Queen of the thread titles
@Lucyinthesky88 has done it again! Edited to fit, the full version was
"Sloshy’s got no phone, he must be bereft;
Rach says, like the PayPal, it’s
not theft"
Hermes Kevin is on his way with Josh's robbed phone, some Dierdre Barlow specs and a lovely pair of faux leather trousers
Last thread recap:
- Rachaele Hambleton is a massive CUNT
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Dots of doom! Bit of a mix up on the timeline, as she said she'd been emotional since getting back from London yesterday. But the Refuge event was only last night, and Wiblet had a Maccy's breakfast with PA Jo this morning
Raq was all red and blotchy, a sure sign she's bullshitting. She wants to go back to how she was "before people on the internet were horrible" (aka before people starting calling you out on your lies and asking where you'd spent their money). She tried to make out she'd been invited, when actually it was a ticketed event that anyone could buy a ticket for
then she rambled into a story about her and Betsy going into refuge in 2005. With a wavering voice, wobbly lip, much hand wringing and desperately trying to muster up an actual tear or two, Rach said that Betsy now says she has no good memories of the time when her parents lived together (funny how every little conversation in that house is filmed, but this one wasn't). Apparently B remembered a couple of incidents that Rachey had blocked out, and now she feels tremendous guilt for not leaving sooner, blah blah blah. Now she wants to start shouting because she has so many messages from people who have managed to leave an abusive partner because of her (no mention of the ones that she repeatedly ignored, or only sent a purple heart in reply to). Apparently a police officer has told her they police differently because of watching her (didn't realise that opening gifted crap and expensive cardigans would be so inspiring)
- Raq doesn't care what ANYONE thinks about her on the internet, maybe piss off here and leave us to it then? She says she suffered a decade of abuse, but made no mention that it was two sided and she gave as good as she got
- of course there was a load of reposts of all her arse licking messages
One saying it was from a police officer who is going to tell their "victims" to follow Rancid. I'd love to know which highlights they'd recommend starting with! Shagging dogs? Piss breath? Or Periods?
- Raq came on in a ridiculous cardigan, including a tag for where it was from "because everyone asks" (how does she see those messages but not the ones from people desperate for help?). She said that loads of people have reached out to her, telling their stories of abuse, you could practically see the pound signs in her eyes for all the content she'll get for future bullshitting/books. She wanted to talk about the musical. She had her photo taken in front of the board, but won't share it. She's not famous enough for Refuge to have shared it either
she apparently dropped her debit card in front of someone from Little Mix (assuming that was the company one with the PTWM name on). Of course she managed to force down some pre-drinks before going, even though she hates the taste. Josh didn't want to go because he doesn't like musicals, plus with it being Refuge wouldn't it have made more sense to have taken one of her fellow CIC directors? Her mum loved Tina Turner so it was music that Ratchet grew up listening to (until she was 4 of course, when her mum abandoned her, and she vowed that day never to listen to Tina Turner ever again). Rachey was bawling her eyes out next to Little Mix and that bloke from Game of Thrones
the actors were brilliant, not surprising seeing as it's their bloody job.
- this was followed up by a plug for Racquet's Patreon
- Edie's now on the bandwagon of chatting to the phone in the hobbit loft. "Keep up with Edie", while Ratshit faffed in the background. Probably all staged to make Rachey look like a normal, busy mum, which we all know is a load of shit. Then came a timelapse of Edie making her bed (why?), then Edie apparently making Wilbert's packed lunch (for what? We all know he's off to a nursery or childminder, but Raq's never told the huns this).
- Relatable Roger videoed herself doing up Tallulah's buttons as she can't do it herself due to having acrylic nails
reminder that she's 12. Will Rancid be popping in to dress her at school after PE?
- We knew it was coming - the In The Style advert. Unfortunately the stupid mirror is out of action, so Raq had to do her modelling in the hobbit loft. Once again, all the clothes looked cheap, tacky, and far too young for Rancid. Some god awful pleather trousers
a couple of "shackets" (whatever the fuck that is), hideous puffa jacket, some jeans, cardigans that she's bizarrely wearing as a dress even though they don't fit, and a leopard print dress that looks exactly the same as Edie's vile dressing table.
- Seb has expressed an interest in joining the army (probably as a way of getting as far away from the gruesome twosome as possible), so obviously Joyce had to demonstrate how a sergeant would wake him up in the morning.
- Betsy walked out to the car in her socks (despite the fact there was an actual shower of shit running down the drive not long ago).
- Raq shared the (fugly) Adidas trainers she had on, an absolute steal at £130.
- despite leaving Emily to get on with the centre, Rachey suddenly decided she needed to be there, but silly, ditsy Rancid forgot her keys! Well she lost her keys so she borrowed Jo's and went to get another 5 cut but never went to pick them up (any time I've had keys cut they've always done it while I wait, but obviously she's far too busy and important for the few minutes that would take). Now she's too embarrassed to go back and get them (wtf?). So the "safe space" launderette has god knows how many sets of keys knocking around, sounds so secure.
- Then she started wanging on about when she was (allegedly) in foster care. Her dad was really wealthy but when she went to live with the foster family they were really poor, there was egg and chips for dinner. They'd run out of loo roll or shower gel, and there was no money to go and get more. But it didn't matter because they had each other, and now her foster sister has a business despite being at rock bottom (wonder if you got permission to share her story Rachey, or did you just do as you normally do and store it away for content?).
- turns out Emily was in the centre already, so having to wait for her to get there was another lie
- more freebies for the launderette, still haven't told your huns about that lottery grant have you?
- Then she did a bit of secret filming while she went to pick up the keys. Lovely shot of your teeth there hun, you might want to use that if you leave your dentist a review.
- meanwhile, over on the Patreon Instagram, she's sharing other people's stories of abuse.
- someone asked where she got her glasses, seeing as they're fucking hideous they definitely need some specs!
- Oh no, she forgot to finish her parking AGAIN and ended up paying for almost 5 hours instead of 1. Easy to do when it's not money you've earned, I guess.
- what's for tea? Another cunting roast dinner
although they seem to have branched out from chicken and had pork for a change.
- Seb's in trouble at school, for saying to a teacher "I'm not Usain Bolt". Now who can we imagine coming out with something like that? Raq reckons she used to get hit with a ruler on the knuckles, because we all know that was common practice in the 80s and 90s.
- oooh a grid post about how much she loves Seb
- Rachey did a live over on her Patreon, and shared a clip from it of herself in her Halloween costume, looking like an explosion in a nylon factory
she better not nip out for a sneaky joint while she's wearing that as one stray spark and she'll be up like a roman candle
Joyce likes it though, although he's probably too pissed to even open his eyes.
- another grid post, this time with Lula.
- it's the weekend! And Betsy's sleeping off a hangover, ideal. Meanwhile Seb and Isaac are MIA, while Raq and PC Merlot took Lula, Edie and Wilberforce out for pizza in the park. Although Rachey was fighting with Lula over the pizza, and Edie and Wilby were nowhere to be seen. Then Wilbert was running alongside the road, yet again.
- Then Rancid and Joyce were off to meet Arsetrid and her fella, still not allowed round their gaff I see! Rachey shared a screenshot of her call list showing a load of missed calls with the caption "I'm going out for dinner at 4pm so don't call unless it's an emergency". But she didn't answer, so it might have been an emergency and she wouldn't know
and only yesterday she said she hopes Seb "never stops checking in". Unless you're out for a boozy meal with your fake mates eh! There was a video of the food, which included Arsetrid on her phone, obviously getting her footage for the 'gram as well. Raq obviously thought she was being clever by not including her glass in the little montage, but it looked like she was on the fizzy cat's piss yet again. Simon apparently went home early after "too much red wine", too much Rancid and her incessant snorting more like.
- the Lincoln-Shaws have been to visit Emily but haven't mentioned Racquet, have they fallen out
- Ratchet apparently didn't know that Lula had 5 mates staying over. Were they so pissed when they got home that they didn't notice? Or were they so late back after role playing a one night stand in the woods that all the kids were asleep? Edie, Betsy and Seb all had one friend, making 13 children in all that were supervised by Stabby Jo, who was also on the red wine. More footage of Seb half dressed
- Raq and PC Pigeon Legs took Seb to football, which nobody can ever remember them doing before! Rancho was wearing the
coat that she apparently melted in the tumble dryer months ago
- Raq filmed the football, excellent safeguarding there, seeing as there was other children, and she won't have got permission to film and share
- the Patreon obviously isn't going as well as hoped, as she's had to share a video from it on her normal, not paid for Instagram to try and entice people to join. It consisted of the story of Joyce getting his phone stolen in London, and Raq saying it wasn't theft because it was in front of his face. Josh the police officer told her the legal definition of theft (despite slurring his words due to being pissed) which she still argued with.
- a bit low on content, Raq treated us all to a video from 4 weeks ago, with Betsy and Lula bickering.
- she's filming again with village idiot Jordan, with his smug smarmy face. Probably another vanity project where they can pat each other on the back for being So Kind
- BREAKING NEWS! Rancho is ON THE BLOB! That's right folks, she's got her Aunt Flo visiting, and she wants everyone to know about it!
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