Pregnancy

Heybooboo · Dec 10, 2020

MrsJones83 said:
Also, although being in hospital can sound a bit daunting if you have to stay in, appreciate the time to put your feet up and just be with your baby. As soon as you’re home again, it’s so easy to get caught up with all the household stuff again.

Yes to this! I was desperate to get home and ended up re admitted a day later but it was the best thing to happen to us! The first day we had visitors from 9am-11pm constantly the only time I held my son was to feed him. Going back into hospital just me and him for 3 nights was amazing, also I learnt so much too. I wasn’t able to baby classes as he was born too early so I didn’t know anything but going back in the midwives taught me how to pump, sterilise, how long milks last etc all silly things but things I didn’t know. When I left the second time I felt so much more prepared and in control

Gem2212 · Dec 10, 2020

Definitelyme said:
Will be keeping a eye out for your update tomorrow. I hope it all goes well.

Only my 12 and 20, no others. Some trusts are allowing and some aren’t so best to check with yours.

jazyblu said:
I just hit 9 weeks yesterday! I had my booking appointment today and it started to feel real a bit, counting down to my scan which is arranged for the 6th of Jan. Temped to do a private scan before then because I'm just too impatient.

I'm hoping my sickness is starting to wane. It was really bad for 3 weeks but the last 5 days have been okay. Discovered at my booking appointment I have lost 6lbs in the last 3 weeks from the nausea. I'm quite petite so I don't want to lose any more than this. Fingers crossed I'm out of the woods.

Have you all been able to bring your partners to the scans?

I’ve had 2 scans with early pregnancy and my 12 week scan and my husband was allowed to both he’s also allowed to 20 week scan but have been told he won’t be allowed in if we need any more after that x

NP · Dec 10, 2020

Hello I’m 26 weeks with baby number 3. Having the worst acid reflux at the moment and eating Rennie’s like sweets. Other than that I’ve been very lucky this time. Completely skipped the sickness and nausea although I felt like I spent the first trimester asleep. Having an elective c-sec in March. This will be my third c-section (first was an emergency) so I’m feeling very relaxed and positive about it.

Further up, someone asked about partners at scans. My trust is allowing partners at the 12 & 20 week scans only. The rules changed after my 12 week scan so my other half has only been to the 20 week one which was really rushed but at least he got to come to something!

WhatABore · Dec 10, 2020

I am 25 weeks with baby number 3. I have a 2 and a half year old and a 5 year old. Only symptom I've ever had during pregnancy is sore boobs and tiredness. Never even felt the slightest bit nauseous

I tore quite bad with my first and took around 6 weeks to be able to sit without it hurting.
This is something I was confused about because everyone I know who has had stitches has said it took a week or so. My friend even said she was up and shopping the next day. Then there was me unable to stand or sit!
After my second, I soon realised rather than being down to the stitches, it was actually down to the bruising and damage to the muscles. I had the same tear but there was little bruising. And I was pretty much painless the week after!

Now praying this one is the same as the second however, I have been told there's a chance I'll need a csection due to low lying placenta!

littlepup · Dec 11, 2020

Almost 32 weeks with my first here. I came across these Videos on YouTube today, 1/2 way through the second but I’ve found them helpful so far. I’m the kind of person that likes to understand the mechanics of things and this lady explains things well it seems. She actually explains that some labours can be so quick due to the shape of the pelvis.

As I say, my first so I’m no expert but I’ve read many times a portable bidet, or pretty much a squeezey bottle with a spout on it is amazing for post birth wees so you can spray the water over your bits while you wee to dilute it and use cool or warm water for relief when needed.

I had no idea about the extended bleeding after, all the crap that’s got to come out. I guess I had in mind that the placenta was attached inside in a similar way to the umbilical cord to the baby but no, apparently it leaves a dinner plate size open wound in your uterus hence such a long bleed time!!? I feel so dense about so much, even general biology, but you just don’t find out until you have reason to I guess.

The weirdest symptoms I have are nose bleeds and really dry, cracked feet which I’ve never had before. All common when you google it but no one tells you these things. The PGP, rib flare, bleeding gums, lightening crotch, swollen bits. I’m sure there’s some kind of conspiracy not to let on about these things so as not to put people off not to mention my boobs being unrecognisable already

Upintheair83 · Dec 11, 2020

I’m 10 weeks- First ever pregnancy-completely clueless! I’m 37 and have a slight heart problem
Iv seen the midwife but I was in such a state of shock that half of the things she said feels like a blur.
She gave me a password to access my pregnancy notes but I have no idea how to access them. She left 3 phone numbers but I can’t ring them until I’m 16 weeks!
I’m having my scan on the 23rd which is causing me anxiety as it’s so close to Christmas and I’m already prepared for the worst.
I’m extra anxious because Iv had to come off some tablets for my heart (my gp advised this) but Iv been feeling awful without them- high pulse, palpitations, out of breath, high blood pressure.And I’m still waiting to be referred to my cardiologist. The midwife said to expect a letter that week- but it’s been 3 weeks now.
I have no idea about what happens during the birth- ie- who is around you. I always naively assumed It was the midwife that was assigned to you but after reading a little about pregnancy that doesn’t seem the case. I’m totally blind in this!

The midwife was lovely but she said she’s leaving in March after 45 years and that upsets me because I feel il have to bond with someone else which is already making me panic.
I had a letter to see the obstetrician in January but I have no idea what that is for! And my mum keeps offering to pay private to see one of my choice but I have no clue on how to go about this. Has anyone any knowledge of this?
I’m so so clueless and really I have no idea how any of this goes. After watching the news about the maternity services yday I was in a sort of daze, just feeling really scared and anxious about the whole pregnancy and i just feel so overwhelmed: there seems to be so much to the whole process.
I feel stupid admitting how absolutely clueless I am on all of this but I guess if I speak up then maybe other people will admit they felt this way and I would feel less of an idiot.
But I feel really scared and alone in it all because there doesn’t seem to be any sort of contact with anyone until I’m 16 weeks and I suppose it feels a long and lonely road when you don’t know what to expect.
Sorry for offloading- I really am so happy I’m pregnant but I never ever thought I’d feel so scared about it.

Thanks for starting this thread xx

LittleMy · Dec 11, 2020

Upintheair83 said:
I’m 10 weeks- First ever pregnancy-completely clueless! I’m 37 and have a slight heart problem
Iv seen the midwife but I was in such a state of shock that half of the things she said feels like a blur.
She gave me a password to access my pregnancy notes but I have no idea how to access them. She left 3 phone numbers but I can’t ring them until I’m 16 weeks!
I’m having my scan on the 23rd which is causing me anxiety as it’s so close to Christmas and I’m already prepared for the worst.
I’m extra anxious because Iv had to come off some tablets for my heart (my gp advised this) but Iv been feeling awful without them- high pulse, palpitations, out of breath, high blood pressure.And I’m still waiting to be referred to my cardiologist. The midwife said to expect a letter that week- but it’s been 3 weeks now.
I have no idea about what happens during the birth- ie- who is around you. I always naively assumed It was the midwife that was assigned to you but after reading a little about pregnancy that doesn’t seem the case. I’m totally blind in this!
The midwife was lovely but she said she’s leaving in March after 45 years and that upsets me because I feel il have to bond with someone else which is already making me panic.
I had a letter to see the obstetrician in January but I have no idea what that is for! And my mum keeps offering to pay private to see one of my choice but I have no clue on how to go about this. Has anyone any knowledge of this?
I’m so so clueless and really I have no idea how any of this goes. After watching the news about the maternity services yday I was in a sort of daze, just feeling really scared and anxious about the whole pregnancy and i just feel so overwhelmed: there seems to be so much to the whole process.
I feel stupid admitting how absolutely clueless I am on all of this but I guess if I speak up then maybe other people will admit they felt this way and I would feel less of an idiot.
But I feel really scared and alone in it all because there doesn’t seem to be any sort of contact with anyone until I’m 16 weeks and I suppose it feels a long and lonely road when you don’t know what to expect.
Sorry for offloading- I really am so happy I’m pregnant but I never ever thought I’d feel so scared about it.

Thanks for starting this thread xx

I think everyone feels that way the first time. I was shocked at the initial gaps between antenatal appointments. Once you enter the later stages, you tend to be in a lot more regularly for checks. For me, it didn’t even feel real until the 20 week scan, and a couple of weeks after when I could feel the baby moving. The second time around, everything seemed to happen much quicker, and my bump seemed to appear overnight once I took the test.

Just think though, you’re experiencing pregnancy during a pandemic, outwith ordinary circumstances. You’re bound to be extra anxious. I can’t advise on the medical notes side as mine were always a physical booklet and not electronic. Is the obstetrician appointment perhaps in relation to your heart condition? It may mean that you’re considered high risk (don’t worry, I was considered high risk second time around and saw an obstetrician as well as midwife) and they may just want to keep a closer eye on you in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. I’m sure you’ll be just fine. I hope all goes well and you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Upintheair83 · Dec 11, 2020

Buzzbee said:
I think everyone feels that way the first time. I was shocked at the initial gaps between antenatal appointments. Once you enter the later stages, you tend to be in a lot more regularly for checks. For me, it didn’t even feel real until the 20 week scan, and a couple of weeks after when I could feel the baby moving. The second time around, everything seemed to happen much quicker, and my bump seemed to appear overnight once I took the test.

Just think though, you’re experiencing pregnancy during a pandemic, outwith ordinary circumstances. You’re bound to be extra anxious. I can’t advise on the medical notes side as mine were always a physical booklet and not electronic. Is the obstetrician appointment perhaps in relation to your heart condition? It may mean that you’re considered high risk (don’t worry, I was considered high risk second time around and saw an obstetrician as well as midwife) and they may just want to keep a closer eye on you in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. I’m sure you’ll be just fine. I hope all goes well and you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Thanks so much @Buzzbee Just someone saying it’s ok to feel that way, I was the same- does help to alleviate some of my anxiety. I almost felt like less of a woman that I was feeling this way and how absolutely clueless I am.
So just your words of advice has already made me feel less alone and less stupid.
Xxx thanks so much xxx

LittleMy · Dec 11, 2020

Upintheair83 said:
Thanks so much @Buzzbee Just someone saying it’s ok to feel that way, I was the same- does help to alleviate some of my anxiety. I almost felt like less of a woman that I was feeling this way and how absolutely clueless I am.
So just your words of advice has already made me feel less alone and less stupid.
Xxx thanks so much xxx

No problem! You’re not stupid, not at all. Nobody tells you about all this stuff beforehand. Just think of all the things you’ve yet to experience, like hearing baby’s heartbeat at later checks and feeling their kicks and movements - it’s honestly the most beautiful, surreal feeling in the world. Seeing them for the first time too; I remember being so shocked to see my baby bouncing around on the ultrasound because I’d convinced myself I’d made the whole thing up and there would be no baby, despite taking about 8 tests all positive. You’ve got this

BettyCrocker · Dec 11, 2020

Chickenandgravy said:
For those of you that have already had a baby....what's the one thing you wish you had been told the first time around?

I'm terrified of labour so I've got the feeling I might regret asking this

It’s not as bad as you imagine. I was also surprised by the location of the pain - mine was all in my bum - felt like someone was trying to push a bowling ball up my bum hole!!!!!

Tui · Dec 11, 2020

I’m 26 weeks, second pregnancy but will be my first child after a loss this year. First trimester was hard as so exhausted and nauseous plus so anxious for the pregnancy. Second trimester has luckily been pretty uneventful apart from being a bit out of puff. So jealous of women who keep exercising til the end, I’m not the fittest anyway but wasn’t too bad but literally by 6 weeks was breathless on minimal exertion and now my legs feel dead whenever I have to climb some stairs so bit concerned third trimester is going to be pretty exhausting again.

For those who feel a bit clueless and worried, I read the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill which was a really nice summary of all birth types and how to view them positively and not be scared. I’m also doing the Positive Birth Company digital pack which teaches you hypnobirthing techniques to feel in control of labour as I’m a control freak doctor who has never been admitted to hospital before

I’m now reading the Positive Breastfeeding Book as that’s the thing I’m finding most daunting, if it’s not easy peasy it sounds like it can get very complicated with pumping, combi feeding etc etc!

BettyCrocker · Dec 11, 2020

Tui said:
I’m 26 weeks, second pregnancy but will be my first child after a loss this year. First trimester was hard as so exhausted and nauseous plus so anxious for the pregnancy. Second trimester has luckily been pretty uneventful apart from being a bit out of puff. So jealous of women who keep exercising til the end, I’m not the fittest anyway but wasn’t too bad but literally by 6 weeks was breathless on minimal exertion and now my legs feel dead whenever I have to climb some stairs so bit concerned third trimester is going to be pretty exhausting again.

For those who feel a bit clueless and worried, I read the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill which was a really nice summary of all birth types and how to view them positively and not be scared. I’m also doing the Positive Birth Company digital pack which teaches you hypnobirthing techniques to feel in control of labour as I’m a control freak doctor who has never been admitted to hospital before

I’m now reading the Positive Breastfeeding Book as that’s the thing I’m finding most daunting, if it’s not easy peasy it sounds like it can get very complicated with pumping, combi feeding etc etc!

dont feel daunted by breast feeding. Try it - if you get on ok with it, that’s great but if it’s just not working and it’s causing any hassle or stress then just go to formula. As long as your baby is fed that is the only thing that matters.

Whaaaaat · Dec 11, 2020

Chickenandgravy said:
For those of you that have already had a baby....what's the one thing you wish you had been told the first time around?

I'm terrified of labour so I've got the feeling I might regret asking this

This sums up my experience

SunshineDreamer · Dec 11, 2020

Upintheair83 said:
I’m 10 weeks- First ever pregnancy-completely clueless! I’m 37 and have a slight heart problem
Iv seen the midwife but I was in such a state of shock that half of the things she said feels like a blur.
She gave me a password to access my pregnancy notes but I have no idea how to access them. She left 3 phone numbers but I can’t ring them until I’m 16 weeks!
I’m having my scan on the 23rd which is causing me anxiety as it’s so close to Christmas and I’m already prepared for the worst.
I’m extra anxious because Iv had to come off some tablets for my heart (my gp advised this) but Iv been feeling awful without them- high pulse, palpitations, out of breath, high blood pressure.And I’m still waiting to be referred to my cardiologist. The midwife said to expect a letter that week- but it’s been 3 weeks now.
I have no idea about what happens during the birth- ie- who is around you. I always naively assumed It was the midwife that was assigned to you but after reading a little about pregnancy that doesn’t seem the case. I’m totally blind in this!
The midwife was lovely but she said she’s leaving in March after 45 years and that upsets me because I feel il have to bond with someone else which is already making me panic.
I had a letter to see the obstetrician in January but I have no idea what that is for! And my mum keeps offering to pay private to see one of my choice but I have no clue on how to go about this. Has anyone any knowledge of this?
I’m so so clueless and really I have no idea how any of this goes. After watching the news about the maternity services yday I was in a sort of daze, just feeling really scared and anxious about the whole pregnancy and i just feel so overwhelmed: there seems to be so much to the whole process.
I feel stupid admitting how absolutely clueless I am on all of this but I guess if I speak up then maybe other people will admit they felt this way and I would feel less of an idiot.
But I feel really scared and alone in it all because there doesn’t seem to be any sort of contact with anyone until I’m 16 weeks and I suppose it feels a long and lonely road when you don’t know what to expect.
Sorry for offloading- I really am so happy I’m pregnant but I never ever thought I’d feel so scared about it.

Thanks for starting this thread xx

First of all, congratulations! The feeling of cluelessness - I honestly think that is an extra symptom of pregnancy. When I went for my first ultrasound in my first pregnancy they found 2 heartbeats and after that, I couldn’t remember a word of what happened! I came out and asked my husband and he was as dumbstruck as me....and he’s a doctor!

As for private, we went private for both of our pregnancies and it was incredibly simple. Do you know if you have any private hospitals with birth suites attached? They normally offer a tour and we went and toured a few before we settled on the Lindo wing. What I would say is choose a hospital that has a neonatal facility, just in case - chances are you won’t need it but it takes a lot of worry off. I have to say, I don’t think I could ever go NHS, and that is not a dig At the NHS as there are some wonderful hospitals but I found a lot of comfort in always seeing the same consultant/midwife and knowing who would be involved on the day. I’d suggest looking athttps://www.iwantgreatcare.org just to see reviews etc. The only other thing I would say about a private birth is factor in the highest cost. Factor in the caesarean and epidural etc. We had consultant led normal delivery and with scans and everything we paid around £20000, obviously it’s going to depend on location etc but go to the higher end so there’s no surprises!

LittleMy · Dec 11, 2020

Whaaaaat said:
This sums up my experience

View attachment 342641

Mine too!

Definitelyme · Dec 11, 2020

For any mums hoping to breastfeed for the first time, I would say arm yourself with lots of information. I’ve breastfed 3 kids for 2+ years each and I will still read up this time to remind me. Things to look out for especially are:

•Good latching position for newborn and what to do if it’s not good
•Normal baby behaviour for a breastfed baby (eg feeding frequently and for long periods)
•Where to go for help (breastfeeding group, lactation consultant)
•And please remember not many midwives are up to date on breastfeeding and don’t have the specialist training needed to help if you have major problems, sadly. It’s one of the reasons the UKs bf rate is so poor.

And for all FTM I would suggest reading up about the fourth trimester, again a bit about normal baby behaviour. So often babies are expected to feed them sleep and be put dow alone when the reality is that’s totally alien to them and many won’t want to!

Upintheair83 · Dec 11, 2020

SunshineDreamer said:
First of all, congratulations! The feeling of cluelessness - I honestly think that is an extra symptom of pregnancy. When I went for my first ultrasound in my first pregnancy they found 2 heartbeats and after that, I couldn’t remember a word of what happened! I came out and asked my husband and he was as dumbstruck as me....and he’s a doctor!

As for private, we went private for both of our pregnancies and it was incredibly simple. Do you know if you have any private hospitals with birth suites attached? They normally offer a tour and we went and toured a few before we settled on the Lindo wing. What I would say is choose a hospital that has a neonatal facility, just in case - chances are you won’t need it but it takes a lot of worry off. I have to say, I don’t think I could ever go NHS, and that is not a dig At the NHS as there are some wonderful hospitals but I found a lot of comfort in always seeing the same consultant/midwife and knowing who would be involved on the day. I’d suggest looking athttps://www.iwantgreatcare.org just to see reviews etc. The only other thing I would say about a private birth is factor in the highest cost. Factor in the caesarean and epidural etc. We had consultant led normal delivery and with scans and everything we paid around £20000, obviously it’s going to depend on location etc but go to the higher end so there’s no surprises!

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I felt so silly walking out of my appointment and when my partner asked me what she said I was like It was all background noise because I was still in shock.
As for private, I don’t mind either way, I’m totally happy going NHS but my mum seems insistent on at least paying private for an obstetrician - I think she’s worried about my own health problems, my age and stuff. But I don’t even know if it’s possible. I don’t think any hospitals near me have a maternity ward but il have to try and look into it more!
As I say I have no idea what at all is going on! I have no idea what to expect and I have no clue about any of the process. I think because I thought I could never have children I sort of closed my mind off to it all. I didn’t want to know. So I’m totally oblivious to what happens as soon as you go into labour- ie- who is allowed in with you, who is present for the birth, if you see the midwife or just random nurses who are on duty that night. I sound so naive but I really have no idea. Someone posted on another thread the Covid condensed appointments and that was mega helpful for me! As I didn’t even know you had a 20 week scan!!

heaven help me! Lol xx

LittleMy · Dec 11, 2020

Definitelyme said:
For any mums hoping to breastfeed for the first time, I would say arm yourself with lots of information. I’ve breastfed 3 kids for 2+ years each and I will still read up this time to remind me. Things to look out for especially are:

•Good latching position for newborn and what to do if it’s not good
•Normal baby behaviour for a breastfed baby (eg feeding frequently and for long periods)
•Where to go for help (breastfeeding group, lactation consultant)
•And please remember not many midwives are up to date on breastfeeding and don’t have the specialist training needed to help if you have major problems, sadly. It’s one of the reasons the UKs bf rate is so poor.

And for all FTM I would suggest reading up about the fourth trimester, again a bit about normal baby behaviour. So often babies are expected to feed them sleep and be put dow alone when the reality is that’s totally alien to them and many won’t want to!

I agree about the fourth trimester. It was a bit of a shock to the system for me when I had my firstborn. I had an emergency cesarean and then spent a week in hospital afterwards with a newborn expected to do everything by myself. The hormone crash around day 3 made me bawl my eyes out, I was so low and missing the support of my OH. Definitely don’t have too many expectations for how the birth will be - birth plans are a good guide to let your choices be known but be open to anything happening on the day(s).

Al26 · Dec 11, 2020

I'm 7 weeks with my first after trying for 4 and a half years!!
Incredibly anxious but have an early scan booked for Sunday.
I'm also high BMi so am worried about that aspect as well

noobie123 · Dec 11, 2020

Stimpii said:
I’m currently 35+1 with my 3rd

Local birth centre is shut and won’t be reopening before I’d need it

Urgh same situation here!!! 33 weeks with my third... and our birthing centre is shut too, getting myself all anxious thinking about the “level of care” I’ll get going to the main maternity (over run, heaving) ward

Stimpii said:
I’ve never been aware of my waters going. I always thought it would like on tv/movies where it’s gushing out.

My waters didn’t break until my daughters head was virtually OUT definitely not like the films hey? I didn’t even think that was possible!

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