Self esteem, I’ve tried everything

[anonesk223]

I’ve tried so many things to improve my self esteem. I think deep down I know that I have a good job, good friends, am okay looking. But I have had endless counselling and therapy and I still just can’t stop beating myself up!

I take everything so personally. Today I nearly cried getting ready for work because I couldn’t find a top, which I hadn’t put away. I started calling myself useless, a waste of space etc. My boyfriend told me everyone makes mistakes and I know he’s right, but I just can’t help getting so worked up.
If I make a mistake or someone tells me I’ve done something wrong, I’ll think about it and beat myself up for the rest of the day.

I’ve tried all these strategies, affirmations etc to death but just nothing works.

Does anyone have any hidden gems of advice to help?

 

[Rxt156]

Do things to help yourself in future eg if put your tops away you’ll know where they are. Sounds simple but it will prevent the issue before it comes a problem t

 

[anonesk223]

I know; this is why I’m so hard on myself sometimes. I can be really scatty and unorganised

 

[Rxt156]

I know; this is why I’m so hard on myself sometimes. I can be really scatty and unorganised

I am sometimes very lazy with putting things away. I think ahhhhh CBA I’ll just chuck it to the side. Next day when I want it, can’t find the bloody thing. I end up in a rage watching the house for the item. I am getting better at this job by putting things where they belong. It takes about 3 seconds and saves the agg the next day/week whatever. Honestly game changer

 

[kimjennie]

You might have already tried this, but sometimes it gets easier with practice. I’ve found being understanding with myself has helped my self esteem. Every time I berate myself I gently guide my thoughts away from that and just say “you know what? I didn’t do that on purpose (or whatever it is that I’m beating myself up about) and next time I will do better”. And that’s it.

Every time I obsess I do absolutely anything to redirect my mind because at the end of the day, I’m just causing myself misery by being really negative about things I do. It’s not perfect and sometimes I do get really anxious or obsessive about things I do or where I’m at. But even the smallest step is the right direction and to build a habit you have to be consistent.

I know sometimes this can be very each to their own, but I hope you remind yourself to be understanding of yourself when you can. It’s rubbish when you have low self-esteem and I’m working really hard on fixing mine. Wishing you the best and whatever helps, I hope it comes to you soon!

 

[Meg78]

Step 1: look up ADHD symptoms in women
Step 2: have a lightbulb moment
Step 3: start recognising that what you’re describing is totally normal, and automatically feel less pressure on yourself

 

[Msmactivity]

Compassion focused therapy?