New thread title thanks to
@Chuff offohc 
I had to edit the swear, original version was "shelley says rach is a lying cunt pass it on"
We've had a whip round via the PayPal and we're sending you some clown make up and a picture of a sea view to celebrate!
Last thread recap:
- Ratchet is, as always, a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- it's International Women's Day, and more importantly, the launch of the online quid shop! So Racket, PA Jo, and Emily were at the sweatshop taking pictures for the website. Which involved Rawhide lying on the floor wearing socks. Arsetrid arrived, looking like a bag lady who'd wandered in off the street. It turns out the Porky Penguin lot are there because of their experience in selling shit online, they'll be forgotten as soon as Raq has rinsed them of their knowledge. More pissing around taking photos (looks like the extremely busy launderette was shut again, as Emily was modelling jumpers), then Sloshy turned up - when was the last time he was actually working?
- she reshared the post begging for a pushchair, saying "needed again due to unforeseen circumstances", we're assuming that means nobody was stupid enough to buy it the other day.
- back at the fucking sweatshop, she'd dragged Edie along, then Emily turned up with her son in his pyjamas. She seems able to get a babysitter to go out on the piss every weekend, but can't find one when she's "working"?
- At home, Rancho had to film herself being cuddled by Betsy, who probably still had Colombian flu from the weekend.
- some Tattlers checked out the website, and reported back that it was (as predicted) full of overpriced tat. One neon light being sold for £25.99 is available on Shein for £5.99
and others noted that there is an option at the checkout to add a tip.
- an eagle eyed Tattler spotted Fred and Noah leggings for sale on the site for £20, which you can buy directly from them starting at £8.50
wonder how long they'll carry on gifting her stuff when she's putting that sort of mark up on them!
- Arsetrid has got covid! After spending yesterday in close proximity to the "Patchwork girls", will they all now be struck down? We can but hope! Not that Raq would tell us anyway, seeing as she didn't the two previous times she's had it
- on Patreon, apparently PC Titwank had 'a breakdown' over the weekend, asking Raq if she loves him
she doesn't you spineless twat, she just wants someone she can bully and manipulate, and you were the perfect candidate
- also on Patreon, she reckons they took £17k worth of orders on the first night of the Patchwork quid shop being live. She's having a bubble bath if she thinks that's sustainable though, her followers aren't going to be buying £40 jumpers and £5 scrunchies every week. She also said that the launderette has a deputy manager and another member of staff, tell us you read Tattle without telling us you read Tattle hun
- Nostrils McGee filmed Ratchet climbing around inside the car. Nope, no idea why.
- OF COURSE some brainless twat has finally bought that pram she begged for
accompanied by a sob story about how one of the women they support who had used the last of her money on fuel to look at a second hand pram that wasn't what was advertised. Because women who have nothing can totally afford to tax, insure, and run a car, can't they? She also said that someone else has bought a needed chest freezer.
- a Tattle detective did some late night digging on Facebook, and discovered a some posts by Ratshit's ex stepsister. The first one was a photo of the book with the caption "Well, well, well. My best mate sent me this today. What an utter load of trash.
My what I used to call ‘sister’. This whole book of bollox, how she is the victim, how her childhood was sooooo bad!! Well I was there too and there is so so much missing. I could add a huge amount of missing chapters into this. But, you know what, I won’t waste my time, people who me and her, know this is utter crap.
Cheers you spiteful bitch!!!!!!!", followed by two videos of the book being burnt
people waded into the comments, saying that Raq was a bully at school, that Ratchet and her "cult" give them dirty looks and verbal abuse, and someone even claimed to have gossip on Sloshy! A particular favourite comment of mine was "only famous to chavs"
an old comment of Mannah's was also unearthed, with her being foul mouthed and abusive. No wonder she gets on so well with Toothy Tina
- back in the fake world of Rancid's Instagram, the mate who filmed Emily pissing around on the floor at the launderette is keeping her tongue firmly inserted into Raq's anus, with yet another post saying how amazing they are
- it's village idiot Jordan's birthday, which obviously has to be commemorated with a post about Raq, which referenced the poverty porn tour last year, where they came home with not only a dose of smugness, but also Covid (still no sign of the "documentary" they made though
)
- Joyce has apparently finished work until Monday night, when he last actually did any work that wasn't being the tea boy at the sweatshop is unclear.
- Wilby's latest phrase is *oh dear", which will no doubt be coming to a jumper soon!
- yet another photo of Joyce with his hand on Rancid's neck
- oh look, for a change they've gone out for a walk so Wilby can spend all day looking at trees while Raq films him
then they took him to the garden centre, because the childminder told Ratchet that he loves it. The childminder probably didn't allow him to touch everything, and then move things around to line them up across a walkway, though
giggling and filming while saying "you can't do that here darling" but not actually making any attempt to stop or distract him is not parenting, hun. Then he whinged because they had to move it so people could walk past, so to stop him she offered to buy a fake tree.
- Sloshy had to pull the car over to "check stuff". Picking up a drug stash for his wife and teenager? Having a quick swig of wine out of a flask in his pocket? Who knows!
- A bit more looking at palm trees
because the parents who have 6 kids between them actually have no idea of what to do with a toddler. He apparently had his "worst meltdown yet" and Ratshit ended up with broken glasses, luckily she's got multiple overpriced pairs, no doubt she'll tag the company at some point in hope of getting a freebie. They were all so traumatised by the meltdown (during which he "smashed his head on the pavemen) that they had to go to Wagamamas.
- Back at the Patchwork Hamster Cage Murder Mansion, she shared a bit of her live from Patreon, with Sloshy pissed. Wilby was treated like a performing monkey "wave hello! Say oh dear"
- she shared a message from someone who'd had follow requests after tagging them on her stories, and used it as an opportunity to mention trolls (again). "They'll know your kids middle names, your postcode, and what you had for dinner last night in minutes". Rancho hun, the only reason people know all this about you is because you choose to broadcast it online
- Slosh sent a very formal message to the group chat about having adjusted the dishwasher trays. I can see why she thinks every woman ever fancies him
- Wilby's learnt to shut the front door. That'll be ace when he traps his fingers, well done Raq
- some more videos from the garden centre, with Wilby whinging again because he had to move his line so people could get past. Maybe try not teaching him that he can do whatever he wants all the time and he might not get upset?
- Rancho and PC Titwank are out for lunch again, probably raging that they had to take Wilby with them seeing as Stabby Jo is still AWOL.
- The only content (apart from the ads) seems to be Wilby looking at trees, and screeching when he doesn't get to go the way he wants to. Slosh is looking dead behind the eyes, but his foundation and contour seem to be on point!
- Dots of doom in the hobbit loft. All the kids are out except Wilby, so they've put him for a nap so they can go to bed themselves
Seb's not speaking to her. She's doing some ads that aren't ads but she's marking them as ads in case she gets reported because she doesn't have time to prove to ASA that they're not ads
first up was the Man vs Baby book (which has been sent to a load of people to promote it, which counts as an ad). Then it was Porky fucking Penguin, are you showing their products in return for their time and effort at the sweatshop? I reckon it should be an ad
a quick mention of how she knows loads of people with "arsehole exes" who don't get anything for their kids' mums for mother's day. No mention that you stole another woman's children and ruined mother's day for her for years, hun?
- Joyce was back to work on Monday, in the tat shop.
- STOP THE PRESS! They've had a curry for tea and not a roast! Wilby was roaming around throwing a ball in the kitchen.
- Raq had woken up late and wasn't ready for her and PA Jo's meeting, but had time to set the phone up to film herself putting her slap on. Ok hun.
- she's finally admitted that she's got a cleaner, looks like Stabby Jo is well and truly off the scene now. Wonder if she's "toxic" and will be thrown under the bus in the next book?
- down at the quid shop, they "urgently" need freestanding shelves. Hoping for a freebie, are we Rancho? The colour scheme appears to be bright pink with leopard print, ao it'll be like walking into a migraine
- then it was off to the new launderette, which has a eufy doorbell so should probably be an ad
- Rawhide did a question box for "if I was to write PTWM 2 what would you want to know". Surely a bestselling author should have her own fucking ideas, storylines, characters etc
- in a move that has shocked and disgusted Tattlers, Ratchet has uploaded on to her Patreon a post about having found a condom wrapper and Seb insisting it's not his, and then went on to say that he'd been to an STI clinic where the nurse apparently told him "I've followed your stepmum since the beginning" (which if true, needs to be reported as it's completely inappropriate and unacceptable). Queen of safeguarding Rancid clearly has no concept of allowing her stepson some privacy, not to mention his girlfriend. Let's hope she's 16 because otherwise, Rancho could be setting up her own stepson for a statutory rape charge
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