When did you start feeling “grown up”?

[Pixipoppy]

I’m 32 and starting to worry I’m never going to be mature. In a lot of ways I act like a grown up, I have a responsible job, a long term partner and my own flat but the thought of settling down (marriage, kids) seems so dull to me. I feel the same inside as I did when I was 23, I enjoy the same things and have the same priorities (to an extent). Did you wake up one day ready to start adulting? or are you still a teenager trapped in a grown ups body?

 

[Platypusfattypus]

14. My mum died and I had to take on a lot of responsibility. But I don't feel I've gotten any older since then.

 

[RedMagnolia]

I became a fully-fledged adult the day I had to arrange for my beloved dad to go into residential care instead of going home on his own. I wanted to rewind time and have him comfort me, instead of the other way round. Pathetic, huh?

 

[DCICassieStuart]

I'm 41 and still waiting.

 

[Ya-Mar]

I’m 41 and still don’t feel grown up. However the other day I bought a book of stamps and felt extremely grown up

 

[Sparks]

I am 40 yrs old, have a husband, 2 kids, a mortgage... I don't really feel grown up. I just fake it and hope no one finds out

 

[Belulah]

I don’t feel like an adult, I feel like I’m pretending. Even carrying a baby out of hospital didn’t make feel like a real adult!

I don’t. Not really. Sure, if I were to go to some event aimed specifically at young people in their late teens, early 20s or students then I would feel very old. Also when I’m referred to as J and C’s mum then yeah. Physically I feel I’m getting old, mentally I still feel younger and often look around for the more senior adult in a crisis. I’m 32 in Feb.

Yes I do this- especially at work before realising that person is me!

 

[Justwishfulthinking]

I don’t feel like I’ve grown up. A low point for me was being back with parents for lockdown 2020...one days I got pissed off about something. Stomped up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door...the proceeded to roar with laugher as I was being petty. My mum said she didn’t mind as made her feel 20 years younger again x

 

[Kim Mild]

When my mum stopped telling me off for putting ketchup on my sunday dinner! ( I was about 18 , she always complained when I did it before).

Both my parents died during my 30s . The death of a parent takes you into a different stage of adulthood.

 

[watermelon sugar]

I remember when I moved out when I was 18 I went and done my first food shop. I went to buy some cheese and I thought to myself 'wow, cheese is expensive' I felt grown up then!

 

[Giggling Squid]

33 here, and very similar situation to you. I have no desire to start adulting yet, but feel like I should do by now!

we got a kitten earlier in the year, and the thought of any more responsibility than that terrifies me!

 

[Ghostpumpkin]

When I started to listen to Radio 2, appreciate nice glassware and actually enjoy peace and quiet!

 

[Petulant_vlogger]

When I was 19. I went from crazy party girl to responsible step mum. I had a family over night. The youngest fell off a chair in the garden. I ran and got a first aid box and patched her up. I look up and see 2 great big, blue teary eyes staring at me. The whole world was in her eyes. In that moment she trusted and needed me so much. From that moment I promised myself that every moment of my life will be lived in service to my family. And so far, it has been.

 

[lemonlime]

Early 30s... Any day now.

Joke aside, I go between not feeling ready for anything and thinking "I'm too old for this shit." It depends on the situation, I've emotionally matured a bit later than I thought was normal but I don't know if children and marriage are necessarily linked to succeeding at being an adult. Not every adult wants a marriage or a child, regardless of how responsible or committed they are. I think adulthood comes with learning to 'check yourself before you wreck yourself', so to speak, to take responsibility of one's life and the consequences of one's choices. I definitely don't feel the way I do when I was 20.
I've been cranky about loud children and late bedtimes since I can remember though, so maybe I was just born old and don't remember changing lol.

 

[Causewaygal]

I’m 47 and I’ve never felt like I grew up. I don’t know whether it’s because I didn’t have much of a proper childhood but I can’t seem to let go of being young. I’ve got a mortgage, been married twice and I have my own business but I’m still a teenager inside ... I’m horrified about how old I actually am!
Some of the people I went to school with have grandkids and I don’t even consider myself grown up enough to have a dog

 

[NightCircus]

Late 20s/early 30s.

Although I often feel like I'm "faking" adulthood even now sometimes.

What I do like is caring far less about what other people think of me, not being so impatient and wanting everything right now, and being comfortable with things like hobbies and personal tastes however geeky and uncool they are seen as. Those are the nice aspects of ageing.

 

[Dipdab]

When it started taking about 3 days to recover from a hangover

 

[watermelon sugar]

When I was 18. I left home because my Mum is toxic. I've always been independent and grown up fast because of it.

I felt even more grown up this year when I got my first ever home (ive always lived in flats) with my boyfriend & our new baby

 

[GiftedNotFree]

I’m 31 and feel the same as I did when I was 15! It’s very weird. I’ve got as much responsibility as any other functioning adult (minus children and partner- through choice) but I still don’t feel very grown up. I still think of myself as being young(er) and when people ask me my age it takes me a minute to remember I’m not 23/23!

Sometimes this is a hindrance - at work for example, I often think I undervalue my input / experience when really I shouldn’t do that cause I’ve been working for a long time now!

 

[Skyeball]

I thought I did feel like one, until I was in my late 30s then one of my grandparents had been ill in hospital for a few weeks and my dad asked me to attend the MDT meeting to plan care.
It very quickly became apparent that my dearest grandparent wasn't going to last the week and I was family spokesperson being an NHS associate professional at the time.
So it was left to me to gently explain to the rest of the family, that it was kinder to let go and let them have a dinner one last time before we did.
I'd been raising kids for years and had a mortgage i was trying to overpay on, a job, a car and all that grown up stuff.
But I realised on that day that I had shifted up a position in the family and I was a proper grown up.
I don't recommend this shit, tbh. Over-rated.