New baby and post birth advice #5

[nurseren]

Hi sorry this is nothing to do with babies and will only mean something to a few people but I have to tell someone. Littlepotato is playing a GATE, yes a GATE, in his nativity. That’s right, he is playing a gate to the inn. I knew you guys would love it. Let me know if you want tickets. 10% off if you say tattle at the door.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Well after 9 weeks my BF'ing journey has come to an end.
I could carry on, and I worry I will regret not carrying on. But honestly I've not put the girls down for 5 days I'm mega exhausted and selfishly I just want a longer sleep. And not feeling like I'm constantly attached to a child if I'm not tandem feeding I feed one then the other wants a feed. I want to be able to actually move off the sofa
They already have one bottle of formula in the morning as it's convenient before the school run & their meds.
I'm unsure the point to this, I just needed to say it to someone .

 

[Kitt]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your kind and thoughtful responses yesterday, i read them all and they all really helped. I was brutally honest with my husband and he was gutted and he said he was honestly trying so hard to do stuff round the house and he’s sorry that he messes up. I do appreciate that he’s trying and I can see he is I think sometimes it bothers me more than others and I feel like I can’t cope with everything. I said in order to feel a bit better about things I need like half hour each day to just get some things done or even just to read or exercise for 10 mins so I can feel on top of things and in control around the house and also have a bit of me time. I’ve also decided I need to be more sociable and get out the house more in general so life is more interesting and I don’t become a hermit and get down and lonely. Need to be Kitt as well as Finn’s mom. We’ve also decided to make a conscious effort to improve our relationship - counselling might be on the cards if we can find something.

To offset the negative seriousness with some positives today:
- I woke up today feeling way lighter mentally than I did yesterday.
- I saw my friend for a few hours today, going to get brownies from my fave bakery tomorrow, seeing my mom Sunday and seeing another friend with a new baby on Monday. Look at me go.
- HV advised that if Finn is happy going down for a nap in his crib upstairs then I can leave him to it and just check on him regularly but can go off and get stuff done. So this evening he slept for 40 mins and I was able to get all the washing up done and chill for 10 mins. Felt like freedom haha.
- we’ve got chip shop for tea.
- I got the peanut app to make friends. Will update to tell you if I have any success.

 

[miss_americana]

Hi everyone! Hope you don’t mind me jumping on! I was an avid reader of the pregnancy thread with some of you in May-July but never had the confidence to get an account and chat! But I’ve got one as a had to comment on some insta accounts and then found this thread and thought I’d say hi! Our little girl was born at 30 + 2 in early July so is 18 weeks but actually only 8 corrected. Spent a lot of time blaming myself for what happened and obsessing about her health when we got home from our 6 weeks in NICU but much calmer now (she says ). Anyway that was a long way of saying hi!

 

[Kitt]

I feel like I need to talk about this and this thread is the only place I feel I can. Hope this is okay.

I feel like I need to leave my husband but I’m scared to. He’s so supportive in some ways and he tries so hard but I just find he doesn’t make me happy. There’s so many things about him that bother me and I keep having to go over the same material with him and he never changes. When he washes up everything is still dirty and I must’ve said a million times about it and it still happens. I know that’s one small stupid thing but to me it’s a problem, it wouldn’t be a problem but cause it’s every day it’s awful. I feel like my house is always dirty cause I’m the only one who stays on top of every day stuff and I’m not so on top of it now cause of the baby. I nitpick at him constantly and he doesn’t like that and I don’t like being that person. I become this horrible moody person cause I’m not happy with him.

The main thing is that when Finn was 2 weeks old I caught my husband drinking beer in his office and turns out he’d had 3 cans before midday. This isn’t by any means the first time he’s hidden drinking from me but it was so devastating to find he was doing it while I was looking after our 2 week old downstairs. He was abused as a kid and he’s always ‘coped’ with alcohol when he goes through a bad patch. Since this incident he’s sought out help which is great and I can see he’s trying but I feel like all the trust is gone now. I don’t know if I can ever get it back. I don’t even know if I love him.

We’re not affectionate with each other, life is very mundane and he never suggests we do anything. He never has, our life has always moved forward cause I choose to do things. He doesn’t even make me laugh. We just have similar values and a lot in common so we’ve always got on well but so many things about him bother me now and there doesn’t seem to be many positives.

I don’t know how I could possibly go it alone with a 10 week old baby. Financially, how is that even possible?! Finn would have separated parents all his life my husband doesn’t see his family and has no friends, I’d just be leaving him alone to deal with life and his mental health on his own. I care about him cause I don’t want him to be alone and struggle, but I also feel very unhappy most days. I don’t know what to do.

 

[nurseren]

I only saw the comments on the pregnancy thread I think about her a lot too x

Does anyone ever hear from small potato? Think of her often Hope potato family are as well as can be.

I’m here, I think about you guys and miss you too.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

We did a thing today. We did the school run and then we spent the entire day out of the house & visited my work colleague. It felt soooooo good to not just be stuck in my living room. I mean the house is a mess. But I actually went out and spoke to someone who didn't impregnate me or I gave birth too. The girls seemed to love it too

 

[I’mThankyou_]

@Babyyoda88 hugs. Sorry it’s been such a shit 24hrs. The medication being split morning and night hasn’t helped at all?

How are the TwinThankYous today? Any sleep happened for you yet? @I’mThankyou_



You could ask for a suppository, apparently they get things moving quite quickly x

Sleep is here and there I can't complain really they're amazing babies! They're asleep now and I should be but I just sit here and watch them find each other for comfort all night They've had a cold all week and it's almost like since the cold reflux is no more.

Hope you are one less stressed Mama this weekend

 

[Definitelyme]

feeling very touched out today which is weird as yesterday was one of those days you feel like you’ve got it all together. And today it’s only 9.30 and I’ve already yelled at everyone and burnt the dinner.

 

[Kitt]

If anyone is near me is struggling and would like me and Finn to come visit and give you time for a nap / make you a cup of tea and have a chat then I’d be very happy to. Genuinely. I’m not a weirdo, I’m actually quite nice sometimes.


(Hope this isn’t weird, my HV told me to be more sociable but I don’t think she meant this hahaha)

 

[LongishCat]

Hi all!
LongishKitten is a bit over a week old now (how did that happen? ), so figured I'd park myself here!
Honestly, I still can't believe I graduated from both the TTC and the Pregnancy thread.
Getting to know little Kitten has been lovely so far though.
She's such a sweet and easy going baby. Breastfeeding is going better and better, although I do feel like nothing more than a milk jug every now and then

 

[Crazycatlady18]

I’ve done it! I’ve done it!!!!! i did the pad thing and my bladder went at the same time but my god that feels better.
thank you for all the tips ladies. I’ve never been so happy to do a poo.
now i can go back to worrying about the baby who doesn’t seem to want to eat so much this evening

 

[Babyyoda88]

I feel a change in my baby today. She’s started making eye contact and focussing on us, it’s really cute. She also sat in her bouncer chair for a while without crying, she just sat in there chilled. Was lovely.

 

[SavvyBee]

Thanks everyone - currently outside a&e crying like a loony whilst Husband takes him in, midwives asked us to come up because they would be able to prescribe him medicine if he needs it. He is looking a little jaundice today too but seems very settled this morning and has fed well (I think) but still no wee or poo. They’re keeping an eye on his kidney too as one was a little swollen so extra reason to be vigilant but hoping it’s just his system being so new. I’ve had now my 4th negative covid test at home and still zero symptoms but obviously can’t risk going inside the hospital so I’m just stood outside the door wanting my little boy back! Absolutely nothing in the world could prepare you for the overwhelming love and worry, could it?

 

[Dipdab]

Hi everyone have joined you all from the pregnancy thread! Had my lovely twin girls on Friday via c section at exactly 37 weeks. Can’t stop worrying about everything as had a bit of stressful time in hospital but have finally been discharged,
Tonight’s worry one of the girls only seems to sleep on her side. Everything time I roll her back she goes back again. Swear she’s trolling me

 

[Tui]

Hi ladies I was in the pregnancy thread way back and last posted here about 4-5m ago. Thought I’d rejoin. I have a 7m old boy, my first

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I'm being slyly watched and totally judged as I sit in bed and devour a whole chocolate bar


If the parrot wants to get involved with childcare let him
I'm joking, I think?!

Oh he's always involved somehow, there's no show without punch as they say .

Google just said to me cheesy cradle cap can be a fungal infection so I'll maybe call the Dr tomorrow

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Did I just drive for an hour after the school run to try and get the twins to sleep? Yes. Are the twins asleep? No. We're they in sync with their feeds last night? No. We're they up every alternating hour? Yes.
Send vodka caffeine.

 

[Crazycatlady18]

Hello! New here, recent gratuate! Baby girl born Tuesday. Still in hospital after some latching issues.
We’re all good to go home but I cannot get her off the boob now. She’s been between both for 3 hours now. Is this normal? I’m so tired from being in hospital and I just want to get home but can’t. I don’t even know if she’s feeding or comforting. This whole being a mum things rather over whelming isn’t it!!

 

[Babyyoda88]

Baby is 6lbs Woohoo

good luck with your poo @Crazycatlady18 . It’ll literally be a huge relief when it’s all done and dusted.