The Kearns #22 Miserable husband, but happy wife, the toothy crew are on the move, hashtag swamplyfe

[Severus Snark]

Welcome to thread #22!

Big Sez and Brandley are on the move! After the worst kept secret half-house sale ever Sezzy couldn’t help but show off her new dig with a not so cryptic humble brag. Tattle detectives took all of 2 minutes to nail the location of their new purchase, based upon Sezzys own post and the fact that we all know how the internet works, but that was a total invasion of privacy on Tattlers behalf apparently….
To the collective delight of all thread participants not only did the Cenny Coast’s most influential couple buy a perplexingly arranged collective of toilets masquerading as a house in a patch of swamp, they paid top dollar for the privilege.
Hero Dad™️ Brandley continues to be the only person in the world with a job, and now he lives on the water and spends all his time being a sick kunt pushing kids off the skate park to do flips he has no time for a big boat, so that’s going up for sale. The $1.8M house swamp debt has nothing to do with it.
Teddy the spooky toddlah turned 4, Finny nearly broke his tail bone being a hero like his Dad, and Knoxxy had 15 presents suitable for a 3 year old wrapped and piled up for Xmas his birthday, but hey #shopsmall amirite Sezzy!

 

[Watermeloncracker]

Sez logic:
not creepy to find where a micro influencer lives, her mother’s name and other information and bully her and threaten to expose this information to many people, putting a single mother and her young child in potential danger.

but it is creepy for a handful of people to find where her new house is after she posted a photo of the exact location, because she wanted people to be impressed by the exact location.

 

[Bobley_the_1st]

Hang on, does the new house not have a pool? Wasn't that the whole point of moving??

It’s on the “lake”….it has more yard, but, be interesting to see if they could actually put a pool in…..
She reminds me of hyacinth bucket from keeping up appearances, except bogan version.
Welcome to my lake side home, room for a pony. Lady of the swamp speaking. Braddles, mind the ditch dear.

 

[b!tch_eating_crackers]

Ngl, I’m actually going to miss their old house. Every time they puffed up their chests and went on a rant I’d hear my own version of the TMNT song.. “Heroes in a half house, Kearns Power”.

 

[Reggie21]

I literally can't keep up with all the posts - I love it!
So apologies for going back a few days but there's something that I need to say!

She called her "fans" creeps (lol that she thinks she has fans) for finding her address after literally posting a photo with an arrow pointing at her house. OK fine, you made a mistake by posting the photo and you want to be private. Fair enough. But in the same story, she then asks this same group of "creeps" for pre-school recommendations. WTAF!!!!!!

"You're all weirdos for finding my address - but where should I send my youngest and most vulnerable child to school? "
Really?

Clearly she wasn't upset about the creeps. She wanted the creeps to find her address and say "OMG, you're so lucky to be living in a mansion on the water!" But instead, the creeps saw what she didn't see - it's a rehab clinic with communal urinals in a swamp.

But my favourite part of that group of stories was "5 people have ruined it for the rest of the 90,000 of you".
Wait, what? Ruined what exactly? Is she saying 5 people have made her change the way she's posting and the remaining 90,000 of us are losing something as a result?

This woman, her midget man, her ridiculous posts and the witty and clever tattle comments are providing me with daily lolllllls!!

Was there life pre-tattle?!

New thread suggestion:
We’re selling the boat and dumped the bird.
Now we’re off to the swamp to polish a turd.

 

[notgifted]

They could even make a Hillybilly band :
Sezzie Snaggletooth & the Bucky Beavers - top hits include It’s a long way to the swamp if you want a nutra organics, If you liked it then you should have put a pool on it, Ten toilets baby, many more titles to yet be released, they are a secret, just DM, Like, share and save the posts and I will consider what I share and what I don’t because you are all creeps, thank you for supporting my family. Wouldn’t have the 1.8 mil to splash if it wasn’t for you all amazing fans.

 

[canijustsay]

LDB

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Oh no no no hun, that’s definitely not the most annoying thing about Brad. Not even top ten!

 

[Scrollonby]

Dear Snezzy - It literally took me less than 10 seconds to find out where your new house was! It was not hard at all. Then you further cemented the fact that you did indeed by your forever swamp by asking the real estate to remove all links to the address and sale price etc etc….

You literally share every single aspect of the kids lives - It’s not hard to see who is actually attracting the creeps and who is trying to raise awareness that you’re desperate for content and will flog your own kids childhoods and safety for a quick dollar!

You yourself as ex police should realise the dangers of oversharing your kids lives online and the predators around. You yourself would have in your career raised awareness of these dangers, made mandatory reports to DCJ over similar incidents!

You can see from a huge number of your posts that your children do not know how to exist without being filmed for content or having their lives exposed to the so called 90,000 followers. You have robbed them of their innocence and the joys of just being children!

Lastly, never think anyone is jealous of your lifestyle, I’d rather have absolutely nothing, than to have a life where my kids have been publicly exploited for money, just think of the damage you are doing to your kids, and the therapy you children are going to need as they get older.

Signed,
A very concerned mother!

Ps. Loved the reference to anyone can find out where anyone lives - Then referencing the media and celebrities - Girlfriend, you ain’t no celebrity - Just an average swamp monster - drowning in debt!

 

[DoomScroller]

Snore
View attachment 1705944

I’ve translated this post.

I love being loved by you. But I won’t say I love you in a post. Ick.

Traditional gifts are for people who actually care about their partners…. This is not us.

We spent out day bickering and yelling at each other, just like any other day. I said jump and you how high?

I literally couldn’t have thought of a better way to spend it.

Happy 11 years Brandley. Here’s to drowning in debt for the rest of our lives.

 

[Severus Snark]

She’s not mad that the house was found, she’s mad that the house was found and we all laughed at it.


Without the real estate listing we would never have found out that the main bedroom exits into the garage, the majority of the land is a swamp or have ever been shown the cult/rehab toilet situation.

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Can’t wait for the social blade stats for tonight

Watching Sarah and Brad lose followers is my love language

 

[vanilla latte please]

Such a random thing to say “spent the whole day laughing”

I find that hard to believe. Code for I didn’t know what else to write so I made it sound like we had fun

I don’t think I’ve ever spent my whole day laughing ever & i am a self declared funny person.

In the almost 20 years my husband and I have been together- we have only moved twice. I like to think we have a pretty solid relationship. During those two moves when it came to packing no one was laughing - we weren’t yelling at each other- but no one was laughing either

 

[Needtocommentonthis]

Sarah looks like she’s picked up a job in aged care with those scrubs on

Babe, you basically posted your address. It isn’t that easy to find where anyone lives. It really isn’t. Being curious about your move is no less creepy than people caring about you child’s haircut.

Dream house. Keep telling yourself that

I also found their new house within a few minutes.
I actually have found most influencers homes,
To influencers reading here who think you are being secretive with your information, you’re not. Just occasionally you may post a tiny snippet of information and suddenly anyone can find you.
I’m not a creepy person, I’m a married mother of 3, I find it interesting to see if I can find things out when I’m nap trapped with my baby. I’m not posting this in a nasty way but if I can find your home then I guarantee a sicko who develops an interest in your child will definitely be able to find out where you live. I just can’t imagine wanting to put my kids at risk like that and being so chill about it. Yes Sarah the media know where celebrities live, but celebrities don’t profit from posting photos and videos of their kids and you aren’t a celebrity with extra security and living in a gated community. You are an average person putting your children in harms way every time you post something online about them..
The Kearns were the easiest to find, followed by Sophie and Olivia White. Then Rebecca Little and Jules Coffey. Mel Watts was a hard one but she slipped up one day. I cant find Abby Gilmore - good for you Abby

 

[Fostercat24]

Shrek and Fiona purchased their very first swamp together.... with a very unique bathroom

Can I please confirm which one is Shrek and who is Fiona?

 

[justjumpingonhere]

No “obvious fracture” means no fracture. Doctors are astoundingly good at, you know, doing X-rays and stuff. They can spot a fracture pretty easily. If they can’t spot a fracture, there is none, and you are making a big fuss over absolutely nothing except a kid who hurt himself and is now fine.

So save your tips, they don’t need them, because he has not broken anything

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Just going to leave this year. Dead children are not an opportunity for content and engagement. It would take three seconds to google an answer, why is anyone messaging Sarah and why on earth does she think it’s okay to repost?!

 

[Severus Snark]

Thread suggestion - The Kearns 23:Ads galore, her content is a bore, she’s losing followers by the score. Sez thought we’d all be jealous, but her dream house sux, amirite fellas?

 

[Cheesecakelover]

Did anyone see Mel Watt's post yesterday. She said people were asking where she was cause she wasn't posting. She said now her kids are older and not keen on being filmed, she has nothing to see. Said she doesn't want to embarrass them or cause issues at school. Maybe Sez, Emmylou and Chompers should think about this too.

 

[FeelsLikeBudder]

Hello what? You are a creep if you found my swamp but if you know where it is recommend me a preschool but don’t go looking. IYKYK. What is this fuckery you condescending bish ???