Amazing thread title thanks to @I'mThankyou_ (can't seem to tag you, sorry!). Evri Kevri is driving over in his van with a toddler necklace, an ill fitting knitted top and skirt combo, and a set of Iconic make up brushes for you to poke yourself in the face with
Last thread recap:
- Rachael with an extra (paid full price for) E is a gigantic thrushy cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- on PatreCON, she was filming herself filming reels, and asking Jo if she looked like a cunt having a Mulberry bag because other people can't afford one. Jo was an absolute simpering wet wipe, going "you wrote a book, it was a Sunday Times Bestseller, you bought yourself a beautiful bag"
Jo hun, £60k a year isn't worth pussyfooting around your boss like that! She then stood in her underwear saying that she's going to give a talk to "hundreds of judges, magistrates, CAFCASS workers" and then she's off to London to be a "court friend", to sit on a panel about how the courts don't do enough for DA victims. Then she was having a go at Sloshy for throwing out her ring lights when he cleaned out the conservatory, and called Linda a liar for helping him mislead her about it. He even helped her look for them before admitting that he'd thrown them away. She even made up a little song about it, like the well adjusted, mature 40 year old woman that she is. Meanwhile Tallulah was back at school for the first day and was frantically texting Rabies asking her to call, which she ignored because she was busy on a live
and asked Joyce to call or text her instead. She also claimed that Lula didn't leave the house during half term - so we all imagined her at the pumpkin patch, the pub, and dressed all matchy matchy with Betsy and Wilbert then?
- she shared Betsy's train details, because everyone needs to know exactly where a teenager will be on a cross country journey, don't they? Unfortunately New Street station had to be evacuated, leaving Betsy in a panic and Rambo offering for Slosh to come and get her.
- Edie and Wilbur went to a Halloween party arranged by Nina (mum of Jordan the village idiot). Level 3 autistic Wilbert seemed to cope ok with a party full of strangers, while eating not one but two sugary lollies.
- Jo's becoming even more of a doormat, if that's possible. She came and emptied the pumpkins out of the boot and arranged them at the door, and was then in the kitchen washing up (while her own child was sat with an iPad). Meanwhile Linda was there, sorting out washing, while Raq lounged around not even dressed.
- with Ratchet obviously far too important and busy to be doing things like pick her own kids up, Betsy collected Edie from gymnastics (despite having had a "cracking night" out and being "hanging" according to Linda).
- up in the sex loft, Rambo did one of her meandering stories, starting with how Jo had left her engagement ring on the draining board in the kitchen and Joyce threw it out thinking it was one of Betsy or Lula's cheap ones. Luckily it was rescued and now Racket's wearing it to keep it safe. She talked about seeing her management in London, who are of course "lush", and said she never goes on Facebook because of the trolls
(even though her last post on there was a week ago). She reckons it's not just trolls from England, it's people who don't like her from all over the world! She waffled on for ages about how they looked at her insights and people love it when she posts Sloshy's cooking and what she's wearing, so there'll be more of that
and she'll be doing more reels even though she hates them.
- on PatreCON, she filmed them in the car on their way to a meeting. Apparently No Job Norman takes over and acts like he's the boss, which winds her up. Imagine b
- trying to be professional in a meeting and you've got #couplegoals bickering like a pair of teenagers in front of you 🫣 Slosh struggled to think of another word for "business" (desperately trying to not let the huns know that's what it is).
- Tattlers noted that her next shitrag book is now available to pre-order on Amazon, which she then announced several hours later - this is the BIG COUNTDOWN EXCITING NEWS she's been plugging, shame Amazon stole her thunder! It's called *drumroll* The Patchwork Family. I mean, we all knew she has zero imagination, but fuck me, Edie could have come up with something better than that! Apparently it's really hard because "so many people have been fuckers to our family, and people I thought loved me and were my friends and family". So who's first on the list to be slung under the bus then? Obviously W (Betsy and Tallulah's dad), S (Seb and Isaac's mum) and V (the Apicellas' mum), possibly Stabby Jo, maybe even Emily? We can't wait to find out! Although not enough to actually pay for it, of course! Other highlights will include a significant chunk about trolls (don't forget to mention us in the acknowledgements babe!), Wilbur and his "level 3 autism journey"
and her mum's cancer. This was all on her PatreCON though, the non-paying scumbags had to wait a few hours for the announcement. She promises that she'll share "so much more than she ever could online". Because details of hers and her daughters' menstrual cycles, her persistent thrush and urine infections (including a video of her sloshing a piss sample around) and the fact her husband has no foreskin just isn't enough, is it?
- they're having some more work done to the murder mansion, fuck knows what this time but no doubt it will be shit and tacky.
- it turns out that the Very Important Meeting where she's telling hundreds of judges and magistrates how to do their jobs is actually taking part in a Family Court Forum in Hampshire. Not really what she described, is it?
- Apparently she's only just sent the last of the book off for editing (so it's really really recent), but Sloshy read it while he was working in the shit shop. So is it finished or not? And if it is, it's obviously such a shit read that it can be knocked through by a hungover jobless bum sitting in an empty shop that's decorated like a bad acid trip. Not really a ringing endorsement, is it?
- meanwhile the huns are all frothing at the gash to let her know they've ordered it, they can't wait, they're so excited for the next instalment *yawn*. One even said she's only ever read Racket's books, clearly you can't trust the opinion of someone who's got nothing to compare it to
- on the book launch post on Facebook, someone asked whether she still works with DA victims, as it's not in her bio on Instagram any more
will she answer, or will she delete and block?
- Reptile has done her first fashion reel, with an oh-so-relatable outfit costing £1,430.
- Ringpiece keeps drip feeding little snippets from the book - at this rate she'll have shown the entire thing before release day!
- apparently LOADS of people were asking about her outfit, so she's done the reel and tagged everything, including the tacky necklace. What a coincidence that so many people wanted to know, just after Apprentice Alan said she needs to do more fashion content!
- on PatreCON, she was talking about Seb and Isaac arguing, she'd found out via his phone that he's vaping, and Seb said he was a loser because he was smoking weed at that age (Thrush Bucket Thelma laughed at this, saying "if he was smoking weed in year 8 he'd still be grounded now"). Apparently it wasn't in year 8, but he did try some weed at a party, had a whitey and rang his grandma. Not his dad or stepmum, he called Gangster Granny when he was in need. She reckons they "don't name call" in their house, then straight away called Seb a dickhead. In a different video, she said that Seb was in a car accident a few days ago, but hadn't told them, his "new bird" and her family had helped out, and she had persuaded him to tell the toxic twosome. Of course it RUINED her book launch night
Apparently the same thing happened to Bratsy in the same place last year. She then referred to all 6 children as "little bastards", (see the earlier claim that they don't name call
). In yet more Patreon ramblings, she gave Lula her debit card so she could go to town after school with her mates and spend £40 on a school bag. Then Lula rang to say she wanted to spend over £200 on a coat. Then came home, without a new bag OR coat, and announced that she didn't want the Bolognese Sloshy Joshua had made, as she'd already had a McDonald's with her mates.
- Saviour Sally disappeared off to Hampshire for her pretend "important meeting", and reckons she got a standing ovation. Sure, Jan. Meanwhile, back at the Snatchwork mansion, Seb's complaining in the group chat about Bratsy bullying him and them always taking her side. Are NotaPC Noballs and his thick cunt wife rushing back to sort their kids out? Of course not, they're posing in a restaurant in Southampton and probably pretending that they're strangers about to have a one night stand
top tip Rectum - try disinfecting your sex toys once in a while, and maybe you won't end up with thrush and cystitis for a change!
Just a reminder that a D&C police officer was dismissed for misconduct, with the date of this article being the same date as a certain person started their "career break"...
'Through their actions the officer undermined the public’s trust and confidence in the police force'
www.devonlive.com
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October: Herpes Lodge (weekend), Friday night in Southampton
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
She should know SO much better than this it beggars belief. Just to clear up a few points though - chemo can be before or after surgery and also doesn’t necessarily make you very frail and weak. I was relatively chipper throughout - it depends very much on the individual and the type of chemo used. I’ll definitely keep fighting the bastard and it’s currently in remission - happy days! (No need to post anything in reply to this - I can feel all your good wishes so you don’t need to write them down and use up the rest of the thread 
).
