**ALICANTE RAP BATTLE, SOME TIME IN JULY AFTER THE 2 WEEK ISOLATION ON RETURN WAS ANNOUNCED**
AXL & 2 girls who she will probs never speak to again turn up, and lick a parked up Lambo before straddling it
AXL: Girls, one is going to go and find some gentlemen with a briefcase of nose goodies, toodle pip *Posh superstar Deejay accent*
RANDOM SHORT TERM FRIENDS: Why haven’t you brought your own gear you bad cling on.
*AXL toodles into the rap battle in her Illuminous everyone fucken look yellow dress and gold crusty thong,waving at everyone hoping someone recognises her*
MC WHOPUSHEDMEINABUSH: SAL,YOU CAME!!!! YOU GLAD I INVITED YA OVER HERE? I KNOW IT WAS VIA ONLY FANS BUT I WILL DEFFO KEEP MY SUBS UP.. YOU HAVE SOME MASSIVE FLAPS YOU!!!!
AXL: Taaarrr Baaybe, Soyyyyyyyy dis party is sick AYYYYYY *tilts head and smiles (now In scouse accent)
*Notices a rap battle starting and makes sure she’s got front row spot, dragging the 2 short term friends over *
AXL: Will ya be having any ket Lassie? Any lemo? *swings her gold fish bag around in the air (now in Irish accent)
TINY RAPPER HEAD TO TOE IN NORTH FACE:
ALICANTE AYYY AYYYY
MC WHOPUSHEDMEINABUSH:
ILL EMPTY MY SACK
*as he’s brushing flowers off his black polo top doing a really shit job of it too*
AXL: AYYYYYY.. LET ME DJ.. *stands next to the DJ who looks at her like she crawled out of someone’s arsehole*
DJ: GO ON THEN, JUST 2 MINS I DONT WANT YOU FUCKING IT UP *holds his hands over his nose he can smell her canoe*
AXL: I AM JUST NEEDING TO SET UP THE INSTA LIVES SIR (now in Indian accent) .. *shoves her mate away out of shot who’s come over with a random fella lay on a table on wheels, who’s torso has been filled with neatly arranged coke lines*
DONT MENTION ANYTHIN ILLLEEEGAL
*DJ is seen showing her which buttons to press*
AXL: LIVE ON DAAAA INSTAAAAA (in her best Jamaican accent)
DJ: HA HA.. *looks the other way and tries to make eye contact with anyone so they’ll come over*
MC WHOPUSHEDMEINABUSH:
WHO WANTS A GOLD FISSSHHHHHH, 8MILE MOMS SPAGETTIIII
RANDOM SHORT TERM FRIENDS: AYYYY *doing lines of coke off the fella lay on the table*
*Sallie swings her rats tails round, pulls her gold thong that far up it snaps, twangs across the room and wraps around MC WHOPUSHEDMEINABUSH’s face like a face hugger off Alien*