Prostitution - right or wrong?

[MrsBsDayOff]

I haven't seen a thread on this before so thought it would be interesting to see people's views on whether prostitution should be legal or illegal, what model should be adopted, what do you think of men or women who use prostitutes, have you or would you use one, have you been one and what was your experience, etcetera.

Map and description here of the legal situation across Europe and UK.

Legalization seems the most sensible approach to me as they do in Germany, but I haven't researched what the possible ill effects of that are compared with prohibition or the other options.

 

[thegirlscout]

It’s Godawful and shouldn’t be legalised. I am in full sympathy of the women who are forced into this trade, the men buying sex are horrendous. Germany has many issues with prostitution being legal, I follow a lady on Twitter from Germany who campaigns against the sex trade and she had a really good thread on the problems there - let me see if I can find it. She says that according to the German family ministry ‘1 in 5 prostituted women sustains intermediate to heavy physical injury in connection with prostitution’. (Edited to add this is the thread about Germany and includes statistics etc )
But the amount of damage prostitution does to women both physically and mentally is disgusting. Women get chronic joint, back, jaw and wrist pain, are at disproportionate risk of bruises contusions, wounds, head & facial injuries, pulled muscles, fractures, internal injuries, miscarriages. There are negative effects on teeth, mouth and jawbone - chipped teeth, broken jawbones, ligament damage and wear and women are at increased risk of cervical cancer, infertility as well as urine and stool incontinence which I didn’t realise but then I thought of course!
The amount of stress and damage the body is put through, I don’t see why any sane person would want it legalised.
I think this is an interesting topic, we are in a very sex positive movement at the moment and would be great to hear what others say.

 

[Gossgirl12]

My view is that I don't think it should be legalised.
I feel sad for people who feel the need to go out and do this. Normalising paying for sex says to me that men feel because they've paid for it, they can abuse and have access to a womans body as they wish. Many people who turn to this are vulnerable. I'm not saying all as there are many people who go in to this type of thing at their own free will. Legalising it makes it look like it's normal to be a prostitute, it isn't. The reality is that prostitution is a violent and criminal industry that is usually tied to pimps, drugs and dangerous people.

 

[Piff paff puff]

I'm pro. (not a pro!)
There are as many different kind of men that partake as you'd see anywhere else and often those you think the least likely to.
It will always be frowned on due to it being connected with drugs and poverty but that is only a section. I'd like to see it accepted more in society as I think it can be a viable career option if you're mentally healthy.
I've never seen those entertainer documentaries that have been televised over the years but I know of them and as with any other tv programme It's designed to entertain and do that by being very biased and provoking negative responses.

 

[Sibz]

I feel that it's been glamourised by films and TV where prostitutes are very attractive and empowered, and the men (or women, but lets face it, mostly men) who visit are very rich and confident alphas. In reality I suspect the opposite is true. There may be some prostitutes that are treated with dignity by a sugar daddy who they enjoy working for and who takes care of them financially, but most will have to see clients they don't particularly like and do incredibly degrading things for them. And these clients I suspect are abusive unattractive and insecure men who have failed at convential relationships. A secure attractive person always has people throwing themselves at them for free, they have no need to pay for sex.

Abolitionism seems best to me, it means the prostitute isn't criminalised for doing what they feel they need to or have been forced to, but the people who abuse them are.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I'm pro. (not a pro!)
There are as many different kind of men that partake as you'd see anywhere else and often those you think the least likely to.
It will always be frowned on due to it being connected with drugs and poverty but that is only a section. I'd like to see it accepted more in society as I think it can be a viable career option if you're mentally healthy.
I've never seen those entertainer documentaries that have been televised over the years but I know of them and as with any other tv programme It's designed to entertain and do that by being very biased and provoking negative responses.

Chatting to my partner and he believes that most men use prostitutes at some stage of their lives (he reckons 80 percent but that sounds high?). I haven't seen any survey results on this but will have a look. I do know of a male friend who used a prostitute in Holland many years ago and I was quite surprised (I didn't think he was the type) but my partner seems to think it's a rite of passage for most men and that I'm naive to think otherwise.

 

[Mysteryy]

I don't think it should be legalised in the sense that forced sex work, sex trade and sexual abuse and violence against women shouldn't but normalised. However, I do think that there should be more focus and support given to those involved in sex work to protect their health and wellbeing as much as possible, without the stigma attached.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

It’s Godawful and shouldn’t be legalised. I am in full sympathy of the women who are forced into this trade, the men buying sex are horrendous. Germany has many issues with prostitution being legal, I follow a lady on Twitter from Germany who campaigns against the sex trade and she had a really good thread on the problems there - let me see if I can find it. She says that according to the German family ministry ‘1 in 5 prostituted women sustains intermediate to heavy physical injury in connection with prostitution’. (Edited to add this is the thread about Germany and includes statistics etc )
But the amount of damage prostitution does to women both physically and mentally is disgusting. Women get chronic joint, back, jaw and wrist pain, are at disproportionate risk of bruises contusions, wounds, head & facial injuries, pulled muscles, fractures, internal injuries, miscarriages. There are negative effects on teeth, mouth and jawbone - chipped teeth, broken jawbones, ligament damage and wear and women are at increased risk of cervical cancer, infertility as well as urine and stool incontinence which I didn’t realise but then I thought of course!
The amount of stress and damage the body is put through, I don’t see why any sane person would want it legalised.
I think this is an interesting topic, we are in a very sex positive movement at the moment and would be great to hear what others say.

Really interesting food for thought.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I don't think it should be legalised OR decriminalised, and I oppose it for many reasons. I think a big issue for me is the idea that we need to protect the sex industry for the sake of poor and desperate people who rely on it to survive. To paraphrase Rachel Moran who is a former prostitute and campaigns against the sex industry: "When someone is starving, the humane thing to put in their mouth is food, not your fool." We don't suggest that (for instance) sweatshops must be kept open because otherwise the people working in them will starve - so why is it OK to do this with prostitution?

 

[TheScarletgirl]

Not against it as long as the working man/woman is happy with the job .

I remember the documentary on the English brothel which was interesting on the lives of the ladies. A very British brothel it was called.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

Not against it as long as the working man/woman is happy with the job .

I remember the documentary on the English brothel which was interesting on the lives of the ladies. A very British brothel it was called.

I remember this documentary, I was cynical at the start but I ended up quite liking the owners and the workers and thinking it seemed harmless enough. I particularly remember an old guy in his 80s coming in for his regular "appointment" and thinking I had no problem with that. I realise it's only one sanitised sample of prostitution for TV, it also didn't go into a huge amount of detail about why the women working there resorted to prostitution and whether any of them wanted to leave prostitution but felt trapped due to lack of other options.

One thing that isn't mentioned so often is what it does to families. In many countries, the majority of men will secretly buy sex semi-regularly. The average punter cross-culturally, is married. We all discuss the many reasons why prostitution is awful for the women involved and how regulating it sounds good (but imo does not work, agree read up about German brothels) but I have, if you like, self-interest too. It's bad for the rest of us women, for our family stability, bad for the community. I would certainly never wish to live near a brothel, esp with children.

As for German brothels, I seem to remember reading the women need to have sex with 2-3 men a day to cover costs (room, owner). How on earth is that ethical, pro choice or whatever buzzword? They say legalisation empowers them, they can turn down men, but they MUST have sex with a few a day to break even?

I would also dislike living beside a brothel, not so much because of the women but because of the clients it might draw, could be unsavoury people in my area. And a lot of prostitutes are doing it to raise drug money I think so wouldn't like discarded drug paraphernalia on my street. If it was in a busy nightlife area of my city with a police presence maybe I would feel ok with that

 

[Warpaint]

From the documentaries I've seen they always start with the women coming across as head-strong, independent, liberal with a free spirited 'I'm in control' attitude. Then as the documentary progresses and things chip away there's always a darker or more tragic reason why they got into it. One quote that always stuck with me was when one woman said "Sexual abuse is the boot camp for prostitution" which makes it all the more sad.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I would also dislike living beside a brothel, not so much because of the women but because of the clients it might draw, could be unsavoury people in my area. And a lot of prostitutes are doing it to raise drug money I think so wouldn't like discarded drug paraphernalia on my street. If it was in a busy nightlife area of my city with a police presence maybe I would feel ok with that

That's a large part of why the Holbeck "managed zone" closed. Local residents opposed it because it led to an increase in antisocial behaviour, littering of syringes and condoms, sexual activity going on in places where children might see, etc. IIRC there were at least two reported rapes where the perpetrator claimed in his defence that he'd believed the victim was a prostitute. It was supposed to not be too close to residential areas but in practice they could not keep it within the designated "zone" which made the problem worse

 

[Sheabutter]

Where I live prostitution is not legal and so men get away with not paying prostitutes. For that reason, I think it should be legalized and simultaneously heavily regulated to ensure prostitutes safety.