Secret Vaping

[Rainbow1]

For a few months had a funny feeling boyfriend was secretly smoking/vaping, could smell hint on breath but never said anything

Was cleaning our spare room other day and found a vape in one of the drawers

I haven’t said anything yet am I over (under?) reacting? I feel so disappointed, I remember when we first met I said smoking was such a turn off for me and a deal breaker, he agreed etc
I think I’m more annoyed he’s kept it a secret and is secretly smoking when I’m not around rather than tell me

Is vaping as bad as smoking I’ve read? How would you approach the subject?

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I'd be very annoyed by this, especially as you told him it would be a deal breaker. I'd raise the issue with him, calmly. In my view vaping is worse than smoking in some ways, the vapour, being lighter, spreads more easily and the inhaler breathes it in more deeply than cigarette smoke. There are a few studies to show that vaping is harmful. Do some research on this before you speak to him.

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

I’m on the other end of the argument here. I vape as it’s the only thing that helped me stop smoking. Friend of mine stopped as she had diagnosed COPD and the drs are pleased with the progress since she’s been vaping as opposed to smoking. I agree that no one knows yet what vaping does. But coming from smoking and switching to vaping my lung function has improved.
So if your other half is vaping, perhaps he did smoke when you met and is trying to stop for that reason. If you’ve never smoked it can be extremely hard to just stop. So maybe rather than lay into him, ask him if he smoked and if this is to help him quit and let him go with it. End of the day, it’s an addiction.
fair enough if it’s a dealbreaker for you, but it would be far better to try help and be supportive because you can’t control what someone else does and if he’s part way there and trying to actually quit, then support might go a long way x

 

[VomitCulture]

I'd be very annoyed by this, especially as you told him it would be a deal breaker. I'd raise the issue with him, calmly. In my view vaping is worse than smoking in some ways, the vapour, being lighter, spreads more easily and the inhaler breathes it in more deeply than cigarette smoke. There are a few studies to show that vaping is harmful. Do some research on this before you speak to him.

It’s not worse than smoking as it doesn’t contain all of the toxic chemicals that cigarettes have in them. You may be breathing in more deeply but you’re not inhaling the same things.

 

[Georgethecat]

Smoking is definitely worse than vaping, vaping stinks way less and doesn't have the same tar etc breathing in. I'd be a bit annoyed he was hiding something, how long have you been together? Maybe hes trying to quit, or using it to stop smoking, either way he probably didn't want to lose you over it and is ashamed by his addiction as you said it's a dealbreaker but really not an easy thing just to stop once you've started. I'd speak to him about it , obviously it's up to you if you were to leave him over it but maybe he just needs some support and acceptance to help him stop completely. There is a stop smoking service via chemists and patches etc to use as well.

 

[Ohflogoff]

Vaping is proven to be less harmful in the way that the tar in tobacco isn’t present. Long term affects aren’t known, but short term it’s much better than smoking.

If it’s him keeping secrets from you that’s the problem, talk to him. Let him know how you feel and ask him to be open with you. There’s not a lot else you can do. I suspect he probably kept it quiet as you put smoking and vaping in the same category, when in fact they’re very different. Ie - doesn’t stink!

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog...-lungs-what-we-do-and-dont-know-2019090417734

Vaping is dangerous. My niece started smoking at 19. In a bid to give up she started vaping, she now has a chronic lung condition, which she didn't have before she started vaping. Humans should not be inhaling liquid into their lungs.

 

[Warpaint]

Vaping is incredibly addictive but I don't think it's as bad as smoking.

I'd say have a heart to heart and get it all out with him. See what happens from there

 

[judsmum]

I know we all have our ‘things’ that annoy us, but I think you’re over reacting massively. I’m assuming other than his secret vaping you love him, like him and enjoy his company? If so then I really don’t think that making a song and dance about a vape is the way forward and if you really don’t like it ask him not to do it in your company. He’s not toking on a crack pipe behind your back.