Unhappy in house after 6 months

[JoeBloggs]

It sounds like you feel overwhelmed rather than you hate the house. If you could sell tomorrow what would you buy?

I would look at getting a cleaner if that would help. I would also take each room and work out what it missing from it.

Have you been able to decorate it or make it your own?

 

[DoraMaar]

Have you considered getting a cleaner - that would help you to feel in 'control' of the house. A four-bedroom house is not excessive as your family is growing.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I think if you can, step back and look at it with as little emotion as you can.

What made you buy it?
Does it have everything you need?
If not, do you need those things before baby will be say 2/3?
What do you dislike about it?
Can those things be changed?

Other things to think about, can you afford to move? Do you want to move before baby or after? Is it close to where you want to be for work/schools/family?

There is no point living somewhere neither of you really like, but if those things are the décor or layout they can be changed and you love the area then it might be worth sticking it out. If it is the road, or the neighbours or area then that isn't going to get any better no matter what you do inside.

 

[TinyDancer2602]

People rarely like change, takes time to find your flow in new surroundings. Plus life is a bit meh at the minute living in this bizarre covid world. Throw in pregnancy hormones, a small child and full time job…you have a lot going on.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Yip, everybody wants a big house until they realise they have to clean it

But on a more serious note get a cleaner in.

It’s ok of you don’t love the house. Spend time trying to make it as homely as you can. Be thankful that this is your biggest concern in life and try to find some peace until the time comes that you can move again.

Who knows how you might feel in another 6 months

 

[Kim Mild]

Does the house have an 'atmosphere ' or feeling about it?

Sometimes the anticipation and wanting something can actually be better than the reality, so it could be a bit of that.

The house will likely feel less big once there are the children running about. I lived in a large house as a child and we sort of just were used to the space.

Maybe try and keep all the things you don't use organised so it will be easier if you do list it for sale.

 

[laughing]

Defo get a cleaner.

You dont have to use all the rooms. Just shut the doors on them and leave them alone.

You will soon grow into the house.

Have you decorated at least your sitting room and bedroom and have them the way you want? That would help.

 

[Mel17]

Sorry for the late reply everyone and thank you all for your replies. I have basically went from a small 2 bedroomed home, to a huge Victorian house. It is a lot of hard work, keeping on top of house work etc while working full time, having a toddler and now expecting another! I suppose I am hormonal too which doesn’t help. It just doesn’t feel like
Home and I feel really detached from it. If I had the money I would honestly put it up for sale now and cut my losses x

 

[TinyDancer2602]

I have lived in a house previously that I never felt settled in. We had our first child while living there. I spent a lot of time at my mums. The house just never felt home. I had no attachment to it and was glad to leave it. We were there for 5 years altogether. When I had my daughter I was too busy looking after her to spend time ruminating about it. I would feel that 6 months is maybe a little soon to jump ship. I’d sit it out for a year. Purely for the fact I’d worry it would look bad if it went back on the market so quickly. Can you put your finger on what it is that unsettles you?

 

[Scotsgirl26]

Hi, what exactly is it that you think you don’t like? The layout of the house, the decor, area? What made you want to buy it? Can you think of the reasons that made you want to buy it to try & see the positives again?

 

[BettyCrockerr]

4 big bedrooms, living room and dining room, large hallway, downstairs and upstairs bathroom. It’s across 2 floors x

2 floor? So ground floor and 1st floor? Or do you meat ground floor, 1st floor and 2 floor (3 floors)
is it old inside or has it been modernised?

im still not really grasping what’s wrong with it or why it doesn’t feel homely?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

You dont have to use all the rooms. Just shut the doors on them and leave them alone.

This is really good advice. We bought our house as a couple & were bizarrely judged for not kitting out spare bedrooms for guests (sorry but who even stays overnight anywhere willingly?) but so glad they were blank canvases for when baby & the pandemic hit. If you’re under a similarly weird pressure to have everything done from family and friends pls ignore it, it’s a waste of time and resources. Also everyone’s happy to comment very few are happy to help!

Never underestimate pregnancy hormones too - you can feel really, really strongly about something and just a few weeks post birth you’ll think wtaf? Try not to make any big changes for the first 6-9 months of baby as you won’t be acting as old you would. Shut the doors & get a cleaner x

 

[coconochanel]

Could it be you don't feel homely because its big? sometimes when you have a smaller house it feels more lived in if you know what I mean?

 

[Fairypop]

I agree with others that it’s important to think about what’s making you feel unsettled and whether it’s something you can change easily. My current house didn’t feel like “home” for a long time, I couldn’t put my finger on it because everything was perfect, we had lovely neighbours etc but now I wouldn’t change it and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. For me, I don’t think it was the house but it just took time for me to feel settled and “at home”.

I think you’re probably right to give it long enough, but equally if you really are unhappy there then if it’s affordable and doable I wouldn’t rule out moving at some stage. I completely understand you wanting to wait until baby is here, I think that’s probably pretty sensible but I’ve often found myself waiting for similar big events and found that there truly is no “right time” especially if you really are unhappy about something that can’t be changed x

 

[DoraMaar]

Perhaps you could make one of the smaller rooms 'your' room - a hobby room, dressing room, reading room - your cosy place?

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Hi, I’m after some advice and also really a place to vent! We bought what we thought would be our dream/forever home 6 months ago… fast forward to now and I am so unsettled in here to the point it’s making me really down and upset. I am due a baby early next year. Me and my partner have spoke about how we both feel in this house and he says he feels somewhat the same but does not want to put it on the market yet due to only being here 6 months and expecting a baby.

what would you do if you felt like this? I appreciate 6 months is a very short period of time. I have told myself I will give it time and see how I felt after baby is here.

Can you explain exactly what you mean when you say you are feeling unsettled?

you moved in with the idea this was your forever home so what’s changed? What is making you feel so down about it? The decor/layout? Location? Neighbours? Etc

 

[Notworthy]

Getting a cleaner will be a lot cheaper than the costs of moving. 1 of the bedrooms is surplus right now so close the door and forget it exists for the moment and maybe close off 1 of the downstairs rooms. Gradually you'll expand into the spare rooms but it's just a little overwhelming right now.

 

[Mel17]

How big is “huge”???

4 big bedrooms, living room and dining room, large hallway, downstairs and upstairs bathroom. It’s across 2 floors x

 

[Podcat]

Sorry for the late reply everyone and thank you all for your replies. I have basically went from a small 2 bedroomed home, to a huge Victorian house. It is a lot of hard work, keeping on top of house work etc while working full time, having a toddler and now expecting another! I suppose I am hormonal too which doesn’t help. It just doesn’t feel like
Home and I feel really detached from it. If I had the money I would honestly put it up for sale now and cut my losses x

I've never been in this situation so I can't relate, but can understand how moving from somewhere cosy and familiar could leave you feeling unsettled in a new place.

Presumably you'll be going on maternity leave soon-ish, hopefully that will give you the opportunity for nesting and making it a bit more homely.

 

[Bexybest]

Most mortgage lenders won't offer new mortgages on properties that have completed int he last 12 months. Worth bearing in mind in case you do decide to put it on the market. You might want to wait another 3 months+.