Jack Monroe #573 Close your Patreon, you thieving liar

[FrumpyCat]

I have a porch. It has umbrellas, dog leads and coats and boots in it. It’s south facing but no one has ever sat in there chatting about anything.

She’s now trying to make out that her son not only went to the cinema with her yesterday but also stayed the night and is going to be thrilled to see all the photos other people have taken of the aurora from Friday nightView attachment 2930414

Giving me very much these vibes.

Spoiler: Caution

View attachment 2930415

Thanks to @Valiofthedolls for the screenie

duck off Jack.

If your son really wanted to see the northern lights he could have gone outside and had a look.

And she can duck off about one day WE will see them. No doubt, Jack has probably never taken her son on any significant holiday on her own with him, not likely to start now.

 

[Grifty Mc]

I also don't understand going to the cinema on one of the hottest days of the year when you live by the seaside.

Could it be… I don’t want to speculate here but could it possibly be that ………. She’s lying??

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

why it’s she gave to wait until Sunday to show him other peoples photos?

I swear English is my first language, that should read “why does she have to wait”and “other people’s photos”.

Lest I be accused of being Jack

 

[StatusWoe]

Worst possible viewing area, tenderMc. Between the giant eucalyptus and the looming silhouette of the upper storeys of the bungalow there’s nary an inch of night sky visible out there.

Not to mention the Dickensian smog.

 

[Ablemabel]

She seems very proud of herself for achieving a minimal level of parenting by managing to keep her son alive and not losing him. Also, “thriving by all accounts” is a very weird way to describe your own child. It’s the way you’d talk about a child you know but don’t spend a significant amount of time with. You tend to know if your own child is thriving, not rely on others accounts. It’s almost as though he doesn’t live with her.

You just know she was one stabby finger away from typing some BS anecdote about how all the teachers say he's the most bestest, most roundedest teenager ever. She never thinks how to the rest of the world tagging 'by all accounts' onto the end of the sentence makes it sounds like she only sees him twice a year.

 

[Elastoblast]

wtf is this tit, I’m no medical expert but this sounds like it could be misleading/dangerous. Obviously if it is correct then fair enough but it’s such a bold claim it could be in Grifty kitchen.

View attachment 2930264

Why has she needed to rehydrate herself for several weeks? Rehydration is a temporary measure to help you recover from vomiting or diarrhoea. If you are still symptomatic after a few days the recommendation is to seek medical advice. Now Jack is not normally one to shy away from trotting down to A&E or her GP for a minor ailment.
What on earth could be causing someone who gobbles down food swimming in watery sauces to need rehydration and suffer from cramps and muscle pains. It's a real mystery

 

[Grifty Mc]

Why has she needed to rehydrate herself for several weeks? Rehydration is a temporary measure to help you recover from vomiting or diarrhoea. If you are still symptomatic after a few days the recommendation is to seek medical advice. Now Jack is not normally one to shy away from trotting down to A&E or her GP for a minor ailment.
What on earth could be causing someone who gobbles down food swimming in watery sauces to need rehydration and suffer from cramps and muscle pains. It's a real mystery

It begins with C

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I suppose from SB’s point of view if he goes to the cinema he doesn’t have to talk to her or eat any slop.

I'm now imagining the Queen of Slops' idea of budget cinema snacks and I've made myself feel a bit ill.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I have a porch. It has umbrellas, dog leads and coats and boots in it. It’s south facing but no one has ever sat in there chatting about anything.

She’s now trying to make out that her son not only went to the cinema with her yesterday but also stayed the night and is going to be thrilled to see all the photos other people have taken of the aurora from Friday nightView attachment 2930414

Giving me very much these vibes.

Spoiler: Caution

View attachment 2930415

Thanks to @Valiofthedolls for the screenie

Jack why didn’t you and/or SB’s dad let him stay up and see the northern lights for himself then? There are pics from Southend on the hellsite so they were visible.

If he really wants to see them, his parents should have made sure he could see them himself. Don’t expect Twitter to parent your boy because he’s got two feckless parents.

(I know, I know she’s lying).

 

[Onestorytoomany]

My kids are much younger and where in bed( awake) when i spotted it. I went up and got them up to have a look. It wasn't even that late when i saw them, how early does her 14 year old go to bed on a Friday. It was midnight for me, once i hit highschool my mum never fussed much at the weekend or i was at sleepovers and well.. sleep just didnt happen.

 

[Beggy Slopgibbon]

Exactly. Nothing can be done in moderation. Everything is always EXTRA. Which leads me to believe she’s either not sober, or if she is sober, her neural pathways have 2 options - ALL or nothing. Black and white thinking is a documented thing for addicts. After years of AA and therapy (I think she’s had therapy?) she should have gotten help with impulse moderation.

But getting out of black and white thinking and acknowledging the grey areas is a key part of the 12 steps recovery process. Which is another reason i think she's talking the talk not walking the walk. Early days my sponsor was always picking me up on my binary thinking. (I must add I'm not in AA but in AlAnon, for friends and families of alcholics, but we do the same 12 steps and I've been to and spoken at plenty of open AA meetings). She ain't sober.

 

[Grifty Mc]

Yea, I don’t have kids but if I did I would make a point of waking them up to experience this. For some one who is allegedly a journo with her ears to the ground to not know this is happening is bollocks.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I'm now imagining the Queen of Slops' idea of budget cinema snacks and I've made myself feel a bit ill.

Unfortunately I’m certain we had a post where she was getting ready for a cinema trip and was making a Tupperware box full of honking chickpeas. Terrifying.

 

[MooBelle]

So now we’ve got randy old RAF Olive regaling Jack with her tales of knee tremblers in shop doorways with good corn fed Kansas GIs, old Gladys the Society Magazine fan who instilled in young Jack a love for the Queen Mother, Tara P-T and along with then-nine year old Jack was ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE at the death of Diana, and Dusty Old Saucy Aunt Helen with her pile of More magazine position of the fortnights down the back of the cistern. View attachment 2930225

Spoiler: Oh Jack, scarlet for you hun.

View attachment 2930234

It’s like the world’s shittest Camberwick Green/Trumpton reboot from the feverish mind of an attention seeking moron whose wildest fantasies all entail imaginary childhood hangings-out with saucy and wacky pensioners.
View attachment 2930235
Oh look! It’s that old millionaire slumlord with his cheroots, boiler suit and one pair of shoes in this week’s episode!

Get to duck you (imaginary) old lady porch-bothering fantasist View attachment 2930239View attachment 2930240

Who sits in a porch?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I bet Jack takes fishy snacks to the cinema.

 

[Cookiecookie]

So now we’ve got randy old RAF Olive regaling Jack with her tales of knee tremblers in shop doorways with good corn fed Kansas GIs, old Gladys the Society Magazine fan who instilled in young Jack a love for the Queen Mother, Tara P-T and along with then-nine year old Jack was ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE at the death of Diana, and Dusty Old Saucy Aunt Helen with her pile of More magazine position of the fortnights down the back of the cistern. View attachment 2930225

Spoiler: Oh Jack, scarlet for you hun.

View attachment 2930234

It’s like the world’s shittest Camberwick Green/Trumpton reboot from the feverish mind of an attention seeking moron whose wildest fantasies all entail imaginary childhood hangings-out with saucy and wacky pensioners.
View attachment 2930235
Oh look! It’s that old millionaire slumlord with his cheroots, boiler suit and one pair of shoes in this week’s episode!

Get to duck you (imaginary) old lady porch-bothering fantasist View attachment 2930239View attachment 2930240

Prince Harry isn't even 4yrs older than Jack, so she must've been pretty old when she was reading these tips and bothering old ladies.

 

[Grifty Mc]

I bet Jack takes fishy snacks to the cinema.

She will threaten a libel on you for this heinous allegation!

 

[noweverythingsucks]

I think she is high or drunk tweeting and deleting when sober. She comes accross as fey during her tweets.

Regarding whether she has intended to deliberately scam, I think she has in many cases. She is calculating and always follows the money. Seeks out rich partners. Monetised a kitten's memorial video, monetised the BLM video, scammed people into paying her to send her own book to a food bank for the full price when she got her books cheap and we don't know if she ever donated. The kickstarter, I suspect she intended to cream something off the top not knowing how much would be donated. Sue Lee, broken website needing funds, woe is me posts leading to funds, HH2, tge Nigella tweets, the Sarah Everard tweets, even blogged about her grandfather's srtious decline in health and lord knows how much more. She has no tact or shame, particularly atound sensitive subjects. She knew what she was doing when she wrote emotionally manipulative tracts about her personal tragedies. She knew gullible, kind people would donate. What is worse is that she knew people who are poor or previously poor would resonate with her experiences and feel compelled to donate when money was tight. She is cruel and greedy and she knows exactly what she is doing. However, I don't think she sat down 10 years ago and mapped out a master grift. I think she wings it and has ideas or grabs opportunities along the way.

Oh yeah I absolutely believe she is scamming people. I just don't think she ever even thought about planning how she was going to do it. I don't know whether the idea to scam comes first or she just makes stuff up for praise and then latches on to the ones which turn out to be publicity/ money spinners..

So now we’ve got randy old RAF Olive regaling Jack with her tales of knee tremblers in shop doorways with good corn fed Kansas GIs, old Gladys the Society Magazine fan who instilled in young Jack a love for the Queen Mother, Tara P-T and along with then-nine year old Jack was ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE at the death of Diana, and Dusty Old Saucy Aunt Helen with her pile of More magazine position of the fortnights down the back of the cistern. View attachment 2930225

Spoiler: Oh Jack, scarlet for you hun.

View attachment 2930234

It’s like the world’s shittest Camberwick Green/Trumpton reboot from the feverish mind of an attention seeking moron whose wildest fantasies all entail imaginary childhood hangings-out with saucy and wacky pensioners.
View attachment 2930235
Oh look! It’s that old millionaire slumlord with his cheroots, boiler suit and one pair of shoes in this week’s episode!

Get to duck you (imaginary) old lady porch-bothering fantasist View attachment 2930239View attachment 2930240

She was sat for hours in one of these? That's one way to keep her out of the way I guess.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Unfortunately I’m certain we had a post where she was getting ready for a cinema trip and was making a Tupperware box full of honking chickpeas. Terrifying.

I do air-fried chickpeas as a snack, but I keep them to myself.

 

[MooBelle]

Unfortunately I’m certain we had a post where she was getting ready for a cinema trip and was making a Tupperware box full of honking chickpeas. Terrifying.

Also the HILARIOUS story when she was in a cinema and took a swig out of a bottle of coke but it was soy sauce because for some reason she had it in her bag.