Ash's family seeing as we never hear any mention of them 😅) and probably argued and cut them off, she definitely comes across as that type of person to do that.
 
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While she may do the bulk of the parenting I don’t think it’s comparable to a solo parent, small things like being able to nip to shop while h was napping, going ti her exercise classes etc there’s none of that as a solo parent as I’m sure others are. I get no support financially, physically or emotionally there’s no breaks, it’s not the same . She has it better than most George is in long days at nursery 3-4 times a week! She could make her life easier by stopping dicking around on Instagram filming cringy reels, hire a cleaner for an hour a week to help, do activities with the kids. Ash is clearly useless but she chose him and chose to have a second child. Georges behaviour seems very normal she’s said herself he was such an easy baby I think she’s shocked it’s not as easy anymore.
 
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So instead of waking him up and potentially dealing with a tantrum she's moving him to the sofa to continue napping?? Then when he doesn't sleep tonight she can complain about him tomorrow 🤔
I genuinely don't understand why she doesn't make the food in the day then it just needs reheating when it needs to be served to George.
Has being a parent for nearly 4 years taught her nothing?!
 
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She spends more time than necessary talk to the camera than doing a 5-10 minute task of tidying up, she could film herself tidying up and voice over it at a later time/date. She needs to give herself a routine/discipline to tidy her house. It’s by no means fun, but spend 10-15 mins of nap time tidying then have a coffee and edit vlogs. If it’s that upsetting for her she needs to change things up.
 
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So instead of waking him up and potentially dealing with a tantrum she's moving him to the sofa to continue napping?? Then when he doesn't sleep tonight she can complain about him tomorrow 🤔
ee no what on earth is she playing at, so she still hasn’t learnt her lesson about letting him nap at this time?! I’ve honestly never came accross such an incompetent mother. How anyone can have a single ounce of sympathy for her when this is the type of thing she does is totally beyond me 😂 how hard is it to get your kids into a routine?! I don’t know a single person that would let their kid nap at that time, let alone on a regular/daily basis. If they went to bed at a reasonable time she’d have plenty time on an evening to get chores done. Also wondering why she waits until he gets home to start cooking, when she doesn’t leave the house all day, if it were me I’d be making sure it was all ready for him coming in so I could spend more time with him, but in her mind it’s just another excuse to escape from him so she wouldn’t do that.
 
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Shan is stressed about toys laying about and it's clearly affecting her mental health that she cannot tidy them up immediately. She will never get to tidy everything immediately with two small babies around.

It's obvious she gets to do enough stuff in the evening and during naps. Just not enough for her liking.
I think this is the key issue: she never bangs on about not being able to clean the bathroom or hoover the stairs, it’s always about the toys! It’s the toy mess that she can’t cope with. All she needs is a midday reset, end of day reset and to promote rules and responsibilities around toys, such as putting away one big toy before getting out the next one. I mean, let’s be honest, H isn’t getting all the toys out, it’s G. Instead, she wastes time filming and editing in those times she could be keeping on top of housework. It goes back to what she said in her vlog, “Is this just life now?” and it is, for the majority of us that can’t afford a house keeper, chef, full time nanny or all of the above 😂. Life can be mundane but you have to search for happiness within your days. She spends hers cooped up in her house all day long talking at people who aren’t her friends.
 
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While she may do the bulk of the parenting I don’t think it’s comparable to a solo parent, small things like being able to nip to shop while h was napping, going ti her exercise classes etc there’s none of that as a solo parent as I’m sure others are. I get no support financially, physically or emotionally there’s no breaks, it’s not the same . She has it better than most George is in long days at nursery 3-4 times a week! She could make her life easier by stopping dicking around on Instagram filming cringy reels, hire a cleaner for an hour a week to help, do activities with the kids. Ash is clearly useless but she chose him and chose to have a second child. Georges behaviour seems very normal she’s said herself he was such an easy baby I think she’s shocked it’s not as easy anymore.
Agree, I'm a single mum. No financial support (I'm meant to get £4pw maintenance but doesn't pay lol) , no one to run anything past, no one to rant at if you've had a bad day, not able to nip out without taking the kids, can't leave the house after bedtime. The term solo parenting annoys me tbh
 
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Agree, I'm a single mum. No financial support (I'm meant to get £4pw maintenance but doesn't pay lol) , no one to run anything past, no one to rant at if you've had a bad day, not able to nip out without taking the kids, can't leave the house after bedtime. The term solo parenting annoys me tbh
Feel exactly the same! It’s not even nearly the same, even when ash worked out she had someone to talk too and knew he’d be home at weekends or other times. Unless you’ve done it totally alone you’ve no idea. Wow £4 a week that would make a huge difference 🙈 I don’t understand how the absent parent can not even want to help pay for their child. At least we don’t have to share Christmas and birthdays etc, selfishly I don’t know how I’d cope if I had to share custody or even lose a night (of course for my daughter I would and have tried to encourage a relationship)
 
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But the comment wasn't about you. Unless your state of mind is also seriously affected by messy toys as well as Shan's. Nor about dropping the essentials like cleaning clothes etc.

Shan is stressed about toys laying about and it's clearly affecting her mental health that she cannot tidy them up immediately. She will never get to tidy everything immediately with two small babies around.

Is your mental health affected by the stuff you cannot get to tidy on 'time' to the extend it ruins your whole week? Shan's seems to. She can ask Ash when he is around but if he is working 12 hour days then he simply isn't available. A cleaner isn't going to be picking up toys for 12 hours a day just for you, unless you have the dosh to pay her 2 salaries.

It's obvious she gets to do enough stuff in the evening and during naps. Just not enough for her liking.
Eh?! I think something has been lost in translation here.
Kids having every single toy they own out tips me over the edge for sure but I have coping mechanisms like a few out a few in I don't whinge on the gram, taking photos when I could easily pick them up if it's bothering me so much.
G is at an age where he can start to pack his own toys away.
But toys aren't housework imo. Housework has to be done. Picking up toys as you go would be individual to that person.
 
Feel exactly the same! It’s not even nearly the same, even when ash worked out she had someone to talk too and knew he’d be home at weekends or other times. Unless you’ve done it totally alone you’ve no idea. Wow £4 a week that would make a huge difference 🙈 I don’t understand how the absent parent can not even want to help pay for their child. At least we don’t have to share Christmas and birthdays etc, selfishly I don’t know how I’d cope if I had to share custody or even lose a night (of course for my daughter I would and have tried to encourage a relationship)
Unfortunately I've got to share Christmas and they see their dad every Sunday 10-5.30. It's not the same as when your with the other parent, even if they're away for work or don’t help very much.
£4pw for 2 kids is shameful and to not even pay it
 
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Eh?! I think something has been lost in translation here.
Kids having every single toy they own out tips me over the edge for sure but I have coping mechanisms like a few out a few in I don't whinge on the gram, taking photos when I could easily pick them up if it's bothering me so much.
G is at an age where he can start to pack his own toys away.
But toys aren't housework imo. Housework has to be done. Picking up toys as you go would be individual to that person.
That's what I was trying to say, that you are probably a better balanced person than Shan.
Being house proud is great! I kinda wish I was a bit more 🤣

And you're spot on about the toys! My eldest is 2 and we play or sing a tidy up song after he finishes playing and put it all back. We've been doing that since she was 1 year old or younger so it can be done with a 4 year old!
 
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I think this is the key issue: she never bangs on about not being able to clean the bathroom or hoover the stairs, it’s always about the toys! It’s the toy mess that she can’t cope with. All she needs is a midday reset, end of day reset and to promote rules and responsibilities around toys, such as putting away one big toy before getting out the next one. I mean, let’s be honest, H isn’t getting all the toys out, it’s G. Instead, she wastes time filming and editing in those times she could be keeping on top of housework. It goes back to what she said in her vlog, “Is this just life now?” and it is, for the majority of us that can’t afford a house keeper, chef, full time nanny or all of the above 😂. Life can be mundane but you have to search for happiness within your days. She spends hers cooped up in her house all day long talking at people who aren’t her friends.
Literally could not have said it better! :)
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I don’t agree - she isn’t far from being a single parent at all when ash is completely absent. As much as they have money (but we know they don’t share so that doesn’t really count) but that doesn’t help with lack of sleep / feeling burned out.

She might be a total dick to her kids but there’s no denying her life is a riot and she has no support system at all, which is affecting her and in turn her kids.
Ash isn't completely absent, he just isn't in her videos. She has said before he is away for 12 hours at a time sometimes, so if let's say that's 7am-7pm that would still give him time to help out in the evenings. And he does sometimes, she mentions how he cooks for them and looks after the kids on occasion so she can go shopping or on spa days. A single mum does not have those luxuries.

She has a support system - her mum has come to help when she went to Haven recently and when both Ash and Shan went to France for the weekend. They've been using Ash's sisters shower while their bathroom was being done so she is also nearby. I wouldn't call that "no support system".

She has many more choices of support than any single mum I know.
 
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What a shocker moaning kids weren’t asleep until 10pm last night maybe don’t let him nap so late knowing what will happen Shan!! These reels are so cringy embarrassed for her! Such a waste of time and energy too!
 
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Every reel she posts is "inspired" by some other influencer. She doesn't have her own views on anything!
 
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I have to agree with Cosmic, that Ash doesn’t seem completely absent.

Admittedly, I don’t watch every single video so I don’t know fully the ‘picture’ that Shan paints.

However… she chose to marry and have children with a man in the military (that’s not to discredit how hard it is for military families, a lot of my family were). Many vlogs/posts when he would come home from the weekend Ash would be cooking tea for them, or playing with George or asleep on the sofa with George so he clearly spends time with the children.

Shan used to regularly post about their weekends trips out or short breaks. I think the thing now is that since he’s left the military and they’ve been in that house, she’s had a list as long as her arm of all the things she wanted done in the house. And who has done it all? Ash!

My other half is pretty domesticated, does a lot of the cooking and is great with our child. We want stuff doing in the house that he would ordinarily do and we’ve agreed (after me being pretty adamant 😂) that we will pay someone so it doesn’t impact on family time and the ability for us both to parent and have a break occasionally.

If you’re going to ask for a whole new kitchen, stud wall in the living room, new bathroom and Christ knows what else, where your other half is primary contractor, I think as a parent you’ve got accept the fact that you’re going to be picking up the slack for a bit.

Also there’s still been several recent clips where Shan has gone shopping alone or she’s said Ash has taken George somewhere.

Not saying this guy is perfect by any stretch but I think Shan probably needs to put her little violin back in its case to be honest.
 
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I have to agree with Cosmic, that Ash doesn’t seem completely absent.

Admittedly, I don’t watch every single video so I don’t know fully the ‘picture’ that Shan paints.

However… she chose to marry and have children with a man in the military (that’s not to discredit how hard it is for military families, a lot of my family were). Many vlogs/posts when he would come home from the weekend Ash would be cooking tea for them, or playing with George or asleep on the sofa with George so he clearly spends time with the children.

Shan used to regularly post about their weekends trips out or short breaks. I think the thing now is that since he’s left the military and they’ve been in that house, she’s had a list as long as her arm of all the things she wanted done in the house. And who has done it all? Ash!

My other half is pretty domesticated, does a lot of the cooking and is great with our child. We want stuff doing in the house that he would ordinarily do and we’ve agreed (after me being pretty adamant 😂) that we will pay someone so it doesn’t impact on family time and the ability for us both to parent and have a break occasionally.

If you’re going to ask for a whole new kitchen, stud wall in the living room, new bathroom and Christ knows what else, where your other half is primary contractor, I think as a parent you’ve got accept the fact that you’re going to be picking up the slack for a bit.

Also there’s still been several recent clips where Shan has gone shopping alone or she’s said Ash has taken George somewhere.

Not saying this guy is perfect by any stretch but I think Shan probably needs to put her little violin back in its case to be honest.
It's Ash that doesn't want the kids on social media so probably doesn't want to be featured himself
 
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