Small wedding help please!

[Giggling Squid]

My sister did exactly this, last year - and honestly it was amazing. Ceremony was an in-and-out, no readings or anything at the registry office, then they hired a back room at a pub, decorated it all themselves (minimally), put on a buffet, and we played games. Task master board game was a highlight also did a quiz, where each couple provided a round, and a very long and hilarious game of mr&mrs

absolutely loved it

 

[veryfondoftea]

I had a super small wedding - 6 guests in a registry office followed by brunch in a nice local cafe and a cake. Didn't bother telling anyone else about it until after. Total cost was £147 not including our brunch which my mum paid for.

It was my perfect day, I wouldn't have wanted anything else. Our mums made a bit of a fuss and asked us if we'd have a party at least so other family members and friends could come and we said no. It just wasn't what we wanted.

I've been to lots of friends weddings, some of which cost upwards of £30k and they've been lovely days but all our friends have said afterwards they didn't really experience it and wished they'd done something smaller just do what feels right for you and your partner

 

[Al Fresco]

Hello,

Need some advice about a wedding. Hope no one minds a wedding topic, but I'm loath to post in a proper wedding forum as they can be a bit full on iykwim!

Looking to have a small wedding of about 25 ppl, but we don't really know what we want, and I'm hoping someone can help these uncreative dunces.

We know we don't want:
a big traditional white wedding where is is ceremony, photos, drinks, cake cutting, speeches, food, more guests and first dance etc.
Band/dj/musicians
Bridesmaids and best man
Proper wedding speeches
A formal sit down dinner
Guest accomidation. Some of the places I have been looking at you have to pay for all the rooms, and I'd rather not do that and let everyone sort themselves out.
First dance
Anymore guests in the evening
A big venue due to the small number of guests, plus no one in our families are dancers, so I can't see there being much dancing. (Finding a suitable venue is doing my head in!)

I guess in a nutshell it would be ceremony, photos, some fizz, dinner, cake and then more drinks and chatting, maybe some silly games like charades. Also like some music but no band/dj. Ppl picking songs off Spotify would be ideal.

Does that sound OK? Would that be boring as a guest?

I guess I'm just worried as another family member is getting married soon and she is having photobooths, musicians, etc and Im stressing about the family comparing the 2 weddings.


So please give me all the advice! Have you had a small wedding? Did you wish you had a small wedding? Am I stressing over nothing and need to give my head a wobble?!


Thank you all x

Your plans sound ideal, most people would probably be relieved. They can get restless and fed up when there are too many and arrangements are long winded and gimmicky.

Weird coincidence, today a photo memory popped up for me of my stay at The Peacock at Rowsley and a pic I took of The Devil’s Arse signpost so I was drawn to your post.

 

[ElectricDreams]

Your wedding ideas sound lovely and as a guest I would love to attend. One of the best weddings I went to was my cousins... She got married in a registry office and had a ball with immediate family after, then about 20 of us extended family met on the beach and had a picnic. The bride baked cupcakes instead of a wedding cake and we played beach games and had a paddle. This was all on a Monday evening after work

Your wedding is your day, you don't have to do things for other people so just go for it!

 

[Babyyoda88]

I don’t really enjoy weddings but the best weddings I’ve been to have been smaller, laid back occasions. They’ve been good fun! No sitting or standing round for hours waiting to be fed!

 

[Kim Mild]

Ooh I was thinking about a twilight wedding, but as I was thinking an autumm/winter wedding would the light for photos be an issue?




Ideally in the one place, as its less to travel them. And less things to plan!

Looking at autumn/winter, open to any suggestions in Yorkshire, North east, Cumbria or Scotland. X


Thanks for all your replies, they have been super helpful and if tje family don't like my relaxed day, sod them!

I've been to weddings that have been lovely at
South Causey Inn in the North East

Gretna Green

Clear, Tarbert, Scotland

 

[Bec3007]

That sounds lovely & if that's what you want to do, then bollocks to anyone who doesn't like it! Huge congratulations to you & your intended & hope you have a brilliant day

Thank you so much! It all went well and everyone said they preferred it to the more traditional wedding as it was more laid back

 

[Facehugger]

I’m getting married this month. It was postponed and originally there were supposed to be more guests but with Covid we decided to go small so that if rules were back again we wouldn’t be disappointed.

Now we have 18 people coming. Registry office for 3pm and then a party back at ours with games, drink and buffet food. We think it’s perfect, especially just before Christmas too. We’ve had a few comments and opinions but I’d rather spend the money on a honeymoon than spend money to impress everyone else. It’s the marriage itself that’s important to us and nothing else!

That sounds lovely & if that's what you want to do, then bollocks to anyone who doesn't like it! Huge congratulations to you & your intended & hope you have a brilliant day

 

[Facehugger]

Hah, there will be NO kids at my wedding I can guarantee that!!!!

I think it would be fitting for you to get married at The Devils Arse just kidding, maybe in the Summer

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Never had a wedding and I despise weddings so my advice is honestly to do what you want. So what if the guests are bored? Its your wedding as long as you’re enjoying.
Also weddings are traditionally boring. It’s mostly standing around, then sitting around, then more standing around, then dancing. So your wedding sounds a lot more fun than that. I’ve never met anyone that didn’t love a low-key fun no pressure wedding. Do what you want and if people don’t like it then they can suffer it for a few hours like everyone does at a wedding anyway

 

[dancingqueen5678]

I think the 'no kids' thing at weddings is different if you've got no kids yourself. If you have some, then naturally you'd want to include them in your day but if not, then planning your day to include pleasing other people's kids & keeping them amused is trickier.

I had some at mine, half a dozen, they were given a party bag each with crayons, toys & bits of tat to keep them happy. They all behaved, as I knew they would otherwise they'd have been taken home. It's your day, so the parents' job to keep them entertained really, difficult if their parents are the sort who expect everyone else's world to revolve around their little darlings I guess.

If I had kids I would have them but it would likely be my own kids only and maybe some nieces and nephews depending on ages and how many there are. I think that's the problem imo. It's not kids as such, it's so many kids it becomes like a kids party. I also think over a certain age is different. My friend's little girl is 9 so I wouldn't have an issue even though she's technically a kid. I wouldn't have a kid under 7 though besides my own and potentially one or two nieces and nephews if I had to but like I said it would be all or nothing.

I do understand though it depends on your relationships. I'm not close to my family at all but I can understand wanting kids there if you have a close relationship with your family.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Controversial but I hate kids at weddings. There’s nothing worse than trying to have a dance and baby bouncing up and down on the dance floor, or kids skidding, or kids holding hands and twirling around. I love kids but it just annoys me.
I went to a wedding before covid and bride had 3 small kids nieces and a nephew all under 6. Nephew who was a toddler ran around the church the whole ceremony. Nobody thought to take him out of the church apparently.
Nieces were absolutely exhausted by the time they’d got to the reception cause they’d all be up since 5am. We didn’t sit down to eat until 3pm (!) I was exhausted as an adult and I went home, had a nap, had some food and went back. Cue sobbing, hitting each other, kicking off cause they didn’t want food cause they’d already had to eat prior to the sit down meal cause they were children. Then the bride had a pick a song thing on the invitation so the first 45 minutes was just Disney songs cause the kids chose them and so did the parents and grandparents etc for the kids.
I left at 10pm barely into the disco which started at 9pm even though it was meant to start at 7pm

Sounds like an absolute nightmare. I didn't want any kids at our wedding, but was forced into having my husband's nephew as a pageboy. He was 7 at the time so not a small child and old enough to know how to behave himself, but he'd always been a spoilt brat and was an absolute nightmare on the day as I had know he would be

That forced me into having to find a flowergirl to 'balance it out'. I had my friend's daughter who was 6 and an absolute dream. She was a lovely little kid anyway but was so well behaved on the day and delighted to be there.
The pageboy could have learned a lot from her.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

We had a small wedding (was meant to be in a tiny hotel where only we were going to stay) but it went bust 4 weeks before the day.

So we had our ceremony in a local hall and then our meal in a university college walking distance away (it was so last minute we couldn’t have both in one place). No bridesmaid/cars/flowers/speeches/walking down the aisle or sit down meal/cake cutting as the college venue was just not suitable for any of that and we didn’t want it. We did have a band as it made the college a bit more friendly but no one danced, it was more background music.

Everyone (30) had fun, said it was really easy going and they left when they wanted. Admittedly, I was stressed but that was only due to the really last minute arrangements.

As all the others have said, it is your and your partner’s day. You need to do what you want and remember it for that. If you think you will feel uncomfortable having those extras then don’t try and please others.

Have fun planning

 

[dancingqueen5678]

The last one I went to (pre Covid) was like that. There were about 15 kids, all various assorted ages under about 10 I'd say, the do was a 4pm wedding then it went right through till midnight. They were all hyper, they'd laid on a sweet trolley thing so they were all full of sugar, the dance floor was the size of a small patio & they were all on there screaming & shouting, just like a kids party like you say. One woman had to have first aid as some kid had fired a party popper straight into her face, honestly, it was mayhem

It's hard for me cause in my mind that's not enjoyable at all even as a bride but there must be some brides and grooms who must enjoy or want that. Or they just feel obligated? I have no idea but that sounds like mayhem and my idea of hell

 

[The Devils Arse]

Hah, there will be NO kids at my wedding I can guarantee that!!!!

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Reminds me of a wedding I went to... The couple didn't have kids of their own but there were loads of other people's kids there. From arriving at the reception at 1.30 till 9pm it was an actual kids disco with party games and prizes. There was a party table for the kids full of wotsits, party rings and sausage rolls... It was bizarre!

Yeah and it’s just not enjoyable for anyone. Bride in question was really close to her family which I understand but it’s just a pain in the ass for everyone else. The issue as well was that cause she wanted her nieces and nephew there, she obviously saw no need not to invite her other relatives kids. Thankfully there wasn’t that many, or they were well enough behaved that I didn’t notice but the nieces were a pain in the ass the whole time and the Disney songs was the final nail in the coffin. It felt awkward leaving an hour into the party but I was fed up by then

 

[The Devils Arse]

I think it would be fitting for you to get married at The Devils Arse just kidding, maybe in the Summer

Haha, I'll add it to my list as a possibility! Having no luck with venues so far!

 

[Facehugger]

Haha, I'll add it to my list as a possibility! Having no luck with venues so far!

Keep at it, you'll find somewhere I'm sure

 

[The Devils Arse]

I’m getting married this month. It was postponed and originally there were supposed to be more guests but with Covid we decided to go small so that if rules were back again we wouldn’t be disappointed.

Now we have 18 people coming. Registry office for 3pm and then a party back at ours with games, drink and buffet food. We think it’s perfect, especially just before Christmas too. We’ve had a few comments and opinions but I’d rather spend the money on a honeymoon than spend money to impress everyone else. It’s the marriage itself that’s important to us and nothing else!

That sounds perfect! So glad it went well for you x

 

[BegDavis]

We got married earlier this year and had been postponed a couple of times due to covid. In the end, it worked out for the best! There was 30 of us including us as the couple. It was a stress free day, we managed to speak and spend time with every single guest and everyone mixed really well.. you don’t tend to see that so much with larger weddings.

As for the kids thing, we don’t have kids but due to the restrictions at the time we just had our nephews and niece there. They left before the evening bit and the parents could then enjoy themselves. Most parents will gladly have a day off and enjoy themselves without entertaining their own kids or running after them.

The plan you have sounds good to me and I wouldn’t be bored as long as the drinks are flowing and some background music. We couldn’t have a full on party but we had music, drinks, a caricature artist that was a right laugh. Our wedding had to end by 10ish due to covid rules but it was perfect. It’s your wedding day no one else’s, do what feels important and enjoyable to you. X