Thanks to
@Wotsit for the excellent thread title!
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele Hambleton is a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public
- they're packing up to come home from Spain, and "for everyone asking" (aka nobody) Rancid showed all the toiletries she'd taken. Then Sloshy came back from dropping off the hire car, saying he'd had to walk back 40 minutes because some Spanish woman told him he could catch the bus but it sailed straight past him, so the woman was "probably a troll". Sure she was, obsessed much?
- they're back home, and the grift train rolls on. Aff links for everything she can possibly think of, including Lula's makeup after she did a "style the WEBL jumper with me" video.
- over on PatreCon, she addressed the fact that her latest book of crap didn't make the bestseller list by saying it's due to cost of living and books aren't selling like they used to, so she wasn't expecting to have to dust off the crappy cape anyway. Sure hun, you keep telling yourself that while the real authors are still out there writing books that are bestsellers
- low on content, Rambo resorted to sharing old photos and videos from when the kids were "babies", interspersed with adverts for the next lot of crappy WEBL tops and leggings
- according to PatreCon, Edie came home last week (whether it's permanent or just a visit we're not sure), Seb has broken the oven, Isaac isn't speaking to Ratchet or Joyce, and Lula has jacked in college 2 weeks before her exams and is refusing to come home because she "hates what's going on there" (no idea what this is referring to)
- Austin ran the London marathon, which of course meant Rambo and Sloshy had a weekend in London, they took Edie but not Wilbur (which is strange because Lizzy and Austin took their son). Rancid took the opportunity to show off how they are bestest besties EVER by showing messages between Slosh and Austin from when they first met and bonded over having autistic children.
- more flogging of the book, the latest WEBL tat, and the Snatchwork prize draw
- at the Centre, Rapido did a big old beg for pantry donations, including biscuits because"I went looking for one earlier and there weren't any left"
so you've just come back off a 2 week holiday in Spain, then whizzed to London for a weekend, and now you're admitting that you help yourself to the donations of food that you sell on at a profit to the local poor people
and you wonder why tattlers call you a scam artist.
- the next slide was showing Wilbert's latest Lego set, with a handy aff link of course
- she filmed Lula talking about getting pissed with her mates, while she (Rabies) was laid in bed with Seb. Absolutely normal behaviour for a mum and her stepson, not at all weird and creepy...
- Bratsy sent her a book with all sorts of memories filled in. What a lovely, personal gift for her mum. Who proceeded to share pictures videos of it with a few hundred thousand of her closest friends and chrolls. Maybe keep the odd thing private for a change?
- Joyce is taking her away somewhere for her birthday, but won't tell her where. Will we get another "oh, are we" like when she thought she was going to Barbados?
- Rancho managed to drive Wilbert to school without Sloshy, who was no doubt off to Sainsbury's for a shit in peace. Wilbur was sat in the front without a proper car seat or even a booster, but luckily she was filming it on her phone, so god forbid she had an accident and he got injured due to not being properly secured, she could have provided the doctors and police with actual footage of it happening...
- she's off to Manchester for an event with Brood magazine. Yet another excuse for pissing off for the night and letting someone else parent her children. Never mind that Lula's just gone back to college after quitting a couple of weeks ago, and presumably has exams imminently, Mama needs to get her fix of having her arse kissed by a bunch of strangers
- she filmed Seb complaining about having a hangover after a night out, he said that 11 pints "isn't that much" and he "shouldn't be hungover at nearly 12pm"
- Rhubarb did a load of rambling stories which included saying she wanted to rip Joyce's throat out because he is really loud when he's swallowing his water. She also shared that she's had laser hair removal on her "vagina", and said that she likes her "lady lips" being "as smooth as a mango" and she's glad she's had it done because she gets loads of ingrown hairs "all over her vagina" and when she's old and in a home her kids won't want to be sorting them out for her. I imagine they don't want their mates hearing her talk about her vagina (btw Raq, the word you're looking for is "vulva") but that doesn't seem to stop her. Also, bold of her to think they'll actually bother visiting her in her care home
- another day, another set of rambling stories. This time she complained about how she doesn't even get an hour to herself, and that her "therapist" had told her she needs to be more boundaried with the kids. So she planned a little trip to IKEA but forgot to turn her phone off so Bratsy was ringing from Sri Lanka in a panic because she'd lost her kindle and it was connected to Amazon etc. So she was calming Betsy down, had to call Sloshy to help, Seb was also ringing her in a panic because he's started a new job and was stuck in traffic. All this during a half hour drive to IKEA. Then when she got there it was closed and she couldn't wait for it to open because she she had an appointment to get to so she still didn't get that hour to herself
Isaac's doing his exams but doesn't give a shit. Sloshy told her he could just "walk out" and leave the whole shit show.
- there's new REBL crap coming, shorts and a skirt in sweater material
obviously it's all lush and Rabies "absolutely loves it" etc
- Ratfish probably pissed herself with excitement as she received a "troll" message from someone called Tracey calling her out for not having a full time job. She tried to defend herself that she does work full time
, and shared the message with Tracey's full name on show.
- Right in the middle of Isaac's exams, and they're pissing off on holiday AGAIN, because celebrating Ratshit's birthday is more important than being around to support their kids. Sloshy booked to go to Sri Lanka so they could meet up with Bratsy, who *had* to go back to Australia the day before. Tattlers would almost feel sorry for R crying in the airport, if she wasn't such a lying, selfish, greedy cunt. Apparently Betsy's "left something in the hotel", so has she actually flown back to Australia, or will the something be her? No doubt Rancid will be filming every second so we will see....
- and in a surprise to absolutely nobody, Betsy was waiting for them in the hotel after all. Rambo was so happy to see her daughter after over 18 months that she spent precious time making a reel of the whole thing, so the lying and GCSE drama in the airport was all worth it because the post got loads of likes
- Ratchet and Sloshua spent the first day with Betsy going on a boat trip visiting traditional, cultural areas. This included seeing someone harvesting cinnamon, a Buddhist temple, and some herbalists. As there was a distinct lack of designer shops for Rancid to spend her money in, she instead bought a load of herbal medicines. She showed herself up to be the thick chav she is, giggling at everything and being amazed at how different Betsy is now (interested in local culture and traditions, asking lots of questions etc).
- another day, another round of embarrassing Betsy by showing how uneducated Rabies and Sloshy are. They went on another boat trip, with Rambo freaking out about a leaf and a dead fish in the water near her. They then went to see some monkeys, which all came on to the boat looking for food or other things to steal (including Ratchet's iced coffee).
- not one to let a little thing like spending time with her daughter that she hasn't seen in nearly 2 years get in the way of the grift, Ratchet has been posting various adverts - Estrid razors, Flash floor cleaner, make up brushes, and Hello Fresh, plus a couple of tags for WEBL.
- Rambo's birthday dawned, and of course with it came all the reposts of arse licking birthday posts
instead of just texting her "happy birthday", all her nearest and dearest seem to feel that they need to publicly post calling her a queen and saying "love you so much". Even Arsetrid popped up, saying they'd need to come for dinner.
- they're back from Sri Lanka, and it's straight back to rinsing the huns. R said she's got "loads of Sri Lanka content" and asked what people want to see (stories, reels etc). Nothing says "I love and miss my daughter" like recording every interaction with her to make money off it when you get home.
- over on PatreCon, we saw Sloshy gleefully hiding the eggs that he knew Seb would want, because Seb had committed the cardinal sin of *checks notes* not putting some toilet rolls away. He even said "if you dance with the devil, you better be ready for the fires of hell". Lighten up a bit dickhead, it's only a few bog rolls FFS.
- Rashflaps shared some aff links to sex toys on PatreCon, and included a lush little story about how when she left her first husband (the one who apparently subjected her to a decade of horrific, vomit inducing abuse) she used to go on sunbeds and get herself off with a toy while she was in there
if it's even true, firstly most women who have left an abusive relationship and are now a single parent to 2 young children will probably admit that a sunbed and orgasm are probably quite low down their list of priorities, and secondly, did she ever clean the sunbed down afterwards, or would she just leave her rancid fanny juice all over it for the next person to lie in? Absolute minger
- Isaac, who is 16 and right in the middle of his GCSEs, went out to Exeter, got drunk and "bumped into Josh's colleagues". Think you mean ex-colleagues Ratfish.
- because there's a heatwave in the UK, Rashflaps took the opportunity to show off her new, expensive garden furniture, all with accompanying aff links of course
- on PatreCon, she was absolutely horrified when Joyce pointed out that Seb would cope fine without her (for example, if he went to join Betsy). She also showed her nasty side, snarling at Joyce "if you speak like that again, we'll fall out for the day, so be warned" after SHE had interrupted HIM
she also mentioned that their kids are all "really good". As long as you disregard the underage drinking, drug taking, vaping, being sexually active, criminal damage etc., they're all so well behaved!
- anxious, autistic Lula, who struggles so much that Rabies was trying to get PIP for her, was (in her own words) "going out drinking" before working the next day and then going straight back to college. She came home late at night and was caught on the camera in the kitchen (?) eating leftover Chinese while Isaac was vaping next to her
- the next morning, Ratshit showed a number of missed calls and texts that Lula had made while she was drunk and in another town. Ignoring your underage daughter's late night attempts to contact you is not the flex you think it is hun
- the latest daily crap is filming herself driving Wilbert to school (really safe that, eye fucking yourself in your phone instead of looking at the road). She was absolutely fuming that Wilby said she had big teeth, clearly very offended that he's currently her biggest troll
go on, lad!
- Rashflaps went up to Isaac's bedroom and showed off his new sofa (aff linked, of course), and noted bottles of alcohol which he said Linda had bought for him.
- she's all riled up again about Lula not being allowed to go to prom last year (even though she kicked off so much they let her go in the end anyway).
- her and Joyce are doing a podcast (yawn) and want to get ideas for it. Yet again Rancid, if you need to ask people what to do, you probably shouldn't be doing a podcast. Anyway, Sloshy thinks they should have people call in and talk about their problems/dilemmas, and they'll help them out with them. Sounds great, considering that previous advice to someone in an abusive relationship was "that's shit babe"
- Linda's got "food poisoning" but is still managing to drag herself around to clean up after Ratshit and her bunch of ungrateful kids.
- Lula's now finished college and passed her course, but has decided she's not going back next year
- Isaac's now been roped in to modelling the latest round of WEBL t-shirts
- a rambling story about socks (with an aff link, of course), including an aside into when Betsy was little and Rashflaps had to use "dial up internet on a massive computer in the lounge"
- apparently the Snatchwork bank account is "nearly empty", probably as "empty" as the bursting shelves of food in the pantry, so she's on the beg. Her and sappy Jo have got "loads of plans" for the centre, including a journalling group for teenage girls.
- yet again Rancid was filming herself while driving, rambling on about how she was off to meet latest best friend Lizzie. She also said she was going to be putting a load of clothes on Vinted, because "the centre have got enough clothes in my size", and talked about going in the clothes room and missing things, she seemed like she was about to to say she takes stuff back, then stopped herself and said shed "accidentally" driven to Wilbur's school
realised that saying you take back things you've donated to "the women" was a step too far, did you?
- over on Patreon, while in her bra doing her makeup up, she talked about how Edie is having problems at school, having been suspended 30 times since October and had 3 managed moves. She wanged on about how all this has been in the last 8 months, since she's been living with her dad, with absolutely no recognition that it's probably more likely the parenting (or lack of) that went on for the 12 years prior . Basically Edie can't behave , won't stay in lessons, hasn't been in school at all for about 4 months due to suspensions. Because of her behaviour, no school in the area want to take Edie, so she might end up at a school that Rabies clearly thinks is below her precious offspring, almost sneering as she said it's all vulnerable children there. Never mind the fact that Edie is also vulnerable, by virtue of the fact she hasn't been parented and has had her entire life splashed online since she was a toddler
- another day, another round of filming herself while driving with Wilby in the front seat and not strapped in properly
this time Wilby grassed up Isaac for getting arrested (Ratchet said it was mistaken identity), but also mentioned that 16 year old Isaac had been out, got hammered, and come home and gone to sleep in Seb's bed. Seb was not impressed when he came home "with company" and found Isaac in his bed, and kicked him out. Meanwhile, 12 year old Edie turned off the location on her phone at 9.45pm and nobody knew where she was. Tell me again how everyone's asking you to write a book about parenting teens.....
- because Father's Day is coming up, of course she's got a handy list of aff linked products that Joyce loves, so she would totally recommend getting all of them
- the latest round of crappy REBL clothes is here, with a terrible skirt (£56), t-shirt (£56) and shorts (£49), all made from sweater material, and in a lush insipid pink colour. There's also a leopard print cross body bag (£33) and backpack(£49.50), but don't worry if you can't afford it all huns, she accepts Klarna - even though she won't let Seb use it for buying stuff
- Paignton police posted on Facebook about youths "urban exploring" abandoned buildings, and having taken some into custody. But sure, we all still believe that Isaac being arrested was "mistaken identity"
- Father's Day brought with it a self indulgent post, including the usual bingo card of 'broken babies', 'being loved for the first time', 'the hardest times' and 'safe space'
despite the constant arguments leading to days of not speaking, and discussions about him moving out
- while Rashflaps was busy straddling Joyce in the garden (what a terrible day for the neighbours to have eyes), Wilby was left unsupervised long enough to "mop" the floor, leaving water all over the place. While Sloshy got on with actually cleaning it all up, Rancid filmed herself going "oh no! It's everywhere! It's like a river through the house", helpful as ever
- Ratfuck is planning a "Patreon Party" in Manchester to celebrate her birthday next year, and apparently "all ticket money will be invested in the party". So basically she wants to have a massive piss up paid for by the huns. Ticket prices are
• VIP ticket ( early bird) £155
• VIP ticket (regular) £175
• Standard ticket (early bird) £100
• Standard ticket (regular) £120
The VIP ticket includes early entry, a meet and greet with the Patreon Saint herself, and access to a VIP balcony where you can lord it over the plebs who've bought the cheaper tickets
- Rabid filmed herself driving again, and thank fuck she didn't have any kids in the car with her because she was distracted looking at herself in the camera, and took both hands off the wheel multiple times while the car was moving. She rambled on about various things, including Edie and her mate going swimming in the sea in their school uniforms, the time she waved a kid across the road and he was hit by a car coming the other way, and having run out of petrol
- despite the UK suffering a heatwave during which the record for the hottest day was broken at least 3 times, Rancid carried on plugging her thick, fluffy jumpers
- in a reel on the grid, she made Joyce read out his diary and then told him it was "too negative". It was like a kid going back to Year 2 and having to write out what they did over the weekend - "woke up, took Wilby to school, stopped for a pastry on the way home...."
There was a little titbit about a call with Rambo's publisher which didn't go as well as hoped, hopefully they told her to knock off trying to be an "author" because she can't write for shit
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They didn't "pull" him, it's an option offered to all year 10 and 11 students locally, many move here because they do a different mix of subjects to the traditional. Although I also know many kids who went to the school he left and managed to attend quite happily without daily calls home for their behaviour. What is the common denominator here? Why have they sent all their kids (apart from Betsy - her choice and Wilbert - because he is too young) to this school if it is so terrible?
