Hi,I’m a lady in relationship with a lovely fella thirteen years older than me,and it’s hard work for both of us..I don’t have any family or friends so leaving would not be s option for me.However what I really wanted to say to you was this.I stared smoking cannabis again in October (after many years without it)and it’s changed me(my personality )a fair bit.my partner would look at me and actually say you are like a different person.Not stoned in as much as just not caring about things.My focus switching from the relationship to me and my needs.I still adore my partner but I know my behaviour is not really on.sorry I don’t know if that helps.xx
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He’s home from work and it’s awkward. One word answers and an attitude being displayed. He’s not showing much interest in even speaking to me.
I am going to my hometown this weekend to see my family and friends and if I happen to bump into the other guy I’ve been talking to, then I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I’m so over being treated like this.
I am going to my hometown this weekend to see my family and friends and if I happen to bump into the other guy I’ve been talking to, then I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I’m so over being treated like this.
There’s 29 years between my husband and I. We’ve been together years, the gap is not an issue. Please think before you comment on an age gap...would you be labelled a bigot if you commented on other types of relationships in the same way? Age gaps still seem to be one of the last types of relationships where people think they can comment as they like.
Age has nothing to do with anything, imagine if this was another type of relationship. You’d be labelled a bigot. I’ve had this poop spouted at me for years, I have one of the happiest and long lasting marriages of any of my peer group.Don't waste your youth on age. There will come a day when you truly regret it, even if it was a good relationship (and yours isn't) and it'll be too late to change anything. Take care - we're all here for you if you need to talk.
I agree about the age gap. And more importantly he just sounds like an idiot and you deserve better xx
I think if you have to ask yourself the question you already know the answer, and I think the age gap is also impacting you here. The age gap in and of itself wouldn’t be an issue, but it’s the fact that he‘s not seeing you as an equal. E.g. this jumped out at me - “he tells me not to talk to him before work (sometimes fully shh-ing me), insults me sometimes and tells me I don’t understand when I try to offer helpful advice. When I raised it with him and mentioned that we need to work on our communication styles, I was told “this is who I am, this is how I speak, you either like me or you don’t”. - the way he speaks to you is so patronising and IMO he sees you as younger and not an equal. Paradoxically, he’s acting so bloody childishly by not acknowledging you and sulking. You can do so much better!
While clearly not the case with you, there are plenty of older men in large age gap relationships with much younger women simply because a woman their own age would not put up with their tit.
It’s always good to hear about great relationships though, whatever the age.
This is the conclusion I am actually coming to. I’m wondering if he had trouble in his past relationships because of this kind of behaviour. I was his first age gap relationship, before me he had dated women around his own age and one who was a decade older than him.
You poor thing! What an hole !!
I’m sure that works the other way round too.
Of course but this is not about others and their relationships. This thread is about the OP and there's so many red flags
Do you have somewhere to stay if you leave?
He sounds like an hole you need to get out of there stat!
He sounds like an hole you need to get out of there stat!
He doesn’t respect you, he sounds patronising and you have said yourself that he insults you sometimes. You deserve better! Get rid.
Enjoy your weekend in your hometime and spending time with your family and friends
Enjoy your weekend in your hometime and spending time with your family and friends
I don’t think she has anything to do with it, he just sounds like a gob.
I had a really nice weekend. I saw my grandparents on Friday evening and saw my friend for lunch today before driving back to where I’m living.
Yesterday, I played mini golf with the other person I’ve been talking to and we had a great time and had a kiss and a cuddle. I think I like him but it’s very early days.
My boyfriend and I are on a break at the moment in all but physical location (as I still need to use the computer that is here for work until I arrange to take it down to my hometown). He still doesn’t see that he has done anything wrong and refuses to stop smoking the cannabis, calling it “one of his few pleasures in life”. I’m struggling to find a reason to stay.
Yesterday, I played mini golf with the other person I’ve been talking to and we had a great time and had a kiss and a cuddle. I think I like him but it’s very early days.
My boyfriend and I are on a break at the moment in all but physical location (as I still need to use the computer that is here for work until I arrange to take it down to my hometown). He still doesn’t see that he has done anything wrong and refuses to stop smoking the cannabis, calling it “one of his few pleasures in life”. I’m struggling to find a reason to stay.
Make sure you log out of Tattle in case he sees this post and discovers that you've kissed the other guy.
If he does find out just tell him kissing the other bloke is ‘one of your few pleasures in life’.
He doesn’t know Tattle exists so I’m safe! I only ever look at it on my phone.
Just a quick one to say that I have ended the relationship and am moving home as soon as possible. My parents are taking stuff back to my hometown today. I feel so relieved already, so know I’m doing the right thing.
Well done. I know you;re probably upset and emotional at the moment, but having read everything that you posted, I think you've definitely done the right thing.
I'm glad you have support from parents too.
Be extra to yourself and put yourself first now x