The Chateau Diaries #45 And they say WE have a lousy life..

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Anna from the Fleuries is sanding her gardenfurniture because it was a bit stained after standing in the weather last summer...She said it was too embarassing to let the guests sit on them like that..she sanded them and put some oil on it...even new fabric because the old has lost its colour through the sunlight...It looked nice again..

Looking at Fan Flash her gardenfurniture...she doesnt bother at all...its all crappy and dirty...they even let the birdshit stains on...for guests to enjoy their dinner...eating from spode...sitting in poo...

 

[Seeingitasitis]

Dear Philip. Tonight there were zero snorts and zero comments from behind the camera. This is how we like to roll.

 

[Kat-the-Great]

Stephanie is complusive hoarder, when she sees some bright and shiny thing she wants she just buys it. Her mother used to stop her, but she is hiding away in South Africa. There is no one to restrain her from starting new projects, only her mom or Michael could do it. Her enablers, like Philip, are in her pay so they will never object. I'll bet she is overextended financially and cannot complete all the projects she has started. Every month she waits to see what her Patreon or YouTube income is and then starts juggling her bills. If anything happened to Patreon or YouTube her whole house of cards would collapse in a few weeks. She has NO income other than those two sources and regulators could cut them off at anytime. Ever since her mom left she has been out of control and without supervision which would be very exciting to Stephanie after so many years of control by her.

Stephanie lives off of her YouTube revenue. It covers her staff and personal expenses. When she adds a new vlog it can earn her up to $300 each. The more she creates the more she makes. The vlogs loose value over time as they loose visitors. She has a healthy subscriber base, but there are only so many potential chateau subscribers. Stephanie needs to travel so she can create more blogs. Visiting other chateaus means you are getting free content and room and board for you and your staff. Nothing is happening at Lalande - so traveling means your patreons can't checkup on you. In a sense she is "on the run" from anyone checking on her process in finishing things.

 

[Linus]

I'll leave this right here!
View attachment 664688

Any day now...

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

we've been wondering that since January, so I guess his patrons are going to keep donating to him forever

He never wanted to live in that cottage. He wants to live in a City full of drugs and boys. He’s done everything he can think of to be away from it since Christmas. Remember when he was going to design fabric and wallpaper? Remember when he was so into drawing? He’s so full of shit.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Has anybody mentioned yet SJ’s insanity of starting her Christmas preparations before summer has even started? In her last vlog she said she and Snorty Snort had a meeting with Andie about Christmas. I know there’s lots of commercial organizations that have to start planning early, but they usually do this behind the scenes as to not spoil any surprises. Not SJ, who is clearly obsessed with Christmas. Nothing to be ashamed of, but to constantly let us know she and her shittoo are an important entity in the celebrations is not just overstating it, it’s ridiculous. It will start a whole new stream of Christmas crap that people will send her, and that’s obviously the real reason behind her mentioning it over and over again. With everything already said about her gift grabbing (bad for the environment, outrageously cruel to pretend it’s for charities other than herself, her fake performance of pretended surprise and gratitude) that is definably something to be really ashamed of.

On her patreon page I see SJ is still promising, even to the lowest tiers, an “annual invitation to a Summer Open Day at the Chateau de Lalande to see the progress of the renovations and to meet with me and the rest of the Lalande team!”
We all know how excellent SJ’s track record is when it comes to making good on promises, so has the invitation for this year gone out yet?

 

[Marten]

From "Tour the unrenovated private wing of this chateau".
Take a deep breath, Lanie.

 

[KiKiGee]

Too much?????? No, never too much at Lalande.

SJ and BJJ can play hide and seek, in plain sight.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

I'll leave this right here!

 

[Seeingitasitis]

I agree. This walpaper needs plain, fresh and simple colors to match with it.


Is Ryan leaving France ? Noooooo ! What a loss for France (Sorry UK friends)


Yves Delorme is a luxury in France too. Not everybody sleeps in Yves Delorme beddings. She really thinks she's a princess. Unbelievable that so many people support her in her delusions of grandeur !

The scales are further falling from my eyes. When Steph visits other chateaux, the guests are the priority and the living quarters of the owners are usually very modest, or last on the list. Here we have Steph in luxury bedding whilst paying guests are on bedding from the brocante...and the grotty garden furniture is now an embarrassment. That fringed umbrella/sunshade/rag - really?

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

Marie’s meals are so very wrong for the time (summer) and place (French countryside)-this globby mess she served looks like she is feeding the farm hands-root veg and over cooked chicken parts

can’t she make lemon chicken and a locally sourced veg with a fresh fruits and cheese platter

or maybe a lovely cheese soufflé and salad with a sorbet garnished with berries for desert

she keeps worrying about her charcuterie and wants grapes (a late summer-autumn harvest fruit) she could use currants or dark berries both of which should be plentiful right now

her food textures are all off-kilter too, everything looks like it’s being fed to folks with no teeth

if she indeed has trouble reading recipes she should try YouTube vlogs showing step by step how to prepare French summer cuisine-(she certainly knows how to use YouTube-it’s where she parks her Beglogs and Manifestation Musings)

if her Lazyship or Little Boy Bumkisser or even Nati the Catty had any talent for running a B&B they’d hire a local chef on the weekends-not leave meals to a novice who doesn’t know the area, cooking or presentation, let alone sourcing local ingredients

sorry to rant about food-it’s just annoying to see people who thought they might get a lovely French meal be served sh*t on a shingle

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Oh, to be waist-deep in cadeaux!
Don't bother cleaning and clearing your chateau of junk, Stephanie Jarvis. We all know that's nothing but a pointless exercise.
Admit it, you're a hoarder with a monstrous appetite for stuff you don't need. You're welcome.

 

[Milre]

I can even imagine there is no budget at all. Flowerkiller has to cook, so let her do the groceries. If she wants money for it in return, my guess is she has to be brave enough to ask for it. SJ would just say: you can use anything in the garden...

Haha, yes, some people are like that. I once met by coincidence a friend with her kids while hiking so we spent the day together and the kids got along very well. It was a lovely day, even more since we met and the kids had so much fun.
So when it was about to separate the kids wouldn't want to and my friend asked what plans we have. I said only going home and cooking something yummy, she is welcome to join us. But since she had another 25km to drive to my place and back again she suggested to have the same meal at her place so the kids could play some more, also she would like to learn to cook this dish- if I don't mind a quick stop at the supermarket because she needed to buy some groceries for it. Sure...
In the end she presented me the bill for our part of the food which I cooked for 4 more persons at her bad equipped kitchen with groceries I helped her shopping on a Saturday late afternoon after an excursion instead of cooking with my groceries I already had in my great kitchen only for my family. So what lesson did the universe want me to learn I asked myself ?... And no, I didn't pay her... those expensive coaching lessons where I learned to say no finally paid off

 

[TheTaxInspector]

From now on wedding vows exchanged in the chapel in Begmania will read as follows: for betterer, for worser, for richerer, for poorerer ...

 

[Gibson]

Breaking news from FRK:

Here are the recipes you've all been gagging for:

Dear fans, I am writing in English as you all know this is my preferred language. So please don't tell me to translate as I won't. After many requests I have finally decided to make my super recipes available to you all. They go down a storm at the Chateau de lalande.

Pea puree:

Take a handful of petite pois and bash them. You can add some oil or water to make them runnier. I prefer a hard mash.

Asparagus puree:

Take a handful of asparagus and put them in boiling water then when cooked, usually about five minutes, bash them hard.

Roast potatoes: I love them with some of those green plants from the garden. Peel and boil the potatoes, then bash them around a bit. Pour oil over and cook in oven. It has to be hot. Add your green plants.

Roast chicken: I prefer free range preferably just dead. Pluck quickly and gut. Give it a good wash. Bash in some salt, and butter. Cover and put in a hot oven till it smells good.

Serve with pureed mash or Roast potato. If you want to add some colour, think about adding flowers or some green from your garden.

Smashed tomatoes are a good side dish as is anything you can find. I often forage in hedgerows as I find the aesthetic looks good on the plate or a chopping board for that extra touch.

I like to talk to the vegetables as I prepare them. I don't know about you, but I find it puts me in a good place.


Serve with a lovely jam jar of oat milk sprinkled with nuts for energy or just put nuts on the plate.

Send in your photographs and let me know what you think.

Love Marie Wiik

 

[Pekey]

Will SJ STILL be talking about curtains today?
Maybe a funeral for the pea chick?
I can't think of one thing she could video.
The crew are all out vacationing....

Question#4555
For any of you Patreons....does she put out a Patreon video EVERY WEDNESDAY???? Or just once monthly? Did they EVER get water to the dried up dead garden beds? Is Selmar REALLY going to build the chicken village or did Boy Wonder snag free chicken housing from some poor sop?

Good Morning ...... we are now in our 5th Lock Down where I live in Australia .... no going out for 5 days!

I am going to entertain myself with a touch of FRK cooking from her new book that Gibson told us about . Yummy
I am going to put up a Ciel de Lit over my bed and then drape it with a tea towel that is printed with toile de jouy (its the only thing I have... better than nothing )
We will be digging a lake in the backyard and .... wait for it ...... filling it up !!! I am fancying black swans .... they poo a lot too !
I am going to train my sweet Pekingese dog to run faster like a French dog .... this will be good !
We can go out for walks so in this hour I will snap off any of my neighbours plants I fancy and get out old jam jars and artistically arrange sad pilfered foliage a la FRK !
I shall be planning my Christmas as I believe this is very "trendy" to do lately!
Only one person per house can go out once a day and then they can only travel 5 kilometres from home so hubby and I cannot shop together a la Snorts and SJ .... sad. No OpShops either .... even sadder !!!!
When all this is done I have my dear Tattler family to keep my eye on just like IJ does !

 

[Seeingitasitis]

I wonder if Michael isn't into some sexual perversion that he has to pay escorts to do to him. WS? BD? SM? CD? There is something "off" about him and his personality. Maybe he dresses up like Stephanie wen he has sex. Years ago he used to do pornographic illustrations of animals with human tits.

In the interests of research, I looked up the WS and CD terms as I had no idea what they meant. I went onto a site that explained sex terms used by gay men. As an heterosexual woman married for 34 years, I can honestly say I did not think there was much that could shock me. Here is my advice - don't go searching if you have. like me, led a sheltered and vanilla life. By the time I had read half way through an extensive list, I nearly passed out.

 

[Espe]

I don't buy into it. SJ is wagering on the sentiments of her fans.

I honestly thought she was about to say that someone (a human) had died! "I don't know to tell you this,..", plus the tears, etc., etc. What a charlatan and then BJJ taking her a special tray. She really is despicable. Wait for all the stupid fans to send their deepest sympathy. Of course, it's sad but she has never shown any interest in any animals or she would have thought of doing what Kirsty suggested a long time ago in order to protect them. Kirsty was sensible saying it was sad but that these things happen, she clearly cared and she was the one to search for it in the rain, but there was no false drama from Kirsty. SJ had more important things to do: making the curtains, rather than looking for a little pea chick. Those were crocodile tears; SJ really is a charlatan chatelaine.

 

[KiKiGee]

I tried to watch success stories...

 

[Clara Burnett]

someone needs to give that women a good smack on the back of the head!

She needs so much more than that. Again and again I am appalled by her lack of responsibility. And now the audacity to present the death of that pea-chick as a personal tragedy, that she needs to be comforted from by lunching with her lapdogs' outdated crockery to cheer her up, which, it actually does, low and behold. No, she doesn't need to go out to look for her favorite darling, she leaves that kind of annoying tasks to her garden staff. If Kirsty wasn't as kind and friendly as she seems to be I'm sure SJ would have put the blame for the tragic disappearance on her, she should have taken better care. Who knows, she might even use it to finally get rid of Selmar, rather telling that he was nowhere to be found in this drama. There's one simple rule, which she can't seem to get in that hollow head of hers, despite the many tragedies already occurred: If you can't properly take care of animals, don't have them around. What a lowlife!