Therapy - expectations

[Itsmerahrah]

Hi, I’m looking for help in regards to paying for therapy. I live in Yorkshire ( I understand London prices will be more)

I have had therapy with NHS but always felt it was cut off after 6 weeks before you’ve actually got anywhere. I have found a therapist through counselling directory. I liked her bio, her qualifications & she looked ok in her pic. Random but I have no idea what to look for. I pay £50 for 45 minutes per week.

Ok so where I need your help/advice.
What do you expect to get out of your therapist?
Do you speak in between sessions, can you call them to discuss things ( ie dr changed medication)
Worksheets/books etc to help in between ?

So far I have been with mine 13 week, no contact between sessions, I messaged once & was told boundaries need to be in place & she won’t accept anything from me until our session’s. Told to keep a diary of what I need to tell her.
we talk for 45 mins, mainly me, a few questions asked. No homework/websites/or anything for me to read on to try help myself. So I go away for a week & just write a diary of emotions.

I suffer with anxiety/low mood.

Please can you share your experiences .

Thank you

 

[veryfondoftea]

Hi

Speaking as both a qualified counsellor (no longer practising) and someone who has had plenty of therapy, I would expect there to be no contact between sessions and believe she was correct about the boundaries. I wouldn't expect worksheets unless you are having CBT or something like that.

What I would expect is that if you are feeling the need to speak to someone in between sessions that she would signpost you some services that could provide that (counselling isn't one of them). I would also expect you to feel like you are getting something out of the session. You are only there for 45 minutes out of a whole week, the real work is done when you are not there realistically so the sessions should be giving you something at least to reflect on each week. I wouldn't necessary expect homework/websites etc but I would maybe hope that if you bring up something that reminds them of a useful resource they've used before, they would recommend it to you, for example a book, article or website they've seen.

Are you finding it helpful? Do you feel a connection with her?

 

[Platformcrocs]

I agree with the reply above. I didn't speak to my therapist in-between sessions unless it was to change appointment times or her sending over any follow-up material (I did CBT, so worksheets etc.)

My therapist always said her goal was to give me the tools to manage my anxiety & panic as opposed to having an hourly appointment for months on end, and it was successful for me. She was very clear that as it was CBT, I would need to put in the work and I appreciated the structure she gave me. It was my responsibility to know what I wanted to achieve, as it wasn't for her to tell me, if that makes sense. I was given recommendations on books to read in my own time (she recommended the Overcoming series, which was useful) but I also did my own research.

I think a lot of it comes down to the relationship you have with your therapist too. I knew my therapist was the right fit from the first appointment, but some people don't gel with theirs and that's ok - ultimately it's your time and money, so if you don't feel like she's a good fit, you can always speak to someone else.

 

[Itsmerahrah]

Thank you very much both for your replies.
It’s really given me food for thought.

I’m going to mull over for a day or 2 & I will post again.

Again thank you for taking the time to reply to me