Troublesome Teen

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Snazzy

I'm so upset, received a phone call from school to say my teenage son picked a fight with a quiet boy at lunchtime. They said others were encouraging him but that is no excuse.

I'm so upset & ashamed. Myself & my husband would never cause trouble. I was never sent to the principal's office.

What punishment do you find effective for teenagers, def taking away the wifi & PS

I'm so annoyed at him, I don't even want to look at him when I see him, I'm trying to calm down before I see him. Dentention & placed on report card, at least he might try to behave now ! I feel like crying
 
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svdwoodsen

svdwoodsen

I completely understand why you'd be upset but this can be a great teachable moment. Focus on that instead of getting upset with your son.

Definitely calm down before you see him, and sit down with him at home during a quiet time (not when you're busy running around the house, cooking and cleaning, etc.). Ask him exactly what happened and why he did what he did, and actually listen to him. Teachers aren't always right and children can be manipulative, and your son may have gotten in the crossfire and needs your support more than ever.

Be kind but firm about why it's wrong to resort to physical altercations, and tell him why he shouldn't do it again. Focus on the problem and the impact on him (i.e. why fighting doesn't solve anything, how it can negatively impact his future, provide alternative solutions), instead of guilt tripping him (not saying you will but a lot of parents do this and make the problem about them instead of their children). If your son was unfairly punished, this is a great time to teach him the "life isn't always fair" lesson but how you should still try to do the right thing and be the bigger person. Teach him how to navigate these sorts of situations if they happen again.
 
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Miss98

I echo what other users say - but also be prepared that he may be lying and say he is innocent to get out of trouble. At least you're being a good parent and doing the right thing, not turning a blind eye to this.
 
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S

Snazzy

Thank you all for your comments, very helpful and kind.

Well there was another side to the story, he said something very mean, hurtful & personal to him. I'm not excusing his poor behaviour.

He said he didn't hit or punch him, only a push, but of course I'm thinking should I believe him!

Should I let the school know that I'm not excusing him but the other boy wound him up with a very personal remark in front of others.

I am disappointed with him, such a mix of emotions, feel sorry he was hurt, you don't need a bruise to be abused.

Thanks again
 
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