If you feel that pressured tell them all to bring a piece of food each Christmas should not make you feel like that.Not this year. I just feel pressure. Pressure to have the family round all day and cook, clean and smile while they all get Merry in the front room. Unaware of me breaking down in the kitchen
I’m a parent and if it wasn’t for the kids I wouldn’t bother. Used to love it, but as I’ve gotten older I can now understand why my older relatives used to moan about it. It’s lost most of its meaning. People getting into debt for one day, parents trying to keep up with each other over how many Christmas events/activities they can take their kids to in the build up (events which are so expensive). All the stupid fads/trends like Christmas Eve boxes, Twat on the Shelf, matching festive pyjamas. It’s sickening. Winter itself is a hard time for a lot of people anyway. I always get a bad case of SAD, it feels never-ending. It’s no sooner done and dusted then it’s December once more and so the whole rigmarole starts all over again.Now I'm nearing 30 I've experienced over a decade of Christmases as an adult, the same pressure to buy things, send cards, attend work team meals, see family over several days, buy too much food etc.
I have made a few changes this year:
- Limited who buying presents for so I can save money for my own needs
-Using brown paper and string to wrap presents - cheaper, lol. and less commercial
- Not sending cards, partially because I can't be bothered, partly because of the paper waste, and partly to save money. At least with a spotlight on consumerism and unnecessary waste, I can say "It's called being good for the environment" ahaha.
-Not stock piling so much food weeks in advance. I need to eat better anyway and soooo much money can get wasted on food that makes you feel bloated and sick. Instead, I'll buy some mincemeat and some pastry, make a few dozen mince pies and that's my lot. "Christmas" dinner will just be bog standard chicken, potatoes and vegetables.
Luckily at work my team has a deadline to meet (20th Dec) and noone can be bothered to decorate the office so in a way, work is a nice escape this year from the buildup. The only thing I've not managed to swerve is the department Christmas meal, because work is paying for us and shutting the office, and I don't want to use up a day's leave to avoid going in, lol. Call me Scrooge but I hate large-party meals. When you have food allergies and end up picking the only shitty menu choice, and you don't drink, it's hard to enjoy when everyone else is getting increasingly more merry lol.
Hubby and his family have never been big on Christmas so there's no real pressue on me to "perform Christmas" but let's face it, for many, Christmas is an expected performance, you gotta make it happen, for some that means eating beans for months (), for others it's spending time with people that threy don't get on with.
I do however like all the shitty telly and rom coms whilst eating a mince pie, having hot chocolate, and also I am grateful that working in education sector, means we get paid to be home for a week and a half (very grateful to have time off for Xmas and New Years).
There's absolutely no hate on anyone who loves Christmas as much as Zoella, if that's what makes you happy then that's amazing. I think what jades a lot of us is the 2 or 3 month build up, the escalating tendancy to spend pennies "because Christmas", mass consumption, and then the pressure to perform/provide.
Maybe my views will change if I become a parent, but for now, I'm happy to be low key, and spend with the few people in my life that matter most, whilst also having some much needed time off work, post crazy deadline! Is it just me or does December always have lots of crazy deadlines running at the same time as the build up to Xmas? I'm feeling so run down right now!
You should them to all chip in and help. Ugh. I hate that it always gets left to one person. You’re gracious enough to host for them, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind doing their bit.Not this year. I just feel pressure. Pressure to have the family round all day and cook, clean and smile while they all get Merry in the front room. Unaware of me breaking down in the kitchen
Yes. Could you do pot luck style where everyone takes something? Make a list of what you need, stuffing, yorkies, veggies, etc. xI’m a parent and if it wasn’t for the kids I wouldn’t bother. Used to love it, but as I’ve gotten older I can now understand why my older relatives used to moan about it. It’s lost most of its meaning. People getting into debt for one day, parents trying to keep up with each other over how many Christmas events/activities they can take their kids to in the build up (events which are so expensive). All the stupid fads/trends like Christmas Eve boxes, Twat on the Shelf, matching festive pyjamas. It’s sickening. Winter itself is a hard time for a lot of people anyway. I always get a bad case of SAD, it feels never-ending. It’s no sooner done and dusted then it’s December once more and so the whole rigmarole starts all over again.
I love my kids’ joy when they see their new toys, but they have autism. If we didn’t make a big song and dance of it every year, then they wouldn’t know any different.
You should them to all chip in and help. Ugh. I hate that it always gets left to one person. You’re gracious enough to host for them, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind doing their bit.
My best Christmases are the ones when we don’t have any visitors, stay in our pjs all day, eat good food, watch festive telly, sod the cleaning and let the kids play with their toys.
Have you read the book Love Languages or done the quiz? It is amazing. Have you told DH how it makes you feel? I wouldn't stand for that, lol. I would make a list and email it to him.I mean i don’t hate Christmas and it doesn’t make me sad. I’ve just never been that fussed about it.
As an adult I find it disappointing. I never get what I’ve asked for no matter how much or little it costs. DH just seems to show no drive to buy me a present. He only has to buy for me so he has no excuse.
So yeah as an adult it seems I make all the effort and no one gives a second thought to me. That might sound selfish and ungrateful but that’s how it makes me feel.
You should both do it, it can actually be really beneficial.No bubbletea I haven’t. I have sent lists and emails and links to items.
He said this evening ‘I thought you wanted UGG slippers?’ Uh since when. We’ve been married over 20 years and i’m the person who takes shoes and socks off ASAP when I get home as I can’t bare having hot feet.
I’m the same and tbh it’s really starting to get on my nervesNot this year. I just feel pressure. Pressure to have the family round all day and cook, clean and smile while they all get Merry in the front room. Unaware of me breaking down in the kitchen
So neither SO or I's families live in the same city so we have Christmas by ourselves, lol. After reading folks comments on here, it makes me happy how easy it is. I couldn't be bothered with the stress of hosting people.Phewwwww I thought it was only me who felt the pressure!!!! Money ... Food..... Family..... every year I’m the host and to be honest I’d rather get on a plane and sod off to somewhere hot... no one ever offers to cook.... no one contributes .... I’m left to organise the whole Shabam.... I’ve got grown up kids and a husband who thinks helping is peeling carrots !!!!! Yeppp !!!! More fool me...
I’m the same and tbh it’s really starting to get on my nerves
I’ll be happy when it’s all over ... I can then sit in me jarmers with prosecco and sleepSo neither SO or I's families live in the same city so we have Christmas by ourselves, lol. After reading folks comments on here, it makes me happy how easy it is. I couldn't be bothered with the stress of hosting people.
I’ve been with my partner 13 years and he has not bought me one single birthday card present or Christmas presentI mean i don’t hate Christmas and it doesn’t make me sad. I’ve just never been that fussed about it.
As an adult I find it disappointing. I never get what I’ve asked for no matter how much or little it costs. DH just seems to show no drive to buy me a present. He only has to buy for me so he has no excuse.
So yeah as an adult it seems I make all the effort and no one gives a second thought to me. That might sound selfish and ungrateful but that’s how it makes me feel.
WHAT? I must have gotten really lucky? Hahaha.I’ve been with my partner 13 years and he has not bought me one single birthday card present or Christmas presentnever nothing
SeriouslyWHAT? I must have gotten really lucky? Hahaha.
Ha, I was going to say something similar. i enjoy the sense of a shared experience, that when you’re at the shops on Christmas Eve everyone’s doing a similar thing, thinking a similar thing, have similar plans for the next few days, does that make sense? It’s a kind of nice communal feeling. And I like the daily grind stopping for this one time a year.For me there seems to be a kind of magic in the air, everyone seems to be a bit more cheerful, the food, the songs, the lights.... just slap my arse and call me Tinsel Tits.
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