Friends (or lack of) #2

[daisy2809]

this might make me sound a bit too crazy so I do apologise if so does anyone feel like they’re literally at the point now where they don’t even know how to interact with people now?!

i’m mid 20s, haven’t had friends for about 10 years, thank god I do have an amazing partner but coupled with this and WFH for years I genuinely do feel like an alien sometimes. like, I joined bumble bff for example, but I feel like I don’t have the first clue what to say to anyone? I suppose small talk and getting to know people is laborious at the best of times, but I feel like I wouldn’t have the first clue how to ‘reintegrate into society’ so to speak. just a stream of consciousness really, I’m sure I can’t be the only one that feels this way although it does sound quite extreme when I put it down on paper! I do wonder what it would be like to have a ‘normal’ life and, in a way, grieve the teens and twenties I never had

 

[hytuhh]

this might make me sound a bit too crazy so I do apologise if so does anyone feel like they’re literally at the point now where they don’t even know how to interact with people now?!

i’m mid 20s, haven’t had friends for about 10 years, thank god I do have an amazing partner but coupled with this and WFH for years I genuinely do feel like an alien sometimes. like, I joined bumble bff for example, but I feel like I don’t have the first clue what to say to anyone? I suppose small talk and getting to know people is laborious at the best of times, but I feel like I wouldn’t have the first clue how to ‘reintegrate into society’ so to speak. just a stream of consciousness really, I’m sure I can’t be the only one that feels this way although it does sound quite extreme when I put it down on paper! I do wonder what it would be like to have a ‘normal’ life and, in a way, grieve the teens and twenties I never had

Not a direct answer to your post but to the last bit about grieving your teens and twenties - I fully get that. I just wanted to give you (and myself) some hope, my mum is mid 50s and she started a new job a couple of years ago now. In this new job, she has met the most caring, kind and considerate group of ladies who have formed a beautiful friendship together. They’ve travelled together, supported each other through life events and generally been the best of friends to each other. It’s been lovely to see friendships develop later in life and just shows that we have so many people left to meet. We can’t lose hope

 

[whoareyouu]

I feel really annoyed.

My friend has gone back and forth from her cheating husband four times in the last year. He has kept leaving her for the same woman. I have been there for her. We went for walks etc.

Now she’s back with him again she’s vanished off the face of the earth.

 

[Here for gossip]

I feel really annoyed.

My friend has gone back and forth from her cheating husband four times in the last year. He has kept leaving her for the same woman. I have been there for her. We went for walks etc.

Now she’s back with him again she’s vanished off the face of the earth.

I had a friend of 20 years who got into a new relationship and never talked or mgs me anymore even walked past me in the street with the new partner I was only good enough when they was single and wanted to drink and party other than that I guess I was just used and they was never a true friend

 

[whoareyouu]

I had a friend of 20 years who got into a new relationship and never talked or mgs me anymore even walked past me in the street with the new partner I was only good enough when they was single and wanted to drink and party other than that I guess I was just used and they was never a true friend

It’s horrible isn’t it. I’ve had this woman’s back every time she has gone back and I’ve been there to listen to her break her heart over him. Now I’m discarded.

 

[lilbws]

usually a silent reader, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. It was my birthday on Friday, I’m not really into birthdays but had a pretty poop start to the year (c word diagnosis for my Nan) and try to remain positive. I have a few people I would consider ‘friends’, I will reach out, ask if they’re ok etc but never meet as nobody takes up the offer. Well, out of these friends 0 messaged me happy birthday. A message that takes less than 10 seconds to send - last year this happened and I just assumed they were busy. But they saw my instagram post, have Facebook reminders for birthdays. I fed up with being lonely. Why am I not good enough for friends

 

[Popcornshovel]

usually a silent reader, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. It was my birthday on Friday, I’m not really into birthdays but had a pretty poop start to the year (c word diagnosis for my Nan) and try to remain positive. I have a few people I would consider ‘friends’, I will reach out, ask if they’re ok etc but never meet as nobody takes up the offer. Well, out of these friends 0 messaged me happy birthday. A message that takes less than 10 seconds to send - last year this happened and I just assumed they were busy. But they saw my instagram post, have Facebook reminders for birthdays. I fed up with being lonely. Why am I not good enough for friends

This is tit. I think it all goes back to everyone is so self-obsessed and busy, this kind of nice normal 'bare minimum as a friend' type stuff is just falling away. Basically, it's them not you.

And I hope you had a nice birthday!

 

[MissJoT]

I've only stumbled across this thread today. I lost a lot friends during lockdown because I just got out of the habit of chatting. Fast forward to now and I'm about to move house to somewhere 26 miles away where I only know my boyfriend. I went to the hairdressers over there about 2 months ago and my hairdressers was saying there was a local Facebook group of women who meet up. Some are married, some are single but they do so much.

There are trips to the theatre, walks, someone might say 'does anyone fancy a carvery tomorrow night I'll drive' or an impromptu trip to the pub after a bad day. For anyone who's brave enough to venture into it's definitely worth checking your local Facebook for something similar.

 

[Viper6666]

I'm so glad I found this thread, feeling rather tit about my social life. I used to have a group of friends who I saw all the time but unfortunately things happened and that groups gone and I'm finding it hard getting that closeness with new people. It's making me feel really depressed
---

this might make me sound a bit too crazy so I do apologise if so does anyone feel like they’re literally at the point now where they don’t even know how to interact with people now?!

i’m mid 20s, haven’t had friends for about 10 years, thank god I do have an amazing partner but coupled with this and WFH for years I genuinely do feel like an alien sometimes. like, I joined bumble bff for example, but I feel like I don’t have the first clue what to say to anyone? I suppose small talk and getting to know people is laborious at the best of times, but I feel like I wouldn’t have the first clue how to ‘reintegrate into society’ so to speak. just a stream of consciousness really, I’m sure I can’t be the only one that feels this way although it does sound quite extreme when I put it down on paper! I do wonder what it would be like to have a ‘normal’ life and, in a way, grieve the teens and twenties I never had

Just wanted to say I feel exactly the same way, it's nice to know other people are going through the same thing

 

[ATV2021]

My birthday is Monday. I said a while back to an acquaintance that my birthdays are a let down etc. She said we'd go for a BB (bottomless brunch). That turned to dinner and drinks. Fine.
Dinner booked for 6pm drinks for 8.30
And then today when we arranged this comes round. Messaged all day like cool.
5.50 just waiting for washing machine (with surprise invited friend who I do not know).
6.20 ??? Got a bad belly. Be round soon
Turns up at 7PM. I was in pjs. Made me get changed. To note her and friend were absolutely wrecked.
Got me dinner etc. 40 mins later her teenage daughter rings with a skin emergency. Fine, can't be helped, had to go. Said to go. She said she would message me and we'd still go out.
10pm. Not heard a word. Standard birthday really.

 

[whoareyouu]

Friend I haven’t seen in years asked if I wanted to go to a gig tonight. We arranged it months ago. Text her Monday seeing what the plans were and no reply. So, guess what? Didn’t go tonight.
Like why go radio silence? You asked me!
---
Friend I haven’t seen in years asked if I wanted to go to a gig tonight. We arranged it months ago. Text her Monday seeing what the plans were and no reply. So, guess what? Didn’t go tonight.
Like why go radio silence? You asked me!

 

[Popcornshovel]

I stopped chasing the Hollywood vision of female friendship – and embraced the person I am | Tara Judah

For years I tried so hard to find that elusive band of forever friends. But maybe this isn’t a mould I was made to fit into, says film critic Tara Judah

www.theguardian.com

I thought you'd find this interesting

 

[Barbie2020]

People really are tit aren’t they. I’d honestly love to just live in seclusion away from everyone.

Got a friend who I don’t see much but chat regularly about a lot and always considered fairly close. Arranged to meet up and asked when she’s free and she said what about beginning of July? What So every single night of the weekend she is busy until then? I’m past caring with people now it’s ridiculous.

 

[hytuhh]

People really are tit aren’t they. I’d honestly love to just live in seclusion away from everyone.

Got a friend who I don’t see much but chat regularly about a lot and always considered fairly close. Arranged to meet up and asked when she’s free and she said what about beginning of July? What So every single night of the weekend she is busy until then? I’m past caring with people now it’s ridiculous.

I had a few people like this, they could never make any plan or any date because they were always booked up doing this or that. But I’d think how can you always have a million plans but we can never make a single one? The obvious answer is that they just don’t want to, but it’s so frustrating.

Another thing that’s always annoyed me is when people go out and take pics together, photos of their food/views/whatever, but when they are with you they never post a single thing. It always makes it feel like they aren’t valuing the time with me if that makes sense?

 

[Popcornshovel]

People really are tit aren’t they. I’d honestly love to just live in seclusion away from everyone.

Got a friend who I don’t see much but chat regularly about a lot and always considered fairly close. Arranged to meet up and asked when she’s free and she said what about beginning of July? What So every single night of the weekend she is busy until then? I’m past caring with people now it’s ridiculous.

Takes the piss when people suggest meet ups that far in advance!

I had (past tense!) a friend who was like that a few years ago... In the year leading up to her wedding she'd reply to messages like 'sorry, wedding planning has been crazy. How about 2nd Nov, 5th January or 24th March?'. The dates were really that far apart! By the time the wedding came around I hadn't seen her face to face for 2 yrs, despite trying to arrange something.

She even put on her WhatsApp status 'approx 2 weeks behind with messages due to wedding planning'.

The wedding was quite basic and boring (what took up all that time planning?!?). So me and my husband left early evening cos what was the point in sticking around for a friend who couldn't be bothered to meet up.

 

[~vix~83~]

I had a few people like this, they could never make any plan or any date because they were always booked up doing this or that. But I’d think how can you always have a million plans but we can never make a single one? The obvious answer is that they just don’t want to, but it’s so frustrating.

Another thing that’s always annoyed me is when people go out and take pics together, photos of their food/views/whatever, but when they are with you they never post a single thing. It always makes it feel like they aren’t valuing the time with me if that makes sense?

It’s not friends related but that last bit! My brother n wife do that! Post holidays with friends n her family but not one thing when we went away for my 40th, the other week they both did a post for a friends 50th including how much their little girl loved this person (annoying person who thinks she’s my brothers mum!) nothing for my birthday and I even had to ask for a happy birthday uncle m on my husbands birthday!

 

[Ro98]

People really are tit aren’t they. I’d honestly love to just live in seclusion away from everyone.

Got a friend who I don’t see much but chat regularly about a lot and always considered fairly close. Arranged to meet up and asked when she’s free and she said what about beginning of July? What So every single night of the weekend she is busy until then? I’m past caring with people now it’s ridiculous.

Ugh I hate that! I had a friend like that who would say she’s booked up for the whole of summer, every single evening / day & weekend? She didn’t work either. They’re all such bullshitters. I’m definitely the convenience friend, the back up 🥱 Dropped them and feel so much better for it

 

[ChickenLicking]

Ugh I hate that! I had a friend like that who would say she’s booked up for the whole of summer, every single evening / day & weekend? She didn’t work either. They’re all such bullshitters. I’m definitely the convenience friend, the back up 🥱 Dropped them and feel so much better for it

I'm so glad I am not alone! Mr Licking died on New Year's Day and I got in touch with everyone, even those I'd fallen out with/not seen for a while. One of those was a woman I'd known since the mid 90s but our personalities clashed and I was fed up with hosting when she wouldn't let me into HER house. I was a bit drunk one night and suggested that she might wish to come over and watch And Just Like That (as she's too mean to pay for streaming services) I soon changed the offer to a walk instead once I'd sobered up as Licking Towers was a mess. She told me that she couldn't fit me in for the next 6-8 weeks so I sent her a sarky text.

TL;DR - I am the asshole sometimes, but it's not great to be neglected when you're bereaved.

 

[Barbie2020]

We all deserve better! I’d rather someone be honest and say they don’t want to meet up with me instead of I’ll try and fit you in in a couple of months. Like I’m some sort of pity project! No thanks I honestly don’t even think I’m gonna text back. I cba wasting my time on people because life is way too short!

Really sorry about the loss of your husband @ChickenLicking

 

[Panda girl 04]

If it wasn't for Tattle i really would only have parter, mum and sister and my children that i talk to regularly.
I have some lovely tattle friends on here but i always over share as sometimes is just nice to speak to other people that are not family. But then i worry that i am not on here to share my life woes with them as they are strangers and have not sign up for that.
But i think when you really don't have friends you do have a habit of attaching yourself to anyone who is nice to you. Even if it is a stranger.

My deepest sympathy to you @ChickenLicking