What’s the most egregious lie anyone has ever told you?

[skronkywildcat]

Just reading all Jack Monroe’s made up tit, Dr Jessica Taylor claiming she actually designed the Ford Focus. Everyone knows someone who “was in the SAS but can’t talk about it”. Can you think of any funny ones?

This could be inspiring https://billybullshit.wordpress.com/

 

[JodieGreen123]

Awww it’s a shame this thread hasn’t taken off as I’m sure there are some corkers! Commenting in the hopes that others get involved!

 

[Pinhead Larry]

When I was in uni I used to work with a guy who was the biggest liar ever, it was hilarious to an extent.

For context
He was a big lad, bordering obesity as opposed to just carrying a few extra pounds, worked a 0 hour contract hospitality job as a waiter like the rest of us, had 2 children, lived with his girlfriend, no car.

Some of the biggest and best

• Moved to the city after living in a big house in Central London the past few years
• Was the manager of the Shard whilst working there
• Used to get propositioned by models every time they attended functions there but turned them all down
• Worked at Buckingham Palace and was well known by the Royal Family
• The queen used to request him as her personal waiter and was gutted when he left
• Learned to drive in an Audi R8
• Used to play for a premier league team in London, can't remember which one
• He was paid a salary on the same level as the supervisors, even though he wasn't a supervisor and the supervisors were all on 0 hour wages too
• He was actually above a supervisor but management asked him to wear waiting staff uniform because he's the best at both
• He was super rich, doesn't need the work and just enjoys waiting on

Depending on what mood you were in it was either hilarious or the most grating thing ever. The both of us ended up being promoted but picked up shifts in both roles. One day I was supervising and he was waiting on and he got so so mad he was threatening to walk out and then started telling everyone it doesn't actually bother him because he earns more than me anyway

Understandably he used to rub people up the wrong way, so they started giving him less shifts at work. Miraculously as this happened, his girlfriend fell pregnant. Management felt bad so put him back in on more shifts. I said to my friend, I know this is awful but I don't believe she's pregnant for one minute and I know in my soul he'll say she's miscarried in a few weeks. He did.

 

[LittleMy]

I have loads of these. I’ve worked with some right nutters.

One colleague faked getting married (it turned out they didn’t even have a partner). They also faked being pregnant and a subsequent miscarriage. They left shortly after their lies were found out and it had spread throughout the workplace. I want to say through embarrassment, but I’ve since heard they’ve done the same in another job.

A different colleague faked their sibling being in a serious accident, a coma and then dying just for time off work. We all done a whip round, bought a large bouquet, were very sympathetic. Then one of our colleagues ran into the lying colleague’s mum on their day off and offered their condolences on the loss of her son. The mum was baffled, like “what’s wrong with my son?”

The scary thing about this is that we worked in healthcare. One of these people were in a senior role too, in a position of responsibility for vulnerable people.

 

[Rosie glow]

My husbands half brother and one of his many crazy ex girlfriends used to pretend my husbands kids belonged to them when they were out,
he's now with another crazy girlfriend and they pretended they eloped to get married this year (apparently they didn't need witnesses either as nobody else was present) he's still married to someone else by the way

 

[LittleMy]

Another one faked having a toddler who they always spoke about. I didn’t know them outside of work, we were friendly enough during shifts so I had no reason to doubt them. It turned out we had mutual friends/knew the same people and when co-worker came up in conversation with a mutual friend I mentioned about their baby (the “baby” had been unwell in hospital so co-worker hadn’t been at work). They said she doesn’t have a baby, she doesn’t have any children and had no idea what I was talking about. I left the job not long after so I don’t know how it all played out and I never spoke to her again.

 

[PumpkinKing]

Firstly, I had to Google egregious
My ex (and “father” of my 2 youngest children) was a compulsive liar, he’d lie about everything but the best 2 were,
When I got pregnant with my youngest we were very on and off (I was stupid). He was the only person I had slept with around conception but he refused to believe that he was the dad. Apparently some Dr told him it was possible that the dad could be a man I slept with 5 MONTHS PREVIOUSLY!! He made me feel so stupid for not believing his little story, he was such a gas lighter.

When we were finally over for good but still amicable for our other child he told me he had a heart condition and was on medication, any sign of stress could kill him. All because he didn’t want to acknowledge the baby I was carrying and he didn’t want the woman he was currently with to find out. His family confirmed it was all bull.

As you can probably guess he has nothing to do with his children we had together and he refused a paternity test. Scumbag.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

A girl I went to school with essentially faked her own death. She'd left the school and the story went around that she'd died from an overdose - plausible, we all knew she used drugs. A few years ago I found her on LinkedIn and contacted her and said "we thought you were dead!" She said that she'd deliberately spread that story (on social media / via friends she was still in touch with) as she was embarrassed about the circumstances she and her family were in at the time

 

[JodieGreen123]

When I was in uni I used to work with a guy who was the biggest liar ever, it was hilarious to an extent.

For context
He was a big lad, bordering obesity as opposed to just carrying a few extra pounds, worked a 0 hour contract hospitality job as a waiter like the rest of us, had 2 children, lived with his girlfriend, no car.

Some of the biggest and best

• Moved to the city after living in a big house in Central London the past few years
• Was the manager of the Shard whilst working there
• Used to get propositioned by models every time they attended functions there but turned them all down
• Worked at Buckingham Palace and was well known by the Royal Family
• The queen used to request him as her personal waiter and was gutted when he left
• Learned to drive in an Audi R8
• Used to play for a premier league team in London, can't remember which one
• He was paid a salary on the same level as the supervisors, even though he wasn't a supervisor and the supervisors were all on 0 hour wages too
• He was actually above a supervisor but management asked him to wear waiting staff uniform because he's the best at both
• He was super rich, doesn't need the work and just enjoys waiting on

Depending on what mood you were in it was either hilarious or the most grating thing ever. The both of us ended up being promoted but picked up shifts in both roles. One day I was supervising and he was waiting on and he got so so mad he was threatening to walk out and then started telling everyone it doesn't actually bother him because he earns more than me anyway

Understandably he used to rub people up the wrong way, so they started giving him less shifts at work. Miraculously as this happened, his girlfriend fell pregnant. Management felt bad so put him back in on more shifts. I said to my friend, I know this is awful but I don't believe she's pregnant for one minute and I know in my soul he'll say she's miscarried in a few weeks. He did.

Sounds like Keith from The Office (UK)

Edit: or do I mean Simon?

 

[Apple In My Pie]

Girl at school told loads of stupid lies:

She was getting her own personal arcade at the side of her house (like, pinball machines, grabber machines etc)
Her father had built a rollercoaster in her back garden
Her father was famous
She was getting a pink Bugatti for her sixteenth birthday

She used to be a friend of mine and it was obvious she was crying out for attention iygwim? I just sort of shrugged her off, I knew she was bullshitting. She had a crappy home life and came from a poor family, as did most of us at that particular comprehensive school. So everyone knew she was lying. I felt sorry for her because I knew she was doing it to make more friends but everyone totally ripped the piss.

Another girl at school faked a pregnancy and then, when it became obvious there would be no baby, a miscarriage.

 

[Melian]

Someone I used to know who was desperate for a relationship with me, told me he was single. He'd phone his girlfriend in front of me. He claimed they weren't together but seemed a bit too close for my liking. Odd how after telling him no for the second time, they were supposedly back together.

 

[cococookie]

Why do people lie about having a miscarriage, horrible

 

[AlanBanan]

Omg, as a teenager. This is a bit of a confusing story so bear with me! But, I knew this girl and I knew her mother was dead from others telling me. She told me her mother was murdered in a weird way, that she was mugged, her arms were broken and then thrown into the canal so she drowned as she had no use of her arms. Of course I was horrified and felt great pity that such a thing could happen to her and her mother.

But a few months later, I was in my after school job and one of my workmates in the shop realised we also both knew her! Then the topic of her mother came up and of course I was like “I can’t believe someone could do that someone, what a horrible way to die” and my workmate was like “eh her mam died in a crash, and she told me that she was in the back of the car and watched her mother die” and of course I’m thinking she has her confused with someone else, cause she told me her mam was a murder victim.

I was confused about it for a while but clearly thinking that my work friend had her confused with another girl. No she didn’t, turns out the girls mam was never dead, she was just an addict who she didn’t have anything to do with. The story she told me about her mam being murdered was just one of the several stories she told others! Another story was that her mam got kidnapped in the Costas and murdered for witnessing a crime!

I should’ve realised she was always telling stories, she told me she was kidnapped in a Park as a kiddy and taken to a shed and her kidnapper tried to break her neck and couldn’t do it because he kept moving her neck incorrectly.

She was disturbed as well and I think abused sexually cause there was a few times she went on the missing list, and ended up on the RTE missing notice pages, but each time she’d be found with an older man and doing drugs.

Hope she’s doing well to be honest, as there was something clearly heavier going on in her life, for her to be able to conduct such stories

 

[LittleMy]

Why do people lie about having a miscarriage, horrible

Awful isn’t it? And probably more common than you’d realise.

 

[AlanBanan]

Awful isn’t it? And probably more common than you’d realise.

I know a few who clearly faked being pregnant to keep a fella around, then will pretend to have a miscarriage and quickly get pregnant for real afterwards.

Actual weirdos.

 

[Melian]

Not a big deal but I can't understand why you'd lie about this - used to have a friend who lied about the job he did. a friend of ours also thinks he's lying about his children having Autism and it's the way they're brought up.

 

[pandysbox]

I had a work colleague who I became close to for a while before I realised most of what she had told me was lies
She told me that she was from an extremely wealthy family
That her mum had 300k saved for her wedding
That she had been to uni twice
That she had been to private school
Just stupid lies

there was some truth woven into her lies so they became really hard to unpick but once I had realised she was a liar the lies were obvious.

-it turned out the car she was driving was a mobility/motability car in her mums name.
-Her mum claimed disability benefits
-when we were made redundant she hounded me for me to refer her in my new job (strange for someone so wealthy)
-She had been to uni but only once
-Twice when we went for lunch she complained about her food so it would be taken off the bill (but still ate it). I cottoned on after the second time

safe to say I no longer bother with her

she still lies now on linked in

 

[lastdis]

Wove got a friend who is a compulsive liar. The sad fact is I’m only friends with her now because her kids are sweet and come to play with mine a lot. It usually small lies about having money.
the Worse are when she says she Bought her girls prom dress. And for month the dress she posted would change. Then 2 days before prom she puts out a huge post saying she’s been let down and begging for help.
saying her food shop never came and can anyone help her buy stuff .

 

[RoseRazor]

Just reading all Jack Monroe’s made up tit, Dr Jessica Taylor claiming she actually designed the Ford Focus. Everyone knows someone who “was in the SAS but can’t talk about it”. Can you think of any funny ones?

This could be inspiring https://billybullshit.wordpress.com/

that’s funny our friend who is also genuinely in the SAS for real also said that to us. He just can’t talk about it.

I went out with a fruit loop for a few weeks who tried to convince me he was an RAF fighter pilot when he was 19, I entertained that idea for a few days for the uniform but then he ruined it by saying even more ridiculous things so I dumped him. He was violent too. Nutter. He was the worse one I met because he’d say things and I’d think okkkkkkk and look around at his friends thinking this is crazy right and they’d all be utterly enraptured by him. Think they believed him too. I’m not sure if it was a kink or a test. It was just bizarre. Nobody else questioned him except me.

I asked a science teacher once why the sea level rises when the ice caps melt and she tried to convince me there were two different types of water molecule and that the ice caps are made of special ice that expands when it melts. Which is… not the right answer at all.

Awful isn’t it? And probably more common than you’d realise.

I had a friend who did this and I parted ways when I figured it out. She lied about other things too like money and holidays but the miscarriage thing was just sick.

 

[pandysbox]

Compulsive liar do fascinate and annoy me in equal measure