Should we elope?

Raininvain · Sep 27, 2020

Do it and spend your money on yourselves and your home instead of on loads of guests who dont give a toss anyway.

openbook1 · Sep 27, 2020

Raininvain said:
Do it and spend your money on yourselves and your home instead of on loads of guests who dont give a toss anyway.

Yess!! Honestly, the thought of spending SO much money on other people (food and drink) makes me cringe. And with weddings delayed due to Covid, it seems it would be hard to get into popular venues next year. I am so set on eloping when we can get down to California again, right now the border is closed.

rather not stop · Sep 27, 2020

Raininvain said:
Do it and spend your money on yourselves and your home instead of on loads of guests who dont give a toss anyway.

Thank you. We own our home and have children together too - definitely have better things to spend our money on imo.

Annie101 · Sep 28, 2020

We eloped two years ago and got married in Mauritius on the beach. Planned the wedding on arrival in 2 days. Hotel gave me 2 wedding planners that did everything and i had a butler and felt like a queen.

Skiddidlydaddle · Sep 28, 2020

rather not stop said:
Looking for thoughts and opinions on eloping. Is it selfish? Have you done it? Did you regret it? Did your family ever let you live it down?

My husband and I got married alone in NY in 90 second ceremony in 2011, our witness was a pregnant Chinese girl who was stood behind us in the queue.

My family were fine, my husbands were furious and didn't speak to him for years. For us, it was a great experience, we were not really interested in a big white wedding.

It was all complicated by the fact that we are not the same nationality, were not living in the same country when we wanted to marry and he lived in a third country (not the country either of us were born in). So, getting married in Europe was a massive ballache, we tried with the paperwork for months In the end we sacked it off and went to NY and it was completely hassle free.

If your families are understanding then go for it. Take loads of pics.

mcfeez · Sep 28, 2020

I didn't elope but really wanted to, my husband wasn't as fond of the idea. So our compromise was a small, local wedding. It still made me incredibly anxious, I really honestly did not look forward to my wedding. I am totally pro marriage but not into weddings at all. I just think eloping is so romantic and your wedding is your own.

FakeSmile · Sep 29, 2020

Whilst I don’t wish that we’d eloped, I do wish that we’d had a much smaller wedding than we did. We had 65 day guests and about 120 in the evening and most of those day guests (where we spent over £30 a head) were people who we felt we ‘had’ to invite for one reason or another rather than people who we actually wanted to be there. If we were going to do it all again I think we could have probably halved the day guests!

openbook1 · Sep 29, 2020

FakeSmile said:
Whilst I don’t wish that we’d eloped, I do wish that we’d had a much smaller wedding than we did. We had 65 day guests and about 120 in the evening and most of those day guests (where we spent over £30 a head) were people who we felt we ‘had’ to invite for one reason or another rather than people who we actually wanted to be there. If we were going to do it all again I think we could have probably halved the day guests!

See, here, you don't have separate guests for the day and evening. You either have people at the day ceremony and the evening or do not invite them at all. I am all for eloping. I live overseas from my family, my husband's family is a 14-hour drive away. I hate being the center of attention, and my mum doesn't live here so we can't go dress shopping easily together. I always was kind of against spending a lot of money too on one day and when most of the money is spent to please others. We were about to book an elopement and then covid happened. But Covid, especially has sealed the fact, that we don't want to spend a huge amount of money.

FakeSmile · Sep 29, 2020

openbook1 said:
See, here, you don't have separate guests for the day and evening. You either have people at the day ceremony and the evening or do not invite them at all. I am all for eloping. I live overseas from my family, my husband's family is a 14-hour drive away. I hate being the center of attention, and my mum doesn't live here so we can't go dress shopping easily together. I always was kind of against spending a lot of money too on one day and when most of the money is spent to please others. We were about to book an elopement and then covid happened. But Covid, especially has sealed the fact, that we don't want to spend a huge amount of money.

Yeah we spent an obscene amount of money and we are still paying it all off now 5 years later. Whilst we had the best day and I wouldn’t change it, if were going to do it again there are things that I’d do differently now with hindsight.

Whaaaaat · Sep 29, 2020

I didn’t elope. But I cancelled my big planned wedding that was 18 months away and booked one a few weeks in advance.

Had a small ceremony with just close family and friends then a huge party.

It was the best day ever and I’ve never regretted it for a second.

Blondie123 · Sep 30, 2020

We eloped (with my parents as witnesses) and after the initial shock people were super happy for us. A big wedding was just never something that suited either of us and we'd have been doing it to please others!

Do exactly what you and your partner want, everyone else will get over it (and if they don't they are being a dick!)

Pixipoppy · Sep 30, 2020

I’d definitely elope! Can’t get my head round spending loads of money on a wedding!

heretoreaditall2019 · Oct 1, 2020

Do it.

We compromised and had a small wedding but mirroring what everyone else said - it became about everyone else & all the bullshit that goes with it. The best bit of my wedding was leaving with my husband to go back to our hotel room & staying up til 3am chatting. The happiest photo of me from the day was when I first saw him in the room because I was so miserable being kept away from him for 3 days prior.

I wish I’d overpaid the mortgage & got the bathroom done tbh.

Pink Sparkle · Oct 3, 2020

We eloped got NYC got married in Central Park. Best decision we ever made. Paid one person to do everything ( so cheap compared to U.K.) it was honestly incredible! We then had a party back home so still had that evening do X

Should we elope?

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