I would first find out if she actually is one and then go from there. If she is one tell her your concerns and reassure her that you are all there if she needs to chat but if she’s of age there isn’t much you can do to persuade her out of it.Hi Tattlers,
What is our opinion on Sugar Babies?
A few friends speculate one of our click is a sugar baby. She is not the type to be too bothered if we advise against it however I feel like its up to us to talk sense into her.
Advice please?
I feel like she would have considered the reaction of people in the area and her parents were they to find out, and that's probably why she's keeping it relatively private or not talking about it a whole lotMy concern is that were from a place where word would spread fast and to be honest I would just be worried about her safety if she were to meet with a strange man outside of where she lives. While she is of age she is still young and I would think her parents would be upset with me for knowing and keeping quite. While I understand and respect she is an adult who makes her own decisions I do feel maybe its important that I express my concern so its a tough subject
On a few occasions she has mentioned older men asking her to meet personally. More recently she brought up how another older man (much older again) asked her to meet personally (in another country) in return of items. The way she brought it up to me I felt as if it was to see how I would react to such a situation which would then perhaps influence her own decisions, however I don't know. I really do just have her best interests at heart and would worry for her safety if she does go ahead with it. God forbid during this trip something wouldn't be slipped into their drink or whatever especially when it is an individual we know nothing about.Just out of interest, what makes you think she is doing this? could it just be some mindless gossip or crossed wires?
I'd be worried too. I've nothing against the idea but some men are absolute dogs. I think she's given you enough info there that you can ask her outright if that's what she's doing. It does sound like she's drip feeding you information to see how you might take it. All you do is be there for her and safety plan with her, maybe get her to text one of you the name and location she is going to just in case.She brought it up in conversation recently that a much older man asked her to meet up for a 'date' which she was considering however it was not brought up in conversation again. More recently she brought up how another older man (much older again) asked her to meet personally in return of items. The way she brought it up to me I felt as if it was to see how I would react to such a situation which would then perhaps influence her own decisions however I don't know - I really do just have her best interests at heart. God forbid during these meet ups something wouldn't be slipped into their drink or whatever especially when it is an individual we know nothing about. I also wonder how these men are contacting her?
Prior to this other friends had speculated she was a sugar baby or doing only fans secretly as she has began buying quite lavish items and going on lavish trips with no explanation as to where the money came from.
I'm sure this is true, however personally the way you put in the poll 'talk some sense into her' I thought was quite judgemental. If you're going to approach her about it, I would go the opposite way. This is not something she's told you about, perhaps she is already fearing the judgement and that's why she hasn't told you? If you're really just looking out for her, it cannot be about 'changing her mind' 'talking some sense into her' etc - you have to be prepared for her to say 'thanks, I considered all that and I'm doing it anyway' which is her choice.I really do just have her best interests at heart
Yeah I completely agree with this as I know and respect its her choice but I fear the potential men have when especially when they are a complete stranger to us. Also its 99% likely a random person who found her online which again leads me to believe he could also be cat fishing her into believing he is wealthy when he's not etc. The list is endless.I'd be worried too. I've nothing against the idea but some men are absolute dogs. I think she's given you enough info there that you can ask her outright if that's what she's doing. It does sound like she's drip feeding you information to see how you might take it. All you do is be there for her and safety plan with her, maybe get her to text one of you the name and location she is going to just in case.
I probably should have phrased that better as that statement probably was coming from a judgemental mindset on my behalf purely as its just something I wouldn't consider doing myself - but again I can't exactly inflict my judgement onto someone else opinion on the matter.I'm sure this is true, however personally the way you put in the poll 'talk some sense into her' I thought was quite judgemental. If you're going to approach her about it, I would go the opposite way. This is not something she's told you about, perhaps she is already fearing the judgement and that's why she hasn't told you? If you're really just looking out for her, it cannot be about 'changing her mind' 'talking some sense into her' etc - you have to be prepared for her to say 'thanks, I considered all that and I'm doing it anyway' which is her choice.
Yeah I would say what you really don't want to do is go in all guns blazing so she feels embarrassed and judged, and subsequently that she can't come to you if something does go wrong with it. Unfortunately the most you can do is let her know you're there for non-judgemental support. It will at least be safer if she can tell you where she is etcI probably would have been more assertive about my thoughts on the matter if I had listened to my intuition however I'm just going to let her know if she is going to follow this through that there are safe ways to do it by informing me where she will be meeting him and maybe sending her location so she feels safe while with him and I know that she is too.
You're totally right to be worried about her safety. I don't know how old she is (early 20s?) but some people think they're invincible and very naive. I can't get on board with sugar baby arrangements because they almost always involve younger women putting themselves into risky situations with men they don't know, so I'm glad she has friends who are looking out for her.Yeah I completely agree with this as I know and respect its her choice but I fear the potential men have when especially when they are a complete stranger to us. Also its 99% likely a random person who found her online which again leads me to believe he could also be cat fishing her into believing he is wealthy when he's not etc. The list is endless.
I probably should have phrased that better as that statement probably was coming from a judgemental mindset on my behalf purely as its just something I wouldn't consider doing myself - but again I can't exactly inflict my judgement onto someone else opinion on the matter.
I will deffo be using this advice forum more often! I probably would have been more assertive about my thoughts on the matter if I had listened to my intuition however I'm just going to let her know if she is going to follow this through that there are safe ways to do it by informing me where she will be meeting him and maybe sending her location so she feels safe while with him and I know that she is too.
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