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JellyWobbles

VIP Member
It’s ONE DAY!
Literally ONE. Consumerism pushes all these expectations and pressure on everyone to be grandeur, to be the perfect host with a feast, spectacular presents & oodles of alcohol! Really Christmas is how YOU want it. This is the first year I’ve dreaded Christmas, truly. I do not feel festive, I felt an anxiety ridden mess and it wasn’t until I had given myself a good talking to that I felt better.

If people don’t like how you do Christmas well f*ck em!
I’m not spending all day in the kitchen this year, I’m not getting dolled up, nor stressing that the presents I’ve gifted are good enough it’s like it or lump it. I really hope you can find peace with it like I have. Be selfish! And have a good one! Xx
 
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imaginedragon83

VIP Member
I am so so fed up with trying to make everyone else happy this Christmas and therefore dreading the day with the kids. There are only my two kids in our family and the other 12 adults are so selfish, they think the kids are there purely for them and their enjoyment.
Same. My in laws like to take over but we've put our foot down and will be spending Christmas how we want to, for our son. I'm not looking back in 20 years and regretting missing out on time with him to please others. we will see them but we wont be spending all our time with them.
 
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Dannie

Chatty Member
It’s really hard at Christmas. Christmas is all about family - even the dreaded in laws. This was always my thoughts so I would spend Christmas Day with a mother in law I detested. Then around 4 pm right on time every Christmas Day she’d be pissed and would start being passive aggressive and would start arguments, I put up with this year after year. I would forgive her after getting the sorry in jan and after her other crap she’s dish out throughout the year. However she made a fatal mistake three months ago - my children were visiting and she slagged me off for terribly in front of them and as their mother they were so upset and distraught when they got home. Fatal error as now she’s crossed a line and now I’ll never forgive and I’ll never forget. So the old woman is spending Xmas on her own. She’s fallen out with her other daughter in law - who unlike me is not a soft sod. She’s phoned hubby and said oh I bought this and I’ve bought that and I can’t wait to come and spend Xmas with you and my hubby had to inform her ....... No. I told hubby that I’ll never be in the same room with her again. He’s told her - she only has herself to blame. Hes gone to visit her for a hour to take presents ( I ain’t completely cruel) God help what he’s bought her as I usually do it. So I expect she’s most likely got the most hideous scarf this year instead of the lovely Ysl black opuim perfume and beautiful jo malone candles she’s had from us in the past. Screw her. I’m doing it - how I want it and with who makes me the happiest. Nothing is good enough in her eyes and at nearly 40 years of age I am now tired of it.
When you have toxic people in your life - they will always find something to judge you on and nothing will be good enough and life’s too short to spend it with shitty people. 2019 I’ve walked away from people and I now know 2020 is going to get a lot better You spend Christmas in the exact way that makes you happiest. I’m now signing off Tattle for the new few days. Happy Christmas to you all. Xxx
 
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Practically Perfect

Chatty Member
It's impossible. You will never please everyone. I followed my dad's rule. As i was adopted and they had waited almost 20 years for kids his rule was that Christmas Day was for me, my sister and my mum and dad and NO ONE ELSE. We would visit/have visiors from Boxing Day onwards and if we werent in -tough. He would allow the occasional neighbour in (his bessie from next door to partake in a whiskey in his shed)

My rule was the same other than if i actually wanted someone there. It is a stressful day enough so just enjoy it with who you want to share it with

Mr Practically Perfect found out to his cost, not to mess with me on Christmas Day as i am a stress head and when he was late returning from the pub for his christmas 'drink'(came in bladdered) i casually threw his requested Prawn Cocktail in his face and threw him out.

We still all chuckle remembering his little face squished on the widow with cocktail sauce dripping down his noggin in the rain BUT I WAS VERY STRESSED AND ANGRY. ha ha He has been on his best behaviour since.
 
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lipsticktaser

VIP Member
I threatened to burn the house with all the gifts in it last night.
So, it’s going well here 😂😂
Husband hates Christmas and just doesn’t contribute bar pointing out how we need to deep clean for HIS parents coming.
Im now on strike, not a gift will be bought or food item organised. They can come to my house as it normally is and eat frozen pizza for all I care atm.
 
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Oohthedrama

Iconic Member
Moderator
Don’t judge me but I always plan A chest infection or ear ache “coming on” at about 5.30 on Christmas Day...

I will take part for the kids sake,
then fuck off like an influencer who’s realised adsense season is over 🙂
 
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Serious_Susan

VIP Member
I am so so fed up with trying to make everyone else happy this Christmas and therefore dreading the day with the kids. There are only my two kids in our family and the other 12 adults are so selfish, they think the kids are there purely for them and their enjoyment.
 
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BettyCrocker

VIP Member
So stop. Stop trying to please everyone. It’s an impossible task.

Focus on yourself & your kids. That’s it. Fuck everyone else! The rest of them are adults right? They can sort themselves out. Stop putting the pressure on you, it’s not worth it. Christmas is 1 day out of a whole year. That’s all.
 
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Greed-Futures

Active member
I've given up on keeping everyone happy. If I'm hosting I do my best to host a nice event. If I'm a guest I do my best to go with the flow and be nice through until I decide to leave. If people still have a problem with some facet of my behavior I've decided that that is just their problem and I can't control people who are irrational or hellbent on finding an issue.

I have a family that, unfortunately, operates on a system of passive aggressive displays and guilt trips. I decided earlier this year that I'm simply not going to participate or even acknowledge the tension anymore.
 
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SunshineDreamer

Chatty Member
I was trying to please everyone last year. It all came to a head when my mother in law decided everyone was going to spend it at her house, where my kids being the youngest, get totally eclipsed and would have ended up with their cousins opening their presents (as it nearly happened at their birthday) and having to follow her strict routine of no presents until after dinner and the children eating separately. I put my foot down and said we’re spending it how we wanted too. She wasn’t happy but it’s my family and that was what we wanted to do.

I started early this year saying we’re spending it at home where the kids can have their presents whenever they want and we’ll do it our way.
 
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Annie101

Well-known member
We doing no Christmas gift and everyone contributes an amount to gift for a friends of mines cancer treatment. Must say it relieves a lot of stress. I live in South Africa, so we have a nice outdoor summer lunch in garden with friends.
 
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JessicaFletcher

Chatty Member
It's really hard. My husband is an only child and insists we go to his parents every year which is a 4 hour drive. I've always grit my teeth with the odd moan but now we have a toddler I really can't be arsed dragging everything there. It's always boring, the food is always not to my taste. It's not the sort of 'everyone chip in' Christmas which I wouldnt mind, it's always how his mum wants it. They're the sort that open presents in the evening! I said we weren't going this year and she made a big fuss and made us feel guilty so now we are. I just want to sit around watching crap on tv, playing board games and a decent roast 😂 I want to be able to start our own traditions not always do someone else's!
 
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you can never please everyone. Someone will always be unhappy even when you try your hardest, so I've decided not to try hard this year. No visiting anyone, let the kids enjoy their day at home with their new toys!
 
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bubbletea123

VIP Member
You can't please everyone and people need to get over it.

It will just be me, my fiance and the dog at Christmas and I am quite happy about it. We will have a lie-in, stay in our pjs and watch some good tv shows.
 
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gene210

Member
Don't try. Cannot be done, the only person you have to please is yourself and your immediate family.
 
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coconochanel

VIP Member
I love Christmas but it can be a nightmare if you have family members you don't get on with or that rub you up the wrong way( we all have at least one). You cant please everyone so don't even try and remember Christmas lunch is just a sunday lunch with a cracker.
 
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imaginedragon83

VIP Member
So I told my in laws today we would be up early christmas morning for our visit as last year we didnt get to even start cooking til into the afternoon. We were basically screamed at and told that it wasnt good enough that they are never priority (no, my sons Christmas is) and saying they supposed we would see mu family more (actually no they will be with my brothers family 2 hours away). I've come away physically shaking and upset and my husband is livid. Merry fucking christmas
 
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LemonLife

VIP Member
My family have ignored my extended family for my entire life! If visiting them/going to theirs for Christmas does not bring you joy then just don’t do it 💁🏻‍♀️

It might ruffle a few feathers initially but I promise you my extended family still love us. Regardless, of the fact that Christmas is just for the 4 of us
 
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We doing no Christmas gift and everyone contributes an amount to gift for a friends of mines cancer treatment. Must say it relieves a lot of stress. I live in South Africa, so we have a nice outdoor summer lunch in garden with friends.
I loved South African christmas' - have a braai with friends and then go to the beach for the rest of the day. SO much less stress than living in the UK.

I would say just be yourself and fuck anybody who wants to ruin your Xmas. I've learned to deal with the passive aggressive nature of british people. In South Africa we are direct so you're either going to fall out or have a fab time together. ANd if you fall out you piss off back home.
 
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