Private Therapy

[StrawberryBanana90]

Never created a thread on here so hopefully it works!

Lately I have found myself somewhat disillusioned with life. I'm underpaid at my job, tried to change jobs but keep getting rejections and frankly I have no idea what I want to do! Everyone around me has some vague idea or career path but honestly I don't want to do anything. Motivation for hobbies and fun is at an all time low and I just feel MEH with no direction.

I've looked on the BACP website but it's so overwhelming, how do you pick a private therapist/counsellor? I have a budget and some do offer free initial consultations but I feel so silly because I can't describe what I actually want from therapy or how to eloquently describe what's wrong with me. I just know I should probably make this first step and stop bottling things up.

Anyone had any experience with private therapy in the UK and can offer some tips?

 

[OatMatchaLatte]

Hi! Firstly, well done for taking the first step, which is often the most difficult.

I've been having private therapy for two years now. I got very lucky with my therapist. I wanted to do mine remotely, so that was my first criteria. I also has some specific issues I wanted to discuss, so I narrowed down based on those with experience in those broad fields. Then I looked at price.

I filled in a brief form just outlining what I wanted to discuss. Honestly, I knew in the first session that the therapist was right for me. I was a blubbering mess, and she was very kind. But that's not always the case. My sister started seeing one, and they didn't gel so she changed. Don't be afraid to swap if you don't feel comfortable talking to them.

I have never been one to discuss my problems or issues with anyone, so therapy was a huge step for me.

I didn't really launch off into some of the deep stuff for a little while. In fact, it was a good six months until I felt comfortable talking about some things, and even longer others. But that's ok. Some sessions it's really easy and conversation just flows. Other sessions I find difficult, because I'm not really in the mood to talk, or I don't have anything specific I want to talk about, whatever.

Therapy has given me a different take on things, and it has helped me to understand a lot about myself, but it's not a magic bullet, and it's unlikely to be a linear journey. It doesn't stop me feeling down some days, but it does help me to acknowledge that I'm feeling down, understand why I'm feeling down, and know that it's ok to feel down sometimes, if that makes sense? It has also helped me to deal with specific issues, and discussing them with a neutral third party is invaluable. It took me a while to realise that my therapist wasn't there to offer specific advice on certain situations, rather to suggest coping mechanisms, reframe my thinking, or just to be there for me to get it off my chest.

Yes, we may be able to discuss certain things with our friends / partners etc, but they will always have a bias.

I feel very fortunate to be in a position to be able to afford therapy, and I feel like it has made a huge difference to my life. I would recommend it to anyone.

 

[shadowcat5]

I have been seeing one for a few years now off and on and I have found it helpful. I like being able to pick up and drop off as I see fit.

maybe make a list of what you want to talk about and look for one based on that. I went with someone who specialised in what I was going through but tbf they are pretty well versed in everything if you get a good one.
don’t be afraid to try different ones too

 

[StrawberryBanana90]

Thank you both! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

I will sit down and write notes in a notepad to get my thoughts in some kind of order! I might reach out to a few via email etc. just to dip my toes in and see what people say.

 

[Snippysnips]

I work at a therapy place an have also had both counselling and CBT, the most important thing is not to hold back, note down everything no matter how difficult or emotional it may be then read it back to yourself, this will help with what kind of therapy you are looking for

Counselling will help if you need someone more to talk to an deal with feelings an have a listening ear

CBT is more action, you set goals an break them down into manageable steps to get to those goals, it's less talking through emotions an more setting realistic standards for yourself

Hypnotherapy is more putting you into a state of relaxation (not sleep) to influence the subconscious state

Once you know then it will help with choosing, but remember it's important to find someone that you feel comfortable with, never just settle for someone that you feel you aren't able to open up too or you feel they just "aren't right" not every therapist will work out for you an if they aren't working you won't get results so don't feel bad if one didn't work, I didn't get on with my counsellor an it held me back as well as it just wasn't for me, my CBT therapist was so much more better an not only could I open up but I could see myself getting results from it