Turning 30

I’m turning 30 in 6 weeks and freaking out. I settled down very young, had 2 children, got married and now find myself 29 with the life I thought I wanted except I am no longer in love or happy with my partner, a totally different person to I was at 20, with huge regrets and in a horrible place of do I make a horrible decision to start again at 30 or keep on keeping on. It boggles my mind that I’m almost 30 and I’m terrified of getting to 40 and thinking I wish I’d done this at 30. I gave up my career and have been a Sahm and now have no idea who I am. Sorry total dump there. But 30 feels very daunting right now

Mrspowell said:

I’m turning 30 in 6 weeks and freaking out. I settled down very young, had 2 children, got married and now find myself 29 with the life I thought I wanted except I am no longer in love or happy with my partner, a totally different person to I was at 20, with huge regrets and in a horrible place of do I make a horrible decision to start again at 30 or keep on keeping on. It boggles my mind that I’m almost 30 and I’m terrified of getting to 40 and thinking I wish I’d done this at 30. I gave up my career and have been a Sahm and now have no idea who I am. Sorry total dump there. But 30 feels very daunting right now

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You don't have to change your life completely all in one go. Could you perhaps look for a part-time job? That might help you take the first steps back into the workforce and also reclaim some of who you are. Then work on the rest gradually.

Megansnarkle said:

You don't have to change your life completely all in one go. Could you perhaps look for a part-time job? That might help you take the first steps back into the workforce and also reclaim some of who you are. Then work on the rest gradually.

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I do work in a job I love in the nhs but only once a week. I’ve been looking actually for something more of a career type job. For some reason the looming 30 seems to be personifying all my other life issues!

For some reason my scary age was 28 because I genuinely thought I’d be married with a child on the way and I was nowhere close. 30 happened and honestly it’s been great after that. Obviously at times I felt like I was running out of time to find someone and have a family but I think in general you’re more confident, take less shit and just be more secure in yourself. I’m 35 now and I’ll probably have a freak out at 40 but I’d say 30s have been my favourite decade yet. I mean there’s only been 3 but still…

Also have the party! You’ll look back and be glad you did!!

I'll be 30 in a few months and generally feeling okay about it - I've never really bought into the idea that you absolutely have to have x y and z sorted or it's the end of your life, so it's been quite easy to detach from other people trying to put that on me. I'm not where I expected to be career-wise (realised I hated the career I was training for) and as a result I'm earning less than colleagues who have been doing the same job as me for longer, but that's just life isn't it and I'll get there in time. My main worry is for my health: I have a lot of weight to lose and I'm not really taking it seriously but I know it's only going to get more serious over time, so I need to stop messing around.

I'm 31, sometimes feel really shit about where I am in my life, sometimes feel I have NONE of my shit together. Not sure if I'm happy exactly, but just not sure why. I feel like the years are passing me by and I'm just no closer to where I want to be. But then also have times where I'm like yeah I've done pretty well and my life is going ok, im in a good relationship, I have two kids, a roof over my head, an ok job ya know all the conventional things on a basic level, expect that they are never enough. I'm allways wanting the next thing or feeling rubbish about what I have as its a bit crap. I'm just rambling now hut you get my drift

HOWEVER, I will 100% say that there is no set timeline to anything, everybody goes at there own pace in life and things will come when they come.

Should absolutely listen to my own advice but

I think you truly start feeling more confident within yourself at 32. When I turned 30, I was a slightly evolved version of my 20s self, but turning 32 I’m a completely different person. My wants and needs aren’t even the same as those when I turned 30. I thought I knew who I was at 30, but I truly didn’t. I think I have a better picture of the person I want to be. I’ve also let go of a lot of people who were no longer aligning with my path and I’m happy I did. My circle is nothing like what it was at 29 but I’m absolutely happy with that.