My worry would be her turning up at my house again, if she didn't get a response. I've even considered selling up and moving because of it.
My worry would be her turning up at my house again, if she didn't get a response. I've even considered selling up and moving because of it.If it’s by text, say who is this?? Pretend you got a new number. Or if it’s by email just make up a load of coding stuff at the top, and reply that the email has been bounced back for security issues. If she’s old she won’t realise
The best way to lose people like this is to bore them into submission. They want the oxygen of attention, if you ignore them they can go off the deep end. So be perfunctory, answer only what they ask, don’t ask any questions back. When they realise they’re not getting the attention they move onto someone else.Hello all. Some of you might remember my strange elderly neighbour who moved away and left her cat with me - I had a long peaceful summer with no messages from her. Got some today:
View attachment 3131152
Blurred out is the name of the cat, not as he's under witness protection but because it's an unusual name and I'd like to keep this account private
She hasn't reached out once, so I don't know how she can claim she's heart broken. I think she's a narcissist through and through, and is looking for drama and a way to play the victim more than anything.
So... how would you respond to this in a way that doesn't escalate her emotions or encourage her? She's shown some stalking tendencies before, which makes simply blocking her a little difficult - I still live at the same address that she knows, and has admitted to coming round uninvited (thankfully I was out).
Thank you. Hearing this really helps - I know that natural I'm a people-pleaser and I'm terrified of any behaviour that might be 'rude' (like not asking questions back). She's taken advantage of that and used me for a long time. I came to realise that she only gave me the cat in order to keep something over me - problem is, now I'm really in love with the little fella and could never, ever give him back (she also didn't take great care of him). Hoping your method works a treat!The best way to lose people like this is to bore them into submission. They want the oxygen of attention, if you ignore them they can go off the deep end. So be perfunctory, answer only what they ask, don’t ask any questions back. When they realise they’re not getting the attention they move onto someone else.
I’d suggest sending a photo of the cat, saying they are fine as are your mum and dog. You hope she’s settled in well to her new home.
If she responds straight away leave it at least 3 days before replying. Again keep it brief, answer her questions, do not ask any of your own, keep the conversation closed down.
I managed to offload someone who turned out to be a total nightmare narcissist using this method. If I’d have tried to block I dread to think what they would have done given some of the stories they shared on enacting revenge on people for very minor things. They completely lost interest in me and blocked me on social media pretending they were taking a break from it!
This is great advice! I have nothing to add except I have also been in a position where I've been worried about a certain person showing up. I created a plan of what I would do if they did indeed turn up and it's made me feel a bit more in control.The best way to lose people like this is to bore them into submission. They want the oxygen of attention, if you ignore them they can go off the deep end. So be perfunctory, answer only what they ask, don’t ask any questions back. When they realise they’re not getting the attention they move onto someone else.
I’d suggest sending a photo of the cat, saying they are fine as are your mum and dog. You hope she’s settled in well to her new home.
If she responds straight away leave it at least 3 days before replying. Again keep it brief, answer her questions, do not ask any of your own, keep the conversation closed down.
I managed to offload someone who turned out to be a total nightmare narcissist using this method. If I’d have tried to block I dread to think what they would have done given some of the stories they shared on enacting revenge on people for very minor things. They completely lost interest in me and blocked me on social media pretending they were taking a break from it!
Nail varnish remover? White spirit?I've got a spot of gloss on my good black work trousers. They've been though the wash and it's still there (can only wash at 30). Any tips please .
I guess you could lie and say you rehomed him. If she does come round, don’t open the door! You don’t owe her your time or attention. You don’t owe her anything.Thank you. Hearing this really helps - I know that natural I'm a people-pleaser and I'm terrified of any behaviour that might be 'rude' (like not asking questions back). She's taken advantage of that and used me for a long time. I came to realise that she only gave me the cat in order to keep something over me - problem is, now I'm really in love with the little fella and could never, ever give him back (she also didn't take great care of him). Hoping your method works a treat!
Do you mean a lip gloss? If it’s oil based try putting some washing up liquid on it and if they’re colourfast I’d make a paste with washing up liquid and some vanish oxi powder, rub it into the stain, leave for 5 mins and then wash as normal. That’s my go to for shifting tricky stains.I've got a spot of gloss on my good black work trousers. They've been though the wash and it's still there (can only wash at 30). Any tips please .
If she does come round, just pretend to be in the shower and not hearing the door, etc. You're not obliged to interact with her. I appreciate it's anxiety inducing though, I can't stand unexpected visitors. I always pretend I'm out or 'in the bathroom' as I look through a tiny gap in the curtain lol. I just hate being put on the spot!Thank you. Hearing this really helps - I know that natural I'm a people-pleaser and I'm terrified of any behaviour that might be 'rude' (like not asking questions back). She's taken advantage of that and used me for a long time. I came to realise that she only gave me the cat in order to keep something over me - problem is, now I'm really in love with the little fella and could never, ever give him back (she also didn't take great care of him). Hoping your method works a treat!
No paint unfortunately, will pocket that tip though thanks.Do you mean a lip gloss? If it’s oil based try putting some washing up liquid on it and if they’re colourfast I’d make a paste with washing up liquid and some vanish oxi powder, rub it into the stain, leave for 5 mins and then wash as normal. That’s my go to for shifting tricky stains.
You could try freezing them, it might make the gloss brittle enough to peel/scratch off.No paint unfortunately, will pocket that tip though thanks.
Nail varnish remover didn't work, going to get some white spirit. Bit afraid to razor as they're a crepe kind of material, but that will be my last ditch attempt. So annoyed as they're fairly new. Thanks to all.
Did you try turpentine?No paint unfortunately, will pocket that tip though thanks.
Nail varnish remover didn't work, going to get some white spirit. Bit afraid to razor as they're a crepe kind of material, but that will be my last ditch attempt. So annoyed as they're fairly new. Thanks to all.
Is it inside the glass? You should be able to dismantle the door and get the glass out if you follow the manufacturer’s guidelines.How do you clean the glass doors of an oven? I've tried hot fairy liquid and water a few times but it's still stained brown. Also tried this astonish orange soap thing. I've bought a box of oven pride which I will use for the inside and trays but it says not to use on glass.
Yeah you can slide the glass out. But I'm not sure what to clean it with when it's out.Is it inside the glass? You should be able to dismantle the door and get the glass out if you follow the manufacturer’s guidelines.
Put it in the dishwasherYeah you can slide the glass out. But I'm not sure what to clean it with when it's out.
I use flash kitchen and a brillo padHow do you clean the glass doors of an oven? I've tried hot fairy liquid and water a few times but it's still stained brown. Also tried this astonish orange soap thing. I've bought a box of oven pride which I will use for the inside and trays but it says not to use on glass.
Put it in the dishwasher
Thank you, I will try both! I've seen on fb people who've had their glass oven doors randomly explode during use and so I've always been too gentle when cleaning I think, out if fear of that happening to me.I use flash kitchen and a brillo pad
I use a scouring powder, works wonders.How do you clean the glass doors of an oven? I've tried hot fairy liquid and water a few times but it's still stained brown. Also tried this astonish orange soap thing. I've bought a box of oven pride which I will use for the inside and trays but it says not to use on glass.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?