New thread title thanks to
@GreaseSpot , the courier formerly known as Hermes Kevin (now Evri Kevri) is on his way to you with a load of period pants and a voucher for some piss poor tattoos. Off you go on your career break to love us Tattle bastards the hardest ever!
Last thread recap:
- Rancho is still a massive cunt
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids
- Ratchet appears to have got someone in to paint a bit of skirting board to see if she likes the colours (it's unclear whether it's a tradesperson or an "adopted dad"). She didn't like the purple and grey sampled because it looked "cheap as fuck". Exactly like she does in her Gucci everything
- Sloshy tried to assert his authority by calling a meeting with Rack and Linda (Stabby Jo's mum) and complaining about some clothes in the conservatory. Apparently they've been there over 12 months, and Ratarse said she'd sell them. Never mind that they were apparently collecting donations of clothes for "the women at the centre", maybe Sweaty Betty is a different size so doesn't want Rambo's cast offs
- we saw a glimpse of the prison shower room for the first time in months, it looks like it needs to a good scrub, but they actually chose tiles that look like a filthy public toilet!
- Thrushy Thelma shared a photo and message with a small business about ordering a bum bag thing for Birdshit Benny for father's day, a Tattler found it online retailing for £140. What a bargain
- Rawhide reckons she can't go to the place she goes to get flowers from any more because Wilby knows there's a play area there and has a meltdown when they have to leave
let's gloss over the fact she previously said she got all her flowers from a lady on a bike in Totnes, and before that she got pissed and ordered herself a flower subscription from somewhere else
anyway, she contacted the lady who sells flowers, and said she can't go any more because of her severely autistic toddler (as another aside, Tic Tac Teeth Tony hasn't been to "work" since she announced he was taking a career break to "look after Wilby". Two parents not working, a childminder, and a small selection of seventy babysitters, and Ronseal can't find time without Wilbert to go and pick up a bunch of flowers). Well would you believe it, the woman is really lush and does a subscription service!
- the hobbit loft was an absolute tip, so Rambo filmed herself tidying up and making the bed, and ended with a quick reminder that she's got a sea view.
- off to the Snatchwork brothel, sorry, jumble sale shop, because Sloshy's working behind the counter and she needs to make sure he's not putting little Sloshy into someone else's hobbit hole. He was sat in his anorak and cap listening to Ibiza tunes and looking like a right sad sack. Apparently his favourite products are the cushions - one of which has a picture of Frida Kahlo, as a nod to our very own
@FridaK 
- there's a new "delightfully broken" t-shirt out, plus some offers on their other jumpers (over ordered and not selling them, Rack?). Should be marked as an #ad but she never bothers
- she filmed Wobbly watching his ipad. No wonder the child has been slow to speak, she made no attempt to interact with him, talk about what he was watching etc, just sat in silence filming him so she could write a caption about his "flappy hands" (she may as well have put "look, he is definitely autistic")
- next up was filming Edie and Ibiza Ian playing with Wilby with his shape sorter. Something they could have done with introducing him to months ago, but here we are. Of course Tellytubbies was playing on the iPad behind him, because heaven forbid he has to be away from a screen at any time, and again Ratchet didn't join in, she just sat filming. After some twirling around in his bedroom, Wilbert was filmed falling asleep on the sofa with Rampart and Sloshy, the poor kid has zero privacy
- in the morning, PA Jo was up in the hobbit loft sat on the floor (bit weird, there's 2 lounges and a large kitchen table downstairs, why would you have your mate/employee up a stepladder and in your bedroom?) while Anorak Alan leaned in through the door blabbering on about his new mate the chef (the one who makes cordial). He said Betsy was ringing him, Racket (remember, the mum who would kill and die for her kids, apparently) said "just ignore her, it's the best thing we can do with her today".
- Rancid was putting on her slap, while filming some rambling stories. Betsy slept in Lula's room (shed not good enough? Fallen out with GG?). Edie had to take money in to school for something, so Racket gave her £3 for herself, and £20 to give out to the kids whose parents have forgotten
then Sloshy phoned because there was a kid crying because their mum forgot, and he wanted to know what class Edie was in so he could take the crying girl to her. Quick mention of the trolls (bricking it because one of your arse-licking small businesses breached GDPR and then you doxxed someone?). Then on to something about showering Wilby on an Instagram live on the PatreCON (surely anyone signing up to watch that needs to be on some sort of register
). The dogs are on raw food and aren't allowed any treats because their stomachs are so sensitive (apart from when she advertised that dog-cam thing where you can give them treats via a phone app). Anyway, she bought some natural dog treats, which gave both dogs the squits. Then we were treated to a full description of how she cleans up the dog shit, including a demonstration of what Winston does when he needs to go. Lush. She went on to say that trolls had been reporting them for not having a license to play music in the shop - it was discussed on Tattle after she'd shown Hot Pants Harold playing his Ibiza choons in the shit shop, but nobody is arsed to report it. It's all ok, because they have got a license, because PA Jo works hard for her £60k, and is already on it. Except she's not, because the only license is for the launderette next door, so tell Sloshy he's not allowed his Anker speaker in there any more hun. After the troll interlude, it was back to Winston shitting and puking
- finally the dots of doom were over, and it was off to the shop to "give it one of them" to the trolls by playing Lily Allen's "fuck you" on the speaker in the shop (even though we know they haven't actually got a license). Imagine walking past, seeing the bizarre window display, and thinking "oh, looks quirky, might have a look in there", and when you go in there's a manic woman filming herself dancing around singing "fuck you". What a good job there's never any customers in there!
- an advert for Glossy Box, with Ronseal calling l'Occitaine "lock-e-tane"
- overnight the dogs ate some garlic naan - for information Raq, garlic is poisonous to dogs. But instead of being concerned for their well-being, Rambo just used it as FML content
then she took a photo of some dog vomit on the floor, really scraping the barrel there
- she's had Edie (wearing hot pants and a crop top) working in the shop.
- they deployed to the beach, with Edie and Wilby. Rancho just had to point out Wilby's "happy hands" as Joyce and Edie threw stones into the water
- some quality content from the family group chat, with Nail Clipper Norman telling the kids not to leave takeaway wrappers with food in the bin as it will attract rats - aside from the fact the biggest rat around there is the one he's married to, and the garden is filled with birds which will mean seed everywhere, which will attract vermin more than a teaspoon of mushy peas in the bin
- #couplegoals Queen Lateetha and Hot Pants Harold headed out for lunch, with Sloshy uploading a "candid" photo of Rack, which she artfully managed to show off her Gucci shades in. What a hero!
- Rabid Raq videoed herself stroking Betsy's arm, and it looked like Betsy was upset.
- we were treated to a whole load of waffle about the window display at the shop (which looks like some sort of fever dream, but is apparently called "walking away" and is supposed to represent someone leaving an abusive relationship, and handily uses some doll houses that were left behind by the last tenants).
- A Q&A on the Patreon included one about her mum, and as usual Rawhide didn't miss an opportunity to throw her under the bus, waffling about how "nobody looks after her like I do", I mean, nobody else uses her cancer diagnosis and treatment for sympathy and likes on Instagram, but here we are
then there was a bit of shade thrown at Betsy and Lula's dad (which nobody even asked for). You'd think a 40 year old who is "so happy and in love and has the best husband and family ever" would be past slagging off an ex from many years (and several relationships) ago, especially one who apparently has been having therapy for years. Despite not having been anywhere near the police station in months, apparently Joyce has has last shift coming up. Will his colleagues be queueing up to pat him on the back and wish him well on his "career break", or are they breathing a collective sigh of relief that the wimpy twat whose wife is constantly on the phone because she can't wipe her own arse without him is finally pissing off?
- in another new low point, Rabid filmed Wilby while he was having what looked like a play therapy session. The therapist wasn't in shot but could be heard encouraging and praising him, what a shame Rectum was too busy filming to join in herself and pick up some tips on supporting her child to develop
- Razor did an ad for the tutoring service, and waffled on about Seb and how much it has helped him. Except only the other week she said he was probably going to fail all his exams, and his spineless dad and selfish stepmum pissed off to notBarbados so they weren't even there to support him during his first week of exams
- down at the second centre, she was posing around with a sunglasses chain, obviously to show off the Gucci shades yet again. Wet Weekend Walter was hanging around in the background, because now he's jacked in work he has nothing to do all day but follow Thrushy Thelma around
- Flat Chested Freda shared a video from the dog walker of Winston looking happy for once in his life. Two jobless adults and 4 teenagers in that house, and yet they pay someone to walk the dogs
- Renegade left a comment on a Nivea ad said "I've got grey hairs but can't grow a beard", wrong account again hun?
-
it's Day One of Birdkiller Brian's career break (even though it's only 14th June and she said it was starting on 15th
). Of course the whole (pretend) career break is worthy of a grid post, to get the huns frothing at the gash over the fact her spineless prick husband has finally put her above his career and jacked it in. Apparently instead of Sloshy working "all over the country" (I guess she means that one guest appearance at the protests in Bristol that time), she'll "work a little harder on the internet" (
please not Only Fans, please not Only Fans) so they can do the school run together. Of course it's all down to the trolls, who make false reports every week
- then she came on stories to waffle on about it some more. She said he'd brought home all his awards and certificates (awww, well done Sloshy for getting your Cycling Proficiency and your scout badge for disturbing bird's nests
maybe your lord and saviour might let you stick them on the fridge). He sent an email to 11 people, after 15 years that was all he could muster up to bother saying goodbye to, and left straight after, and sent a message to the WhatsApp group and left (probably knowing that nobody really cares). It's all basically down to trolls (snore), they have to investigate every claim they get and there are SO MANY and they have to investigate every single one blah blah blah. So is it to spend more time with the kids, or is it because of trolls? Because you've said both Racket
then she said they're going to look at pre schools and a sensory room (together, obviously, because he can't be out of her sight). Poor lickle Sloshy and Rectum have realised over the last 12 months that they don't spend enough time with the kids because they're both so busy working (and pissing off away together just the two of them). Pigeon Legs Pete has been "working" up to 50 hours a week (the poor cunt must never sleep, if he's been working all those hours on top of all the hours Rancid has been filming him every day). To celebrate the fact that Hot Pants Harold has started his career break to *checks notes* spend more time with the kids, they're pissing off to Herpes Lodge for a midweek break. Yes, you couldn't actually make this shit up
if you haven't seen Herpes Lodge, it's basically a shack in someone's back garden, with no wifi or telly, and looks like it should be condemned
- she's been sent a load of shite from her mates at Porky Penguin, including (just for a change) a fucking treasure hunt
who does a treasure hunt for Father's Day? She did her usual charade of reading out the clues and going "oh I'm so shit, I can never get these hahaha
- she's advertising period pants again, saying she's invested loads in them (well she hasn't really, as she's got them all for free in return for advertising them).
- the following news article appeared in Devon Live, leading to speculation that Sloshy could be the officer involved....
'Through their actions the officer undermined the public’s trust and confidence in the police force'
www.devonlive.com
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shag a married man 
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