Thread title thanks to @I'mThankyou_ (I can't seem to tag you
). Sending you approval for a career break and a canoe!
Last thread recap:
- she's still a massive cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- still at the adventure playground, with Emily and Scouse Jenna of course, because Rancho and Slosh can't possibly take their child out for the day without help. She filmed Wilby pinching Joyce's face, and captioned it "ending the day with another mark" (when we all know he probably just swooped in and grabbed Wilby to go home without speaking or giving him any warning).
- one of them made a pasta bake thing, which will definitely not feed a family of 8.
- the latest advert for a product she loves is Elastoplast scar plasters, during which she mentioned that she had gestational diabetes with Wilby (really, Rack? Because you NEVER mentioned it at the time, and stuffed your face with junk the entire 9 months, including cornflakes with double cream on). She then went on to say that her scar after Wilby was double the length from when she had Edie (I didn't realise that surgeons could accurately predict the size of the baby and made the cut accordingly
).
- Some footage of Edie and Wilby throwing a ball around, to promote the "oh dear" jumpers. Should be marked #ad Racquet.
- Wilby was playing with some toys in a water tray, providing a perfect opportunity to talk to him about the shapes, colours, counting etc, but Useless Eunice just sat filming saying things like "are you lining them up" (even though he clearly wasn't lining anything up). She had to point out that Lula was wearing her tracksuit
- Up in the hobbit loft, Betsy came to complain that Joyce wouldn't lend her his headphones for the gym (I mean, let's not mention the fact that she advertised some Bluetooth ear buds just before Christmas a couple of years ago, plus she apparently works all the hours she can but doesn't have to pay for anything, so could easily buy her own). Mrs "I'm mum of the year, my kids can talk to me about anything" said "go away, I'm trying to read" Then Seb appeared, wearing Isaac's dressing gown, and asked if he could have one of his own. Ratchet's reply? "No". Rolling in cash and happy to splash it on ugly designer clothes for herself, but won't get the stepson that she loves so hard a bloody dressing gown. He's grounded, but asked if he could go to Totnes with Rancho, Sloshy and Wilby. Her reply? "You need to stop hanging out with me, your dad, and Wilby. Go away and get into bed".
- on PatreCON, Rancho said that Emily is a great mum to Fred, but struggles being a single mum and being on her own in the evening etc (top tip Racket - if YOU hadn't nagged her into moving miles away from her family, she'd have more support and help
). She then went on to talk about when she left her first husband, she lived with a friend who also had a child, and they shared the childcare etc between them. I mean, here we all were thinking that was when you moved into the piss soaked, needle filled bedsit just you and your babies and a hoover that smelled like old fags and beer
.
- also on Patreon, she announced that Sloshy's "career break" has been approved, so from 15 June he will be at home to support her with Wilby. Seeing as his "days off" are usually spent just him and Ratchet, with Wilby shipped off to the childminder, how much child-rearing he will actually be doing remains to be seen.
- she did a load of "poor me" rambling, all about how hard it is dealing with Wilby, how they can't take him in shops etc because his sensory overload is so bad that he can't cope (apart from that time in the garden centre a few weeks ago, and that time at the kitchen supplies shop where they had to buy him some wooden spoons, and all the times he's been dragged out to pubs an restaurants etc). Apparently they took him to The Range once in lockdown and he wound himself up so much he projectile vomitted. The old "he was a lockdown baby" excuse was trotted out again
she obviously been googling the traits of people who have autism so she can list them off when talking about him. She seems to be confusing usual toddler tantrums with "meltdowns". She says that he will bang his head on concrete paths, or grab and bite his own arm (with a patch that's constantly "yellow with pus" where he grabs it so hard). Funny how he's often shown in short sleeves or just a nappy (or even in the bath for an advert) and these marks on him have never been seen
she said she was so naive or uneducated, that's not what she said when she reckoned she was trained in diagnosis for 20 years
- Arsetrid treated us to a look at the new pound shop, which is currently resembling some kind of bad acid trip crossed with a migraine
about 3 shelves and fuck all stock, black and white checked floor tiles, a leopard print wall and curtains. Honestly not somewhere that a lot of people would feel welcome walking into. Asteroid said she couldn't wait for the window display (which won't actually be seen from outside due ro the frosted glass, so seems like a waste of space and effort). A Tattler found one item being sold elsewhere for half the price Rancho is flogging it for.
- another weekend, another single female friend having a sleepover
Ratchet and Sloshy provided entertainment in the form of playing games. Absolutely thrilling content.
- Arsetrid and Simon came round for tea, amazing really after the last sad plate of crap they were served at the murder mansion.
- there was a shambolic live on the Patreon, which was so bad Rack said she wouldn't save it like she usually does. Betsy's friend GG has moved in (as the new nanny, perhaps?), and Rancid was sitting with both of them while Lula was talking about camping. The three of them were acting like mean girls, rolling their eyes and taking the piss. Raq told Lula to go away, and when Lula asked why BeKind could stay, B said it was because she wasn't annoying. Apparently Betsy has been bringing home random men for one night stands in the shed, Rancho thinks this is funny. Racquet needed Joyce to take a career break because she can't cope with the school runs, but she's going to keep him busy at the pound shop and he's going to also volunteer at the zoo (we all know that bit will never happen). Betsy had been kicked out of home for 2 weeks.
- Bellend Ben is back on the scene, which means another terrible podcast is on the way. Sloshy joined in with the quiz, with Rancho looking jealous that he watched Blue Peter as a kid and knew the name of a female presenter.
- the Airwaves advert that she accidentally put on Facebook and then deleted a couple of weeks ago has finally arrived, and it's a corker! Gushing over a giant box, wanging on about "celebrating" two years of working from home, making out that chewing gum can help you achieve your goals. Ok hun!
- silly old Rancid only got drunk and ordered herself a canoe when she can't even swim, what is she like?!
- in an undeclared #ad for her tat shop, she showed Wilby in some leggings, and said "that was a bad night, wasn't it", even though Wilby was pointing to her and Slosh and saying "mummy, daddy", she just kept saying "yeah" at him. No wonder he's been slow to pick up speaking.
- in yet another "left the toddler unsupervised in the hope of getting some content" scenario, Ratchet went into Wilby's room to find he had apparently got hold of a bottle of talc (or as the bestselling author calls it, "talc 'n' powder") and emptied it across his room. But strangely enough, he managed not to get a single speck of it on himself, just like that time he somehow managed to spill paint in a perfect little puddle and didn't get any on himself. She then gave him back the bottle to carry on
Despite her saying that he says "oh dear" out of context to soothe himself, he clearly said "oh dear Mummy", which sounds pretty in context to me.
- and yet again, Wilby was left alone in his bedroom
where Rancho came in followed by Seb (she said he was there because Sloshua had confiscated his x-box). Even Merlot Mike doesn't know where it is (maybe he hid it when he was off his tits on something), and was looking through piles of Ratchet's discarded clothes for it. Rack found it, and made out to Slosh and Seb that she was a fucking hero
- obviously keen to set up Mangina Malcolm as an influencer for his career break, Rancid filmed a "haul" of things he had supposedly bought for Wilby. He pulled out some pink shorts/leggings and Rawhide said "oh I got those for Edie", so who actually made the order?
- Queen Lateetha did an advert for Look Fantastic where she did her make up, one Tattler said she looked like an ape looking through a box of tools
naughty Nora showed some Iconic products without marking them as an #ad, and was also wearing a headband from her own patchwork quid shop, tut tut Raq!
- on the Patreon, Rancho said that the centre is going well, Emily had one woman who arrived in the morning and was rehoused by 2pm, what a miracle! Then she revealed that another woman they had helped ages ago (taught her how to cook etc) had unfortunately had her kids taken off her as she was back on drugs. The social worker rang Emily to say he was "broken" at having to take the kids away (not sure that's something a social worker would usually do
). She then later shared a text apparently from this person going into detail about how they were addicted and having suicidal ideation etc. GDPR? Never heard of her, mate! In other news, Ratshit doesn't know how to parent Betsy, Seb and Lula. Lula has been having "bad meltdowns" and the school have advised that she needs a diagnosis so they can properly support her (yet only a couple of weeks ago she wasn't bothering getting her diagnosed because the school were so amazing? Maybe buy a notebook to keep track of your lies Rambo).
- as a special treat, I've included the video of Raquel's bum shuffle out of the hobbit loft, because it never fails to amuse me!
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.
