State or Private

[Tulips]

^^It's interesting reading these posts about Catholic schools: It's just got me thinking my husband went to one (primary and secondary)- these schools were considered to be the best in the borough in terms of results. I'm not saying all Catholic schools are like this, though.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

Homework is secondary

Oh, the homework ratio that I said was in prep/primary. Secondary was a complete other ball game.

 

[Raininvain]

With private schools, they tend to have much smaller classes and better resources than a state school and more time can be spent with the children.
I've known people who have gone to private schools and even when they haven't been academic at all have still done really well because of their confidence and connections etc.
It is possible to do well at a state school but its harder I think especially if there's a lot of behaviour problems and absolutely no control like the school I went to. It was that bad at my secondary school that after I left a teacher threatened the class with a starting pistol because he had totally lost control and was at the end of his tether.

 

[Everly]

It’s a debate in our home too. We’ve got our girls down for private schools and state schools and, although they’re only 2, it feels like we need to make a decision fast. My husband went to private school and is an actor and producer, he thinks his private education made little difference to his career but admits all his friends from school are doing jobs that required that level of education and connections. On the other hand, I went to a small state primary and secondary, went to Cambridge and I’m a GP. My pro for private is that I honestly think I had to work much harder at uni and to even get into my chosen university because I went to state school. We have the means but I don’t want our girls to have less fun as they might do in a private school. Sorry if this doesn’t help, just trying to say I feel your pain.

 

[slugella]

I think it can vary so much. I went to a pretty bad Catholic state school but I was in all of the top classes which meant I could learn more as my class was pretty well behaved. A friend in the lower set had to deal with really disruptive students so didn't learn as much as the teachers were so occupied with settling down the disruptive ones.

I did well and went to a good uni where I met my partner who went to a private school. It wasn't particularly great academically though and we both ended up with the same A Level grades and the same uni despite the differences in our schooling.

So yeah I guess it can depend on the child (e.g. if I had not been in the top classes my school would not have been able to give me enough to succeed) and how good the state and private schools in the area are.

 

[Happy35]

I don’t live near to any private schools, they are about 40 minutes away so I ruled that out for my son although a few do travel. I sent him to a state school, they were all rated as outstanding by Ofsted and he has done really well. I did top up with some tuition at one stage though.
I would only pay for a private education if I thought the state education was poor where I lived

 

[Member 3675]

Homework is secondary

 

[Roxanna]

‘Private costs and I have known many who have gone who are not particularly bright’

WTF? Good for you, my dd goes and she is a bit thick because she has Aspergers. Soz about that.

 

[Practically Perfect]

Catholic here and mine was and still is very strict but got the results. The difference between the LA schools and catholic is that the diocese pays towards the schools rather than it being totally LA funded and as such they can run them without as much LA involvement. In my area more and more children are being baptised in order to secure a place in the catholic schools.

My 3 all did well and went onto uni although at the time they hated it as it was so strict, they still measure girl's skirts every morning and check for make-up, hair colour etc and they will expect you to get involved in the catholic community which i would encourage anyway as they will take at least 3 sacraments (confession, holy communion and confirmation) whilst at school.

The schools and parish can be very clickey though and they can be very 'local' which is a shame.

 

[Nolongerjustalurker]

I went to an all girls grammar school, my brother also went to a grammar school. We both had excellent educations and I loved school, although now as an adult I wouldn’t encourage single sex school for my kids (my parents never forced me, I just didn’t want to go to the same school as my brother!)
If I hadn’t passed the 11 plus, my parents would have sent me to private school. The local state high schools are not as good, but I’m sure I would have done fine.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

If I was rich then I would put my children in private school. I wouldn't scrimp, save and go without though to send them there. Mine are in state school and love going there everyday. I think it depends on the area as well. I think children can be happy and unhappy in both schools. I would do what is best for you financially and also mentally, you wouldn't want to be resentful of your children if you struggled to put them through private school and they get minimum wage jobs when they are older (I'm not saying that you would feel like that).

we are luckily in the position where it would be feasible financially. It is the area for state schools that puts me off slightly. We are in central London, and whilst I know we have some amazing schools they are highly over subscribed and I don’t want to have to just take anything.

They both vary so much it's hard to say. It's depressing the number of people in powerful positions that went to a handful of private schools. Social mobility has gone backwards. Unless I was loaded I would move somewhere with a good state school and top up with a tutor and help at home if needed.

Moving was actually something I thought about - we had a family friend who moves to Somerset and her daughter is in an amazing school, however with my husbands job moving isn’t too feasible unfortunately.

Primary schools tend to be fine, I feel it is the Secondary education that makes the biggest impact on your future. I went to the local comprehensive school, and it was rubbish because the kids just misbehaved and the teachers just couldn't control the classes. It was very stressful for me as a teen, because I wanted to learn. I knew family friends who went private and I was jealous of them at the time. Yes, they had a lot of homework but I feel they were better prepared for things. It may not be the normal case, but as a teenager looking from the outside, that's how it looked. This was 10 years ago though.

I think if I had the means I would go for Private, or at least research the best state schools (there must be great ones out there). A worrying number of state schools are becoming business led academies and from what I hear on the ol' Facebook is that the schools are completely changing they way they go about things, and I personally know 3 young teachers in different UK cities who have quit the profession because it is just not about the quality of learning anymore, just cramming in targets. I guess it does depend on area.

TLDR: If you have the means, go for Private, if the reviews of the particular school(s) meet your expectations. The class:teacher ratio in Private is generally going to be more beneficial than state schools where you can have 30+ to a teacher. I hated my state school. Wished I was given the privilege of going private, or to a great state grammar school. Be wary of "academies".

The schools we are considering are amazing - I went to one and my husband went to the other from prep to A levels. 30+ children to a teacher baffles me and yet we expect these children to learn and get amazing grades...

It’s a debate in our home too. We’ve got our girls down for private schools and state schools and, although they’re only 2, it feels like we need to make a decision fast. My husband went to private school and is an actor and producer, he thinks his private education made little difference to his career but admits all his friends from school are doing jobs that required that level of education and connections. On the other hand, I went to a small state primary and secondary, went to Cambridge and I’m a GP. My pro for private is that I honestly think I had to work much harder at uni and to even get into my chosen university because I went to state school. We have the means but I don’t want our girls to have less fun as they might do in a private school. Sorry if this doesn’t help, just trying to say I feel your pain.

It sounds as though you have a similar conflict as us. Our twins are only 16 months and it does feel like we have to make the decision now. I see your point about having to work harder for Uni from a state school - private education definitely afforded me some luxuries when it came to University but in the same thought I want the kids to work hard for it...vicious circle. I do agree with your husband too. Both my husband and myself are in professions that required that level of education and I won’t deny it has at least played a part of reaching this point.

Sideways tangent
Our daughter goes to a Catholic School. It was an eye opener for us. She receives an excellent education and is doing very well. There are particular reasons why she goes to this school and our eldest two didn't.
The school itself is very community focused.
Private costs and I have known many who have gone who are not particularly bright.
The homework ratio you mentioned is quite funny as nowadays it seems thats about the norm anyway

The homework ratio, is that prep/primary or secondary?

 

[Ohflogoff]

Without a doubt, if I could afford to (and live comfortably once paying out all the fees), I would send my kids to private school.

We could do it now, but it would mean we would have to cut back on a lot of luxuries at home that we enjoy.

I believe smaller classes are what I would be paying for. In a class of 30+ it is very easy for kids to get lost and go under the radar. Especially with children with SEN and EFL

 

[Tublet83]

I never experienced teachers losing control of the kids at school ?, our school was incredibly strict over behaviour

 

[Daisy dukes]

My girls go to catholic school. They are receiving an excellent education and I’m happy with it. If there was not a good school in the area I would maybe look into private but I feel they are both happy and getting on great in the school they are at

 

[SunshineDreamer]

I was just wondering everyone’s opinions on state vs private school? (Not trying to say one is better than the other, just wondered opinions).

I went to a private school in London, and whilst I am extremely grateful for my education, it was an extremely intense experience - my school day was typically 8.15am-4.30pm + 1-2 hours homework Monday to Friday and around 4 hours of homework at the weekends, plus extra curricular activities etc.

We’ve had to put of toddlers names down for the schools already as the admission lists fill up fast, however in doing so, we would have to send them to different schools so I was just wondering peoples opinions as I have no real experience of state schools and whilst I know private schools can afford a wealth of opportunity, I don’t want to discount our local primary school just because it’s not what I did.

So, opinions please!