HomewithShan#6 Still ignores her kids & asks ‘why does George scream at me?’, would take a poke in eye for free

[cosmicstar]

The saddest thing is she is probably not thinking about how he will feel when he grows up and sees those videos. She just doesn't consider any feelings he might have now or in the future at all. Other than to describe how those feelings annoy her. She has zero consideration for him.

If she truly cared you wouldn't be seeing 99% of what she posts about him.

 

[Levi89]

I think she proberly should've said all she said in that video to her husband she is clearly struggling big time and maybe should see a doctor her self, not try to get G diagnosed with something. My daughter is 5months younger then G and she's a wild one but not once did i think she must have something wrong with her. just toddlers & navigating how to deal with them their emotions & your own. It's hard and that's exactly why I'm one and done as I know I couldn't mentally deal with another child, it wouldn't be fair on my daughter,myself. I want to be the happiest version of myself for my child & husband.

& seeing her vlogs makes my mind up even more it was when she swore in anger in the car that I was like wow she needs some help.

 

[cosmicstar]

& seeing her vlogs makes my mind up even more it was when she swore in anger in the car that I was like wow she needs some help.

Why and who did she swear at?

You would think those Better Help sessions she talked about so much would be helping her

I hate influencers that promote stuff they would never use themselves if it wasn't free.

 

[GamerLlama87]

In some ways I feel for her and absolutely relate to an extent, my 2.5 year old has been an absolute savage these past couple of weeks lol and I completely understand the overstimulation of a messy house you can't get on top of, constant tantrums, feeling like you always make your kid cry - Sometimes you have to be the boss and kids won't like it, they'll kick off and push back but that's parenting. It's not all happy play time and giggles, and that's okay.

But the difference is I don't post my moaning to public platforms for all and sundry to see, strangers who can also easily find photos of said child. I moan to my partner, my close friends, family. And the thing I try to remember the most is that my child is literally two years old. There's nothing wrong with him, he's a boisterous toddler with a duck tonne of energy doing normal toddler things. Yes it makes me want to check myself in to a facility some days lol but that's parenting, it's bloody hard sometimes but you have to roll with it.

I think as well as needing to focus more on spending actual quality play time with George, she could do with getting some help herself. I don't think George is the one who needs support and strategies put in place.

 

[Super_Berry]

Has a one watched to vlog and found out why the current week was so damn hard?

Watching it now while I get set up for work. Part of me can't stand her moaning but the other part feels sorry for her cause she literally is a single mum with two kids. I wonder if Ash has ever taken the two kids to soft play himself. I know he doesn't want to be on camera, but she just seems like she's with the kids all the time.

 

[CDoop102]

I just feel so sorry for her tbh. I can see how she’s gotten in this mess, I see it with my friends when they don’t have a supportive partner. It becomes too much for them to hold boundaries and routines, there’s a bit of slippage to make life easier one day, a bit more and before you know it routine is completely out the window and the kids are “hard” work. (Of course they aren’t, they just need some structure). If I was up at 5.30 most days I’d be putting the tv on but I’m not so I am well rested and don’t need to resort to it. Likewise we’ve a good evening routine so when something happens and my child fights it I have the reserves to adjust and see what works. But I’d imagine if I was already wrecked I would just let him fall asleep on the sofa one night, and then one night becomes routine etc. it’s really Ash I think we should be criticising because she seems so on her own!

 

[Dramallama2]

She’s really giving off the impression her relationship is down the gutter aswell, always mentioning other things going in the background that she isn't discussing and said in the last vlog her relationship was being affected. I mean, we all knew what a joke of a marriage this is and how in a real world it would never last but I can't see her ever leaving him, what a miserable life she has. I can't feel sorry for her at all, as I said in my last post she had children out of choice and having a second one knowing for a damn fact she couldn't handle the first and hated every single thing about motherhood, why would you put yourself in the situation? I struggle to see how people can sympathise. I could possibly have a little bit more if she'd stuck with one child because she wouldn't of known how useless he would be and the fact motherhood wasn't for her but for the second she knew he was a useless deadbeat dad and that she hated motherhood, having a second wasn't going to magically change anything apart from make the first born life even more miserable because of her worsening behaviour. God help anyone watching her videos who doesn't already have children but wants them, she's probably put them off for life.

 

[ohsosweet]

I agree that it sounds like she needs to see a doctor for her own mental health.

I can’t say I’m hugely sympathetic. She has a massive chip on her shoulder. I suspect A is telling her to lay off the vlogging to and she doesn’t want to because of the financial gains. She has a warped the idea that the viewers are like her and are her friends. They aren’t her friends. She needs to put the camera down and meet women in real life. She needs that WhatsApp group to send a voice note to and her friends saying they are feeling the same and all she wants to do is film it for an online community. It just isn’t the same.

I’m watching the vlog and she says the house is a mess and is this what life is just having to tidy it all up after kids destroy it basically. Yep! It is in my house. She’s obsessed with a tidy house. She needs to lower her standards and accept that it can get tidied whilst her children sleep. There’s just no point in trying to have it look spotless when they are about. Whoever said the other day that she must put tv on so there’s no toy mess is bang on imo. She just isn’t helping herself. There will be no change unless she changes.

 

[Super_Berry]

Interesting she liked this comment rather than replying to stand up for her husband and all the work he does.

 

[Dramallama2]

Aswell as thinking/constantly wanting re-assurance from other mums about how awful parenting is and wanting to hear that everybody not coping like her, I'm sick of her trying to push the narrative that it's normal for all mums to do 99% of the parenting on our own when it's absolutely not, and it's definitely not acceptable. I think she genuinely believes this is how it is for everyone rather than admit to herself that she is married to a total waste of space. I would genuinely be embarrassed of him.

 

[Levi89]

Why and who did she swear at?

You would think those Better Help sessions she talked about so much would be helping her

I hate influencers that promote stuff they would never use themselves if it wasn't free.

13mins in she's just talking to the camera while in the car with hallie, taking about the house and it being an "absoulute shithole" she is defiantly struggling and I get it mother hood is hard she defiantly needs to see a doctor x

 

[ohsosweet]

13mins in she's just talking to the camera while in the car with hallie, taking about the house and it being an "absoulute shithole" she is defiantly struggling and I get it mother hood is hard she defiantly needs to see a doctor x

Because G “runs around like a tornado”. I wonder if she thought the HV was going to diagnose G with something and that would solve all her problems.

Her husband needs to get his arse into gear and help out. Meanwhile, she needs to spend money out on things that will support her. Get out to baby groups / stay and play / pay for the peanut app. Hire a cleaner once a week. Get back to work - she clearly enjoys working vs being a stay at home parent - and there’s nothing wrong with this. She must be so isolated without any friends or family nearby.

 

[sageandoak]

Even if George is diagnosed with something it doesn’t mean it will magically be fixed and he will be a calm and quiet little boy, it just means he has a label and she needs to make more of an effort to understand his ways. Which is again going to be a challenge for her.

 

[sodit]

My partner said tonight at bedtime that he heard it was meant to get easier as they got older, I nearly choked on my drink. I was like I don't think it gets easier I think it's just different challenges. The tantrums a year ago were because he couldn't speak and tell us what's wrong, but now he doesn't shut up and tell us word for word his complaints or repeats the same phrase over and over and over and over until we eventually give in and do what he wants

Hard relate. I had no idea how convincing toddler pester power could be

 

[Levi89]

I agree, her husband seems to not do anything, although we do only see certain bits maybe she chooses not to share some stuff. But does he ever get up with the kids in morning? Why doesn't he take G out on weekend have some father son bonding? Or take both kids so she has break? Even if it's having a coffee in her bedroom alone while he entertains the kids. That's proberly why she feels how she does as she is like everyone said in a marriage but clearly doing 100% everything.

 

[cosmicstar]

No one should feel sorry for her on the basis of being a solo mum. She is far from it and and insult to real single mothers.

She is a 'solo mum' who is not working at the moment and has one child in nursery, at the very least part time, and family nearby to help her sometimes (like her mum when she went to Haven).

Real single mums work, many full time, and have to support two children with that one salary. Shan has two incomes (main job plus social media) plus Ash's which is how she can afford some me time, and a good lifestyle which real single mums don't get.

If one of the children cries at night she has the option of telling her useless husband to get up for once so she can get some sleep. And maybe 1 time out of 10 he might do. Single mothers don't have that choice.

Her whole 'woe is me' persona because her husband wont help her enough is really tiresome.

 

[ohsosweet]

I’m moving house and was watching packing inspiration on YouTube earlier (instead of packing my own things, of course) and her videos came up as recommended, so I watched them. The first one from when she moved from Lincoln in particular was a really nice video. She came across as very likeable, at ease, so sensitive with G and really like she was bossing it in terms of moving her whole house with a toddler and her (then boyfriend) abroad for work. It seems as though she has been completely drained of that zest as soon as he returned home!

 

[graceanatomy]

She fixates and obsesses so much about the housework. It's boring as tit to hear her nonstop word vomit about it on her vlogs. I mean, I kind of get it because sometimes when I am stressed /overwhelmed with life in general then the housework seems like one thing I could potentially control (if I had the time) and my mind can tell me that if only the house was spotless everything would be okay. Obviously that's not true. Just Letting it go is a lot easier!

What on earth were they thinking having Ash do the bathroom himself at this moment in time. If they are literally only just getting by day to day, sleep deprived and burnt out then it is NOT the time to be doing reno work that is non essential?!? Ash is basically out of action in terms of day to day life and running of the family, when he does very little as is. Shan clearly resents the hell out of him and can't even hide it.What a toxic environment for those kids to grow up in.
Ash seems like the type of "trad"guy who would think it was only fair for the woman who is on maternity leave to do EVERYTHING in the house/concerning the kids

 

[cosmicstar]

The housework stuff is exactly what I was saying a while back and someone replied that it HAS to be done That hugely depends on the situation but in Shan's case if it's producing such levels of stress for her, she has to learn to let go a little bit or get Ash to help her. At least she has the option of shouting at Ash to do so.

 

[myst3ry]

No one should feel sorry for her on the basis of being a solo mum. She is far from it and and insult to real single mothers.

She is a 'solo mum' who is not working at the moment and has one child in nursery, at the very least part time, and family nearby to help her sometimes (like her mum when she went to Haven).

Real single mums work, many full time, and have to support two children with that one salary. Shan has two incomes (main job plus social media) plus Ash's which is how she can afford some me time, and a good lifestyle which real single mums don't get.

If one of the children cries at night she has the option of telling her useless husband to get up for once so she can get some sleep. And maybe 1 time out of 10 he might do. Single mothers don't have that choice.

Her whole 'woe is me' persona because her husband wont help her enough is really tiresome.

I don’t agree - she isn’t far from being a single parent at all when ash is completely absent. As much as they have money (but we know they don’t share so that doesn’t really count) but that doesn’t help with lack of sleep / feeling burned out.

She might be a total dick to her kids but there’s no denying her life is a riot and she has no support system at all, which is affecting her and in turn her kids.