Believe me girl I couldn’t believe it either... talk about a NECK
yea I did/do still know her. She lives in the same place as me - small town. Shocking lol
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yea I did/do still know her. She lives in the same place as me - small town. Shocking lol
I sometimes used to look back and think how can it work with them and not with me, what do they have what I don't? Etc etc and the answer is absolutely nothing. You know your worth and what you are prepared to put up with etc. He might have have gone public with her because she pestered him constantly etc. You never know what goes on behind closed doors and it turns out a lot actually does go on...and it's not good! Try not to dwell on him. Focus your energies on something else. Don't beat yourself up for still thinking about him either, it's normal and healthy but you are way better off without someone who cheats.
It can be hard when your ex moves on, but I think that's because we forget about all the crappy reasons it didn't work out with them and instead remember some good memories, if there were any at all.
I've only found out recently my ex has moved on after harassing me and watching my every move via SM, friends and families open accounts etc for the past 3yrs.. he still checks my friends/families accounts, still checks what I am doing but no doubt plays this lovely guy to his new girl. I know I shouldn't care but I think its the fact he has still managed to get into my head for so long with some of the disgusting things he has called me. I have mentioned him on here before, how he would call me a large weird mess, a pathetic sad lonely b, my family hate me, i have thunder thighs, I am a tramp etc.. then I started running and he saw this on my twitter and started trolling me for it, saying i need to stop eating etc.
Even yesterday he went onto my friends SM, who he doesn't know and seen I commented on her photo so was still checking up on me and felt the need to message me about it. Its like he can move on but still try and get into my head.
I am a terrible over-thinker at the best of times, I create scenarios in my head that will likely never happen or I get upset or hurt when I think about them.
I need to remind myself of all the nasty things he has said to me, remind myself even when we were together he would get on like a baby and block/unblock etc if he didn't get his way. I need to remind myself not everything you see on SM is real. People portray their lives are perfect when we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I need to remind myself my ex isn't worth tit.
I've only found out recently my ex has moved on after harassing me and watching my every move via SM, friends and families open accounts etc for the past 3yrs.. he still checks my friends/families accounts, still checks what I am doing but no doubt plays this lovely guy to his new girl. I know I shouldn't care but I think its the fact he has still managed to get into my head for so long with some of the disgusting things he has called me. I have mentioned him on here before, how he would call me a large weird mess, a pathetic sad lonely b, my family hate me, i have thunder thighs, I am a tramp etc.. then I started running and he saw this on my twitter and started trolling me for it, saying i need to stop eating etc.
Even yesterday he went onto my friends SM, who he doesn't know and seen I commented on her photo so was still checking up on me and felt the need to message me about it. Its like he can move on but still try and get into my head.
I am a terrible over-thinker at the best of times, I create scenarios in my head that will likely never happen or I get upset or hurt when I think about them.
I need to remind myself of all the nasty things he has said to me, remind myself even when we were together he would get on like a baby and block/unblock etc if he didn't get his way. I need to remind myself not everything you see on SM is real. People portray their lives are perfect when we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I need to remind myself my ex isn't worth tit.
Guys, thank you so much for your replies. I can’t tell you how much these mean to me.
I wish I could say I’m feeling better than when I wrote the first post in a wine haze at 1am but I really don’t. I hate that Valentine’s Day is coming up and they’ll be spending it together, I feel so sick thinking about it.
I’m so sorry that so many of you have experienced so many crappy men and I’m sending you all so much love
I wish I could say I’m feeling better than when I wrote the first post in a wine haze at 1am but I really don’t. I hate that Valentine’s Day is coming up and they’ll be spending it together, I feel so sick thinking about it.
I’m so sorry that so many of you have experienced so many crappy men and I’m sending you all so much love
It may not seem it now but it will get better. Without sounding bitter but no matter what you do some ‘men’ will always be trash. You deserve better. Concentrate on yourself and doing the things you love. I’m guilty of a wine and stalk but end of the day it only upsets you. Trust me been there 
. You will meet someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Never settle
. You will meet someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Never settle 
Hey, I’m a 30 year old woman and I’ve been with my partner for 9 years. I still, on occasions, think about someone I was head over heels with at uni all those years ago. I *may* have checked his socials too (note: He doesn’t have many and we have no friends in common so my sleuth skills have to work hard to find him
It doesn’t mean I’m any less happy in my life or my relationship and the frequency of these fleeting thoughts and social checks have decreased over time (I probably last did this over 18 months ago). But the reason why it crops up is I feel that I didn’t have closure and I think my subconscious every now and again tries to make sense of it. I met his parents, we went away together and one day he just completely ghosted me, never returned my calls and cut me out. I was so hurt. I probably still am! Don’t let this de-rail your progression with getting over him, you’ll see his socials again, you may even bump in to him, but you’ll be a better woman in the long run for it. Right now, you’ll feel like to can’t get over it but one day you’ll think WHY am I wasting my time over this loser? TRUST ME!
A cheater who took your virginity but didn't publicly acknowledge your relationship. One who moved onto the next so quickly. You want to keep that type of human as far away as possible. That says nothing about you but everything about him. There is nothing wrong with you. It also doesn't mean that he's thriving.
I have been there & you can't explain why it still hurts because you know it shouldn't. It was only 6 months ago, any news of him moving on will hurt & it's normal. Some poor girl is now having to put up with his tit. At least it's not you.
Please believe me when I say you will get over it. I have wasted so much time on heartache before but you can't help how you feel.
Write down the pros & cons of your relationship, know what you don't want in a future partner & remember you're worth someone shouting from the rooftops that they're with you.
Pamper yourself, get a good nights sleep, exercise, have a spring clean (in Feb
) do anything positive for you that will make you feel good 
Sorry to hear that he cheated on you. He sounds like a loser.
It is hard to move on from somebody when you’ve fallen in love with them and the urge to see how their life without you is panning out, is often too great to resist. But, to save your sanity, I would take little steps each day and distract yourself with something you enjoy doing. When you feel that urge to take a look, remind yourself of the way he treated you and feel lucky you are no longer with him.
Take comfort in the fact that he will likely cheat on his new girl too.
Don't feel bad your ex sounds awful and you are well shot of him . Facebook and social media is a reel of our 'best bits' it is fake we don't see who cheated , who had a fight last night or who cried themselves to sleep . You can move on with your life and feel pity for your ex and his new girl. You are so much better than that.
It's difficult and painful. Time does heal. Be kind to yourself. Have some ME time.
People will probably say I'm wrong for saying this but I don't care. I find the best way to get over someone is to meet someone new.
Oh lovely 
I know you're feeling down but wanted to send you a hug.
Life has a funny way of turning out. My first love, I honestly thought we'd be together forever. He was a little older but we were one anothers firsts and each others world. I was only 14 when I met him (SO young). He didn't cheat on me, but I was 18, doing a summer work internship in London and we'd planned to go to Paris for the weekend. My internship was at a law firm and I remember being dizzy with excitement about going to Paris with him that I was verging on annoying all the partners! I waited for him at the train station to get the train to Paris and he never showed up. 3 bloody hours. He didn't answer his phone or anything. He ended up flying back to Australia (where he was originally from) the next day. I blocked him. His best friend was amazing to me. We formed a friendship and it developed. Yesterday we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and have been together 19 years. We've had 4 gorgeous children, I've graduated as a lawyer not just in the UK but Australia too, where we now live. We've travelled the world and he's my universe.
I guess what I was trying to say is that when you're feeling low, which is perfectly valid and OK, another door will open which will lead to a new happiness. May not be a man, may be a job or another opportunity. You're maybe going to look back one day and it'll click and make sense.
As for the guy who 'got away'. I'd blocked him so he wasn't able to get hold of me (pre internet and social media times). He actually landed back in oz and had second thoughts and did try contacting me. He apparently left as he thought I wouldn't be the woman who'd have children and settle down for a few more years and his dad (on the other side of the world) was pressuring him to settle down. When he eventually came back to England, I'd moved on and he tgen had a rebound marriage to some chick. I remember reading about it in the paper and although I'd moved on and was happy, it was like being hit by a train. His marriage lasted all of five mins. He's now married to my lookalike, who is very controlling to him and has a temper apparently. He's still friends with my husband. When I was last back in the UK I ran into him, he was a bit drunk and he did keep saying he should never have let me go despite the fact he abandoned me at a train station. My husband is worth a million of him. However it was great for the ego that he still thinks of me like that.
So you never know, he may, when you've moved on, look back and think about you and how amazing you are.
Sorry waffled on so much. You will be OK x
I know you're feeling down but wanted to send you a hug.
Life has a funny way of turning out. My first love, I honestly thought we'd be together forever. He was a little older but we were one anothers firsts and each others world. I was only 14 when I met him (SO young). He didn't cheat on me, but I was 18, doing a summer work internship in London and we'd planned to go to Paris for the weekend. My internship was at a law firm and I remember being dizzy with excitement about going to Paris with him that I was verging on annoying all the partners! I waited for him at the train station to get the train to Paris and he never showed up. 3 bloody hours. He didn't answer his phone or anything. He ended up flying back to Australia (where he was originally from) the next day. I blocked him. His best friend was amazing to me. We formed a friendship and it developed. Yesterday we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and have been together 19 years. We've had 4 gorgeous children, I've graduated as a lawyer not just in the UK but Australia too, where we now live. We've travelled the world and he's my universe.
I guess what I was trying to say is that when you're feeling low, which is perfectly valid and OK, another door will open which will lead to a new happiness. May not be a man, may be a job or another opportunity. You're maybe going to look back one day and it'll click and make sense.
As for the guy who 'got away'. I'd blocked him so he wasn't able to get hold of me (pre internet and social media times). He actually landed back in oz and had second thoughts and did try contacting me. He apparently left as he thought I wouldn't be the woman who'd have children and settle down for a few more years and his dad (on the other side of the world) was pressuring him to settle down. When he eventually came back to England, I'd moved on and he tgen had a rebound marriage to some chick. I remember reading about it in the paper and although I'd moved on and was happy, it was like being hit by a train. His marriage lasted all of five mins. He's now married to my lookalike, who is very controlling to him and has a temper apparently. He's still friends with my husband. When I was last back in the UK I ran into him, he was a bit drunk and he did keep saying he should never have let me go
despite the fact he abandoned me at a train station. My husband is worth a million of him. However it was great for the ego that he still thinks of me like that. So you never know, he may, when you've moved on, look back and think about you and how amazing you are.
Sorry waffled on so much. You will be OK x
My love , we've all been there. You are not on your own. You will come out of this. Forget about Valentine's Day - at least this year it's low key for everyoneGuys, thank you so much for your replies. I can’t tell you how much these mean to me.
I wish I could say I’m feeling better than when I wrote the first post in a wine haze at 1am but I really don’t. I hate that Valentine’s Day is coming up and they’ll be spending it together, I feel so sick thinking about it.
I’m so sorry that so many of you have experienced so many crappy men and I’m sending you all so much love
.Be good to yourself and try not to reach for the bottle - it solves nothing. Sending you my love.An ex is an ex for a reason you will look back in a few years and be happy they are your ex.
It will be tough and it will be hard to forget the feelings of a first love.
I know how it makes you feel when they move on so quick.
My ex moved on very quick after I ended the relationship he was living with someone else within a couple of months. I at the time had to deal with the affects of years of dv, my grandparents dying being made redundant and being a parent to a 3 year old.
I know it’s easier someone else saying but things will get better surround yourself with family and friends.. time on your own will make you realise how you don’t need him in your life. If you can’t talk to them about how you feel maybe write a diary just to help you process your feelings.
I was on my own for 2 years before I met my now fiancé and my ex is now on his own living in a cabin in his parents garden. The grass isn’t always greener for them in the end!!
It will be tough and it will be hard to forget the feelings of a first love.
I know how it makes you feel when they move on so quick.
My ex moved on very quick after I ended the relationship he was living with someone else within a couple of months. I at the time had to deal with the affects of years of dv, my grandparents dying being made redundant and being a parent to a 3 year old.
I know it’s easier someone else saying but things will get better surround yourself with family and friends.. time on your own will make you realise how you don’t need him in your life. If you can’t talk to them about how you feel maybe write a diary just to help you process your feelings.
I was on my own for 2 years before I met my now fiancé and my ex is now on his own living in a cabin in his parents garden. The grass isn’t always greener for them in the end!!
Changed my life & I hope it helps you too xx
I wish I read this on my first heartbreak. <3Oh lovely
I know you're feeling down but wanted to send you a hug.
Life has a funny way of turning out. My first love, I honestly thought we'd be together forever. He was a little older but we were one anothers firsts and each others world. I was only 14 when I met him (SO young). He didn't cheat on me, but I was 18, doing a summer work internship in London and we'd planned to go to Paris for the weekend. My internship was at a law firm and I remember being dizzy with excitement about going to Paris with him that I was verging on annoying all the partners! I waited for him at the train station to get the train to Paris and he never showed up. 3 bloody hours. He didn't answer his phone or anything. He ended up flying back to Australia (where he was originally from) the next day. I blocked him. His best friend was amazing to me. We formed a friendship and it developed. Yesterday we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and have been together 19 years. We've had 4 gorgeous children, I've graduated as a lawyer not just in the UK but Australia too, where we now live. We've travelled the world and he's my universe.
I guess what I was trying to say is that when you're feeling low, which is perfectly valid and OK, another door will open which will lead to a new happiness. May not be a man, may be a job or another opportunity. You're maybe going to look back one day and it'll click and make sense.
As for the guy who 'got away'. I'd blocked him so he wasn't able to get hold of me (pre internet and social media times). He actually landed back in oz and had second thoughts and did try contacting me. He apparently left as he thought I wouldn't be the woman who'd have children and settle down for a few more years and his dad (on the other side of the world) was pressuring him to settle down. When he eventually came back to England, I'd moved on and he tgen had a rebound marriage to some chick. I remember reading about it in the paper and although I'd moved on and was happy, it was like being hit by a train. His marriage lasted all of five mins. He's now married to my lookalike, who is very controlling to him and has a temper apparently. He's still friends with my husband. When I was last back in the UK I ran into him, he was a bit drunk and he did keep saying he should never have let me go
So you never know, he may, when you've moved on, look back and think about you and how amazing you are.
Sorry waffled on so much. You will be OK x
OP- I wish you are the best. No amount of preparation can prepare for your first heartbreak, time will heal
I hope you're feeling better a month later. Can totally relate - had pretty much an identical experience in 2019. It really does play with your mental health and makes you question things about yourself that you never would've before. I know it sounds so cliche but time really is the greatest healer and especially being in lockdown, its easy to dwell on it constantly but you will get to a point where seeing memories pop up on social media won't phase you. Don't fall into the trap of stalking their social medias, it'll portray such a different picture to the reality of their relationship. I had to live in the same house as my ex for my second year of uni as we'd stupidly signed the lease in first year when we were just friends (luckily we lived with 2 other lovely friends) and he essentially moved his new gf in without asking any of us permission. While it was one of the hardest things ever and I had to flee home quite a bit at first, it was the perfect example of everything is not being as it seems. I have them both blocked on all social media but my friends tell me they're constantly declaring how much they love each other and how perfect everything is (number 1 red flag), but their screaming matches would often wake us all up in the early hours. Your ex not being able to commit to someone like yourself who let him see you at your most vulnerable state and loved him with your whole heart is very much a 'him' problem, not a 'you' problem. Try and find comfort in the fact that now his new gf has to deal with someone who is innately non-commital and a cheat. That is him as a person and it won't have changed just because he's facebook official with someone. Time will help you comprehend that you're worth so much more and you're lucky that you only spent a short amount of time with him. You deserve someone who respects you and is proud to call you their girlfriend and who will respect your body.
Every single time something has ended with one I have found better, it just takes time to realise but you learn from it and know what kind of men to avoid in the future. Spot a red flag - learn to call it a day there and then.