The Chateau Diaries #399 Tattlers do care about people and their well-being. Who we don't care for are grifters!

UvulaDonor · Mar 24, 2026

Lady Avonlea said:
€600+++ for this oversized pink Pepto Bismol mirror that does fit or suit anywhere in the shitoo. No matter, lets spend more money and repaint it. Whose going to do that work for you Fanny? More $$$ down the drain for this non-bargain.
Fanny, stop pretending your unlisted farmhouse is a grand French chateau - it never was and never will be!
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It reminds me of those little clocks in the shape of Mosques that send out the call to prayer at the right hour.

PrincessHighness · Mar 24, 2026

Porcelain, books, and Mirrors! Too bad Skiddy and PP dont truly look in a mirror and take a really good look at themselves.

NotAChatelaine · Mar 24, 2026

Lady Avonlea said:
Fanny claims that hundreds, if not thousands, of viewers regularly email her. While I don’t believe a word she says, I recall all the fools who sent tons of crap to Fanny during Cadeaux, so maybe the synchopants are writing - who knows! Although, I do wonder where all that crap is stashed now?

It’s obvious the majority of the Q&A sessions are prepared questions Fanny & Snorty dream up so they can control the narrative, foreshadow future events & drive content. The Q&A sessions are also great time wasters when Fanny has no other content.

When my Patreon conked out three weeks ago, I was only 2/3’s of the way through the Q&A. (I realize most of us would consider that a blessing). Anywho, I went back and watched the remainder of the Q&A vlog Fanny did in SA. Enjoy!View attachment 3933302 View attachment 3933301

Kitchen Update (This verbal diarrhea shows how to bury the lead and say a lot without saying anything at all)

Philip, you’re so talented, in many areas (Snorty interjects - that’s so sweet of you) have you thought of getting some formal education in interior design and/or architecture?

Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So before I became an actor, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting, and I ended up going with acting because I don’t know why actually.
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Oh yes, I know why! I remember now. It’s because I decided that I didn’t want to make things for other people.”
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Fanny interjects, “I know you have the vision to do it. I mean your kitchen still blows me away every time I walk into it.”

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Snorty stutters, “I, I, I think, I’m really quite happy with it, yes. Somethings, somethings, actually need finishing because they haven’t come back to finish yet. A lot of people were waiting for a kitchen in time for their Christmas, and such, and they (assume TWKC) were trying to rush back.
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Fanny interjects, “and we weren’t in a hurry”
Snorty, “So we told them to take their time, finish the other ones first, who don’t have a kitchen yet, and come back and finish ours. So that should hopefully be before the season starts”.
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Fanny chimes up, “Yes, like I feel like we haven’t seen the full vision like of your other rooms because they’re still works in progress.
Snorty, “Yes, Yes”
Fanny, “because the Grand Salon and the Dining Room are HUGELY your plan, and for where the paneling is going and how it’s all going to look”
Snorty, “It’s going to be really, really good. I hope so”
Fanny, “Yes, it’s going to be spectacular.”
Snorty, “And maybe because we’re doing it at laLande, it will make me feel as those other things/visions??? have been completed “
Fanny, “You’re very good at taking feedback, my feedback, we very much work together on it, but I don’t know if that’s because we’re together, or….
Snorty, “And I’m very much working for you in that sense”
Fanny, “Yah, but we do have quite a shared vision.”
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What fool has agreed to clean the shitoo?
Is there a new house cleaning replacement for Mary Poppins?

Fanny, “There is! Well, there is a plan for one. A very exciting plan, but until it comes fruition I won’t tell you who it is. Yes, Yes, there is a plan for somebody else to join us.” (Sucker!)
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Gardens (The Truth – Fanny admits she isn’t a gardener )
With the changing winter weather, how are the gardens and woods coping? (Fanny doesn’t give a flying fuck).

Fanny looks stumped…..she hesitates before saying, “you’d have to ask Omberline and Pavlina that question. They look wintery. Twig like. Very few green leaves, except on the evergreens. I’m not a gardener…haha….this is why I can’t actually answer that question. It’s a time of preparation. I know Omberline and Pavlina have done so much to prepare all of the vegetable beds ready for Spring and all the planting, which should be very soon now."
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Water for the Gardens (Fanny's spews enough BS to fertilize the grounds for the next 2 yrs)
How are you dealing with the upcoming warmer Summers and your need for garden water supplies?
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Fanny gets very serious “Well, it’s a two-pronged approach. First, we’re getting quotes for a better watering system which we feel we do need in the future, but which we feel I can’t afford right now with the Grand Salon and the things that are going on there at the moment, but we’re getting the quotes and starting to plan for that."
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"And the other, Davy is planting increasingly drought-resistant plants when we do new areas of the garden, specifically because we’re having these problems year on year”

Snorty pipes up, “Also then I noticed some of the newer plants then need extra watering at the beginning, but I think we’re past that for most of them. Once they’re established."
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Fanny, “Yes, once they’re established, they’re ok. For example, the woodland garden, Davy has always planned for fairly drought-resistant plants, but in the first few years, they need watering. So it’s been quite difficult. We lost a few plants in that year. We’re replanting, but the ones that did make it through should be all the stronger for it because it means they send their roots farther looking for water, and they’re stronger for it for all the years to come."View attachment 3933517 View attachment 3933491

Snorty, Mr. Green Thumb, says, “And Davy has also changed the plants. The ones that didn’t do well. He has it replanted
Fanny, ” Well if it didn’t do well it wasn’t happy here, so let’s find something that will thrive, and so many of the other things are thriving, and sometimes we say that did really well so lets replant that in the area that this died so its starting to take its own more natural form I think.
Snorty, “Taking cues from nature”
Fanny, “Yah, absolutely. You have to these days”
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Don't Like Excessive Tariffs - (The Solution - Just Stop Buying the Crap Fanny's Selling)
I love everything that I have ordered from Jarvis Jannsen Collection, but living in the UK I get clobbered by FedEx with tax for each item. Import tax. Is there any way around this?

Fanny, “I’m sure it is. No! Those of you who know you’re coming to the shitoo in future you can always say can you hold it at the shitoo and pick it up when you come. We don’t know any other way around it since Brexit it has become increasingly complex.
Snorty, “The only way to do it. It’s import tax. It’s not something that we charge. It’s something the UK charges or ah….”
Fanny, “It’s not part of our shipping costs. It’s separate that the UK charges on import”
Snorty, “So the only way around it would be to have a store in the UK”
Fanny, “Which we don’t at the moment”
Snorty, "But we can't right now"
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Fanny, “Whilst were talking about J&J I just wanted to let you know that Philip and I have started going through everything ourselves and contacting those of you who hadn’t heard back from support and J&J.com. So we’ve got about halfway through the list. So, many of you would have heard from us. We went through the comments and made a list of all of your names and we’ve got about half way through that.

So, if you haven’t heard from us, you will hear from us within the next week. If you haven’t heard from us after a week than please do email Marie@chateaudelalande.com, because it means that you’re not on our list, because we’re halfway through our list. Do check your spam, because it’s not going to you from support@jarvisjannsen.com, so check your spam.”

Who Messed Up the Kitchen Design? – Apparently That would be Fanny!
Is the rail still to be installed for the Area Cuisine (scullery) for the ladder?

Fanny, sounding genuinely shocked exclaims, “You know we haven’t thought about that. So no, it’s not, and I wanted to explain this…..when we’re in the kitchen the first reason was that when the ladder arrived it didn’t fit in the little cupboard. The little cabinet side bit. The ladder was really quite strong and heavy to be very safe I suppose, on the systems.
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And then we were like, okay, we can just lean it against it there, or like hook it on the outside of it, but then when I tried to lift it and carry it through to the other room – to the pantry – I realized I was effectively walking towards a glass cabinet that’s filled with porcelain, with a javelin. (Ha, Ha, Ha….. ....all a big joke) with this massive heavy thing going like 1.5/2.0m in front of me, at an angle, to get under the doorway, and I had to at the last minute try and lift it so it wouldn’t touch the cabinet in front - because that is an accident waiting to happen – and within a week we would have lost the cupboards."
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Snorty adds, “Also it came in the wrong colour and they couldn’t make the colour when we asked for it”
Fanny, “Yah, the manufacturers didn’t send what we had wanted, so we actually realized, somewhat embarrassingly, that the system that was best was the one which we had in the first place. So we’re just using the stepladder that we had in the first place.
Snorty, “Maybe in the future we can get a brass rail and I can find one that’s a much lighter wooden one.”

Fanny makes it sound like she hasn't already been living at the shitoo for the past 20 years!
Fanny, “But now having lived in a place, and I think this happens quite a lot when you have something new in your space, is that when you start using the space you realize how you use it, and I think it would be annoying to have a ladder that you have to keep moving out of the way of the dishwashers, or…..it was a lovely idea and it looked so beautiful, and I really pushed for it because I love the idea of that, but I think it would be impractical. I’ve had to let my baby go on this one”.

Teabag and the Wallpaper (Listen Carefully)
Are you still planning to put the wallpaper in the kitchen and in the back hallway? (Fanny was very cautious answering this, as though she didn't know what she should/shouldn't say, and shut her mouth tight a couple of times when Snorty interjected because she wasn't sure what he was about to blurt out)
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Fanny, “YES, YES WE ARE!

Snorty, “Speaking of wallpaper, any ETA on the kitchen wallpaper?”

Fanny, “Yes, well we don’t have the ETA, but Teabag contacted me and told me that he has managed to raise everything that he needs to get the wallpaper for the kitchen by selling beautiful samples that we had made when we went to Antsey, and, and I’m so excited because they are so beautiful, and I think we’re going to have some to put somewhere in a row. It means that the wallpaper is going ahead, and I’ll be meeting Michael in Tours. I don’t have the exact date yet, but when it is I will film everything for you because we’re really going to one of the finest manufacturing factories in France. This really is a VERY big deal.”
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Daddy’s Porno Tiles
What about your father’s tiles for the splashback?

Fanny, “Yes, we haven’t done those yet. We’re waiting to get the wallpaper installed. Then we’ll get Sergei back to finish off all the little bits that need finishing, and then after that we’ll get exactly the sizing that we have and then it will be GO on Daddy’s tiles. They will be definitely going into the kitchen. So, it’s very exciting.

Snorty, “So many projects”.

Fanny, “And it’s already my favourite room in the house and it’s just going to get better”

Snorty, “It’s going to be wonderful. There are still some questions here, but I think that’s enough for today. If anyone has any further questions, please put them in the comments of this video. ”
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They go downstairs to pre-dinner drinks & hamburger night with the family. Fanny says their luggage was delivered 5 days after they arrived (really, why didn’t Fanny film it arriving?)
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Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So before I became an actor, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,

skybluepink098 · Mar 24, 2026

I don’t follow the Pethericks, so I don’t think I have seen Billy before but he really looks terrible.

graciemckitten · Mar 24, 2026

CD FACEBOOK COMMENTS PAST WEEK
lizzy
5 minutes ago
But won't fixing the windows help maintain the life of the furnishings by keeping the damp and cold out?

What planet are they living on? Of course, Planet Stephanie with her endless spending orbit.

You never seem to stop buying things

Susan I agree. It seems they are constantly spending & proud of it. With such destruction, trauma & want in the world, it seems a bit over the top indulgent, no matter which way you look at it.

s. b. it also gets boring to watch

andrea I agree. I used to quite like them when their posts were about creativity or beauty. Now it's about their endless consumption. It's hard to feel anything but annoyance with their insensitivity.

sue
It will be a nice library, just a pity it will take another 5 years to install
Just like the dinning room and grand salon
Is that why your loosing so many patrons as your not making steps forward with building.what happened with the chapel?you said works start again early January and here it is the end of March?

patricia wait-is that why we never see the chickens anymore? Why wouldn’t they say something? The chickens were so heavily featured! To lose a flock twice? That is unbelievable

s. Peacock
It will give “poor Philip” something to do between carrying the dog around, admiring himself, posing, and unpacking from the seemingly endless holidays and trips! Feel sorry sorry for him whilst Steph dances about and does smiley face until the next sponsored. vacation The fact is that Amaury, Dave the dishwasher and the kitchen dwellers do all the hard work in that Chateau

laura c
Shirley Peacocke this “ library” will sit in storage for years. Actually it will be moved around when Phil gets one of his whims to move things around. And you know who will do the heavy lifting, Amaury. Just another unfinished project .

danny
Philip should look behind one of the book shelf.. it's a Rothshield

michael s
Always buying always spending
I'm wondering where all this money comes from

michael s
wendy. I fully understand that.I live in France amongst people renovating chateaux and houses who struggle because of lack of incoming funds I love Steph but the question arises when she says that they don’t have much cash and yet they travel quite a lot and buy loads it doesn’t seem to pan out all we see from her blogs is spending and hair transplants don’t come cheap

shirley
michael what I thought. A bit conspicuously greedy in a world full of carnage, hunger & terror.

You guys have ants in your pants... you're seldom at the chateau for very long

s peacock
Must be nice getting up every day knowing you don’t have to work and get fully funded for endless holidays and renovations to your chosen home for boring, getting worse content and struggling to entertain videos. Marie is a crap stand in host on Stephanie’s can’t be arsed moments btw. She’s like that ditsy blonde woman on Vicar of Dibley

I was shocked when I saw all that furniture in a metal shipping container. The chateau is so large they must have a room especially for storage for antique furniture.

eek precious furniture in the mud
How do you not get them all mouldy in that container

The shipping container should be insulated and have ventilation if they want to use it for storage else things will be ruined.

heather
linds all Stephanie said was “a non-La lander left the gate open”
. Now which non-la lander would do that? The only person that was there at the time was the guy building the arches in the garden. It’s a total fabrication.

I hope Phil didn’t break a nail

wendy
hesther why do you bother?…you never have a nice thing to say about anyone..why not go watch a show and people you actually like

wendy__ You are a paid social media sycophant

katrina
Would love a question and answer session.
When will the tiles and electricity in the beautiful chapel arrive?
Will the little fountain by the chapel have water this spring?
There seem to be a few unfinished projects, it would be interesting to hear what the hold ups are

zow
katrjna A FEW unfinished projects..?! Name me ONE finished project!

heather
zoe the only finished project is Phil’s hair transplant

barbara
Phillip has that innocent look down to a science

heather
Barbara. Yes, he is such a phony

heather
Buying more stuff

myra it’s all they do. With Patreon money

myra
heather. its absolutely not. I am a Patreon and I know exactly where the money goes. Also slander is an offence where I live. If you don't have a clue, best keep your mouth shut
]
d.p.
,\myra really. I am too and I have no idea where it goes. As far as I see in shopping..nothing is ever done and for the big projects they do fundraiser

lois oh yes I do. I can say many things, doeant make them truth. I stopped being Patreon this week

dp
heather no one in his age with literally no experience or education would have that lifestyle. He is apparently employed, well his salary must be galactic

dp
heather they are not really even interested in renovating, half a year they are gone and none of them habe ever worked a normal job

heather
do no they just make it look like they’re renovating to keep the patreon money flowing in

dp
Heather exactly, I felt so exploited and there is a whole group of people who feel like that and know a lot more about the whole business

dp
serendipityI dont. As far as I see its shopping, travelling, drinking and food. Its unbelievable and outrageous.

dp
Dee but she spends more than what you ear on Youtube and I know very well how much you earn there with the adds and sponsorships. Also what she says and does in reality are 2 different things. And again for the big projects she does fundraising eventough her income on patreon for a months is above 35 grand a month. With that money you dont need fundraising selling overpriced articles

dp
Dee and you guys believe literally anything. I wasn't unkind..you have no idea what it means to be unkind. You should come to the East Europe. I said the truth based on mere observation that many, many people have noticed since her patreon numbers sink, viewer numbers dont grow (all the other channels outgrew her and look how they work hard and live) and its a legitimate question when you base your income on the others and their donations. I think its reasonable to ask some questions. Just compare the first vlogs with these

ImportantAd69 · Mar 24, 2026

Radix Malorum Est Cupiditas!

Are they just rage baiting at this point?? Every single episode is the same thing - "Hectic Days" of shopping. Non stop shopping. Every day. All day. And when they're not shopping, they're dreaming about shopping, or shopping online. And just for the record, they got ripped off buying the ugliest mirror in the history of mirrors, and it's hilarious that it doesn't fit. Who needs to measure when you have bad taste? I wouldn't even mind the shopping if they bought nice things but everything is just screamingly tacky.

On Repeat · Mar 24, 2026

ImportantAd69 said:
Radix Malorum Est Cupiditas!

Are they just rage baiting at this point?? Every single episode is the same thing - "Hectic Days" of shopping. Non stop shopping. Every day. All day. And when they're not shopping, they're dreaming about shopping, or shopping online. And just for the record, they got ripped off buying the ugliest mirror in the history of mirrors, and it's hilarious that it doesn't fit. Who needs to measure when you have bad taste? I wouldn't even mind the shopping if they bought nice things but everything is just screamingly tacky.
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Radix Malorum Est Cupiditas - Greed is the root of all evil.

Here's one for the Oxford attendee.

ImportantAd69 · Mar 24, 2026

On Repeat said:
Radix Malorum Est Cupiditas - Greed is the root of all evil.

Here's one for the Oxford attendee.

Oops. Thanks, I forgot to translate it...

Pekey · Mar 24, 2026

OMG that is one ugly pink mirror and so much of it too !

Tell me Hags and Hell Hounds........ why didn't Fanny give Hedgehog Boyfriend a big

after he gave her that strange tulip vase thingy ????

Marie Antionette · Mar 24, 2026

So after Fraudie and the Poncing decorator-extraordinaire screw up the measurements for the library and realize it won’t fit they then go to pick up the cheapest made knock off piece of garbage mirror ever sold in France. Its so bad - it’s made with two mirrors instead of one solid mirror piece, the finish nails that attach the architectural details are showing everywhere. (They’re supposed to be counter-sunk and filled in with plaster). The back of the mirror looks like it was pieced together with reclaimed barn wood. Then they realize that it doesn’t fit either.

But there’s two other places they could maybe fit it into. BUT the prancing snorting poncer manages to save the day and buy himself some monogrammed diapers.

M&MsMom · Mar 24, 2026

NotAChatelaine said:
Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So before I became an actor, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,

As if him trying to decide whether or not to go to school for architectural studies means he's some sort of architectural genius!

Just like how he picks out heinous paint colors or fabrics makes him some sort of interior designer! I've said it before, and as someone who actually DID go to college for an interior design degree, it's a total affront to people who spend the time, the money and, most importantly, have the passion to pursue that as a career.

And guess what? Only TERRIBLE designers purchase stuff that won't fit the space intended, mis-measure kitchen cabinets, don't have the spatial talent to pick out appropriate light fixtures. All things Philip has done, over and over and over again.

Sticks_Stones_Bones · Mar 24, 2026

NotAChatelaine said:
Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So before I became an actor, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,

I had a brother who couldn't decide if he wanted to be a brain surgeon or a short-order cook.

Pekey · Mar 24, 2026

Love how she was justifying the chairs in front of the the skip which was a rather good place to see just how they will look at the Falling Down Farmhouse !

So .... where to next I wonder? Where ever it is there will be a auction find to collect !

LaLande will look like this soon ----- and they will need that lift thing too !!!

M&MsMom · Mar 24, 2026

Yep!

Madame de Pompanddoodoo · Mar 24, 2026

What a load of shite, literally. Twenty minutes justifying their obscene spending habit that is definitely getting worse and what a genius wankerpants is just twenty minutes too much. Methinks the lady does protest too much. Bargains my arse. That mirror is so tacky and cheap, it will never be put up as it’s too big for any of the rooms at the farmhouse even the floorless G S. As for repainting it it looks shite already just imagine the state it would be in if they attempted to change the background colour. The designer extrordinaire and antique expert can’t even see that the whole thing was cobbled together in the last twelve months, antique my arse, they may as well put it in a skip for all the good it will do in the shittoo. They waste money on tasteless tat time and time again and did you notice they bought those PJ napkins even though there were only five, which Fanny pointed out was too few to be used at one of their candlelight suppers. Pretentious fools both of them.
Their B and B season starts in weeks but one of the few bedrooms left standing still has no functioning tested electricity. Any one who pays to sleep in that shithole needs their head examined.

NotAChatelaine · Mar 24, 2026

NotAChatelaine said:
Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So Snorty says, “I have, but really years ago. So before I became an actor, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,, can I really call myself an actor any more since I haven’t done that in years now, but, but before I did that, before I studied musical theatre, I was trying to decide between either architecture or acting,

This is what happens when nocturnal wakefulness hits…start to post something relating to an extract lifted from a comment, decide to leave ones pearls of wisdom (!) til the morning, put the iPad down and, inexplexicably, the “post sans context” is self-posts. Never mind…

There are two things in the extracted that are howlingly funny:

The prancing twerp saying “…years ago…” and “…before I became an actor…” makes it sound as if he spent decades treading the boards. He’s not even 30. He studied musical theatre and probably appeared in unremarkable student productions. One play since he abandoned drama school. Actor? A career? Yeah, right, and I’m the Queen of Sheba.

When it comes to architecture, he knows the square root of nothing. Design? The Talented Mr. Janssen he’s not. His grand scheme for the Lalande kitchen, arrière cuisine and the back corridor is a testament to his ineptitude.

Lady Pinkadella · Mar 24, 2026

After her boastful announcement of the best mirror imaginable, I was intrigued, and when the camera panned to this hideous monstrosity, my laughter echoed through the house. Apparently my imagination is far more tasteful than Tweedledum and Tweedledee's. The auction house staff couldn't get the thing out fast enough. His best find ever. A real bargain. Oh my god, I can't stop laughing. The overpriced chairs were just the icing on the cake. Or so I thought until Phiphi presented his gift. Oh, what a beautiful tulipiere! NOT. This was another roundtrip of pure money-wasting. She should warn viewers at the beginning of her vlog that the content could cause eye cancer.

FrasersMum · Mar 24, 2026

How long ago did those absolute tossers buy those awful chairs? Snorter says he bought them to go in a bedroom Armoire ripped out a year ago and then had to build that hideous OSB corridor to access the rooms they had left. Now they realise that room is never going to exist ( the one they called des oiseaux) they may as well put them in the Grrrrrrond Salon. Bloody idiots!

JackSpratt · Mar 24, 2026

Yet another SPECKTACKULARRRRRR mirror......................but will it fit....................of course it didn't and not only that it's the wrong sodding colour.

Hey ho, one more thing for a storage container

How many more chairs?

She'll have enough to kit out a cinema before much longer and not one set will match!

Also what's all this giving us running price commentaires now, I'm so thrifty it was only 600. Trying to justify all the manic spending, it's not just the fabric of the building it's the interior too'.

GET YOUR BUILDING SORTED FIRST YOU IDIOT!

Aumary, you poor sod! Should have bought a house down South!

When you listen to those two whittering on, trying to justify the spending don't you just think this

Bla bla bla

WTF are his trousers padded out with?

jojonz · Mar 24, 2026

UvulaDonor said:
What in the world did Billy tell Fanny to convince her to buy the library?
Did she think she would get more viewers by doing this?
Did he blackmail her???
Seems like one the crazier purchases she has made in a while.

Stephaine you can put me in the thumb nail I have 643K subscribers. This video in one day has 148k views the highest in a long while. Billy's is up to 186K views. As Mummy says make it work for you. Sorry if stated previously just on page 3.

The Chateau Diaries #399 Tattlers do care about people and their well-being. Who we don't care for are grifters!

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