Why cant I walk away?

[itsjustt]

Struggling here ladies.
3 year relationship, long distance mostly.

I don't want to be with him, yet don't want to be without him.
But, i do want to be without him, i just havent the willpower.

He know’s it is coming, there wont need to be the chat, yet this is not the first time and we always end up replaying the record.

I love him, i don't like him.
I don't even want to talk to him.
He isn't the man i fell in love with & he makes me uncomfortable.

Yet, i hold on and hope we get what we had knowing that it was never real even then and will never be real even now.

Dont wanna be with him
Dont wanna be without him

 

[Clickbait]

Struggling here ladies.
3 year relationship, long distance mostly.

I don't want to be with him, yet don't want to be without him.
But, i do want to be without him, i just havent the willpower.

He know’s it is coming, there wont need to be the chat, yet this is not the first time and we always end up replaying the record.

I love him, i don't like him.
I don't even want to talk to him.
He isn't the man i fell in love with & he makes me uncomfortable.

Yet, i hold on and hope we get what we had knowing that it was never real even then and will never be real even now.

Dont wanna be with him
Dont wanna be without him

This is a lot more to do with how you feel in yourself and about yourself than it does about how you feel about him I think. You don’t want to be without a man you don’t like, don’t want to talk to, who makes you uncomfortable and, you never had a decent relationship with in the first place.

Perhaps you need to unpick what it is about your past experiences and your thoughts/feelings that is stopping you from ending something that is clearly wasting your time and energy, and making you unhappy. That may help unlock the ability to walk away.

Everyone deserves to be happy and content in or out of a relationship.

 

[JodieGreen123]

Struggling here ladies.
3 year relationship, long distance mostly.

I don't want to be with him, yet don't want to be without him.
But, i do want to be without him, i just havent the willpower.

He know’s it is coming, there wont need to be the chat, yet this is not the first time and we always end up replaying the record.

I love him, i don't like him.
I don't even want to talk to him.
He isn't the man i fell in love with & he makes me uncomfortable.

Yet, i hold on and hope we get what we had knowing that it was never real even then and will never be real even now.

Dont wanna be with him
Dont wanna be without him

Did you intentionally write this as lyrics/a poem?

 

[itsjustt]

Did you intentionally write this as lyrics/a poem?

This is a lot more to do with how you feel in yourself and about yourself than it does about how you feel about him I think. You don’t want to be without a man you don’t like, don’t want to talk to, who makes you uncomfortable and, you never had a decent relationship with in the first place.

Perhaps you need to unpick what it is about your past experiences and your thoughts/feelings that is stopping you from ending something that is clearly wasting your time and energy, and making you unhappy. That may help unlock the ability to walk away.

Everyone deserves to be happy and content in or out of a relationship.

True say…
Theres a lot of myself ive been working on and i think thats why ive finally found a little strength
---

Did you intentionally write this as lyrics/a poem?

i didnt no - im glad it reads that way x

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Imo it's just the fear of the unknown and it's hard to relinquish something that you are familiar with.

But also like you said there is love and love is difficult to "throw away"

Ultimately you need to make the choice that is best for your mental health

 

[itsjustt]

I feel like I already have made the choice - like; I know this isnt what I want, not now, not longterm.
I just feel like I can't actually put a firm foot over the hurdle and get it done.
Is a detached attachment if that makes sense.

 

[rainbowlemon]

This is the most profound quote I've heard. "We accept the love we think we deserve". You put up with it simply because you don't think you deserve better.

If you're not ready to leave you're not ready. It only happens after a line in the sand is drawn where you say "enough is enough".

Eventually one day you will thank yourself for walking away despite how painful it was and all the tears that come with breakups.
---
I know I say this all the time and to everyone, but find a good therapist if you need the support to help you leave. They will help you untangle all of your thoughts.

 

[itsjustt]

This is the most profound quote I've heard. "We accept the love we think we deserve". You put up with it simply because you don't think you deserve better.

If you're not ready to leave you're not ready. It only happens after a line in the sand is drawn where you say "enough is enough".

Eventually one day you will thank yourself for walking away despite how painful it was and all the tears that come with breakups.
---
I know I say this all the time and to everyone, but find a good therapist if you need the support to help you leave. They will help you untangle all of your thoughts.

I don't know how I missed this - but girl you just touched my heart and awoke something.

I had a therapist for quite a while, not related my relationship but duck me - it felt like a pain I was forcing myself to suffer unnecessary

 

[Sunflower91]

Sometimes with therapists you have to try a few to see who’s the right fit.

what you’re going through is something I can definitely relate to. For me it was definitely the unknown, questioning if I was broken or thinking of certain things changed then I wouldn’t have to leave and I wouldn’t have lost a load of time on someone.

I think you’ve just got to put love for yourself first- it’s okay to love someone but step away and put yourself first. Treat yourself as you would your best friend- if you’d advise them to leave then you deserve the same thing for yourself. By the sounds of it, they’re leaving it as your responsibility to break the cycle and end things for good. It won’t happen overnight or even maybe in a week, but you will find happiness and feel so much better for doing it.